Warning! Pure Farmland Plant-Based Burger Patties!


As a vegetarian, we’re always on the lookout for new alternatives for the menu. We’ve been mostly happy with an occasional “Beyond Meat” burger — except for the expense and the excessive packaging — so when our local grocery store started stocking this other meat alternative, we thought we’d give it a try. Slightly cheaper, 4 patties to a package, so slightly less packaging, it seemed like a good deal. It’s called Pure Farmland Plant-Based Burger Patties.

I have learned to appreciate the hard work that had to go into producing “Beyond Meat” burgers, because everything about these was off. Right away, as I was cooking them on a medium low heat, they were oozing this brownish oil that sizzled and smelled nasty. I had my doubts right away. I cooked them thoroughly and served ’em up, and noticed another phenomenon…they were orange. They didn’t taste as bad as they smelled, but still, there was a peculiar after-taste.

It looks like someone rushed a product to market after noticing the popularity of the genre, and didn’t quite put the work in to master flavor, texture, and color. It probably won’t kill me, but I probably won’t buy them ever again, either.

In case you’re interested in trying them, not recommended unless you really like the flavor of burning petroleum by-products.

Comments

  1. says

    Bummer. My spouse and I have been trying to go vegan for a while, but it’s really difficult with some of our medical dietary restrictions and living in rural Japan. I’m really hoping that good meat alternative products will make the transition easier as they become more popular but sounds like this on ain’t it.

  2. says

    I’ve actually been using Lightlife rather than Beyond. It comes in ground form, which is how I want it, since I’m not making burgers. I like it, but it is definitely less like beef.

  3. hemidactylus says

    I’m not strict vegan so will eat a roast beef or ham sandwich, salmon or shrimp once in a while, but back when I ate them the Boca burgers were OK. Haven’t tried Impossible yet. If I feel I’ve had a good stretch of veggie consumption a real burger or steak isn’t out of the question. But I’m ok with minimizing animal based food. Haven’t had wings for months. My main emphasis now is primary veggie diet and fiber. Amy’s spicy chili is da bomb in multiple ways. Fiber does stuff in the end. I added some Smart Balance after cooking for a little more tasty fat. And habanero. Usually my dinners are Florida avocado half and potato and add artichoke hearts, kimchi, and/or olives (garlic stuffed). I have rationalized beer as a grain sourced veggie drink. V8 low sodium is better and has…fiber. My beef with most supermarket veggie drinks next to the kombucha sewage crap (yuck) is they are loaded with sugar. No way! I do drink the bitter celery stuff when on sale.

    Breakfast is oatmeal w/soymilk flavored with blueberry syrup or honey then after a long walk a fatty hashbrown and egg white. My diet isn’t perfect but I haven’t the discipline nor inclination to entirely eliminate animal sourcing. And the keto people can go eat a potato. Seriously. Potatoes and apples have fiber with their evil carbs.

    My fiber thing is a thumb in the eye at constipated Jordan. I think of him on a regular basis. Fiber is way too much fun to avoid.

  4. Susan Montgomery says

    “not recommended unless you really like the flavor of burning petroleum by-products.”

    White Castle does alright with that demgraphic.

  5. Ridana says

    Does anyone remember Worthington Foods’ Grainburger? It was an early soy ground-beef-like product, sold dehydrated in a half-gallon milk-carton sort of container. They looked a lot like Grape Nuts, but rubbery instead of crunchy. We affectionately called it Gainesburgers, after the dog food patties.

    When I was camping in Africa, we used it in “spaghetti sauce” made from Lipton tomato soup mix and maybe some oregano?, and in a prime example of “everything tastes better when camping,” x “hunger is the best spice,” we thought it was delicious. I tried to replicate it once I got home and it was every bit as appalling as you are thinking. Gainesburgers probably tasted better. :D

  6. hemidactylus says

    @7- Ridana
    In the late 70s my dad got into vegetarianism in a huge way and pulled me in because he was dad. We attended classes at a 7th Day Adventist church. I recall not liking the soy milk then. There was an attempt at meat back then my dad derisively called kitty litter. Not sure if it was what you are talking about.

