Great moments in employee motivation

Recently the employees of a chain of convenience stores called QC Mart got the following memo:

New Contest – Guess The Next Cashier Who Will Be Fired!!! To win our game, write on a piece of paper the name of the next cashier you believe will be fired. Write their name [the person who will be fired], today’s date, today’s time, and your name. Seal it in an envelope and give it to the manager to put in my envelope.

Here’s how the game will work: We are doubling our secret-shopper efforts, and your store will be visited during the day and at night several times a week. Secret shoppers will be looking for cashiers wearing a hat, talking on a cell phone, not wearing a QC Mart shirt, having someone hanging around/behind the counter and/or a personal car parked by the pumps after 7 p.m., among other things.

If the name in your envelope has the right answer, you will win $10 CASH. Only one winner per firing unless there are multiple right answers with the exact same name, date, and time. Once we fire the person, we will open all the envelopes, award the prize, and start the contest again.

And no fair picking Mike Miller from (the Rockingham Road store). He was fired at around 11:30 a.m. today for wearing a hat and talking on his cell phone. Good luck!!!!!!!!!!

For some inexplicable reason, this contest failed to excite employees, some of whom quit. You would think all those exclamation points would have really pumped the employees up to play.


  1. Alverant says

    I’m from Davenport, IA (where most of the QC Marts are) and I don’t think I’ve ever been to one (I checked google’s map of locations to be sure). My only complaint is that you don’t mention this happened in October 2011! You should tell us when a news story is over 6 months old. And I thought Ed Brayton was a bit late on the news.

  2. OverlappingMagisteria says

    My answer would be to write the name of the manager who created the contest to be fired by whoever their boss is for coming up with such a terrible idea.

  3. says

    Hey, don’t you go criticizing those hard-working JOB CREATORS who are just trying to inject a little levity into their daily routine of ruling their serfs. After all, if you can’t fire someone with a smile and a jaunty chuckle, you just aren’t doing it the American way.

  4. MadMax says

    This may be even more tasteless than the time the owner of the charter school I was working at got up in front of all the teachers and started cracking jokes about how poorly we were paid. Needless to say, I did not work for those assholes for much longer.

  5. says

    ‘Multiple exclamation marks,’ he went on, shaking his head, ‘are a sure sign of a diseased mind.’ — in Eric, Terry Pratchett


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