(May be sung to sorta a combination of “Davy Crockett” & “the Beverly Hillbillies”)
Hear the story of Joseph Smith
Snake oil salesman who wrote a myth
About a book on sheets of gold
Very sacred—very old.
Written in an ancient tongue
A tale of Jesus yet unsung
The angel Moroni helped him translate
Those sacred words of racial hate.
So now we have our latter saints
And men can now have several mates
In the holy words of Brigham Young
“Just bring ‘em now and bring ‘em young.”
Brigham found a lake of salt
Where the Mormons’ march could halt
His people built a temple there
So their message they could share.
See them go out two by two
Bringing Joseph’s truth to you
Join up now and you can save
All your people in the grave.
Drink no coffee, drink no tea
Mormon truth can set you free
You too can Mormonism find
If you disconnect your mind.
by Edwin Kagin
July 5, 1996
Lake Hypatia, Alabama