    In retrospect the veggie thing was preferable to dad’s Rush Limbaugh thing a decade later.

    I was eating facon for a while in recent years. It wasn’t bad as taste goes but I can’t imagine any huge nutritional benefits from that or soy breakfast sausage. My consumption of veggies now is mostly qua veggies. PZ’s recent post on Brussels sprouts is a case in point. I’m a sucker for any olives that aren’t the stereotypical pimento fare.

  7. Akira MacKenzie says

    Speaking as a dedicated omnivore who doesn’t buy the non-human-animal-rights argument against consuming meat and other animal-based products*, would you eat or use animal byproducts if they found a way to clone or ”print” such tissues without harming an actual animal?

    I’d take PETA a little more seriously if they were out on the African savannah convincing lion prides to go vegan… Well actually I’d be more amused because real-life lions would ignore the concept of ”animal rights” as they tore the hippie-dippie scum to shreds to feed themselves. The universe doesn’t give a shit about ”rights, ” human, animal, or otherwise.

  8. hemidactylus says

    @9- Akira
    I can’t make an argument for not eating meat based on rights without hypocrisy, but I don’t think dropping down to lions’ obligate carnivore proclivities or the callous amoral nature of the universe is the space within which to drive a persuasive argument either.

  9. hemidactylus says

    To expand I don’t know the human sourcing of my veggies. Adam Ruins Everything dissed pork products then excoriated avocados because the connection to Mexican drug cartels.

    https://youtu.be/_acEd2JZBhI

    Coffee may have human costs. Yet animal experimentation has some awkward but salient medical benefits.

  10. MattP (must mock his crappy brain) says

    I’m a fan of pretty much everything Morningstar Farms makes. Just had a black-bean burger with colby-jack cheese and a side of rice for dinner. The pizza burgers are quite tasty on soft fluffy bread (e.g., Sara Lee Artesano), but their corn dogs are ridiculously addictive.

  11. davidnangle says

    Yeah, pretending it’s something it isn’t is probably not a wise move. For me, and I have no vegetarian plan so far, fried tofu with a good marinade is better than all but the best meat.

  12. lochaber says

    that reminds me, I should go out looking for tofurkeys…

    not vegetarian or anything, I just like tofurkey

  13. Thornae says

    One of my kids has decided to be vegetarian, so I’ve been experimenting with the various options available for Friday Burger Night – here’s the verdict so far.

    Various not-trying-to-be-meat burgers: “Too spicy!” or “I don’t like beans.” (I am doing my best to explain that being vegetarian is going to be a whole lot harder with an aversion to spice…)

    Meatless Farm Company Meat Free Burger: Odd smelling, still not great when cooked. Bland, mealy. Kid verdict, after one bite: “I don’t really like this.”
    (I’ve seen mostly great reviews for these, so I’m tempted to try again and see if I got a dud pack, or messed up the cooking method.)

    Co-op Incredible Burgers: Somewhat better than the above, but still not wonderful. A lot of oil, not great for frying. Kid verdict, after about a quarter of the burger: “I don’t want any more of this.”

    Beyond Burgers (recent UK arrival): Not bad. Smelled pretty offputting when being cooked, but the end result was acceptable. Kid verdict: “They’re okay if you can’t get the ones I like.”

    Linda McCartney’s Vegetarian Mozzarella 1/4lb Burgers (i.e. kid’s – and my – favourite): Doesn’t taste that much like meat, but somehow the combo of mozarella chunks and chickpea base make it a very satisfying texture, with enough flavour to make it feel like a proper burger. Kid verdict: “Have you got the mozarella burgers for Burger Night?” (Yes) “Yes!”

    I just checked though, and I’m afraid they’re not available in the US.
    Perhaps we can arrange a Cross-Pacific Trade deal for mutual benefit, exchanging these for Martin’s Potato Rolls…

  14. captainjack says

    @6&7
    I drove a cab second shift in the ’70s when I was going to Ohio State and there was a White Castle on the way home in Short North. A sack of sliders at 1 AM was a treat. I don’t know how they would taste now, but there aren’t any around where I live now so I’m not likely to find out. (I sometimes see them in the frozen food section, which is really unappealing.) Even if they were available here, I’d rather remember what it was like hurrying home while they were still hot so my girlfriend and I could scarf them before bed. Made for some great greasy snoggs.

