I’m looking for some commiseration here, people! Who else has an evil pet?
We’ve got this cat we adopted from the local humane society, who apparently had an extremely rough kittenhood. She was wild and suspicious when we got her, and only gradually calmed down…and now she’s very dependent on me and Mary. Especially now — we abandoned (not really, but she’s acting that way) her for a week while we went on vacation, and since we got back she’s constantly looking for affirmation that we won’t leave her ever again.
The flip side of that, though, is that she only tolerates us. She hates every other human being on earth. I took her in to the vet for booster shots — she was howling and growling and hissing and clawing, and it took three of us to hold her down. The vet suggested, since we keep her exclusively indoors, that maybe it would be OK to wait three years, instead of one, for her next round of boosters.
Then, today, we had a fellow come in to measure our windows for new blinds, and she was furious. Ears back, jaws open, snarling, she stalked him and lashed out viciously at his ankles, and then she clawed me when I grabbed her and locked her in a back bedroom. That’s the thing: she isn’t simply afraid of strangers, she doesn’t hide, she announces that she is going to kill the invader and rip his throat out if she can reach it. It’s getting so we can’t invite anyone over because of the psycho predator prowling around our house.
At least we don’t have to worry about burglars. I’m kind of afraid that if someone did try to burgle us, we’d come home to a shredded corpse with this cat lapping up the blood.
And now that the stranger is gone, she’s back to wanting to cuddle up in our laps. It’s a little creepy. I’m thinking, only if I’ve got a thick leather apron to wear.
Do I get the prize for the most wicked pet of them all?
By the way, she also doesn’t exactly have a name. She’s registered with the humane society as “Ivy”, but that doesn’t fit her at all, so we just call her “CAAAAAAT”. Mary sometimes calls her “Kitty”, but I think that’s just perverse.
I’m glad we’re not the only ones with a cat named Cat. The vet’s record says Tessa, but that didn’t stick, and neither did anything else we tried. I try to say it’s really Catherine and just Cat or Kitty for short, but we all know it’s just Cat.
Awww, PZ is becoming a cat person. Welcome to the feline-side.
I’m down to one cat after having to put one down a few weeks back after she began having blood discharge from her vagina. So my remaining cat get a *lot* of attention.
Just wait until she figures out that the tests/papers you are grading is interfering with her lap time….
Ten years ago I moved to a new town and was looking for a cheap apartment. Finally I found one with a good price. As I was finishing the tour, the landlord said, “Oh, yeah. It comes with this cat.” I looked down to see a lovely silver cat and said, “I’ll take it!”. Little did I know. Mama Cat, as she is now known, had kittens shortly after I moved in. She is a glass tipper too. Also, she bites people she doesn’t like. She moved out of the house 7 years ago when I got dogs (she was pissed- wouldn’t come out from under the garage for six or so months). Now, she shows up every night for dinner and bangs on the front door. Other than food, she wants nothing to do with me. I am her humble servant.
My initial guess is that her expression of anger actually is fear. I wonder if anything negative happened when a stranger was over or by a stranger.
I have a rescue dog. He’s about six years old and he lived in a california animal shelter for a while before being flown to canada to foster. fostering wasn’t steady for him. his original fostering family decided that he was sick and didn’t want him, and he went through two more families before I adopted him on the 1st of December.
He has bonded pretty thoroughly with me, but he gets anxious if I leave him alone. he’s shy around other people, who do all the wrong things in trying to get affection out of him, and he loves other dogs on sight. I hate leaving him. I just imagine that he’s terrified that I won’t come back and it bothers me the whole time i’m away.
Years ago we had the opposite in a cat. He was a feral kitten in the city but kept getting beat up and harassed by, well, everything. When the 95 year old neighbor with a 25 year old cat started going after him, we went over and rescued him. We named him “Grrr” so that when other cats asked him his name they would be afraid of him.
He grew into a huge Maine Coon and I don’t think he ever managed to growl or hiss and anything or anyone in his life. He trusted all visitors immediately.
As for evil pets, we had a squirrel (Samson, since we hoped he would survive and grow up big and strong when we first rescued him) who liked to be kind of evil. He would ambush people as they walked by, jumping on their heads from a high perch (like the refrigerator). When their hands went instinctively up to their face he would run down their arms to their elbows, then do a twist, hanging on upside down with all four feet, and drop off.
Over night and when we were out of the house we kept him in a huge bird cage with tree branches inside. Once he figured out how to get out on his own. When coming back home we found him and the cat both sleeping on the back porch couch, and paths of destruction all over the house.
Now I live way out in the boonies and just like watching all the outside animals, including neighborhood cats.
I won’t call him evil because it was all unintentional on his part but a few years ago we had a rescue German Shepard-Chow mix that weighed over 100lbs but had extreme fear-aggression problems. Fortunately we had/have enough property that he was able to live his life with no contact a all with people outside my wife and I. He would instantly go after anyone or anything he perceived as being on our territory.
Strangely enough he turned out to be very popular with the neighbors. They learned to very much enjoy playing with him as long as they stayed outside the fence. After we lost him, several people stopped by to ask about him.
I’m not sure any non-human animal can be truly evil but their points of view can be quite different from ours.
My cat looks like a clone of OZ’s cat in the above photo, her name is Minnie the Melanie and she was so named because she was the runt of the litter and regularly beatup her littermates. She is 14 and still smacks my hand if I don t share my chips , if I go out of town she sits on me and lectures me when I get home. The dog is terrified of her…
I adopted a cat who is sweet and adorable until you try to do something she doesn’t want to do, like go to the vet, give a pill, etc. Then she is absolutely terrifying. My vet loves her and is great with her. Hold out for a vet that is great with your vicious cat. Its worth it. Routine stuff is no problem – just 1 vet tech assisting with a towel. For more hands-on procedures, she gets light sedation and becomes totally compliant. I’d suggest a cat carrier that has both a front and top access door, and train your evil cat to chase a treat right into it.
