I hope you have a bucket handy

The Creation “Museum” is advertising on Nickelodeon with commercials aimed straight at your children.

Notice that nowhere in their ads do they mention biblical literalism, young earth, god’s extermination of most of mankind, or that their audience are all damned sinners. Instead, we get dinosaurs and animals and a lot of false implications that the museum is a fun place for kids.

It isn’t. It’s a pretty dry series of exhibits, full of earnest sincerity, and a good bit of it in the middle is an attempt to scare everyone away from hellbound evolution.

Oh, well, I hope they’re spending a lot of money on advertising, and that it all contributes to this year’s red ink.


  1. Goodbye Enemy Janine says

    Is this how the state of Kentucky is hoping to increase the tourist trade?

  2. anteprepro says

    Wow. Rosy cheeked Ham? Disney-esque music playing in the background? Random cartoon hijinx that isn’t at all indicative of what the Museum actually has to offer? Disgusting. Gotta give Ham and his advertising team credit though: they did a damn fine job of polishing a turd.

  3. HolyPinkUnicorn says

    Since this is airing on Nickelodeon, I like to think there’s some gritty director’s cut of SpongeBob SquarePants where SpongeBob and Patrick drag the animated Ken Ham off to the Pacific and drown him at the bottom of the sea. (Hey, if dinosaurs get to wear saddles, then sea sponges and starfish get to be anthropomorphic and vengeful.)

    And if anyone was wondering, even SpongeBob SquarePants has been targeted by the Christian Right–back in 2005, James Dobson accused him of being used in a pro-homosexual video.

  4. robro says

    There is a Bible like object in the background, so you know it’s a bunch of lies. Besides that, it’s advertising. He’s such a sleaze which the ad accurately reflects.

  5. chigau (違う) says

    Is that ‘when accompanied by a paying adult’ thing mean ‘one-adult-one-child’?
    because I can rent a bus…

  6. petemoulton says

    I’ve already seen the pic of PZ riding the dino. As far as I’m concerned, that’s the pinnacle of the Cretin Museum experience, and there’s no need to go even one step closer to the place.

  7. jerthebarbarian says

    Yeah they show those commercials here too. One thing I noticed is that they never actually say the name “Creation Museum” out loud – it’s on the banner behind animated Ham’s head and the URL of their website is on the board that comes up at the end of the ad, but the name of the place is never mentioned even when it would flow more naturally than what Ham actually says. It’s funny, because they show it on channels aimed at kids who may or may not be quick readers yet and many not pick up on subtlety – like the banner hanging over his head – even if they can read. I don’t see how it could possibly serve its stated purpose of getting kids to ask their parents to go to the creation museum when many of those kids won’t even know what it’s an ad for.

  8. samgardner says

    How telling that he never mentions the museum’s primary purpose. It’s almost like he knows that if he does, he’d be labelled a kook.

    I wonder why that would be a concern now?

  9. Antares says


    I don’t see how it could possibly serve its stated purpose of getting kids to ask their parents to go to the creation museum when many of those kids won’t even know what it’s an ad for.

    Best-case scenario: They get all fired up and ask their parents to take them to “that museum with the dinosaurs”, and the parents take them to the AMNH. :-)

  10. bortedwards says

    was half expecting that after the dromedary, the comet, and the T-rex were all *cough* hilariously put back in their places, that an animated PZ would shamble amiably in, to be met by the adorable Ham cheerfully admonishing: “Hey, haters, you belong outside”, followed by a big cheesy grin and a thumbs up.

    *and yeah, add more puke to the pile*

  11. scienceavenger says

    Let’s not forget the name of the place itself is a lie. It’s not a museum: “a building in which interesting and valuable things (such as paintings and sculptures or scientific or historical objects) are collected and shown to the public”, but rather a Creation Theme Park, akin to Disneyworld’s “It’s Small World After All” exhibit.

    We really should stop calling it a museum.

  12. tbtabby says

    And I thought Nickelodeon couldn’t sink any lower than giving Fred his own TV show.

  13. Jeff S says

    Honestly, I’d love to go to this place. Sounds like a hilarious thing to witness.
    However, I suspect the hilarity would wear off once I saw children viewing the exhibits…

  14. says

    The real disturbing thing about this is that Nickelodeon ever greenlit these advertisements on their channel. You would expect this kind of crap on an explicitly religious channel, but not on something secular and wide-reaching like Nick.

    And to think I loved Nickelodeon back in my childhood.

  15. Sarahface, who is trying to break the lurking habit says

    I do, in fact, genuinely have a bucket (well, old ice-cream tub) to hand.
    Happily though, I will never have to see this ‘in the wild’ as it were, because I don’t think nickelodeon uk will advertise American tourist attractions to kids here. Also I don’t think I even get nickelodeon, so there’s that, too.
    But yikes.

  16. Ichthyic says

    It’s the very first thing I learned about religion:

    The whole thing is nothing but a giant bait and switch game.

  17. Ichthyic says

    Is that ‘when accompanied by a paying adult’ thing mean ‘one-adult-one-child’?
    because I can rent a bus…

    what? you think Hamster wouldn’t be ecstatic you brought an entire busload of impressionable kids to his place?