It’s going to detonate with a loud “BAZOOM!”

Wouldn’t you know it: when advanced theo-scientists in Iran discover a dangerous principle, some godless American turns it into a Doomsday Weapon. The first test-firing is to occur on the 26th of April.

I plan to be cowering in my bed, afraid to step out. I recommend everyone stock up on vital supplies before the Apocaniptic Catitclysm. If we’re really lucky, Minnesota will have a cold snap on the 26th, so we’ll be spared.


  1. Rorschach says

    So, who’s with me? I may be a D cup, but that will probably only produce a slight tremor on its own. If you’ll be joining me on twitter, use the tag #boobquake!

    Count me in !

    *Jen fan*

  2. MoonShark says

    I encourage other female skeptics to join me and embrace the supposed supernatural power of their breasts.

    Photos or it didn’t happen. (er, not sure how to phrase that meme in future tense)

    Also, my man-chest now feels weaker and more ineffectual than ever :( I mean sure, I can lift some heavy objects, but I’m not exactly causing tsunamis here. Oh well, some spotlight for the ladies is a good thing. Hopefully people realize they’re flaunting their brains more than their busts.

  3. Zeno says

    Do man-boobs work, too? While I am flat chested, I have male colleagues with ample endowments. Now that warm spring weather has arrived in fault-ridden California, these men could shake the world in their tank tops (or at least turn a lot of heads — the other way).

    I do fear that this could get out of hand, but I know of no way to nip it in the bud.

  4. Antiochus Epiphanes says

    I am 100% for this and encourage all good mammals to join the cause. I’m going to tell my wife right away!


    What an udderly wonderful idea! It’s the best idea in recent mammary. Thank you PZ for keeping abreast of the skeptic-media. Areola.

    OK…that last one was a cheesy attempt to milk a good thing.

  5. Jennifurret says

    Lucky if there’s a cold snap? Hell, if we get nipply we’ll probably go nuclear!

  6. Shplane says

    Best apocalypse ever?

    (The correct answer is a resounding “FUCK YEAH” followed by the putting on of sunglasses.)


    Future pix or it won’t have happened. In the future.

  7. RamblinDude says


    Also, my man-chest now feels weaker and more ineffectual than ever :( I mean sure, I can lift some heavy objects, but I’m not exactly causing tsunamis here.

    Don’t worry, we immoral men have our own powers; we cause volcanoes to erupt

  8. David Marjanović says

    HOORAY! We’re doomed!

    I’ll even post a picture of my cleavage on my blog ( ) on april 26th to prove i want to set off this boob quake too.

    Literal blogwhoring :-D :-D :-D

  9. David Marjanović says

    Remarkable blockquote fail. I’ll retry:

    HOORAY! We’re doomed!


    I’ll even post a picture of my cleavage on my blog ( ) on april 26th to prove i want to set off this boob quake too.

    Literal blogwhoring :-D :-D :-D

  10. ambook says

    So is it only a weapon if it’s youngish sexy immodesty, or does immodesty that might make People of Walmart count as well? At least as long as it’s undertaken with the proper atheistic intent (as opposed to the mistaken aesthetics of the people featured in POW).

  11. Holytape says

    If adultery causes earthquakes, then why haven’t the PGA tour with Tiger Woods cause a wake of destruction in their path. The earth should shake at the very presence of Mr. Woods, who standards includes two legs and a pulse. However, at best, instead of the causing the ground to move, Tiger Woods has only a caused an occasional double-wide to rock.

    Eve and sock puppets
    Mary wasn’t all that into Jesus.

  12. jidashdee says

    I don’t know. I’m not at all convinced that this “Indiana” place exists. Sure, I’ve seen the signs for it on I-75 near Cincinnati, but I just figured those were a cute little gag for the tourists. Kind of like “Elf Crossing” signs in Iceland.

    Supposedly, it’s right next to Ohio. Sure it is. Show me the transitional forms! Next you’ll be telling me that these implanted memories of a childhood in “Canada” are real. As if!

    Happy 4-20, heathens!

  13. mommimus-prime says

    I have just the shirt and the boobs to bring the world to its knees. Screaming in terror.

  14. Brownian, OM says

    embrace the supposed supernatural power of their breasts.

    Me! Me! Brownian want to help!

  15. JackC says

    Cleavage? CLEAVAGE??

    Oh come on! If we are going to test this, let’s do it right!

    Please be warned. That link may cause monitor or keyboard loss. You don’t even need coffee. If you have any fashion sense whatsoever, perhaps you should have someone else look and tell you what they saw.