For the attacking strangers problem, check out the ‘my cat from hell’ reality tv show. There are a lot of attack cat episodes. You are not alone. The forced reality tv drama format is annoying as hell, but I think the cat behavior and indoor environment advice are usually sound. After so many charismatic dog trainer shows, lots of people know basic dog behavior/training theory if not practice. Few seem familiar with strategies to affect your cat’s behavior. (Fair warning, Jackson Galaxy, the show’s expert, does peddle some woo outside of the show. )
Attack-cat advice on the show tends to go like this 1) make sure there’s no medical problem 2) understand your cat’s warning signs/body language & respect their space 3) take a look at your cat’s environment and make it more cat friendly 4) exercise/play with your cat 5) don’t freaking rough house with your cat as if he/she is a big dog 6) try additional bonding/mental stimulation like training your cat to do tricks or go for walks 7) get your cat to associate good things with having visitors over (treats).
Good luck!
In our childhood. we had a rabbit called Clarence. Clarence delighted in using his powerful back legs to rip open the bellies of anyone silly enough to try and hold him. The only way we would get to pet him was if our father held his feet tightly, always prepared for the convulsive flexing of his form.
Normally, when a pet rabbit is killed by your dog there is some sadness. In this case, however…
You should watch a few episodes of “cat whisperer” Jackson Galaxy and his show “My Cat From Hell” (Animal Planet). He bills himself as a cat behaviorist and actually seems to have a lot of success solving “hell cat” problems like yours. It usually seems to be problems with territoriality.
When we had to move back to MA from CA, we decided to spare our cat (Tommy) the trauma of moving, based on his experience when we moved him from MA to CA. A friend of ours agreed to adopt him. After a week with her, we came for a quick visit before leaving the state. He showed us how “abandoned” he felt by being quite spiteful. Repeatedly avoiding interacting with one of us in particular, the one who was the original advocate of sparing him the return trip. The “spiteful” behavior was basically the silent treatment, not the violent backlashes of some spiteful behavior.
It really changed my previous attitude of cats, that they are locked in the “now”, with little retention of past slights. Tommy showed that he assigned the blame for being left behind, to the instigator, with considerable foresight, as we hadn’t actually left the state yet.
Maybe I’m just projecting my guilty feelings onto his behavior, but it’s hard to see it as simple projection. It is hard to see his behavior as anything other than resentment about abandonment.
I don’t have a cat right now, but I volunteer at the local animal shelter as a feline socialist.
I go to the shelter and
teach the cats about alternatives to capitalist economiessocialize the cats by playing with them. I’m working on getting a place of my own, and I’ll probably adopt a cat if I’m successful.My cats have always been bonded to me but when I have to go for a few days my neighbors would watch them. They’d say after the first night I’m gone the cats are visibly depressed. Earlier this year my cat, Lena, was diagnosed with early kidney disease and needed half a pill a day. Things were OK the first few times I had to go. I told the neighbors not to worry too much if Lena doesn’t get her medicine. Then at the end of June I had to be gone for longer than usual. Turned out during that extra time I was gone, Lena bit my neighbor when she reached under the bed to pull her out to give her the medicine. She had to go to the hospital since the bite became infected. It was a huge mess. I can’t ask them to watch my cats again. I don’t know if I’d call this “evil” since she was scared (and anyone who owns a cat knows you NEVER reach under a bed to get a scared cat) but it did permanently alter my otherwise stellar relationship with my neighbors.
My cat, Tara, was originally supposed to be my son’s, but she very quickly decided that I was her human – her only human. She is so intensely jealous that when my wife talks to me while we’re on the couch, Tara sits between us and tries to block our eye contact. She has even bitten my wife for sitting on my lap.
In the last month or so, after many years of ignoring her completely, Tara’s started making up to my wife – meowing at her, pawing at her, begging to be petted. But it’s a trap. If my wife complies, in a minute or two, Tara will turn around, snarl, and bite.
Just a thought, but if the only post vacation incident was with the blind person, perhaps CAT smelled something disagreeable on that person. Maybe a strange cat or dog or something else associated with bad memories.
My youngest boy cat is evil. I found Hawthorn abandoned in the parking lot of a Petsmart, weak and flea anemic, approximately 10 weeks old. On the drive home he purred happily while my then-dog licked him. Three days later, when new red blood cells started hitting his system, I quickly found out why he had been abandoned, despite being a gorgeous fluffy brown-tabby-smoke maine coon-ish thingy. He was a complete asshole. He would solicit petting, but the moment you tried to pick him up he would wrap around your arm and dig in with all 18 claws and all his teeth. I took him home to try to tame him down for a while, and instead spent a couple months playing ‘demented whack-a-mole’ with him, as he’d hide under the couch and then leap out, and up, to bite you on the arm. When he was almost 5 months old it was pretty clear that either he come live with me, or he’d need to become a barn cat. I know better *now*, but 7 years ago? No, I felt *obligated*.
Over the years we developed a truce: I don’t touch him, he doesn’t randomly attack me. We have since managed to modify this into allowing for chin scritchies, which he deigns to feign enjoyment of.
Every so often, I decide to take my life in my hands… and *shave* Hawthorn. He looks beautiful in a lion cut, and as long as I scruff him he goes limp and doesn’t bite me. But he certainly doesn’t appreciate the act, even if he likes having short hair during summer.
A much younger Hawthorn during a break in the shaving: http://imageshack.com/a/img540/9822/iti60F.jpg
Expressing his opinion of my hack job: http://imageshack.com/a/img537/3465/ARMyXq.jpg
This is the face I will see before I die: http://imageshack.com/a/img912/5156/fwf9bB.jpg
ceesays@6:
We had a badly abused dog for many years; very gentle, but terrified of people, especially men. We’d had him a month before he would let me (male) let him out of the house.
What we found worked was putting him on tie-up. A short leash attached to the radiator, broke his fear-cycle. People would pet him, and he couldn’t run away. A couple of weeks of that (maybe especially when other people are coming over) might help your dog out.
My parents had a cat exactly like that for 15 years. They adored him.
eyesoars:
While that may have worked somehow for your dog, that is actually horrifically awful advice. A dog that feels cornered and that it cannot flee when afraid is actually quite likely to bite. This is why I absolutely do NOT force contact on my fearful dog. If people reach for her before she’s decided they’re okay, she growls at them. If I tried tying her, that would be a recipe for disaster and would rapidly undo the years of work I’ve put into her.
Do NOT entrap a fearful dog. Do NOT attempt to pet a fearful dog out of the blue or without some indication the dog is receptive.
My mom got a dog that had apparently been previously abused- she was very fearful, especially of men. We got her over it with lots of positive interactions. I’d sit with a dog treat in my hand at the other end of the room from her. Eventually, she’d feel secure enough to come over and get the treat from me. She was never trapped and interactions were always on her terms. Today, she’s a happy dog who gets along well with just about everyone (except stupid people who let their dogs run right up into her face).
