OK, that is hands down the funniest thing I’ve read all year.
microraptorsays
This reminds me of the story about how a former coworker at a previous job became acquainted with hentai.
This was back in the 90s, before anime got popular in the US. It was his 6 year old son’s birthday, and he was given the job of getting a movie for the birthday party. So he went to the local video store (remember those?) and grabbed a VHS cassette without bothering to check it. It’s animated, so it’s for kids, right?
So fast forward to that night, and the kids are all in the living room gathered around the TV. He pops the video into the player and leaves the room. Some time later, Mom enters the room, apparently right around the time a lesbian scene was starting. Now, all the kids were too young to understand what was going on, but that was the last time Coworker ever rented a video without making sure he knew what it was.
HappyHeadsays
@microraptor:
The move to modern video stores and DVDs/BlueRays hasn’t fixed that problem. I was looking over the children’s videos available at a local major tech/media store (which has since closed down… wonder why?) and it went “The Little Mermaid”, “Shrek”, “Urotsukidoji”… the first staff member I pointed it out to refused to believe that anything animated wasn’t for kids. Fortunately the manager understood the meaning of “right next to a megachurch that likes to protest/sue things, and a lawsuit waiting to happen”.
laurentweppesays
Following blog-post: “How can you protect a brain by destroying it?”
You did that on purpose didn’t you?
A Masked Avengersays
Heh. Brings back memories of teaching math. Running gags made test-writing way more enjoyable. Except that I’d be afraid (20 years ago exactly, this was) to get even a little risqué.
One meta-gag I recall was to use unpronounceable names for the characters in word problems. The students most concerned with figuring out how to pronounce the names were also the least likely to understand the subject. If they came up and asked what a “Wichipissakian” was, I would helpfully tell them that it’s pronounced “Frenchman.”
Am I the only one who was disturbed that most of the questions were answerable due to information that was left out?
Take question 2 for example. The question is whether or not the tentacles will be able to reach Fumiko, but the question doesn’t state how far away from Fumiko the tentacles are.
Frankly, I don’t think Steve was a very good teacher even before his wife left him, if that’s the caliber of question he comes up with.
joelsays
sotonohito #6: Yah, I noticed the same thing. Steve was a bad physics teacher – no wonder he got distracted by nasty weird porn.
bargearsesays
Erlend Meyer
OK, that is hands down the funniest thing I’ve read all year
Meh, it’s only the funniest thing I’ve read all month
I always found the “Not for kids” stickers a now defunct local video store put on some of their anime amusing. You’d think the covers of the La Blue Girl series, which featured the title character, Miko Mido, being menaced by phallic tentacles, would have been enough to warn that it wasn’t for kids. But better safe than sorry I guess.
andyosays
Blockbuster Online used to carry animated Japanese porn for a while, also probably confusing it with kids’ fare. I remember at least one angry review. I’m not sure, but IIRC Netflix did as well.
the first staff member I pointed it out to refused to believe that anything animated wasn’t for kids.
You mean you didn’t ask them to watch it and record their reactions and post it to the Clueless Video Store Clerks React to Tentacle Porn Youtube channel?
microraptorsays
Netflix carries a few erotic foreign films (mostly softcore, from what I can tell) and occasionally some ecchi anime titles as well, but I don’t know of it ever carries actual hardcore porn.
Al Dentesays
microraptor @11
Start writing a grant request for a study of that question.
biogeosays
Somehow I knew that was going to be McSweeney’s even before I clicked the link.
redwoodsays
Now I understand why my Japanese wife keeps asking me when we’re going to play “Hide the Tentacle.” I guess I’m luckier than poor Steve was.
Erlend Meyer says
OK, that is hands down the funniest thing I’ve read all year.
microraptor says
This reminds me of the story about how a former coworker at a previous job became acquainted with hentai.
This was back in the 90s, before anime got popular in the US. It was his 6 year old son’s birthday, and he was given the job of getting a movie for the birthday party. So he went to the local video store (remember those?) and grabbed a VHS cassette without bothering to check it. It’s animated, so it’s for kids, right?
So fast forward to that night, and the kids are all in the living room gathered around the TV. He pops the video into the player and leaves the room. Some time later, Mom enters the room, apparently right around the time a lesbian scene was starting. Now, all the kids were too young to understand what was going on, but that was the last time Coworker ever rented a video without making sure he knew what it was.
HappyHead says
@microraptor:
The move to modern video stores and DVDs/BlueRays hasn’t fixed that problem. I was looking over the children’s videos available at a local major tech/media store (which has since closed down… wonder why?) and it went “The Little Mermaid”, “Shrek”, “Urotsukidoji”… the first staff member I pointed it out to refused to believe that anything animated wasn’t for kids. Fortunately the manager understood the meaning of “right next to a megachurch that likes to protest/sue things, and a lawsuit waiting to happen”.
laurentweppe says
Following blog-post: “How can you protect a brain by destroying it?”
You did that on purpose didn’t you?
A Masked Avenger says
Heh. Brings back memories of teaching math. Running gags made test-writing way more enjoyable. Except that I’d be afraid (20 years ago exactly, this was) to get even a little risqué.
One meta-gag I recall was to use unpronounceable names for the characters in word problems. The students most concerned with figuring out how to pronounce the names were also the least likely to understand the subject. If they came up and asked what a “Wichipissakian” was, I would helpfully tell them that it’s pronounced “Frenchman.”
Good times.
sotonohito says
Am I the only one who was disturbed that most of the questions were answerable due to information that was left out?
Take question 2 for example. The question is whether or not the tentacles will be able to reach Fumiko, but the question doesn’t state how far away from Fumiko the tentacles are.
Frankly, I don’t think Steve was a very good teacher even before his wife left him, if that’s the caliber of question he comes up with.
joel says
sotonohito #6: Yah, I noticed the same thing. Steve was a bad physics teacher – no wonder he got distracted by nasty weird porn.
bargearse says
Erlend Meyer
Meh, it’s only the funniest thing I’ve read all month
timgueguen says
I always found the “Not for kids” stickers a now defunct local video store put on some of their anime amusing. You’d think the covers of the La Blue Girl series, which featured the title character, Miko Mido, being menaced by phallic tentacles, would have been enough to warn that it wasn’t for kids. But better safe than sorry I guess.
andyo says
Blockbuster Online used to carry animated Japanese porn for a while, also probably confusing it with kids’ fare. I remember at least one angry review. I’m not sure, but IIRC Netflix did as well.
You mean you didn’t ask them to watch it and record their reactions and post it to the Clueless Video Store Clerks React to Tentacle Porn Youtube channel?
microraptor says
Netflix carries a few erotic foreign films (mostly softcore, from what I can tell) and occasionally some ecchi anime titles as well, but I don’t know of it ever carries actual hardcore porn.
Al Dente says
microraptor @11
Start writing a grant request for a study of that question.
biogeo says
Somehow I knew that was going to be McSweeney’s even before I clicked the link.
redwood says
Now I understand why my Japanese wife keeps asking me when we’re going to play “Hide the Tentacle.” I guess I’m luckier than poor Steve was.