    I am not certain if you have to have a FB membership to get there though – but who doesn’t anyway?


  16. Benjamin Geiger says

    If they’re exposing their breasts, I’ll lend them my full, ahem, support.

    And cold weather may not have the effect you’re expecting, PZ. When I was in college, they apparently kept the ladies’ room in the Engineering building at meat-locker temperatures, because damn near everyone came out sporting a nice set of Taj Mahals. I miss college.

  17. jagannath says

    Even if I approve the show of immodesty, I have to say that my personal view is that the religious people got it all wrong;

    Gods are angry as there are so many praying to the wrong Gods. Just tone down that praying and maybe Gods will calm down a little.

    Oh, and Hooray for Boobies!

  18. omnipasje says

    @ David Marjanović
    Well.. i did get some new visitors now.. but that picture won’t be there untill april 26th.
    So thanks for the interest.
    It’s a bit of a challenge for me actually, as i’m quite a self aware (and not skinny) person who normally only wears (funny or hard rock or gaming) t-shirts.

  19. Multicellular says

    I encourage other female skeptics to join me and embrace the supposed supernatural power of their breasts.

    Hell, I’m already shaking in anticipation. Never thought I’d ever get this excited for the end times.

  20. dutchdoc says

    There’s no escaping these weapons of mass distraction!

    I’m going to hide in a doorway or under a staircase .. just like we were told to do in case of atomic attacks, in the 60’s!

    Or maybe I should dig myself a foxhole!

  21. Qwerty says

    “I [, PZ Myers,] plan to be cowering in my bed, afraid to step out.”

    Why? Is the Trophy Wife planning to wear a push-up bra?

  22. Lynna, OM says


    Photos or it didn’t happen. (er, not sure how to phrase that meme in future tense)

    Photos, or it will not have happened.

    Burnishing the brass breastplate as we “speak” — brass being the ultimate pushup device. Mark your calendars for Monday, the 26th.

  23. toth says

    I never thought I’d say this, but: Thank you, crazy Muslim cleric. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

  24. ThirdMonkey says

    Remember, it’s not the immodest dress that causes the earthquakes but the lustful thoughts of men who look at the immodestly dressed. But, no, it’s not the men’s fault since we all know that lustful thoughts can not be controlled (why would God create us with an uncontrollable sin mechanism and then condemn us for it, I don’t know) so we have to blame and control women and force them to cover up (or in the case of weaponizing this: uncover).
    So, for this to work *men* must look and think lustful thoughts. Women are the trigger, men are the explosive.
    The only problem here is that God has notoriously bad aim. That makes this a pretty poor tactical weapon. Also it would only take one earthquake somewhere in the world that day (or within several days after) to validate the test.
    Still, I am willing to sacrifice my eternal soul by sinning for this test (I’m such a patriot). So ladies please post your pics, or better yet videos of you bouncing up and down and I will dutifully watch and take one for the team.

  25. Josh, Official SpokesGay says

    Burnishing the brass breastplate as we “speak” — brass being the ultimate pushup device.

    Oh, thank goodness – I was thinking I’d have to corral you to get in here, Lynna, but I see you’re on top of it. And remember, “Bon Ami – Hasn’t Scratched Yet!©”

    Photos, or it will not have happened.

    OMG. You used the future perfect progressive. I’m tingling. Tingling.

  26. nejishiki says

    Women everywhere in skimpy outfits.
    Earthquakes destroying cities.

    Seems like a fair trade to me.

  27. AJ Milne OM says

    While I cannot comment either way on Sedighi’s fascinating notion identifying the presence of hot, scantily-clad women as a causative agent for earthquakes, it does strike me that worrying about this particular dynamic really probably misses a much more serious and threatening danger to persons not wishing to have tall buildings falling upon them or their loved ones.

    And so, ladies and gentleman of the press, allow me to introduce my ‘theological inanity*/neurologically-induced resonance theory’ of earthquake causation:

    It works like this (diagrams forthcoming for the letter to Nature)… (a) idiot in robe says something even more stupid than usual, like, say, ‘hot, scantily clad babes create hormonal froth in males thus making deities cranky thus creating earthquakes’, (b) due to (bi) the abovementioned slightly higher proportions of stupidity than usual in the utterance and (b2) the presence of modern high-speed communications networks, this incredibly silly utterance is broadcast around the world, in a spreading, circular region we will call, for the purposes of a shorthand, the ‘theoinanopause’, on a circular front advancing at just under the speed of light…

    … (c) persons read said reportage, and slap their heads in synchrony. (d) pulse waves from said synchronous head slapping across the spreading front advance from multiple centres around the ring, and through additive resonance create growing secondary waves cascading toward what we shall here call the ‘theoinanicentre’–the point whence said stupidity originated…

    … (d) Tehran, the Vatican and a number of extremely unfortunate locations at secondary resonance points proximal to them are completely flattened.

