There is a wonderful program in place at a bible camp in Massachusetts: the children get phone calls…from God. He tells the kids to proselytize for him, to be just like Jesus, and if they’re really, really good, that he’ll swoop in some day on his magic sleigh and harvest their souls to bring to heaven with him (OK, that last bit is an extrapolation). I like this plan, though. It sets the kids up with concrete expectations that will be shattered later, and then there’s always the wonderful day when Mommy and Daddy explain that that really wasn’t God, it was just Pastor Greg pretending to be the voice of God, just like he does every Sunday.

This program is so good that it has won Atheist Ireland’s really, truly True Believer™ of the month award.