You’re all dead. Your culture is basically extinct…or more accurately, has evolved into something that doesn’t involve sea-faring raids and pillaging and slave-taking, all those stereotypical things associated with Vikings. You weren’t even all that a thousand years ago — the Vikings were one aspect of a complicated culture of farmers and merchants and politicians and fishers and city builders.
So I’m afraid that if you are calling yourself a Viking now, you’re just a silly poseur*. If you’re trying to live up to Viking ideals today, you’re mistaken — no one wants to live with Vikings around anymore. Imagine a time a thousand years from now, when people try to claim the revered traditions of Americans by insisting on being called Footballers and running about in pads and cleats and punching their spouses in the head. That’s what I see in modern “Vikings”, and I say that as someone who can also claim Scandinavian descent.
I find this story ridiculous: a woman who happens to be Christian (sorry) and graduated from a conservative Christian college (even sorrier) applied for a job with a Norwegian wilderness expedition company — apparently she was otherwise qualified for the job, because she was rejected for being insufficiently Viking.
The Norse background of most of the guys at the management level means that we are not a Christian organization, and most of us see Christianity as having destroyed our culture, tradition, and way of life,Amaruk’s hiring manager, Olaf Amundsen, wrote last month to Vancouver-area job applicant Bethany Paquette, the first in a series of bizarre, angry emails sent from company officials in Norway.
According to a complaint she has since filed with the B.C. Human Rights Tribunal (BCHRT), Ms. Paquette’s Christian education cost her an “assistant guide internship” position at Amaruk.
Wait. Norway voluntarily (well, mostly: there was some torturing and murdering involved) became Christian, and has been Christian for centuries, and Mr Amundsen almost certainly has Christian ancestors much more recently in time than any Vikings…and for that matter, for all we know, any of his ancestors who lived during the age of Vikings may have spent their time fishing for herring or growing barley or breeding oxen, and of course his maternal ancestors (so easily forgotten!) were even more unlikely to have spent any time raiding England.
I also have to wonder if Amundsen is equally discriminating against atheists and humanists — there are a heck of a lot of those in modern Norway — because no True Viking™ would have been an atheist. I hope he isn’t a follower of Ásatrú, because that hokey religion isn’t even as old as Mormonism. There’s pretty much no recourse for a modern devotee of Viking purity but to fire everyone in the company — by hanging, probably, or possibly in hand-to-hand combat.
This is also unfortunate because the rather stupid rejection just reinforced that Christian sense of martyrdom.
Ms. Paquette says she hasn’t tried to force her beliefs and opinions on anyone. In fact, she has questioned her religion and until recently she did not regularly attend church. But the Amaruk “attack” has strengthened her faith in Christianity and in God, she says, and has made her decide to “stand up for what’s right.”
Getting a rude set of emails from a pseudo-Viking douchesnekkja is a piss-poor reason to believe in a god, but I can see where resentment can lead to that kind of invalid response. But really, anyone who calls themselves a Viking nowadays, unless it’s in a mocking sense, is full of shit.
Hmm. This story is getting weirder and weirder. It looks like Amaruk Wilderness is a fake company.
Sophie Waterman applied for the same job, but soon believed it sounded too good to be true. She withdrew her application after a friend in the tourism industry warned her Amaruk might not be all that it seems.
"When I cancelled the interview, I received about 15 emails in quick succession," she says. "All pretending to be from different people involved with the company, and all very litigious, accusing me and my friend of slander. My feeling is that it’s all one person."
But if that’s the case, who that person is remains something of a mystery.
Christopher Fragassi-Bjørnsen and Dwayne Kenwood -Bjørnsenare are listed as co-CEOs of Amaruk along with several other businesses, including Norealis, Spartic and Militis.
But the men do not live in Europe and they are not diplomats. And if Olaf Amundsen — the man who allegedly sent Paquette the offensive emails — is real, the picture of him on the company website is not. In fact, it’s an image grabbed from social media site Pinterest.
One of the companies, Norealis, is listed as owning a male erotic website called MaleCorps.com. Many of the models found on that site can also be found in images on the other companies’ websites.
The domain names of the websites for all the companies were registered in B.C. by a Christopher Fragassi, who lists a Whistler P.O. Box as his address.
These are really fake Vikings, it seems — so fake they don’t even exist.