Not even Gwyneth Paltrow believes in Goop


There was a Goop Summit in LA, where people paid $500-$1500 for the privilege of buying Goop merchandise and listening to goofy pseudoscientific quackery.

In the day’s first lecture, Sadeghi spoke for nearly 90 minutes about integrative photosynthesis, spiritual Wi-Fi, laterality to the body, neuro-vegetative signs and the ontological experience called your life.

He spoke of June 4, 1997, the day Paltrow first reached out, as the most important of his entire life, moreso than his marriage or the birth of his two children. He’s saved every email she ever sent him, and spent half an hour walking the audience through a detailed explanation of Paltrow’s first bloodwork, her then-recurrent urinary tract infections and an ovarian cyst that, he said, threatened to blow out her back. (One of the enduring mysteries of Paltrow’s success as a health and wellness guru is her endless stream of medical ailments.)

Sadeghi went off on some interesting tangents. What makes water wet? he asked, more than once. I nearly got a master’s in electric chemistry asking that question.

He stated that we still don’t know how birds fly, despite the Wright brothers inventing the airplane by observing birds in flight. I am probably one of the most authentic human beings you will ever meet, he said, a pronouncement usually reserved for anyone working a con.

The whole thing was oozing bullshit, but at least it was overpriced luxury bullshit.

What I found most interesting is that Gwyneth Paltrow did an interview on Jimmy Kimmel’s show, and it was incredibly revealing. She knows nothing about the stuff she sells! When asked about various items in the Goop catalog, all she provides is nervous laughter and embarrassed looks and denial.

It’s obvious that she is not a True Believer, so my impression of her intelligence grew a notch. Unfortunately, that means she’s a knowing con artist so my impression of her integrity and honest shrank two notches. I wonder what it’s like to be trapped in a lucrative job that you do not respect?

Actually, I also wonder what it would be like to be trapped in a lucrative job, period.

Comments

  1. says

    I always figured it was some marketing weasel went to her publicist and said, “here’s a business opportunity… all she has to do is be the ‘brand identity’ and occasionally promote it and we’ll all make $$”

  2. says

    It’s disappointing, actually. I’ve liked some of her acting work. But the same is true of a lot of people who turn out to be nutcases.

  3. Dunc says

    “Electric chemistry”? I guess he means electrochemistry, but if he nearly got a master’s in it, I’d expect him to get the name right…

  4. eamick says

    Dunc @3: It’s just as likely the reporter botched the quote. I rather doubt they sent a science reporter to this kind of event.

  5. says

    I can’t bring myself to watch the video. She looks awful, maybe that’s just the cringing though. Thing is, whether or not she’s a true believer doesn’t matter. She doesn’t care enough about the harm caused by her cash cow to stop doing it.

    And, while she might not know every thing covered under “goop”, she’s definitely got a circuit or three popped by the new age crap. Remember, she did all that “conscious uncoupling” shit instead of “divorcing”, then went on to babble about how they are still in each other’s lives, like Chris is at the house every day, and so on. As if that shit was remotely applicable to anyone else getting a divorce.

  6. says

    eamick:

    Dunc @3: It’s just as likely the reporter botched the quote.

    I don’t think so. I checked, every outlet which reported on it has ‘electric chemistry’, and Sadeghi is one of those that believes water has feelings and other special properties.

  7. Rich Woods says

    “I am probably one of the most authentic human beings you will ever meet,” he said, a pronouncement usually reserved for anyone working a con.

    I thought I recognised it from one of Trump’s speeches.

  8. pipefighter says

    @PZ I know what it’s like to be in a semi lucrative job in an industry you can’t stand with no way out. It fucking sucks. I’ve never made six figures mind you but still.

  9. some bastard on the internet says

    He spoke of June 4, 1997… as the most important of his entire life, moreso than his marriage

    “Gee, thanks hon… asshole.”

    or the birth of his two children.

    “Gee, thanks dad.”
    “Asshole.”

  10. gijoel says

    an ovarian cyst that, he said, threatened to blow out her back

    WTF??!!?? How is that even possible? You’d be feeling excruciating abdominal pain long before an ovarian cyst could blow your back out.

  11. says

    I always figured it was some marketing weasel went to her publicist and said, “here’s a business opportunity… all she has to do is be the ‘brand identity’ and occasionally promote it and we’ll all make $$”

    Worked for Donald Trump. That’s been his entire business model for the past 20+ years.

  12. ebotebo says

    Speaking of donnelda juanita tRump, how in the name of jeeeebis can this phuque say he “owns” or “sits on the board” of 524 companies (or whatever ridiculous number he gives). Eh??

  13. Dunc says

    Speaking of donnelda juanita tRump, how in the name of jeeeebis can this phuque say he “owns” or “sits on the board” of 524 companies (or whatever ridiculous number he gives). Eh??

    Neither owning nor sitting on the board of a company necessarily entail actually doing anything. There’s no guarantee that the companies actually do anything either – plenty of corporate ownership arrangements involve lots of nested shell companies, most of which don’t actually do anything other than obfuscate who owns what for tax purposes. It’s a bit of a giveaway to boast about this sort of thing – I guess it’s supposed to sound impressive, but in reality, it basically means “I’m shady as fuck”.

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