We are having a wedding anniversary in about two weeks…

…and when I looked up what the blood-sucking merchants of the world have declared to be traditional anniversary gifts, I notice that the 32nd anniversary is supposed to be commemorated with “molluscs”. At least, I think that’s what it said — what the hell do I care what the National Retail Jeweler Association thinks I’m supposed to get her? (And what’s with the 44th anniversary: I’m supposed to get her groceries?)

OK, anyway, as I was saying, molluscs for anniversary … I’m thinking this fabulous Valentina Ramos Octopus Bloom Duvet Cover is both romantic and titillating. What do you think?

(I now expect the phone to ring any moment and hear the words, “DON’T YOU DARE DECORATE MY HOUSE!” She knows that madness lies that way.)


  1. Trebuchet says

    Sorry, PZ, you’ve missed it. 30 was Pearl. At least those are made by molluscs, even if not the type you like.

  2. shouldbeworking says

    Do you mean to tell me I you do not refer to theTrophy Wife as ‘ your little mermaid’?

  3. pacomius says

    I would have encouraged you to go with it but then I remembered that Japanese octopus inspired piece of erotica posted here a few days ago and changed my mind. After seeing that, the thought of getting it on with my own lady love under such a duvet just seemed a trifle less romantic

  4. shouldbeworking says

    Even I think that the duvet cover is nice, and I’m not noted for my decorating style.

    Things could be worse, the anniversary could have designated as “feline” in nature. And we know how much you enjoy Caturdays.

  5. magistramarla says

    Congrats, PZ!
    We were married just a few years before you – October, 1976.
    Is Mary as into cephalopods as you are? If so, go with your desires for a present. If not, go with something that captures her interests, not yours. But of course, after 32 years, you should know this. Wait a minute, after 35 years, mine still can’t get it right.
    Oh well, we women love you guys anyway!

  6. IndyM, pikčiurna says

    PZ! You read my email (as a huge fan of yours, I’m beyond thrilled)! By the way, I just got an email from Fab.com, and these duvet covers are now ON SALE! The king-size cephalopod duvet cover is now $164 (as opposed to $229). Better discuss this with Mary soon–the sale only lasts for 2 days! (http://fab.com/sale/3797/product/53804/)

    P.S. I don’t work for Fab.com–I just love funky design and subscribe to their site. And, of course, when I see anything to do with cephalopods, I immediately think of you. :)

  7. Sastra says

    The 32nd anniversary is supposed to be for “Conveyances
    (e.g., automobiles).” I think the Trophy Wife would therefore be happier with this.

  8. Ogvorbis: Now With 98% Less Intellectual Curiousity! says

    Congratulations, PZ.

    In my experience (admittedly, I’ve only been married for just under 23 years), the 9th, 15th and 22nd wedding anniversaries are all hot water heaters. Not sure if the pattern continues.

  9. madrone says

    I like cephalopods, but I don’t think I could sleep on a pillow case with that design.

  10. tfkreference says

    Overheard from my cubicle:

    Woman 1: it’s my fifth anniversary.
    Woman 2: What do you get for your fifth anniversary?
    Woman 1: I think you get wood.

    [mutual laughter from embarrassed realization at what she said]

  11. David Marjanović says

    And what’s with the 44th anniversary: I’m supposed to get her groceries?

    You’re supposed to do the shopping. For the first time. Because, as a man, you’ve never done that before, you know. *vehement nodding*

    “Traditional” may not be that far off.

  12. 'Tis Himself, OM says

    Sastra #14

    The 32nd anniversary is supposed to be for “Conveyances (e.g., automobiles).”

    Perhaps The Trophy Wife™ would prefer this as an anticephalopod choice.

  13. anuran says

    I’m just sorry I was unaware of #9 “Leather Goods”. That could have made the ninth anniversary a lot more interesting.