So it really does cause earthquakes!
“Many women who do not dress modestly … lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes,” Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi was quoted as saying by Iranian media. Sedighi is Tehran’s acting Friday prayer leader.
Suddenly, I feel exposed and embarrassed — not much action going on in Minnesota, I guess, while California and Japan are getting jiggy all the time. And oh boy, Iceland — was everyone getting wild there, or what?
Indonesia, despite being mostly Muslim, is clearly the adultery capital of the world.
Hmmm…Iran is in an earthquake zone and has had a lot damage from them. Iran also requires women to dress modestly. So who does Sedighi think is causing Iranian tremors?
If you’re out there SC: post that RuPaul comment again, and see if it flies this time ;D
Jadehawk, OM says
Reginald Selkirk says
Yes, but I’d rather not talk about it.
Well, he didn’t actually say anything about volcanoes. Those are caused by looking at feelthy peectures.
Iceland? Volcanoes are caused by Socialism, everybody knows that.
Jadehawk, USGS has a few earthquakes on record for North Dakota. Example.
So that wkikiansswers article you link to is wrong.
Well, Mr “Earthquake” Sedighi did not say (in the quote poopyhead quoted) that the location (spatial or temporal) was directly related to the ladies and men they lead astray, so it could be the case Iceland’s current georanting is caused by a bunch of randy ape proto-persons dancing around a monolith…
Glen Davidson says
I wonder if spreading and convergent zones also cause women to dress immodestly, explaining the odd coincidence of earthquakes and plate activity.
Or are we just wrong to suppose that geological explanations have anything to do with earthquakes at all?
Right. As opposed to young men who just go ahead and do whatever the fuck they want and suffer no consequences for it because shitheads like Sedickhead keep telling them it’s da wimminz’s fault.
Jadehawk, OM says
pfft, way to ruin a perfectly good joke with stoopid facts.
SC OM says
I blame the Creature Parka.
The Sedighi hypothesis stands.
Then again, maybe living in earthquake zones causes immodest dress.
Well, it is true that women in California tend to dress more immodestly than those in Minnesota. Particularly in winter, spring, and fall.
I thought Deepak Chopra’s meditation was the cause of earthquakes?
Immodestly-dressed women cause Deepak Chopra to “meditate”.
Egg Fu Laura says
Fred Phelps’ philosophical doppelganger? Scary.
It´s amusing to see all the retarded conservative christians getting their hackles up in the Yahoo news comments. There´s quite some talk about the US turning into a communist dictatorship. I know I´m only and Old European, but did I miss something there?
I just saw in the Danish newspaper Politiken (in Danish only, and warning: contains an obscene image) that according to Rush Limbaugh the Eyjafjallajökull eruption is God’s punishment for Obama’s healthcare reform. God has really lousy aim.
BEDEMIR: And that, my liege, is how we know the Earth to be banana-shaped.
ARTHUR: This new learning amazes me, Sir Bedemir. Explain again how sheeps’ bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes.
BEDEMIR: Oh, certainly, sir.
Wasn’t aware Pat Robertson had relatives in Iran!
You should the orgies going on here in California.
Surveys have shown that New Zealand women are the sluttiest on Earth.
So there must be something in it.
An Icelandic acquaintance once described Icelandic activities to me: “In the summer, there is hiking and f*cking. In winter, there is no hiking”.
Sounds like they were due for a smiting!
Doug Little says
What happens in Iceland stays in Iceland.
Oh, by the way, here one more person with a god complex:
A primary source for this would be useful. I read this claim somewhere yesterday (also unsourced (as I recall)), and am sceptical. Some trivial Generalissimo Google™ searching suggests the original was some satire:
Not quite the same, but it’s easy to imagine how it could mutate.
I was in Iceland 2 weeks before the eruption (I swear it isn’t my fault!) and I didn’t see any scantily clad folks (male or female). Although, considering it was cold as hell and snowing all three days, I guess that isn’t a surprise!
Maybe Deepak Chopra had a really big sneeze or something?
God only employs geological disasters like earthquakes and volcanoes in areas with active fault lines. He uses mudslides in places where development has left the land without root systems to hold things together. He sends fires to dry areas with frequent thunder storms, and he uses hurricanes on warm, coastal areas. Now, areas with the greatest concentrations of godless liberals, who we all know are secretly Satan worshipers, God chooses to punish them by making them stand back and watch in horror as all of this happens everywhere else. (I’m looking at you, New England.)