When I go on travel, my pitbull-boxer mix won’t let me out of her sight for a good 2 days after I get back. And she insists on being petted, or at least having my hand on her even while I sleep. She’s too sweet for me to mind.
You are describing our late cat Mulder. The Countess got her from the ASPCA the day before she was due to be euthanized because she was a couple of years old and not exactly a warm and loving individual so no one wanted to adopt her. The best guess was she was a pet kitten who *may* have been abused and then certainly abandoned. When she first came home, she was the leanest, wiriest piece of taut cat muscle you could imagine. It took a few years but she chilled out, got fat and finally started trusting us. Took a lot of effort and attention.
She grew up to be lap fungus, but only with us. Hated every other living being in the house. At the time we had two Royal Spawns and about four other cats. She would park her then enormous girth, think of a huge, over inflated football with legs or maybe a carpet whale (both of which were her nicknames) on the back stairs and The Spawns would go all the way around to the front stairs to get to the second floor and their rooms which were right by the… wait for it… back stairs. She would do a similar thing to the other cats by occasionally blocking access to the food bowls. She also had the unique ability to eat and growl at the same time should an interloper dare try to partake from any of the food bowls while she was eating.
The funny thing is that one of the other cats, a very young kitten, took a shine to Mulder and followed her everywhere, right to the day Mulder took her last breath. Turned out that Mulder was an empty threat because although she growled and growled and growled, she never laid tooth or nail on the kitten. Naturally, we named that kitten Scully.
We miss her a lot. She went from pretty damn feral to a good companion animal.
A friend told me recently of someone who came home to find the head of their brand new, price pure-bred chihuahua on the kitchen floor. Yes, the cat had done it.
You may want to ask your vet if there is a cat behaviorist in town: such a person specializes in helping to figure out why your pet is acting out and works with you to change the situation. At the very least, watch a few episodes of My Cat From Hell on Animal Planet, it may help you identify areas that can be worked on.
My cat Hecubus is a jerk sometimes, but he could be and has been worse. We got him as a kitten so we could have the kitten experience at least once. I don’t recommend it. It’s a bad experience.
We got our cat, Fortran, from the Blue Cross. As part of the deal, they had her spayed. She managed to tear out her stitches before she’d even woken up from the anaesthetic. The woman from the Blue Cross shook her head and said “NOTHING surprises me about THAT cat.”
That was our first warning.
I commiserate. The only significant difference is that ours accepts -some- people other than us. The people he truly despises, he remembers, too. Every time they visit, they get the same treatment. He also gives absolutely no warning; Calm to KILL! in the blink of an eye.
He has a note in his file at the vet after he attacked her within their first 10 seconds of acquaintance his first visit. The last time we had to take him in, the vet-tech came in to burrito him in a towel first, while wearing dynema cut-proof padded gloves that covered halfway up her bicep. Our cat’s a menace.
Almost two years ago, we adopted a young male Red Oriental who had been kept in a cage with his three brothers his whole life, as a breeder. He’d recently been fixed and was no longer useful. He was fairly normal for three days and then, as I was petting him (he was on my lap–I had not hunted him down for pets), he bit my hand so hard, he was still dangling off me when I stood up. Terrified me. I told my gf to get rid of him. She refused.
Koba is now my snuggle bunny and sleeps with me every night. He follows me around like a puppy and I’ve trained him to communicate with his paws when he wants something (to be fed, to go to the banya, etc.). He is an awesome cat and I’m in love with this guy. But he hates everyone else and bites them. Even my gf. I can’t get him to like anyone else so I just warn people (especially children) not to try to touch him. That works.
C’mon, you’ve read Animal Farm so you should know. All cats are evil, but some cats are more evil than others.
Not anti-vax or anything, but I think the whole annual-vaccination thing is a scam by big-Vet.
Folks, this woman is a genius. Maybe the reasons for the thing she does are a little anthropomorphic, but she does them, and they work. http://www.wayofcats.com/blog/
Ivy? Poison Ivy?
Also, the Myers cat reminds me so much of an Asian black bear, also called “moon bear”: https://wellreadpanda.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/moon-bear-serious-face-300×267.jpg?w=676 If I was visiting their house, that moggie would think its name was Moon Bear. I could not resist.
She’s not just Ivy; she’s Poison Ivy!
Have a rescue German Shepherd, dumped on the street as a puppy, who shows considerable fear-aggression if people crowd her – so we tell people not to crowd her. She’s fine and trusting with us – handling, trimming her nails, picking her up, anything – but it took most of a lifetime for her to decide that one, just one of the neighbours counts as family.
We have never, ever encouraged territorial behaviour (and she is always muzzled when outside our garden) but she did (while muzzled, fortunately) run off a group of jehovah’s witlesses once; the neighbours were quite pleased.
Has there ever been an indoor cat that acts normal? Let the poor thing out.
Gaaa, do not let the cat out. Cats are a scourge to the local environment, particularly the bird population. I have zero tolerance for people who “own” cats only insofar as they feed them once in awhile and maybe take them to the vet once a year, and the cats run wild the rest of the time. You either own a pet and take responsibility for it, or you don’t. You don’t get to let the pet roam free doing whatever the hell it wants to do to wildlife and people and still claim you have a pet.
I have two chihuahuas. If you think that doesn’t sound very intimidating then you don’t know chihuahuas.
Don’t have a cat, but re the bird decimation problem – does it help to bell a cat? I don’t know enough to tell whether it reduces bird deaths and/or distresses the cat at all?
We got two cats, both emaciated and pummelled street creatures when we took them in. They’re called “cat” and “kitten”, despite the fact they are both cats by now. Though despite what must have been rough kittenhoods, they are pretty exemplary pets; very human-centric, they don’t mind strangers, they even sometimes like each other. I suspect they didn’t suffer at the hands of humans much which is why they are reasonably sociable. Most of the hardship was either other cats or just circumstance.
Our adopted stray was in the habit of peeing in the house until we had him neutered. Now my evil stepson has trained him to use the floor drain in the bathroom. Only problem is he hasn’t taught him not to shit in it.