  15. Kagehi says

    Waiting for Red Robin to sell, like they do their fries, the “impossible burger” as something you can get in a grocer. Problem is, its GMO, so.. some insane percentage of “vegan” probably are scared to death of it. But, it takes things a step further and asks, “What is missing?” The answer seemed to be, “The Heme gene, which is what makes all that meat stuff actually taste like meat.” I honestly can’t tell the difference between one of their impossible burgers, in terms of taste, when I once in a while get one, and the regular beef ones I used to buy from the same place.

  16. jrkrideau says

    @ 13 chigau

    I do not grok the whole fake-burger thing. Just have some falafel.

    Same here. I seldom eat a beef burger,( maybe once a year?) so why a fake one?

    Have a look at many Indian cuisines, large parts of Middle Eastern and Chinese cuisines for a lot of exciting recipies.

    A couple I just grabbed; Bati Mushrooms in a Garlic Sauce, Chunky Vegetable Chile with Dark Chocolate, Fool Medames, Hummus, Spinach in ginger Sauce, Fish-fragrant Aubergines (vegetarian despite the name), Samosas, Ratatouille niçoise and so on.

    One drawback for PZ in trying some of these cuisines would be finding some of the ingredients in Morris.

  17. Susan Montgomery says

    @18 Well, I guess it’s a matter of personal preference. As much as I like to laugh at Arby’s jokes, they’re still one of my faves. At first, White Castle was okay. I tried them in 1990 and they were…okay. Better than Roy Rogers but not quite as good as the then-recently defunct Gino’s. The last time I tried WC was in 99 and it was just awful. As an unrepentant carnivore I’m not sure about getting into the Nearburger thing.

  18. says

    I’ve tried Beyond Meat burger on a lark because someone else was paying. It was Ok. The texture was good, but definitely had “not-beef” flavor that REALLY lingered. I mean, I could taste that thing for HOURs after eating it. I’d like to try an Impossible burger as a contrast, but just haven’t gotten around to it. Maybe I’ll stop a BK over the holiday vacation.

  19. JustaTech says

    So far I’ve had an Impossible burger at a restaurant (good if over-cooked) and a Beyond burger at home (fine, but it’s not like you could taste it under all the toppings) and some Beyond “ground beef” that I made into tacos that was … not nice to cook at all and had a weird flavor even with all the taco seasonings.

    I like the idea of more meat-like plant-based foods, and honestly I think putting them in fast food is freaking brilliant. I also don’t think any of them are directed at long-term vegetarians or vegans but more at people who are currently omnivorous and trying to cut back. (Which is at bit of what I’m doing.) I’ll keep giving them a try, but honestly if I’m going to make no-meat tacos I’ll just use beans. That stuff was weird.

  20. schweinhundt says

    @8 While I think White Castle burgers taste fine, I understand how eating them can result in burning petroleum by-products.

  21. blf says

    I’m loosely in the falafel camp…
    The mildly deranged penguin is very very not in the dairy free cheddar alternative camp. So much so that she is currently warbling that nuking that camp from orbit may not be sufficient to… well, something. At this point she’s gone so incoherent she’s jumping up and down on the floor, instead of, for instance, the wall. Spiders are probably not involving, but may contain nuts.

  22. kayden says

    I try to make my own vegan burgers. There are loads of recipes on YouTube or Pinterest. Of course, you need time to make your own burgers but at least you know what’s in them and can tweak the recipe to suit your preferences.

  23. Diego Zumbana says

    I had to login to comment that this meat is surprisingly delicious and I was beyond skeptical…. I believe this review was written by a competitor… Also I didn’t try any other fake meat to compare it to.. I found this post when my husband cooked us up and I noticed it was still pink and I had to comment..