Brownian, OM says
Tsk. Stop thinking like a scientist. God is a metaphor. Earthquakes are a metaphor. Deepak Chopra is a metaphor. The important thing to realise out of all of this is that atheists are wrong, somehow.*
(*Sorry for that. I’m looking to change careers and hoping I can get a cushy job writing HuffPo articles in between bong hits, so I’ve gotta practice my inanity.)
Armand K. says
Oh, couldn’t these religious nut cases for once agree on something?!
I thought it was established, once and for all, that earthquakes are caused by gays… and atheists… Not that I like it (it makes me twice as guilty as most others after all), but facts are facts and have to be accepted whether one likes them or not. Right?
But, you might want to check with old Rita Chopra on that one. Deepak’s been registering on gaydar for quite a while.
Not much action in the United Kingdom either, but it is a well established fact that we would rather have a cup of tea.
Wow! It looks like he did. Here is a link to the video and a (partial) transcript. I haven’t listened to the video (I get an irresistible urge to punch my monitor everytime I hear the nitwit’s voice), but the transcript says (my emboldening):
I’m off now to eat my hat for dinner. It’s leather, I’ll try to pretend it’s bacon.
Alan B says
No. Sedighi is wrong. I have a theory that Islam causes volcanoes:
Which country has the highest Muslim population?
Which country has the largest number of active volcanoes?
(202 million. 12.9% of the the world’s Muslims, 16% of the Earth’s 850 active volcanoes*.)
Coincidence? I think not.
(* On land. There are more active volcanoes under water!)
Doug Little says
Is everyone sure that it is not His Noodly Appendage&trade that has touched Iceland and it is in fact a beer volcano that has erupted. I waiting for reports of a stripper factory to spontaneously pop into existence anytime soon. There must be lots of pirates up there to have received such a blessing from his Noodlyness. Ramen.
Um, no? Your inanity is fine. It’s your sanity we wonder about… ;-)
Hmm… I wonder what the east coast was doing that one time it had an earthquake.
Well, I am wondering what sort of movie they are filming in the upstairs apartment…
Brownian, OM –
Pfffft… are you kidding me? You didn’t even use the word “quantum” once.
Hey, the accuracy of the big guy’s aim is apocryphal.
Given the extent of the universe, of course, it’s reasonably impressive for him to be hitting the correct planet.
Everyday Atheist says
@ Glen D. @ 10
Uhhhh…huh-huh. You said, “spreading and convergent zones.” Uhh huh-huh.
#35: I found that link too. Only, I’ve never actually heard Rush Limbaugh “speak” (for lack of a better word), so I couldn’t tell if it was him.
I guess it’s possible that God woke up, saw the healthcare bill being passed, and decided to punish those who have had free healthcare for 50 years. God really doesn’t come off very well when described by these loons.
Gregory Greenwood says
Yeah, but you would never dare say that about musli… oh.
Gregory Greenwood says
This Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi chap’s ‘logic’ is depressingly familiar. Everything is, of course, the fault of those temptress vixens. Corrupting poor innocent young men. Leading the little lambs astray. And causing earthquakes. Because Allah is weird that way…or something. The idea that the men should demonstrate some modicum of self control (not to mention that there is no causative link between culturally specific concepts of immorality and earthquakes) is completely alien to him.
With mindless misogyny so inground into some Islamic cultures I fear that it will be several decades before women enjoy anything approaching the tiniest fragment of respect, let alone equal rights, in the Islamic world.
Why don’t you ever make fun of /autocomplete snark
Iceland is the home of the Huldufólk: sex elves that live out in the wilderness and “visit” women camping alone. Which explains all the geothermal activity.
Just love the results of Google translate on that Danish article about Limbaugh’s latest idiocy.
Further down, we find this:
Comedy gold, I think.
PZ, awesome Hemingway reference in the post title there. I just read For Whom the Bell Tolls, and already I’m running into a reference that would’ve completely escaped me without notice three weeks ago.
First, Haiti. (Chopra will have to give up his claim now.)
What next? Superhurricanes taking out New York City?
…and does anyone really believe Pillhead Limbaugh??