I have a cat who was born in my basement but is kind of feral. When I take her to the vet, they leave her in the carrier. They take apart the carrier while slipping a towel in to cover her. One person holds on to the nape of her neck while the vet examines her. The vet can examine her and give her shots. However, she can’t examine her facial area because then she really starts to fight. In any case, the method works without any damage to the cat or the humans
By the way does CAAAAAAT as a DNA sequence have some sort of significance?
For the cat attacking strangers problem, see the Swedish movie Let The Right One In. Your visitors are clearly vampires.
@karmacat:
I recently had eye surgery. Hospitals are already stressful places to be even without people CUTTING HOLES IN YOUR ACTUAL EYE. Everything is unfamiliar. Weird metal tables, outlandish smells, people asking you questions that are so non-contextual that you feel defensive, a bunch of dogs and enemy cats in the waiting room… I might have slipped into talking about vets there, but that’s my point. As someone who once had his finger bit all the way through by a cat while at the vets (I was given dog antiseptic and dog bandages :) my advice is this:
Give it time. Don’t feel rushed. Vets aren’t usually as overworked as physicians and in my experience are quite happy to take their time, even if it involves the cat chilling out while the vet deals with other cases. Be prepared to swap appointments with other people in the waiting room if you think it will help. Your cat might pick up on your anxiety if you feel embarrassed at its antisocial behaviour or the time it is taking. Cats do seem to chill a bit when they’ve been left in an unfamiliar place for a while. Take a book. Ask the vet if you can store your cat somewhere other than the waiting room. They will have a place.
Handle the cat. Chances are it will prefer to be left alone and hide and/or bite, but cats have a fairly advanced touch interface. If the cat needs to be restrained – and many will – get it used to being restrained. Even very antisocial cats respond a little bit to being cuddled, even when they’re frightened. Getting a cat used to being restrained is basically cuddling of one sort or another. When your cat cat starts to kick you, it has probably decided what to do. Go with it.
Trust the vet, but if you don’t like their attitude go to a different one. Our local vets are great for the most part, but one time I didn’t like the way that one vet handled my cat. She didn’t seem to care about the cat at all, she just wanted to get the business done. That appointment did not go well. Fortran being Fortran, nobody won if winning requires blood and finding a place to hide that nobody could possibly reach.
Talk to your cat. Ask it questions. Complain to it about other people and things in your life. I think tones other than babytalk are useful.
@latsot,
never mind the cat pop psychology just give it some catnip? And by the sounds of it you should have a snifter of the stuff before going to the doctor.
@latsot
And the last paragraph is a joke….isn’t it? Please be a joke.
@mclarenm23
Of course not. The cat can’t understand but that’s not the reason for talking to it. I thought that was fairly clear.
@mclarenm23 no psychology, pop or otherwise. Just 40 years of experience. I’m not saying how cats think, I’m saying how they sometimes respond. Talking to cats sometimes calms them. Saying random words seems less effective. Talking to your cat when it’s going for surgery – guess what – calms you a little bit too. Do you think your being calm will help or harm your cat?
No, putting a bell on a cat doesn’t help. Many learn to walk in a way that keeps the bell silent. Having seen the effects on the cat from living outside, I do not recommend. Predators, cat fights (and associated abscesses and the medical costs thereof), chance of getting hit by a car, risk of communicable disease (FIV, the Feline Leukemia Virus, Herpes, Panleukopenia, Calici), and whatnot are just not worth the ‘convenience’ of not having a litterbox. If you don’t want to deal with the box, don’t get a cat OR toilet train it.
@latsot
I think the reason for talking to a cat might be more pertinent to you than for the cat. Which is fine, but it is a wild claim to say “Saying random words seems less effective”, implying that ordered human speech is more appreciated by cats than nonsensical human speech.
Does your cat get pissed when you misuse fewer/less?
re opposablethumbs @41:
Not as far as I can tell. We have been adopted by a local cat, who lives a few houses away, but shows up on our porch almost daily. The owners have refused giving the cat to willing adopters, and have several cats additionally , who apparently shun this cat.
This cat who has adopted us (not vice versa) is belled, yet has been seen catching birds, and mice, and moles, etc. So the bell is only a faint attempt at warning birds from the awesome predator, but not quite effective.
Random words don’t work as well because the cadence of speech changes when you are having to come up with random words. It tends to become stilted or repetitive and changes in vocalization will be picked up by a cat. An already nervous cat is going to become more nervous if the human it trusts starts ‘meowing’ funny.
I had a schnauzer-poodle mix. She was pushy and sometimes loud about the importance of her own routine (the tummy-timer is more accurate than a clock). She often smelled of dead things, and liked to spread that perfume all over the bed. She liked to take my underwear outside to show the neighbors. She “talked back” a lot when reprimanded. She was a liar and a thief. And she was the best roommate I’ve ever had.
There is a product called Comfort Zone with Feliway that supposedly helps to calm and soothe cats. “Mimics pheremones”, whatever that may mean.
Anyway, you can get it as a diffuser or a spray, and some say it really has worked for their fearful or stressed cats. Some say it hasn’t worked, either because it’s a placebo or because cats are just like that.
So, PZ, if you feel like trying something, maybe Cat will be one that it helps.
Loved by a pet–I stand appalled at such suffering.
mclarenm23. I think cats can tell the difference between speech and random words. They are fairly good at spotting patterns. Talking to your cat throughout its life is a useful thing when it comes to stressful situations. It will remember to some extent the tone of voice, the cadence and maybe some of the words, which might comfort it.
*of course* the words mean little or nothing to the cat but so what?
Hmm, I see. Pity – several of the neighbours have cats, all of which wander the gardens (though they don’t seem to fight much or hardly at all, I’ve only ever heard yowling a couple of times in years and no neighbours have mentioned injuries – I think I’d hear about it eventually, as the neighbourhood is pretty chatty), and I was wondering whether there was much/any point in talking with them about bells for the sake of the birds.
My cat certainly seemed to understand the ordered phrase “garden hose” as it was shouted in its direction, while it was pissing in the vegetable patch again.
I don’t have any cats, but my hawk is not going to be molted in time for the season’s start which is a pain. She is holding on to her #1 and #2 primaries like they’re her only hope of salvation. My old dog (14 yo mini dach) is going through some schedule disruptions as my wife is returning to work. His response to any stresses in life is to pointedly ‘forget’ he is house broken. I cannot express how frustrating it is to put a dog out in the morning to have it come in and poop on the rug. It is his only fault, but it is a big one. So he goes on the crate or leash program until he gets used to the new schedule. if he is in the house, he is in his crate or on a leash 100% of the time. This happens a couple times a year and usually lasts a week or so.
