They’re on to us!

I bet you didn’t know you were getting vaccinated with toxins just by reading Pharyngula.

It used to be that you could get away with it by covering your house with lead-based paints, but we closed that loophole.

They haven’t realized yet that asbestos increases your sexual potency and longevity. We banished that long ago, too.

We sneaky, nefarious scientists have been out to get you for decades.


  1. Artor says

    Clearly, the people who are worried about 5G microchips in the vaccines they refuse to take need to eat lots of lead paint to keep them safe. It’s the only way to be sure.

  2. Walter Solomon says

    How, exactly, would lead paint block signals from things already inside the home and nearby like modems and smart phones?

    This reminds me of an Halloween episode of The Simpsons where the family survives a nuclear explosion thanks to all the lead paint in their home.

  3. Pierce R. Butler says

    … the nano particles and/or vibes of the jab poisons are transmitted via electrical signals from source into you and your home…

    Uh, then why did they work so hard getting us to go get those shots?

  4. blf says

    How, exactly, would lead paint block signals from things already inside the home and nearby like modems and smart phones?

    That’s why you’re supposed to eat the paint chips.

    What I want to know is how radios and television sets with indoor aerials are supposed to work in homes with such paint? Or, thesedays, mobile phones?

  5. wzrd1 says

    Odd that radios worked so well inside of lead paint shielded homes for so many years.
    It’s almost like the crackpots have crackpots of their very own!

  6. Akira MacKenzie says

    Get used to it.

    This nonsense is all part of the new barbarism that is sweeping our dead nation. Liberalism didn’t save us from religion or the right–if anything it protected their cancerous spread in the name civil libertarianism. Societies that actually gave a damn about the scientific truth and economic/racial/economic justice would have stomped this out as it sprang up, but no. Fascists and liars have just as much freedom of speech as progressives, and despite our Enlightenment Era human beings are not rational, they’re filthy animals.

    It’s too late to save anything. Hope to die soon or be prepared to endure horrors you can not comprehend. Get ready for the end.

  7. hemidactylus says

    Shouldn’t lead paint be mixed with cow dung or are they supposed to be consumed separately for maximal effect— protection from reptilian lizard rays and also from COVID.

  8. euclide says

    I wonder how the nanobots are being powered.
    1) inductive coupling which would be an awesome technological breakthrough at that scale
    2) they can harvest glucose and oxygen in the blood and have their mitochondria type of power supply, which is even more awesome and could lead to a medical revolution

    Since the shadow world government wont’ acknowledge these technology, there is money and fame to be made by reverse engineering the vaccine dose.

  9. blf says

    Nanobots — an apparent upgrade form the earlier and also completely bonkers nanochip (or microchip) assertion — are powered by nanocoal, obviously… this is the real reason it’s so hard to get rid of coal-burning.

    It’s also why boosters are recommended, the bots / chips came with about a six months supply of coal. The boosters, which are mostly just coal freighters, replenish the supply (and also do some maintenance work). And whilst They™ don’t admit it, that Covid-19 (Coal vroom-vrooms increased dollars©®™) bot / chip coal-burning is why lungs can be very badly affected. Some speculate long-Covid is a result of completely(? mostly?) exhausting the coal supply, or possibly burning it too quickly (thus exhausting the supply).

  10. Nemo says

    Lead paint was banned by a secret government agreement with Superman, since it blocked his x-ray vision.

  11. René says

    Since common wisdom holds you shouldn’t ingest anything you can’t pronounce, and since Holland (okay, Friesland) has the bestest cows, I’ll tell you the Dutch word for cow dung.
    Repeat after me, coo ya straughnt. koeiestront.

  12. Rich Woods says

    @René #13:

    Repeat after me, coo ya straughnt. koeiestront.

    Is the ‘str’ pronounced as a sneeze, or am I getting Dutch confused with Danish?

  13. René says

    @14, Rich: Funny you should ask that. I hate the Danish (LAST on the list of peoples I hate) because I never even grok what the hell they are pretending to say. They all sound to me like what I sound when in pain.

  14. Walter Solomon says

    blf @4

    You bring the chips and I’ll bring the dip. It’s gourmet, sheetrock flavor.

  15. Bruce says

    Of course it never occurs to these nuts that RF shielding is usually made out of neutral metal foil, plate, or wires. But the lead in paint is never metallic lead(0), but is always the oxidized plumbous cation lead (II). Sad that merely paying attention in high school chemistry was enough to set us apart from these conspiracy clowns. But then, I never thought that a yes answer to “are you smarter than a fifth grader?” was somehow a BAD thing.

