…shoot my sperm into an incubator and give it 9 months…

Yes, Virginia, people this ignorant do exist. This little cabal of arrogant men get together to tell each other they’re like gods, that men alone can create life, and the explain the science of it: a man can shoot his sperm into an incubator, and 9 months later, a baby. For reals.

He should try the experiment. That’s all I have to say. Put up or shut up.


  1. johnson catman says

    That is almost as brilliant as the guy who once told me that to cure an STD, all you have to do is put a few drops of gasoline on the tip of your penis. He was not joshing with me, he actually believed that. I would not be surprised if he was now dead from either complications of an STD or third degree burns.

  2. says

    I would not be surprised if he was now dead from either complications of an STD or third degree burns.

    My guess is he died from drinking bleach a couple of years ago.

  3. moonslicer says

    Damn! When my son was very little, he started moaning when I explained to him he’d never give birth to a baby. Says I, “You can find a nice woman to marry.” That seemed to satisfy him.

    If only I’d known!

  4. birgerjohansson says

    Better idea: biological 3D printing.
    William Gibson already went that route in the novel Idoru .
    A clever way for an AI to get a physical body.

  5. expatlurker says

    “…And not me but the people they say
    That de man are leading de women astray
    But I say, that the women of today
    Smarter than the man in every way …”

  6. Rich Woods says

    @Bronze Dog #3:

    Where would the additional mass come from?

    Nine months of constant wanking. Don’t worry, he’s used to it.

  7. Akira MacKenzie says

    Jeebus! At that age of 8, I knew more about human reproduction than these adult morons… AND I WAS RAISED IN A CATHOLIC FAMILY!!!

  8. birgerjohansson says

    Bronze Dog @ 3
    The fetus would gain additional mass the same way the embryonic alien, after it busted out of the chest if John Hurt.

  9. Athaic says

    @1 johnson catman

    all you have to do is put a few drops of gasoline on the tip of your penis. […] I would not be surprised if he was now dead from either complications of an STD or third degree burns.

    Or chemical burn or chemical poisoning.
    The gland is quite sensitive and actually quite permeable. If you put things on it, especially things live solvents, like gasoline, they are going through and inside your blood.
    “A few” drops are not going to be that harmful, but again, if he went and had baths in gasoline…

    Re: the smart guys in the OP, they are back three-and-half centuries, when van Leeuwenhoek disgustingly found “animalcules” in his sperm and people thought these were future babies, just put them in the oven.

  10. silvrhalide says

    I see that the homunculus theory is alive and well in the heads of idiots.
    But I do hope they are using the original recipe. My apologies to the horses.
    “That the sperm of a man be putrefied by itself in a sealed cucurbit for forty days with the highest degree of putrefaction in a horse’s womb, or at least so long that it comes to life and moves itself, and stirs, which is easily observed. After this time, it will look somewhat like a man, but transparent, without a body. If, after this, it be fed wisely with the Arcanum of human blood, and be nourished for up to forty weeks, and be kept in the even heat of the horse’s womb, a living human child grows therefrom, with all its members like another child, which is born of a woman, but much smaller.”

  11. Pierce R. Butler says

    … a man can shoot his sperm into an incubator…

    I refuse to waste precious seconds scanning this dolt’s tweet™, but suspect “incubator” may denote uterus-and-surrounding-support-wetware in doltspeak.

  12. nomdeplume says

    I hope he knows the door of the incubator needs to be firmly closed immediately after he starts shooting in order to contain the sperm…

  13. Tethys says

    From context, he really does mean an incubator that is used to incubate eggs. He further claimed that after he “shoots” his spunk into said incubator, the scientists can prolly make it grow into a person in less than 9 months.

    Clearly someone has failed to learn how either science or sexual reproduction works,

  14. Walter Solomon says

    This is the same man who told Mike Tyson Congolese men fight gorillas with their bare hands.

  15. silvrhalide says

    @25 “Congolese men fight gorillas with their bare hands”
    Not for long they don’t. Chimps, macaques and gorillas fight dirty–they go for the eyes, the genitals and the hands/fingers first. Biting off the genitals and hands of your opponent is a go-to move for them. Keep in mind that the average chimp is stronger than the strongest human.

  16. outis says

    @26: yeah, average chimp = 3x average humans, which really honks me off. They’re four foot tall, hairy, ugly and yet stronger than Hercules. It’s really unfair.
    @6: it happens in the next novel, “All tomorrow parties”! Not one copy/avatar, but multiple ones (thousands?) in multiple locations at once! Pity that WG never explored the aftermath of that remarkable idoru invasion… still an excellent novel in every way, highly recommended along with the preceding two.