The world is ending


Coke Zero is being discontinued. Hot on the heels of this pronouncement that Like it or not, life is all about successful reproduction and nothing else really matters, I’ve lost all reason to live.

Comments

  1. brett says

    That article is great, even amidst being bummed that Coke Zero is getting phased out:

    Diet Dr. Pepper manages to combine 23 distinct flavors in a way that destroys every single one.

  2. emergence says

    Nice, they’re going to stop making my favorite diet soda. I really hope Coke realizes this is a big mistake when/if Coke Zero’s replacement doesn’t sell as well.

  3. says

    Wait, people actually drink Coke Zero? I thought that stuff was mislabeled drain cleanser or something. There’s no way it was actually meant for human consumption, not with that metallic overtone — it’s like somebody heard the old saw about dissolving stuff in cola, actually tried it with Diet Coke and a package of roofing nails, and then recarbonated the result and bottled it. But you say you were actually drinking the stuff? Really? And nobody was paying you for this?

    Huh. You learn something new every day. Why, next people will be telling me that they actually eat Dolly Madison products.

  4. Alt-X says

    Yeah they’ve been testing their new drink out here in Australia, called Coke No Sugar. I believe in the US its gonna be called Zero No Sugar. Honestly, it tastes better than Zero (less aftertaste). As a Zero only drinker, I recommend you give it a shot. No I don’t work for Coke :P

  5. steve1 says

    Coke Zero used to be my go to beverage until my colon doctor said no more carbonated drinks. I still occasionally drink one because I hate my colon.

  6. blf says

    Wait, people actually drink Coke Zero? I thought that stuff was mislabeled drain cleanser or something.

    Apparently. I’ve even overheard people ordering it to drink(I presume) in restaurants. Here. In France.

    If it was drain cleanser it might actually be useful, albeit probably then immediately banned for causing the sewers to leap out of the ground and run away screaming.

    (Apparently the stuff here in France (also some other parts of the world) already is the new, but not yet banned, sewer-scaring monster.)

  7. Doubting Thomas says

    I believe I read somewhere that Coke Zero was just Diet Coke with a black label intended to appeal to men who thought “diet” sodas were for women.

  8. Andrew Watts says

    #7 @Doubting Thomas: Coke Zero is based on the original Coke formula but with aspartame and Diet Coke is based on the New Coke formula but with aspartame. Or at least so sayeth John Scalzi, who drinks Coke Zero like crazy. He’s also cautiously optimistic about Coke Zero Sugar. I can’t stand the taste of any of the artificial sweeteners myself, so I’ll leave that to him.

  9. rietpluim says

    Remember when they changed the formula of plain Coke and renamed the original to Coke Classic?

    Boy, I thought World War III was upcoming.

  10. lumipuna says

    I believe I read somewhere that Coke Zero was just Diet Coke with a black label intended to appeal to men who thought “diet” sodas were for women.

    I heard this too, back when Coke Zero was launched. (I was very young then and have never been into soda.) I thought it wouldn’t fly, because why would Diet Coke be associated with femininity, if not for the very principle of healthiness?

    OK, so apparently many people found it better tasting AND maybe gendered marketing also works, who knows.

  11. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    I am a relentless drinker of tea. If you buy loose leaf tea and not tea bags (or, worse, tea from a restaurant/coffee shop), then even tea that is quite expensive compared to other teas is cheaper than a carbonated beverage and incredibly tasty to boot.

    I highly recommend The Tao of Tea and Jasmine Pearl Tea Merchant – both in Portland, Oregon. I actually visited The Tao of Tea on its opening day. They timed their opening with a street fair on Belmont, I had seen the “coming soon” signs and so stopped in. It’s marvelous, and I’ve been back many, many times since.

    As for CZ, my partner drinks that stuff like a marathoner drinks water. Not my thing, but the cancellation does have personal relevance, I suppose. On the positive side, she’s told herself she wants to quit drinking CZ many times. I suppose she can take this as simply a positive opportunity.

    Finally, in regards to Anonymouslurker, I’ve placed my opinion in the original thread. Spoiler alert: it’s not exactly positive.

  12. blf says

    worse, tea from a restaurant/coffee shop

    Depends on where you are. In the States, I concur, with perhaps the exception of specialist shops, avoid such teas. Doesn’t exactly apply in at least some parts of France; e.g., just a few minutes walk from me are two brilliant salons de thé (almost next door to each other!), one of which also sells loose tea.

  13. Zeppelin says

    Now I don’t drink soda very often, but for what it’s worth: I didn’t even notice they’d changed the recipe between Coke Zero and Coke Zero Sugar when they switched here in Germany. I thought they’d just redesigned the label. You still get that weird artificial sweetener aftertaste in your throat and everything.

  14. Nemo says

    They’re just replacing it with renaming it to “Coke Zero Sugar”, which will still have zero calories, and full caffeine. It’s not clear what the difference will be, if any. The way they’re announcing it as “discontinuing Coke Zero” kinda seems like a publicity stunt.

  15. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    @blf, #15:

    Ooops. I miscommunicated. When I said,

    If you buy loose leaf tea and not tea bags (or, worse, tea from a restaurant/coffee shop), then even tea that is quite expensive compared to other teas is cheaper than a carbonated beverage

    I meant that tea from a restaurant/coffee shop is going to be even more expensive than tea bags, and certainly more expensive than carbonated beverages, even carbonated beverages that also come from a restaurant.