Regarding outdoor cats and birds, bells don’t work well but brightly colored collars can. Songbird vision is very sensitive to color, and I found a place that makes cat collars fashioned like hair scrunchies, with a broad band of colorful fabric and reflective piping. It looks like a clown collar, and we changed Remo’s name to Bozo while he was wearing it. They come with the usual breakaway fastener so your cat can’t hang himself from a branch stub by mistake. Remo is a furious hunter, and his success rate went way down while he had it on.
I’m on the staff of two cats. Thing 1 wakes up me up at 0400 (or whenever it thinks is 0400) to be fed. Thing 2 loves to park its furry self on my marking and sometimes chews on assignments. “Sorry, my cat ate your homework” has been used more than once.
I have a 21 1/2 year old female cat who started exhibiting some signs of anxiety about a year ago. Her vet suggested a couple of options, one of which was Prozac, which I rejected on the grounds that I was running out of things to hide pills in. The other was CEVA Feliway, which contains a synthetic version of the feline “facial” hormone that cats mark their territory with when then rub their faces on things. I now have two of the diffusers running full time: one in the bedroom and one in my home office, since those are the rooms that she spends most of her time in. The reviews of the various forms of the product on Amazon are instructive: some cats seem completely immune, while for others it works miracles. Anecdotally, it certainly seems to help my cat. She calmed down quite a bit when I first installed the diffusers and, when I deliberately waited before replacing them when they ran out, she started becoming more vocal. It’s not exactly cheap, but it could be worth a try.
@Maclarenm23
I think Rowan may be on the money here.
That makes sense. To a cat your words may just be completely unintelligible sounds in certain patterns… but so are their meows to you, and if your cat started meowing strangely, you’d wonder what the fuck was wrong. Same principal.
@Thumper: yes. So talking to your cat gets it used to a certain sort of noise so that when it needs comforting, it recognises that same sort of noise. I’ve no idea why anyone would think that’s foolish.
I didn’t have nearly enough time to read all the replies so pardon me if someone has also thought of this. Ivy could be the shortened version of your disagreeable kitty’s name…….Poison Ivy.
The mildly deranged penguin suggests giving the cat trebuchet-assisted flying lessons. Upon landing (usually), the cat has a new and rich array of unsuspecting targets to, ah, “socialize” with…
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
Our dog when I was growing was protective but generally Ok around people he knew or which he figured out we knew. But not always. Once, when we went on vacation for a week(?), we had a relative feed him. No problems until the last day. On that final day, after attending to the food, water, and so on, as the relative was leaving, the dog runs over and chomps.
@Garnetstar
My girlfriend tried a pheromone spray for her cat (not sure of the brand) when he became a little distressed by a strange cat entering the garden and sometimes the house. She sprayed it in his favourite place to sit, on the back of the sofa… and he refused to come in the living room for 3 days.
@Numenaster
I remember reading once that red flowers are generally bird-pollinated, because birds tend to have better vision lower down the spectrum, and thus red flowers stand out more to them. Perhaps a bright red collar would help the birdies?
Numenaster #63, thank you! Red sounds like a good idea, Thumper. Will suggest to neighbours when the opportunity arises (and I bet they’d be more amenable to colour than bells themselves, for obvious 4am reasons).
First, about that name. If it responds to Kitty or Cat, well then, that’s it. But if it’s all about tone of voice, then you might want to try something that appeals to you. We’re kind of into old music and films so our cats are named Gracie, Sammy, Garbo and Quincy. In your case you might want to lean towards something like Calamari, Cuttles, Nauty, Inky, Mala, Teuthy or, and I have to admit that, not being a marine biologist, I had to look this one up — the Vampyrotheuthis infernalis or the ‘vampire squid from hell’ which in your case could become ‘vampire cat from hell.’ A bit of a mouthful, but the next time it attacks your ankles you could try yelling that at him.
Now, as for the abandonment syndrome, I’d recommend getting it a companion. Maybe a kitten. But don’t just plop the little ball of fluff at the devil cat’s feet. Ease into things slowly. If it’s first reaction is to eviscerate the kitten, you might want to reconsider the whole thing. But if it starts licking its ears you might be in business.
Good luck.
I have known a cat who announced the end of lap time by clawing your face.
Oh reminds me a bit of a cat my parents had while I was still at school (and living there).
I was his human. And he absolutely despised the carrier. Required 4 people to get him in. 2 to keep his legs together after capture, 1 to place the top on the bottom once he was placed in the bottom and the 4 the person to place the door and lock it. And then once in he’d imitate Jackie Chan in his efforts to not be removed.
The easy solution was to ignore the traditional carrier and let me carry him around.
So once I moved out to my own place once a year I’d specifically go back to my parents to bring the cat to the vet. I in the back (I had to keep him in my arms or lap and that is not conductive to driving) one of my parents driving. Walk into a the waiting room full with dogs, cats and other assorted pets. And then the fun began, getting the yearly shots while I the cat had to be on the table, took a few years to figure out a way to do it without having the vet and assistants having to wear those gloves or how to keep him on the table long enough for the vet to be able to give the shot.
In hindsight that was really funny, a room full of strange animals is no problem in the arms of his human, but being dropped on a table to get a shot was seen as the end of the world.
I have had many cats over the years, but one in particular stands out: Mocha, a gorgeous Havana Brown whom we picked up as a stray. At the time our next door neighbours were three heavy-drinking brothers and their heavy-drinking friend, who all worked as movers. Almost every weekend they had new (old) furniture which they would drunkenly toss through their window. And of course, they also had a pit bull.
Mocha lived to tease him. He was tied up in the yard, but could come right up to the fence; so Mocha would plop herself in the patio a foot and a half from him and “play the cello”, roll around, or just sit looking up at him with contempt while he drooled and whined. When the dog was taken inside, Mocha would stroll over to the yard, and go around every one of the basement windows until she found the room the dog was in; then she would perch on the sill and clean between her toes while the dog jumped up and down, baying in frustration. (This was confirmed by the neighbour-galoots, who, though they didn’t *like* cats, certainly respected Mocha’s combination of brains and brawn.