    Oh… right. And travellers are advised to stay well away from Canterbury, too.

    Now I’m just the researcher, here. So my paper pretty much has to take a title like ‘Seismic activities due to painful synchronous head-slapping along a concentric front advancing from loci of unusually high theological inanity’… I’ll leave it to the tabloids to write the headline: ‘Fuck, Sedighi, shut the hell up already’…

    (Subhead: ‘While there’s still at least a mud hut vertical somewhere on this planet, anyway’…)

    (/Later, aftershocks… and we’re pretty sure that’s just what happens after the translation delay, when the same lethally silly utterance is broadcast in additional languages, some hours or days later.)

  28. Randomfactor says

    Re: #40

    From the looks of the background, either John Ritter joined Scientology or passed health-insurance reform before his death…

  29. Celtic_Evolution says

    And should this diabolical plan fail, then there shall be DEATH… by SNU-SNU!


  30. AJ Milne OM says

    (/*Missing footnote from the foregoing: reviewers have noted after first reading that the term ‘theological inanity’ is pretty much redundant, so this title may not stand at publication.)

  31. ereador says

    If I should die before I wake…. This must be in some strange dream world, but I will surely die happy on the 26th. Sex is so sexy! I love Jen; I was only introduced to her blog yesterday, and she is already a regular for me.

  32. Jessie says

    We don’t want to be blamed for any actual earthquakes which happen that day so it would be better to aim them somewhere.

    Should that be the Vatican or just the nearest place of worship?

  33. woodsong says

    Heh. My husbeast’s birthday. I’ll have to wear a tank-top & shorts, weather permitting…

  34. JNorris says

    Careful, just blogging about BoobQuake caused an earthquake in east Tennessee yesterday.

  35. Moggie says

    I plan to be cowering in my bed, afraid to step out.

    I’ll be in my bunk.

    The problem with this research is that Sedighi was addressing the domestic audience. Perhaps Iranian women’s bodies are just more seismically powerful than westerners’? Remember, “dressing immodestly” includes going out in public with your hair uncovered – if you’re a woman. Boobies optional.

  36. TGAP Dad says

    I LOVE the reference to Richard Dawson’s old schtick – dating myself here – on Match Game.

  37. Becca says

    @43 CE, do you either read Daria Joy or the SBTB blog? (I don’t read DJ – even I have some standards – but I do read SBTB, and that’s the only place I’ve heard that phrase.)

  38. Kraid says

    @MoonShark, #4:

    I mean sure, I can lift some heavy objects, but I’m not exactly causing tsunamis here.

    Well don’t feel too left out, because the increased cleavage display supposedly causes an increase in adultery and promiscuity (presumably that’s where you have an opportunity to enter the picture), which of course makes god angry. Eve tempts Adam, Adam fucks Eve lustfully, God gets cranky. Same old horseshit.

    Unfortunately this means that the actual “quake” part of BoobQuake 2010 might not occur immediately. Therefore I propose–and volunteer for–some experiments regarding the time delay between breast exposure, human sexual activity, and resulting seismic activity.

  39. frog, Inc. says

    This is actually a wonderful example of the theological mind, confusing metaphor and physics.

    See, the cretin was mostly talking about “political earthquakes” — T&A were causing the Green Revolution in Iran. I’d bet he’s at least partly right on that.

    But for the theo-cretin, since a political revolution is metaphorically an earthquake, you’re justified in saying that physical earthquakes have the same causes as social earthquakes. You might as well — all that matters is getting the sheep to follow, and they get metaphors better if you wrap them up as being non-metaphorical.

    It’s all the same, metaphors, similes, logic, and science — or it might as well be! Jesus IS malt-liquor and cookies! The trash-dump in Jerusalem IS God’s punishment! The theo-cretin really IS a cretin!

  40. Izzy says


    I’ll be in my bunk.

    Gah!! Now I want to watch the whole Firefly series (season… sob!) again! XD

  41. kjd1005 says

    anyone who wants to kick off the “Black Rock” fault near NYC drop me a line and I will purchase beer, tequilla, bagels and fixings.. and some potato salad… and herring in cream sauce!

    I’ll drive up along the river to the fault line and you can attempt to set it off while I fix lunch….

  42. Kaessa says

    I’m in. I don’t have very many cleavage revealing shirts, but I’m sure I can find something appropriate.