Jan 30 2009

Nice Alpenhorn!

News Item–An influx of naked German hikers has led to the proposal of a Swiss ordinance which would mandate fines for nude hiking.

The Swiss have said “Enough! Enough!”
We’ll have no hiking in the buff!
See, German hikers gave them fits
By showing off their naughty bits—
A practice which the Swiss construed
As lewd, indecent, crude and rude.

So now, if Germans wish to slough
Their clothing there, the going’s rough.
No innies, outies, bums, or tits;
The Germans now must use their wits
If suddenly, they’re in the mood
To go out rambling in the nude.

If someone tried to call the bluff,
And hike in full display of stuff
The Swiss police alertly sits
To meet them with an all-out blitz–
A picture which, I must conclude,
Leaves naked hikers rightly screwed.

pic source: BBC


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  1. 1

    I’ve never understood this desire to hike naked. There are some places you do NOT want to get a mosquito bite!!!

  2. 2

    Agreed! Is Switzerland some magic place with no poison ivy, no thorns, no stinging or biting insects, no deranged inbred back-mountain yokels? Just chocolates, cuckoo clocks, fancy pocket-knives, lederhosen, alpenhorns, and cheese with holes? Or perhaps the Swiss know better than to go rock climbing in the altogether simply due to experience! I always wondered what the origin of yodeling was…

  3. 3
    Bob O'Hara

    Switzerland is too organized to have poison ivy, thorns, stinging and biting insects, or deranged inbred back-mountain yokels. Damn boring place – the last interesting thing to happen there was a wooden bridge burning down.

  4. 4
    Stacy S.

    At least they have nice legs!

  5. 5
    Blake Stacey

    Sometimes, all I can say is, “???”

  6. 6

    I mean, I might be liberal and stuff, but can’t the German go show their genitals off in their own country instead of coming over to our place and show US?And Cuttlefish, in addition to the all the things you listed, we have banks and luxury watches too.And, its “ALPHORN” not “Alpenhorn”!And, we don’t wear Lederhosen. Thats the Bavarians :D But, in your excuse, you didn’t list the great sport “Hornussen”, which is at least as embarassing for us :P

  7. 7

    My sincere apologies, dvizard! My incorrectness on all matters Swiss can be traced to Berne. Berne, Indiana, that is; I had an uncle there. They had Swiss festivals, and I went to one when I was very young. Whether they mispronounced Alphorn or I misremembered it, I do at least have the memory of a recital by a pair of them–it really was a beautiful sound. And the players were wearing lederhosen! Now I am just embarrassed for my American ignorance….

  8. 8

    *whew* after checking a reference, I can at least be happy that it was not my mistake alone. But now, I can be snobbish and correct people and tell them I got the proper pronunciation directly from Switzerland!And Hornussen looks intriguing… but I am odd; I even like Curling.

  9. 9
    The Ridger, FCD

    How come they’re wearing boots and socks??? I cry FOUL!

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