Our gray longhair Miaka passed away recently. As a young cat, she was clearly evil. She didn’t like our family, but she put up with us because we kept the food dish full. Anyone else, human or animal, who happened by our house or yard was the enemy. Neighbors, other cats, dogs, birds, small children, insects: she had a zero tolerance policy.
We originally got her as a kitten from a couple who had adopted her from a shelter. She was their first cat, and they couldn’t handle her at all. I think they may have had permanent scars on their forearms. Their vet suggested Miaka needed to be socialized in an environment with other cats, and we agreed to adopt her.
Our oldest at the time was the no-nonsense matriarch of our cat collection, and she didn’t put up with any crap from the new kitten. Miaka learned to suppress her rage to avoid beatings, but it always seemed to simmer inside, and started flaring up more once that cat passed away.
Until we rescued a kitten, the only survivor of a litter born to a feral mother in our neighbor’s backyard. After Boots joined our family, Miaka’s attitude did a 180. She became friendly, even affectionate to our family and the one older cat in the household, and even became less hostile to neighborhood cats passing through our yard. She would even come up to me looking to be pet and cuddled. It was an amazing change!
And there’s no question that the new kitten brought it about. In their every interaction, you could see exactly what Miaka was trying to tell her. “I used to think I hated everyone and everything in this crazy world. But then you came into my life, and I’ve realized that they’re really not that bad! … Not compared to you, that is. You horrid little devil-monster.”
It was like all of the hostility she’d had towards everything had become entirely focused on this one kitten. The kitten, having lived her early life in the cold, unfriendly outdoors, generally responded along the lines of, “Bring it, bitch.” I used to consider locking them into a closet together to get it all sorted out, but I’m pretty sure it would have been worse than Thunderdome. “Two cats enter, around half a cat leaves.”
She took to spending as much time as possible outside (we used to keep all our cats indoors, but we surrendered with Miaka). Probably what did her in; she would come inside for dinner, blizzards, and thunderstorms. But she insisted on soldiering through Texas heatwaves, long coat and all. This summer’s seems to have been more than she could handle. RIP, Miaka.
When I was 12 years or so, me and my sister found a blind, abandoned kitten near the local store. There was quite a few half-feral cats in the neighborhood, dumpster divers mostly, not a pedigree in sight and this kitten certainly was not any different from them. We got her vaccinated, played with her, fed her until she could see (not in that order) then transferred her to my grandpa’s farm. There, she met with 3 much older, non-neutered toms and a cat, farm cats through and through. You could pet them, they wouldn’t bite you but they would rarely come to you when you called them.
There was not a problem with the cat (“Sassy”), but the 3 toms were stronger and mean enough for the dog not to touch them. (translated, their names were “Cuddly”, “Mullato” and “Cuddly’s son”, later “Cuddly too”, who looked just like Cuddly, for those interested). That’s when we learned why the kitten was abandoned in the first place. She grew up to be a short, muscular cat who would cuddle with humans and Sassy (until she lost her patience, then ouch) but would not tolerate toms anywhere near. During feeding time, the moment she would come close to food, 3 toms twice her size would run like hell from her. She terrified the dog about 6 times her size, would wrestle with your hand when she had enough cuddling and walked like a pit-bull and so that became her name.
Poor Pitbull met her end when she ate a poisoned rat that one of grandpa’s neighbors didn’t dispose of correctly.
@latsot
I appreciate the advice. Unfortunately, I have had to deal with getting this cat to the vet for 14 years. Every time I manage to get her into a carrier, she is so traumatized she hides from me for a few days. I only really see her when I feed her. I will sometimes talk to her and call her a pretty girl. She does blink at me but that is as social as she gets. The best solution was to get her adopted when she was much younger. It is hard to find people to adopt cats. Anyway, she is safe and comfortable except for the rare visit to the vet.
In terms of protecting birds from cats, you can put bibs on their collars. I’m not sure how well it works
https://catgoods.com
We do not have a personal evil cat, but we did have one at work for a while. She was surrendered after attacking one of her owners twice. I could pick her up once a day. Once.
She was adopted by a lovely woman who used to come in every few days and complain about the evil cat, and show her newest bite marks. We did warn her, believe me. She’s keeping the cat, who is strangely loveable in her own evil way.
Aaah, cats. Sometimes when I have one of ours properly soporific on my lap I quietly ask another family member to bring the nail clippers. Before they get thoroughly annoyed I can usually clip a few of their razorblades. Haven’t had too many blood letting episodes since regular clipping commenced.
Oh and they stay indoors because we have a largish house and they get shut in the box room overnight and the rest of the house has two main zones. They get their thrill “escaping” often enough to keep them happy. Picture windows are for observing the big bad magpies from a perch of safety.
The mildly deranged penguin points out that protecting ex-dinosaurs from cats is easy: RPGs. Arm the birdies.
(This advice brought to you by the NRA, daesh. and trum-prat and the thugs, Teh Band of Yesterday.™)
I have a new kitten. I was recovering from surgery and was quite depressed when my daughter walked in with a tiny bundle wrapped in a towel. It was a very tiny kitten – too young to be separated from Momma. She was found in a parking lot, drenched and muddy from a rainstorm and full of fleas. My daughter cleaned her up and handed her over to me. She was just what I needed – a tiny being to take care of.
Today Princess Leia is a beautiful 4 month old Lynx point Siamese who thinks she rules the house. The hubby’s Maine Coon adopted her, so instead of just Dax, he’s now known as Pappa Dax. My Flame Point Siamese, Casper, doesn’t much like her, so he’s taken on the role of the grumpy old Grandpa. My German Shepherd calmly and patiently waited until she got used to him enough to come close. He now seems delighted that Leia will share his bed and submit to some doggy grooming, from which she always emerges very wet.
We have found that the trick is to get them spayed/neutered as soon as possible, before the boys learn to spray or the girls get bitchy. Therefore, Miss Leia gets her booster shots this weekend and will then get an appointment for spaying.
Our two older cats are sweet and cuddly, and I hope that the kitten learns to be the same. Dax insists that the hubby pick him up and rock him like a baby as soon as he gets home from work. Casper likes to sleep against my leg in the recliner and is always there to “help” when I brush my teeth.
We moved 1900 miles with both cats and the 110 lb. German Shepherd in a Prius a couple of years ago. They are all good travelers, and La Quinta motels are very pet friendly. We’ll have to start getting the little one used to traveling, too.
I’m lucky; my two (mother and four month old daughter,) are pleasant, easy-going beasts. (They were fostered by Heina Dadabhoy and her husband, who are world-class fosterers.)