    But of course, tea bags and most restaurant tea (which typically comes in the form of a tea bag + water) also suffer a significant quality problem. Nonetheless, there are decent salons de thé in Portland, and Tao of Tea itself runs “tea rooms” that will serve you tea made from their own selection of loose leaf teas. Those teas are as brilliant from the tea rooms as they are made at home. In fact, making powdered jade is a particular skill, and I only ever drink matcha in speciality tea houses/ salons de thé (as my skill in making it is less than the tea deserves).

    There are even more tea rooms/ tea houses/ salons de thé of acceptable quality in southwest British Columbia, but I’ve yet to find one with quite so sublime a selection as Portland’s Tao of Tea. I’ve heard that in New Westminster (so named b/c it was the original capital of British Columbia) there’s a staggeringly good Chinese tea room that looks over the business district all the way down to the river. The selection is almost entirely limited to Chinese teas, I’m told, but the quality is supposed to be outstanding and the oolong selection particularly diverse. I’ll get there someday I’m sure. It’s not even that far from Vancouver, but when I am out that way, I never seem to be with people who want to stop for tea.

    Maybe when I’m rich and famous I’ll buy Caine a ticket up here and take her out to tea.

  16. consciousness razor says

    I meant that tea from a restaurant/coffee shop is going to be even more expensive than tea bags, and certainly more expensive than carbonated beverages, even carbonated beverages that also come from a restaurant.

    Most of the restaurants I’ve ever visited sell tea for the same price as all of their other “soft drinks.” Sometimes I feel like I shouldn’t choose tea, even though it sounds nice, because I know its price ought to be lower than the other options. I feel like I should get whatever will cost the restaurant the most, if I’m going to pay that price either way. If I can convince myself to order what I apparently want, instead of trying to get a good deal, I’ll do that. But there’s no time — the waiter/waitress and co. are staring at me. I often order water instead, which I guess could be what I wanted sometimes, since I do like water.

  17. says

    I loved Coke Zero when I first came across it in the USA around 2005. I loved it here in the UK. The UK now has Zero Sugar Coca-Cola, and I really can’t taste any difference between the old and new.

    Re: Diet Coke and “New Coke”. Diet Coke came out almost three years before “New Coke”, so Diet Coke is NOT based on “New Coke”. Diet Coke was deliberately formulated to be much sweeter than Coca-Cola. Its success is probably what lead to “New Coke” being released.

    Coke Zero is NOT just Diet Coke in a black can with a new name. It was designed to taste as much like Coca-Cola as possible. Zero Sugar Coca-Cola is just a slightly better version of Coke Zero (IMO), even closer to Coca-Cola.

  18. blf says

    Crip Dyke@22, Yeah, I understood you to be talking about quality of the tea, rather than as a price comparison to drain cleansers. Thanks for clarifying your point.

    Your clarification also brings up another reason to avoid restaurant teas in the States (unless things have changed, which I doubt): Selection. It’s usually just called “tea”, meaning a typically anonymous black tea, and the table staff have no idea what variety. Some places at least have a selection of bags from which you can choose — the bar just down the street from me does that, but this being France, it’s fairly decent well-packaged organic teas.

      ─────────────────────────

    there’s no time — the waiter/waitress and co. are staring at me.

    Un moment s’il vous plaît, madame / monsieur.

  19. Saganite, a haunter of demons says

    Oh, good, seems that it’s only going away in the US. I really enjoy it because it’s rather more bitter than other types of Cola.

  20. says

    They’ve been transitioning to the Coke Zero Sugar branding in Canada over the last few months, but if there’s any change in the flavour I haven’t noticed it.

  21. says

    Lucky thing I’ve never developed a taste for Croak. Giving good money to bad corporations has never seemed like a good idea to me. My favourite drink is rain water with just a hint of dissolved gum leaves and fortunately we have 22,000 gallons of the stuff available.

  22. Walter says

    That’s interesting, I always assumed they’d changed the recipe in the States before it was introduced here in Europe (Germany, specifically). Well, I for one am a happy guinea pig: the taste really did improve! Also all the mind control substances in it seem to be working just fine;)
    Fret not my American brothers&sisters, ruining your health will soon leave a slightly less stale taste in your mouthes!

  23. says

    I just wish all these cola makers would switch to Erythritol as the sweetener for their diet versions. Very low calorie, and for me has the same mouthfeel as real sugar (unlike aspartame – which I love but not for pop). Also causes no bowel issues, unlike another sugar alcohol, Maltitol.

  24. Callinectes says

    I’ve always stuck by Pepsi Max, though Coke Zero has been an acceptable alternative when the store price offers swing the other way.
    Though this is in the UK, we might have already made that switch without my noticing.

  25. davidc1 says

    When i hear pop being referred to as Soda ,i always think of the stuff that burns ,don’t know why.

  26. OptimalCynic says

    I’m in Australia, and I’ve tried the new stuff. It’s frothier than Zero and it tastes like a flatter, watered down version. I don’t like it one bit. Give me back my Coke Zero!

    Fortunately I don’t mind Diet Coke either so I’ll switch to that if I have to.

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