(May be sung to sorta a combination of “Davy Crockett” & “the Beverly Hillbillies”)


Hear the story of Joseph Smith

Snake oil salesman who wrote a myth

About a book on sheets of gold

Very sacred—very old.


Written in an ancient tongue

A tale of Jesus yet unsung

The angel Moroni helped him translate

Those sacred words of racial hate.


So now we have our latter saints

And men can now have several mates

In the holy words of Brigham Young

“Just bring ‘em now and bring ‘em young.”


Brigham found a lake of salt

Where the Mormons’ march could halt

His people built a temple there

So their message they could share.


See them go out two by two

Bringing Joseph’s truth to you

Join up now and you can save

All your people in the grave.



Drink no coffee, drink no tea

Mormon truth can set you free

You too can Mormonism find

If you disconnect your mind.


by Edwin Kagin

July 5, 1996

Lake Hypatia, Alabama



  1. Rebecca says

    Chuckle. Can anyone play?

    Another joy in mind to bear
    Is getting magic underwear
    To help you stand out from the crowd
    But only if you’re, well, endowed.

  2. mcbender says

    Here’s my little contribution…

    And sometime later, when you die
    You’ll rule a planet in the sky
    And fill it with your progeny.
    But no, it’s not misogyny!

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