  16. Akira MacKenzie says

    I don’t know how you guys can laugh at this crap. This insanity stopped being funny for me after Il Douche was elected.

  17. robro says

    If they were really concerned about signals reaching the nanobots injected into their arms, they not only need lead paint on their houses but also lead covers on their windows and doors. And then never come out. Win-win for all of us.

    blf @ #10 — Boosters are also necessary for software updates.

  18. unclefrogy says

    well I guess then that I must be pretty safe, because I live in a house that is 100 years old and under the latex paint must be a few layers of lead paint and some time in the late 50’s or 60’s it was covered with asbestos shingle over foil. My son has complained about cellphone reception . All I need now are grounded metal window screens.

  19. flange says

    “…whilst getting X-Rayed” At least this might not be from the US. Are they this stupid in the UK too?

  20. Ichthyic says

    I don’t know how you guys can laugh at this crap. This insanity stopped being funny for me after Il Douche was elected.

    For me, I stopped laughing when W was first elected. I ran when he was reelected. I have looked on in horror ever since, as the stupid has metastasized and spread like cancer. Here, the cancer is small, and still under control, though now even having been associated with the US 13 years ago causes people to give me the side eye after Cheeto Mussolini. I am mere weeks away from finally getting permanent citizenship and washing my hands of the US forever.

    You all should be looking at the recommendations for neighborhood organization and support that Abe Drayton posts. It is the only thing that will save you in the long term.

  21. says

    One wonders if these loons have compared the purported radiation-absorbing properties of the various replacements for “lead in paint”.

    Oops. I guess not — that would be actually doing research. (Hint: In the thickness and concentration of picket-fence-white paint, titanium dioxide is at least as good at “absorbing radiation” at the wavelengths used to send secret government control signals broadcast right-wing talk radio shows as is lead oxide.)

  22. dorght says

    I remember as a kid around 1970 getting to go play on the lead mine tailing piles here in Missouri. What could be more fun then climbing to the top than and running down until you wiped out and continued down in a spray of sand. Meanwhile dirt bikes and dune buggies are spraying sand and dust everywhere. Somehow those same piles became EPA superfund hazardous waste sites. Oh, for the simple days of yore when you could just poison yourself under the watchful eyes of your clueless parents and not have the government involved. Not sure why they drove us hours away to that tailings place in the bed of a pickup, the West Lake landfill nuclear dump site was only 10 miles from our house.

  23. Snarki, child of Loki says

    I guess now they’re going to discover that TIN FOIL, the kind with actual TIN, has been removed from supermarkets to allow better electromagnetic brainwashing.

    Quietly, insidiously, Aluminium foil (which CONCENTRATES the brainwashing waves) was used to replace the tin foil, having people even CALL it ‘tin foil’ just to maintain the fraud.

    Wake up, Sn-eeple!

  24. flange says

    @dorght #27
    If you were driven for hours in the bed of a pickup, without seat belts, lead poisoning would have been the least of your problems.

  25. bcw bcw says

    It all started downhill when they stopped us from curing our beaver hats in mercury to get that extra protection from the brain waves Tesla was beaming from the evil empire of France!

  26. Rich Woods says

    @René #15:

    I had a Danish friend who told me that my pronunciation of the name of his home town improved significantly when I had a sore throat. And that observation came during an evening when we were both comfortably drunk: I perhaps should have tried getting him to speak Welsh.

  27. says

    @René #15

    For me as a Dutchman, Danish is in the uncanny valley of languages. Sometimes very familiar, sometimes weirdly different. The same could be said for Frisian. And the other way around, I suppose. :-)

  28. expatlurker says

    They LIED to us about the vaccination! I was led to believe I would get great 5G reception and magnetic powers. None of this happened. After five months, I bet I don’t even have any nanobots any more.

  29. birgerjohansson says

    Nemo @ 11
    No, that was a deal between the cancer guy of the X file and the aliens.
    BTW Cheeto Mussolini does not have the taste for neoclassical architecture of the original one. It would be more accurate to call him a dumber Victor Orban. None of them would even bother with building autostradas, they just stuff money in their coffers.

  30. davidc1 says

    @24 I hope you didn’t run to The UK ,that twat faced twat johnson gave ,a speech (hahahahahahahahaha) to the CBI yesterday .
    I regret not marrying a nice girl from New Zealand when I had a chance .

  31. davidc1 says

    The best bit is when he gets his notes in a muddle ,there is a 20 second period of his struggling to ,well feck knows what he is trying to do ,he goes off on a tangent about Peppa Pig ,also he does car impressions .
    If he wasn’t such a disgusting Human being ,I might just might feel sorry for him .