I have been sent an attempt to unify my two obsessions: an octopus is just a wet spider
.
No. No. NO. I was surprised at how strongly my brain rejected this proposition — my first reaction was to want to scream at the screen, that this is not correct, don’t you know anything about arachnids and cephalopods, my god, you fool, I need to set everything on fire, this is going to simmer in my brain like acid, aaaargh, do I have to write a whole book on this ridiculous idea, how dare you, now I’m going to have counter-arguments reverberating through my skull for at least a week!
It was objectively interesting how being close to something can trigger such a strong reaction to counter-factual nonsense. Sure, you can tell me that baseball is just football with sticks, and I’ll chuckle and move on and forget about it in minutes, but an inappropriate comparison of my two totally independent, incomparable, glorious organisms feels like you just stuck a hand-grenade in my eye socket. I am totally discombobulated.
I’m better now, though. I’ve calmed down. Just don’t say that phrase to me ever again, I might cry.
A spider is just a hairy octopus?
Otters are just wet cats.
Eight. Same.
Eye count is different!
So is it better to think of spiders as encrusted octopuses?
“Sure, you can tell me that baseball is just football with sticks…”
Naw, more like a snake and the worm are the same, the worm is only a bit damper.
Vertebrae are only an option for any species…
Or something.
Back to the original, poppycock! After all, cephalopods taste better than arachnids. ;)
A spider is just a dry octopus.
(except for diving bell spiders; those are just small octopuses)
SPIDERS DON’T HAVE SUCTION CUPS!!!! OR BEAKS!!! (Typing in all caps so you’ll know how serious I am.)
“The floppy, floppy spider of the sea.”
Everyone knows spiders and octopuses are mortal enemies as portrayed by Tobey Maguire and Alfred Molina in that documentary by Sam Raimi.
Also, octopuses wish they could shoot strings out of their butts like spiders.
#10 Octopuses have butts? COOL!
Is this where I bring up the aquatic ape “hypothesis.?”
Humans are wet monkeys……moistened bints…watery tarts…
light fuse and retire immediately.
This is how you end up with things like Sharktopus.
Obviously wrong the octopus has arms while the spider has legs, the octopus has a beak while the spider has pedipalps, the octopus is PZ’s nightmare form while the spider is his minions’ form.
Obviously two different things.
Ok, how do octopuseseses excrete?
Don’t cross the streams? That Rubicon has been crossed.