Well, Iceland does have a lesbian Prime Minister. If a lack of modesty causes earthquakes, does homosexuality cause volcanic eruptions?
Rick Miller says
So, huge masses of the earth’s crust jostle each other around more or less, depending on whether the local tribe of hairless apes requires the ones without dangly bits to wear a bag over their head?
Teh stoopid! It burns!
I’m waaaay late to this party. Bradkhall #21 beat me to the solution. WJS
Iceland outlawed strip shows last month.
I think not!
They were too late to stop Eyjafjallajökull, but at least they may prevent Katla from screwing us all!
'Tis Himself, OM says
The Big Guy In The Sky has an unhealthy interest in sex.
Rick Miller @53 wins the Perspective Award.
New Zealand is often referred to as “the Shaky Isles”.
[Buffs fingernails modestly]
Right. No stripper factories. That ruins the hypothesis it’s a beer volcano.
More wishful thinking destroyed by cold, hard science.
Those Vikings love a good party, but nothing seems to happen in Denmark and Norway; maybe the Icelandic Vikings have a special portal to a different world?
Has there been a major earthquake in Iran recently? Earthquakes should be pretty common in that part of the world; maybe the loon was just trying to scare women into hiding themselves better. I imagine Allah looking down and going “shit! those butt-ugly bitches aren’t covering up again! RRRRaaaaar! Time to kill off a few of them with an earthquake – how many times have I got to tell them I don’t want to see their ugly bodies!” Gee, and I’m the one who gets into trouble for saying things like “yeah, of course that one makes you look fat – they all do”.
How’s this for a solution to Mr. Sedighi’s problem. First let him contribute to a sperm bank so that he can have children. Then castrate him to help him control his vile urges. Then voila! no volcanos.
What geological disaster is associated with men dressing immodestly?
No wonder men in those countries have to keep women so subjugated – turns out the very existence of vaginas is powerful enough to keep all European airspace shut down for days.
Halter top season is ten months long in Houston and there are no earthquakes at all. We must be too far from the tectonic hot pants.
I can’t eat bacon while Rush Limbaugh is talking, it makes me feel icky and cannibally.
Come now, California makes PERFECT sense. They have San Francisco!
I don’t fucking get it. Seriously. Explain this one to me.
On one hand we have these misogynistic, alpha-male wankers, who quite literally believe that men are superior to women in every way possible, and that a womans singular purpose on this planet is to serve man for all eternity (Genesis 3:16 et.al.).
For some reason members of this allegedly superior sex are easily lead astray by “women who do not dress modestly”, which by Iranian standards means dressing like a Ninja, and not in the good way.
Al this of course spurred on by an ancient, omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient and infallible being, who for some reason fucked up hilariously and repeatedly. If I was an old testament god and someone had written the expose on my stupidity and clumsiness that is the holy texts of the Abrahamic traditions, there would be divine retribution, like you would not believe!
Parasites, latching onto instances of human tragedy to hijack reason and further their own selfish agendas.
Many women who do not dress modestly … lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society,
So then, mandatory estrogen patches for the young men of Iran as an earthquake-prevention measure?
I see dollar signs and an opportunity for real estate development and revitalization. Forget building demolition –bring on the whores. Earthquakes on demand, a new business for the new millennium.
Aww darn it. I guess us people in the netherlands are just a bunch of prudes then, despite all the wonderful stuff o’reilly has managed to say about one of our cities.
Maybe the previous generations were doing better than us?
Or do floods not count?
Adelaide, Australia had a teeny-tiny earthquake the other day.
(3.8, rattled the windows for about 10 seconds, could have been mistaken for a very loud truck or unnaturally long thunder)
I suppose it must have been caused by women wearing skirts above the knee or something.
Probably just a low cut evening gown on the dicktor scale
Interview with the Teabagger
Marie the Bookwyrm says
To #48–Wow. I’ve never thought much of camping before. But suddenly I have the urge to buy a tent and a backpack and head for Iceland. :)
What happens in Iceland stays in Iceland.
Continental Europe wishes.
Egg Fu Laura says
If god had any sense of irony, there’d be a volcano under the Vatican.
Seriously, vagina-worship has got to stop. There’s nothing “special” or “magical” or “holy” that needs “protecting” or “saving” and that needs to stay “pure and chaste” down there. It’s a weird little hole that has its own Ph balance. Take it easy, mullahs, priests, and rabbis.Just take it easy.
