Trapped in a cheesy horror movie


I used to think that seeing characters make really bad, stupid decisions in horror movies (“let’s split up!” “let’s have sex in this abandoned cabin!” “let’s read this ancient curse aloud!”) broke the willing suspension of disbelief, but nowadays I think they add verisimilitude. That’s what real people do all the time. It’s what the people in charge, who are supposedly smarter than the rest of us, do. It’s how we’ve bumbled our way through a pandemic.

So this proposal is perfect.

I would watch that movie. I would tell you all that it is perfectly accurate in every detail.

(I still wear a mask at work. I feel so alone. I don’t think the Cassandra character gets to make it to Final Girl, so I’m also feeling a bit doomed. It’s official university policy.)

Comments

  1. raven says

    This was noted long ago.
    If there was an outbreak of Zombies, 20% of the population would deny that they even exist.

    Many of those would then go on to die after being attacked and eaten by the Zombies.
    Their friends and relatives would still deny that Zombies exist, blame Joe Biden and Barack Obama, claim that heaven gained another angel, and set up a Gofundme account for their now orphaned children.

  2. birgerjohansson says

    Can the chemistry department produce some unpleasant dust that will induce a sore throat if inhaled- that should increase face mask use.
    Fight fire with … slight discomfort.
    .
    Good luck digesting the Giuliani brain. Or Alex Jones. Methinks we could turn it into a zombie repellent?

  3. Bruce says

    And I bet the University won’t even let anyone walk around with a baseball bat, despite the advice from noted zombie hunter Simon Pegg.

  4. marner says

    I still wear a mask at work. I feel so alone.

    If I were in your shoes, I’d mask up too. I am curious, though. Everyone around you has calculated the risk of serious harm as less then their discomfort/hassle/desire for normalcy of wearing a mask. At what point will you feel comfortable being maskless? Maybe never?

  5. mamba says

    You don’t like the cliche’s? You have to watch “Cabin In The Woods” sometime.

    They play with the tropes and “explain” them all: it’s a ritual controlled by gouvernments to appease the old gods. Dumb decisions and horny? They literally dose the kids with mental-retardation drugs and pheromones. Read the curse aloud? It was left out for that specific purpose once they were dumbed down. Let’s split up? Controlled routes to make it happen. etc…

  6. weylguy says

    Why is there so much attention given to zombie apocalypse entertainment? It can never and will never happen, yet the feeble-minded among us (MAGA Republicans) believe it could occur, taking their minds off more pressing issues, like climate change, war, resource depletion and overpopulation. God help us.

  7. raven says

    It can never and will never happen,…

    Oh really???

    Have you looked at the average Red state Republican lately?
    I’m not saying they are Zombies yet, but the resemblance is there.

  8. says

    I tell people I see who are also wearing a mask, “Yes! A mask is a sign of intelligence and responsibility” We in my organization will continue to mask up and distance until Covid stops killing thousands of people each month. The following is one of MANY articles that spell out how risky and foolish people (pointing at you Univ. Mich Admins) are not being prudent with their health.
    https://digbysblog.net/2022/08/30/covid-still-aint-over/

    stay safe, people! Keep away from the MAGAT zombies!

  9. birgerjohansson says

    If you must get trapped in a cheesy horror film, try horror comedy “The Killer Condom” . It has a synthetic assassination organism (still more classy than covid deniers).

  10. birgerjohansson says

    If you have an institute of theoretical physics, the zombie students will go “branes, branes ” …

  11. rorschach says

    @6,
    “Everyone around you has calculated the risk of serious harm as less then their discomfort/hassle/desire for normalcy of wearing a mask. At what point will you feel comfortable being maskless? Maybe never?”

    I doubt a majority of the unmasked have calculated anything. Most people have posttraumatic stress after 2.5 years of the pandemic, are tired of protective measures, wish it was magically 2019 again, and have been let down by the CDC and politicians, drawn into a false security of “the pandemic is over”, so they keep going to work for the benefit of the economy.

    This pandemic of a multisystem endothelitis and vasculitis (not a flu or respiratory infection) will be over with the arrival of nasal vaccines, not before. The virus ages and exhausts your immune system, making it weaker after every bout.
    Wearing a fitting and sealing FFP2 mask on a shaved face is a simple lifesaving measure at this point. Why would you not wear one? 16 million Americans have Long Covid, of which 25% are unable to work anymore. Prevention of infections should be any government’s priority.

  12. DanDare says

    I see the emphasis is still on masks protecting the wearer. Masks are most efficacious in preventing the wearer from infecting others. Even putting your hand over your mouth and nose reduces spread when you sneeze.

  13. John Morales says

    I see the emphasis is still on masks protecting the wearer. Masks are most efficacious in preventing the wearer from infecting others.

    Arguable, but not the point.

    I mean, should I really want to protect others, I’d just stay at home and not go out at all. Then I can’t possibly infect others.
    Maybe wall myself in and become an eremite, or something.

    Bah.

    Anyway, I’m pretty sure protecting oneself is more to the fore of most people than protecting others.

  14. rorschach says

    JM @19,

    “Anyway, I’m pretty sure protecting oneself is more to the fore of most people than protecting others.”

    I’ve seen suggestions of a syndrome caused by SARS-Cov2 called PCISS, Post Covid Infection Seeking Syndrome, somewhat like what Toxoplasmosis can do to human brains, alter people’s behaviour. After a Covid infection it almost seems as if people purposefully adopt risky behaviour, eg by attending large sporting events or concerts without masks or distancing, in order to get infected again. This seems counter-intuitive from a “best to avoid potentially deadly or debilitating illnesses” PoV, so maybe there is something to that theory.