Ha ha, Lindsey Graham is screwed » « As we all know, women don’t win Never trust a poet I knew it. Tom Gauld Share this:PrintEmailShare on TumblrTweet Ha ha, Lindsey Graham is screwed » « As we all know, women don’t win
I am forever grateful to Douglas Adams for introducing the concept of poetry so bad that it can be weaponized. And then saying it was only the 3rd worst in the galaxy, the worst being that of an Emily Dickinson wannabe on Earth.
There is a writer who shall remain nameless, known for very long twitter threads of alleged investigative journalism, who is also an award-winning multiply published “poet”. Having seen how terrible this person’s poetry is, I wondered who on earth would publish such garbage. Turns out, it was a journal founded and edited by… that self-same writer.
I could have been famous, if only I was the opposite of everything I am.
Oggie: Mathom says
I wonder where the battle poetry of the Pictsies (also known as the Wee Free Men!) from Discworld would fit on that scale?
Re: Cuttlefish @ #2…
Last I heard, poetry journals generally charge to publish works. What you’ve cited would just be at the extreme end of that.
SC (Salty Current) says
Cuttlefish @ #2, I just read one of the poems. I…had no idea.
All that talk about bad poetry reminds me how I hope a certain woman threw away the poems I wrote for her when we were teenagers. Might not have been Vogon class, but close enough.
Whheydt@#4–I mean, my books are self-published. But I don’t include them in my CV!
SC@#5–every time I see a thread complaining about that person, I have to nail my tentacles to the floor to keep from commenting that their poetry is even worse. I was so relieved to see a thread where I could legitimately talk about King Midas’s ears and not simply explode. Also, I am very sorry for prompting you to read that.
More red @#6– I just found out that my mother actually saved the very first verse I ever wrote. I knew she had saved a version of it (to my embarrassment, printed in script, framed, and up on the wall), but I was recently sent the original, in my 3rd or 4th grade handwriting, on that fragile lined paper schools used back then. Saved for over 50 years!
So your poems may be hermetically sealed in a vault somewhere, is all I am saying.
Re: Cuttlefish at various…
At least my late wife’s poetry is generally pretty good. She did quite a bit of bardic work in the SCA. While not published, it was performed in front of live audiences and well received. But then, she was quite adamant about proper scansion and rhyme (or other forms, such as Anglo-Saxon alliterative verse).
Re: Cuttlefish @ #2
Is there some reason this writer shall remain nameless? Is it someone like idiots Paul Sperry or James O’Keefe (who I can’t imagine writing even terrible poetry)? Or some other fool out for celebrity.
I’ve always been interested in tasting the sounds of another language. El poeta, el sistema, la mano izquierda. Totally contrary to the utterly stupid *no problemo.
Cuttlefish@8 I still hope she junked my poems as fast as she dumped me when she met that other guy. I actually wrote a poem about that too. No one but me ever saw that depressive piece of self pity!
Mordred @ 12
You missed the opportunity to be the next Eminem!
whheydt@4: “Last I heard, poetry journals generally charge to publish works”.
That is entirely counter to my experience, which goes back 58 years, and has also not exposed me to the phrase “poetry journal” for what I would have called “poetry magazine”. Certainly they don’t all pay the authors of poetry they publish, and many pay in free copies instead of money; the one and only time I got a poem published in the New Yorker (in 2004), they paid me one dollar per word (but they aren’t exactly a “poetry journal” since they only publish two poems per issue, generally).
If you can give some data in support of your claim, I would be interested to see it. There may be predators out there of which I have been ignorant. (After all, 58 years ago who would have predicted that predatory “science journals” would exist in 2022?)
I teleported out one day
with Ron and Sid and Meg
Ron stole Meggie’s heart away
and I got Sidney’s leg
Now the world has gone to bed
darkness won’t engulf my head
I can see by infra-red
how I hate the night
Are there legitimate poetry magazines that require payment for publication? I can’t speak from personal experience, but in retirement my mother wrote poetry that was published in a variety of newspapers and magazines, and she normally received some kind of payment for it. Not enough to live on, but enough to occasionally go out to dinner or buy something special. I once mentioned a particular poetry periodical I’d heard of to her, and she said it was a scam (though she didn’t use that word); essentially a vanity publication that was issued whenever enough people paid to have their poems included in it. And, if I recall correctly, if you wanted a copy of it for future reference you had to buy it as well. I don’t recall the name of that publication, but she said there were outfits like it around, and no legitimate publisher required payment.
It has been some time since I had this conversation, and I may not remember it correctly, and of course it was only one person’s opinion, and for that matter things may have changed since then. But I’m kind of dubious about the statement that “poetry journals generally charge to publish works”–it goes against what I’ve observed at any rate.