Where does one buy these? Are they only for youngish women, or can anyone wear them, even chubby middle aged types?
I’m not so sure it’s worship, exactly. Worship might actually be a step up from the present paranoid weirdness and geologic instability.
Kinsey (in the 2004 biopic of the same name) ascribes a very similar statement to his incredible prig of a father, to lampoon him.
In terms of this discussion I believe we should all think of the vagina as a volcano.
Vulvas, vaginas, volcanos
remarkable ontological alliteration, proves the existence of god for sure.
Take my word for it
Well, Iceland is… Iceland.
Other countries have female singers and detective movies.
Iceland has Bjork and Jar City.
(If you haven’t seen Jar City, let’s just say that it’s the only crime movie I know in which you’re already freaked out when the cop is just having dinner at home and chatting. His favorite dish, apparently, is mutton head).
The eruptions you get from that are not –repeat, not– vulcanoes.
But it might feel that way.
John Morales says
scooterKPFT you forgot Vulvania, Dr. Phibes’ assistant.
SC OM says
They’re only for the true fashion plate.
Which is better than thinking of the vagina as a sheath, ie something you store a sword in when you’re not using it in order to keep it/you safe.
That’s where the word comes from apparently, the Latin word for sheath.
I’m not sure what the sword is supposed to represent, but if it’s what I believe it does, here’s one good example of misogynistic etymology.
Friendly greetings from Belgium… you know, that flat country that along with The Netherlands has legal marriage for same-sex couples, women walking around wearing what they jolly well wish, the occasional nude beach, legal prostitution and pornography and very nice poster campaigns for the latest lingerie or swimwear line.
Last time we had a tremor (I wouldn’t even call it an earthquake) here is more than a decade ago and papers were going on for days about the “tens of thousands of Euros in property damage” (you know, loose tiles and such)
Alan B says
derivation of the word you are thinking about:
(no mention of swords …)
so, we’re almost at 100 comments and no one used the word ‘subduction’? what’s the matter with you people?
Okay, which one of you naughty West Australians is reponsible?
I am god. I caused the volcano with my rage. How dare you doubt me. Haven’t you seen x-files?
I don’t want or need your “health” care — which is mostly a scam to make me pay the “medical” bills for obese should’ve-died-long-ago morons who spend their lived inflaming their arteries with toxic fats and sugars, rotting their livers with ethyl alcohol and breaking their bones while engaging in reckless, environmentally hazardous motorsports. What really enraged me was the claim that forcing 32 million people to buy health insurance was a gift to those of us who will now be thrown in prison — along with thousands of others already there for (ironically) distributing the very same drugs doctors require some children to take — for refusing to buy this so-called “health” insurance.
You betcha I’m so pissed the earth shook and we shut down the skies over Europe.
JohnM55 @ 34
Drinking tea – which is addictive, since it contains caffeine – causes floods. Everyone knows that.
You’ll have to do much better than that to win a Rory Award.
Subduction. There. I used the word. Impressions in the jungle soil are caused by elephants feet. Why do elephants move their feet? Are elephants sentient?
Magnetic resonance. There. I used the word. Just because it is fun to use. Non-equilibrium dynamics of disordered electrons. Used that word to, too.
What caused the big bang. There. I asked that question, just because it is fun to ask. T-6. There. I used that collection of letters. Just because they are fun to use, and because I got a wrong-number phone call from near there. Which qualified me for a peak from DHS. Surely they have better things to do than concern themselves over the flavor of my jesting. No? And surely I jest? No?
Earthquakes ! – no prob. Just employ a few sheeps bladders. Works every time.
Iceland obviously got the treatment because of their heinous attitude to allowing dragon-riding!
I’m not sure which breed causes the largest earthquake, however… ;)
Alan B says
Au contraire. Well done you people!!
For Iceland constructive (or divergent) plate boundary would be correct – subduction occurs elsewhere.
Alan B says
Reliable sources are difficult to find for dragons, partly because field work is considered particularly difficult. Some of the few useful sources are the extensive papers by Rowley:
(Charlie Weasley about the first challenge of the Triwizard Tournament.)
Unfortunately, no mention of earthquakes …