1. UnknownEric the Apostate says

    There once was a man in Morris / err, something something porous?

    I’m no poet.

  2. Cutty Snark says

    Well, I’ll have a go (and I hope this isn’t too offensive – please do delete if it crosses the line from gentle fun):

    A Professor from Morris declared with some grace,
    “What I seek is a squid’s embrace –
    for a chitinous beak
    must be ecstasy’s peak,
    and enveloped in tentacles is my safe space!”

  3. says

    O boy!
    I “ran” a poetry slam for 2 years!
    I never could get the hang of battling.
    I never got those “Your mother is SO ____!!!” type battles either.
    Mazel Tov to those that can.
    I just don’t understand the point of being intentionally mean.

  4. birgerjohansson says

    I recognise Tom Gauld from his one-panel cartoons in New Scientist. He is consistently good, rather like SMBC and xkcd, but with a different sense of humor.

  5. imback says

    Do not reveal you’re one bad poet
    If there’s doubt do not remove it
    If you write it they will know it
    If you post it that will prove it

  6. pilgham says

    This looks like “The Last Word”, a pretty fun game on Steam that my daughter bought for me.


    Unique battle system! Fight with the subtle nuances of conversation.
    Engaging storytelling! Get whisked away by a narrative brimming with character! And fun!
    Key Topic System! Gather gossip to unlock more… gossip!
    Vocal SFX! Each character has their own awe-inducing sound. Listen to the quality of that throat clearing!
    Bow Ties! Learn skills and equip them using snazzy Bow Tie Points!

    It really exists.

  7. davidc1 says

    Down from the north came one-eyed Mick
    The only man alive with a corkscrew ,,,,
    No that’s too rude .
    There once was a man from Belgrade
    Who kept a dead ,,.
    No that’s even ruder .

    I am all out of rhymes
    Blame it on the boogie ,
    or even on the times .
    Can’t seem to scan .
    Like A E Houseman can .
    And as for Yeats ,
    I am not up to his feats .

  8. billseymour says

    Cutty Snark @4:

    (though surely iambic pentameter would be the most suitable scheme for salaciousness?)

    When engaging with bloggers it’s best
    To keep peevishness close to one’s vest;
    Yet to risk being rude,
    I’m compelled to include
    A degenerate anapest.

  9. Cutty Snark says

    billseymour @ 16


    Though I hope I’ve not acted peeved
    your wisdom is kindly received;
    so perhaps I’d best cease lest I
    make an assonance of my-
    self and leave feeling grieved!