Delilah (mom cat, a gorgeous black shorthair with a face like Bastet in the statues) commands respect though. I accidentally kicked her recently–she’d gotten underfoot, silently, the way cats will. She accepted apology pets graciously, then gave me a firm nip on the offending foot.
Wine for cats: http://newsfeed.time.com/2013/10/15/never-drink-alone-again-because-now-theres-wine-for-cats/
Just a glass or two before each nap. (Note: Dosage schedule may therefore require a couple of bottles a day.)
These are still my favorite internet kittehs.
http://pandapuzzle.tumblr.com/post/4479815673
O_o Those cats look like they have ringworm.
I may partly feel this way because we currently have no less than 30 ringworm kittens spanning 13 unrelated litters. But if those guys came in to my shelter I’d be reaching for the black light and the iso gowns immediately. :P
Ringworm?
I thought it was Satan.
I wouldn’t assume that the vet was subtly telling you not to come back anytime soon with the three-year booster thing. As far as I can tell, it’s a change in veterinary practice in the last few years — first with the rabies shot, and then with the combo shot. When I told my vet about my cats reacting badly to the shots (which they no longer seem to do), he started by switching to a three-year schedule, but doing yearly blood tests to check, I guess, antibody levels. But then he said that was no longer needed, either.
One of my cats, a former feral, had a habit of biting his own tail, which sadly got serious enough that he had to have the last few inches amputated… twice, within a few days. The first time, we took him to an emergency vet, and they gave a collar that he wriggled out of, and a bandage that didn’t stay on. At my regular vet, after the second surgery, he got a better collar, which he wore for many months, and they used skin glue and skipped the bandage. Meanwhile, he went on Prozac (which he still is) — fortunately he’s pretty easy to give pills to. And then, he started urinating and defecating all over the place. This went on for many more months, and we came to an accommodation, laying down waterproof mats in his preferred areas and doing a lot of laundry. Then he had a spontaneous remission, then he started again, then he stopped again. Meanwhile, he was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism (apparently common in older cats), and added another pill to his daily regimen. Now he’s started having trouble finding his food, even as he tells me how hungry he is. I could go on, but…
I love him dearly, he’s my favorite cat, and I wouldn’t trade him for anything.
Considering that one of the common treatments for ringworm is a lyme sulfur dip… satan may not be an incorrect answer. :P
Uh, PZ, that sounds an awful lot like your cat has a raging case of PTSD.
As for the clinginess? You are her humans!
mclarenm23 @38:
Not gonna happen. I’ve seen too much damn roadkill. Not to mention carlie’s points @39.
****
garydargan @43:
For all that I’ve heard stories of cats being trained, I’m still astonished when I hear someone say they have successfully trained a cat at anything.
@ Bob Foster #72
Vympyrofelis infernalis? Or Vampyrocatus?
The cat is fine. It is the stepson who is evil. Sadly I can’t train either of them.
@garydargan #43
Your stepson is well on his way to becoming an evil genius, but I am slightly concerned as to how he trained the cat to do that…
@ Karmacat #77
I can’t work out how the bib works; there’s no explanation on the site (I read the study, which proves it works, but doesn’t explain how). The only thing I can see is that it might interfere with stalking.
*General*
I guess I better share my cat story too. I haven’t had a cat for years, but when I was a kid we had a small all-black queen called Topsy (no idea what breed). She died at 16 years old, which I understand is quite old for a cat, when her kidneys gave out and we had to have her put down. I’m not sure how old I was, but it was younger than 10, so my memories of her are quite fuzzy.
I do however have one clear memory of her. It was a sunny day, and I was sat on the bench at the front of the house having a drink of something-or-other. Topsy is sat in the middle of the road sunning herself. We live in a cul-de-sac, so the road is pretty safe; most people living there have young children and live there for exactly that reason.
The house at the end of the cul-de-sac had three dogs; two Golden Retrievers and a Border Collie. The owner is outside doing something, probably washing the car. He goes back inside to fetch something and leaves the door open. All of a sudden there’s this massive barking, and the Collie comes pelting out of the house. Topsy is up like a shot and comes sprinting towards me, the Collie chasing her. All of a sudden, as though she’s thought better of it, she stops, turns, and sits down, facing the dog. The dog comes skidding to a stop, his back legs overtaking his front as dogs do when they stop too quickly, and ends up sitting with his back legs pretty much either side of Topsy, looking at her in utter confusion. She stares up at him for a second, perfectly calm, and then hisses and scratches him right across the muzzle. He yips, turns, and shoots back inside as fast as he came out, leaving Topsy sat calmly in the street licking her paw.
I was so proud. I think I actually cheered.
Yes we’re seeing an ongoing process of alienation: a human was enslaved to a feline, and instead of plotting his escape, or, Great-Puppy-In-Heaven forbid, an uprising, he’s wondering how to make his oppressor feel more comfortable: truly a sad sight.
I have my suspicion my stepsons aim was a bit off and he missed the toilet and got the drain instead. The cat is merely peeing where the smell is.
Many years ago we had a cat which we found as a feral kitten. it used to perch in our border hedge within striking range of the neighbors dog. The stupid dog always tried to chase the cat and always got clawed across the face.
We also had a dog up the street which rushed at the fence and tried to get through it to attack any unwary pedestrian. It got out once and sauntered down the street and saw our cat sunning itself on the front lawn. We all watched as the dog gingerly tried to creep up on the “unsuspecting ” cat every so often the cat’s ear would twitch pr an eye open. Just as the dog got in striking range the cat spun around, locked on with the front claws and teeth and raked the hind claws down the dogs neck. Evil cat 1 dumb dog nil.
None of my current animals hate me, as far as i can tell, but i once had a tarantula that i could pick up and interact with, but then it molted, matured, and it became the spawn of Satan. Holy shit, that thing wanted me dead. It would sit in a corner of its tank just seeeeething with unadulterated hatred. It didn’t eat for over two years….i think it was too bussy hating me.
I had a Maine Coon named Maxwell Smart. Like Cat, he was very attached to me, however he despised everyone else. Especially men, who he seemed to believe were invading his territory. He had serious dominance issues, and would make sure I knew my “place” by smacking me on the head and spitting at me as he ran past me across the back of the couch, or lying in wait so he could wrap his arms around my legs and gnaw on my ankles when I walked by. That settled down when I got another cat that he could dominate, but the hatred of men never went away. It was so bad that one day while my mother was visiting, he was a growling, swiping asshole towards her, which he had never done before. We realized later that she was wearing my step-father’s sweatshirt at the time, and thus smelled “male.”
