Since every one of these undying threads turns into something about geology, including the last one, it is only fitting that we reveal the truth here: rocks are evil. They want to turn everything into stone.

Now watch: no one will talk geology at all in this open thread.

The old thread is dead, a new one lives. Now dance, monkey boys and girls! Dance!

The thread still goes on? I can’t believe it. But then, I’m a scientist—I don’t believe anything.

The thread continues. Since we were last debating the merits of pie, I give you…evil pie. Probably rhubarb.

I have no idea what those subtitles say, but it’s probably something horrific.

Have no fear! I shall rescue you all from the endless temptations of the cursed undead heart of the vengeful bride of the son of the thread that will not die! This thread will be safe.

This thread is useless. I must have another. And it must be sound…and young.

If only I can keep it going until…

(Hey, does anyone else think Colin Clive was drunk as a skunk when he did this scene? Listen to him slur “simulacrum”.)

This train keeps rolling on into nightmare. It’s…it’s immoral. But it’s also a fact.

Carry on, passengers.

Greetings, my friend. We are all interested in this thread, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future. You are interested in the unknown…the mysterious. The unexplainable. That is why you are here. And now, for the first time, we are bringing to you, the full story of what happened on that fateful thread. We are bringing you all the evidence, based only on the secret testimony of the miserable souls who survived this terrifying ordeal, like Sven. The incidents, the places, the birthdays. My friend, we cannot keep this a secret any longer. Let us punish the guilty. Let us reward the innocent.

It’s happened again. One thread dies, another is born.

Aaaaiaiaiaiieeeeeeeeeaaaah! Make it stop, mommy, make it stop!

I’ve got a franchise, I guess. The Thread That Will Not DIE is going to go on and on. I’ve once again closed the old thread, and here you go, more fresh virgin database entries to despoil. Go ahead and fill it up!