Unfortunately Max fell victim to the melamine tainted pet food outbreak of 2009. It wasn’t until after he died that everyone told me how afraid of him they were. He was an asshole cat, but he was my asshole cat. I have had other “dominant” cats since then, but none that were quite so extreme about it. And I currently have a cat named Mose that I jokingly call my Beta cat. He’s this big dopey giant of a cat who gets along with everyone.
@laurentweppe, #93:
we all have to make choices about how to survive. Sometimes compromise with power is the only feasible choice we have…
Trust has to be earned with cats. Dogs give it unconditionally, which is why I don’t respect them.
All things considered, wouldn’t “Poison Ivy” be the obvious choice? Yeah, it’s a rather tired name that’s been done to death, but hey, maybe switch it up a bit? Poison Sumac? … Ragweed! Yeah, that’s perfect.
I used to kinda “have” a cat a few years back that showed up begging for food and warmth one winter. It came inside when it wanted food and some companionship, but otherwise just wanted to go outside. Yeah yeah, up north letting a cat “go out” is a sin comparable to just… mowing down an entire rain forest or something… but if you live in the burbs and a cat wants out, that cat is GOING to get out come hell or other worse hell. Frankly, I felt it was unkind to deny the cat something that was SO important to it. Had it been raised as an indoor cat, yeah, but this one just couldn’t be happy without the outdoors, so it got to go outdoors, even knowing full well that eventually it would meet its death most likely because of that same outdoors.
That cat was all sweetness and light to us, and people in general, but not to any animals that came sniffing around. The dog in the house very VERY slowly earned this cat’s trust, but for a while whenever it showed up it tended to want that dog out of sight. It became a pattern that the cat would vanish for 3-5 days at a time and then show up on our doorstep with a few new scratches. Sometimes it was bad enough that I needed to patch the cat up and it stayed inside for a week or so while it healed back up, but the moment it felt strong enough, right back out it’d go. So, a raccoon or something would start sniffing around the porch, and the next thing we’d see is this cat running out of the darkness to scare it away. The few animals that didn’t immediately run would find out this cat wasn’t just putting on a show. Every time it came back, I always wondered just what the OTHER animal looked like after whatever fight it came back from. These suburbs had a lot of wide untamed forest next to it, so I’m sure the cat had plenty to do out there. I don’t think it ever caught any birds, but it came back with a lot of moles. On top of the moles the dog was bringing back, it’s a wonder any survived long enough to breed (but no worries, that mole population was under no threat of collapsing, as the numerous hills that sprouted up around the neighborhood every summer would attest to).
When I moved, the cat took that as a sign to leave. The cat is still around that neighborhood, after all these years. I suspect it had more than one human family and would take turns “crashing” at different “pads” on a whim.
I’ve had many pets throughout my life. Cats, dogs, chickens, parrots, and horses. However, the most evil one I ever had was a rabbit. He was mine when I was about 7 or 8 because I begged for a rabbit. So I was supposed to feed and care for him every day, but there was a small problem. He hated everyone but my mother.
When I would enter his run he would rush me and bite my legs. Think Monty Python and the killer rabbit only mine was black. My father he would spray with urine, my siblings were ignored, but my mom he would immediately cuddle up to.
Now I have two kitties who love everyone and just want to cuddle all the time. They make working difficult though.
Oh what a great thread.
We have a bonkers female kitty, about 3. We chose her from the shelter to distract the damaged untrusting RSPCA rescue we took off a friend who couldn’t cope. He was youngish and wanted to play fight all the time with my old boy who was 13 at the time… So little grey cat who is “boisterous and must not go to a family with small kids.” They told us she’s not a lap cat, and she’s very wary. So we went in her enclosure. She jumped on my partner’s lap, and curled up. So we took her.
Violent kitty who has attacked every visitor at least once. But most of the time she’s so friendly and calm. She just goes hyper every now and again… The frequency of outbursts is getting longer, she’s way more settled now.
The funniest thing is vet trips. She’s weirdly non-cat. The last time we took her, she ambled out of the cat carrier, looked about, and sat down looking at the vet. Vet went to stethoscope her, and the silly cat lay down and rolled on her back! “Um, what’s she doing?” “she wants you to rub her belly…”I’ve been a vet 15 years, and i’ve never seen a cat do that at an exam…” Vet bravely goes in with stethoscope…. “right… i’m going to just assume her heart’s ok this time as she’s young, and i can’t hear her heart over the purring. she seems happy, anyway.” Really. Never seen anything like it.
So a year on, the two young’uns still occasionally chase the old guy about, but mostly they play together. She’s calmed down and doesn’t spontaneously flip to KILL MODE as much, and the other broken kitty has really come out of his shell and interacts with the rest of us, even sitting next to me on the sofa. And the old guy gets some peace, and company. Worked out well.
Are psychopaths evil? Kitty, a male black and white medium hair without pity for any creature of any size. He has attacked a plumber, a cleaning woman, my daughter, son, a neighbor’s sweet and friendly black lab, the UPS man, and the mail lady. He usually draws blood and I think the only reason I haven’t been sued is that he looks exactly like a cat and no lawyer would take the case. The havoc he visited on the small animals on my short three acres would be a war crime under any other circumstances. Bunnies by the bushel, snakes, moles, voles, rats and mice. All I ever see to the birds are piles of feathers so I have no body count there but he does murder a frog or two every Spring. He even kills and eats salamanders, supposedly poisonous. He hasn’t brought down any deer or bear yet but that is because they rarely come near the property line. Inside he likes to hide in the hall, waiting for the passing ankle to shred. The only people he hasn’t attacked were a gang of men hired to clear out blackberry brambles but they were wielding big assed weed eaters and in no mood to play. If you have ever dealt with the invasive species called the Himalayan Blackberry you would know why they were in foul moods. The Blackbzerry, producer of delicious fruit two weeks out of the year and a good imitation of a razor wire at the North and South Korean border for fifty. Of course when he wants a pet or bowl of Costco kibble he turns all purry and innocent looking. I would trade him in for a gangster’s pit bull but I live out in the country and need the protection that Kitty gives.