When I was visiting Iowa, I learned about the UNIFI blog, and the students told me that they have a weekly series called Blasphemy Friday, sort of like the Friday Cephalopod, only with heresy instead of molluscs. I thought that was brilliant, so I decided to steal their idea (it’s OK, atheist, you know), and just change it around a little, and do it on Sunday instead of Friday for extra sacriliciousness, and I’m going to focus on blasphemous imagery.
There’s real peril here. After all, if these images are so horrific that they make gods weep in anger, then think what they’ll do to minds of mere mortals: they will blast your brain and sear your soul, and turn you into gibbering feral fiends wandering the streets and committing acts of rapine, robbery, and ruffianism. Now I know most of you are already atheists so that won’t change anything for you, but there could be innocents wandering by…so I’ll always put these blasphemous pictures below the fold. It’ll be your choice. Pass by, or click through and…suffer the consequences.
Behold the sacrilegious t-shirt of Justin Surber.
Too late, you’re doomed. You’ve seen the Shirt of Justin. This is kind of like that video in The Ring, only instead of seeing a creepy drowned girl, you’re going to have visions of Justin and his shirt, shambling ever closer, until after a week, he grabs your soul and turns you into a godless zombie, your face contorted into a sneer of superiority forevermore.
Justin was going to have a picture of himself wearing the shirt in his high school yearbook, a plan the administrators squelched. After all, including such a picture, which innocent children might glimpse by just flipping through the book, would rank the Arlington High School 2010 Yearbook up there with the Necronomicon of the mad Arab Abdul Alhazred as a talisman of insanity and evil, and explaining that to the PTA would be so awkward.
I guess it’s better that the school official acquire a reputation for being censorious bluenosed pissants with no appreciation of a classic philosophical concept than that they be progenitors of an unholy madness. Now instead of appearing in a small book with limited circulation and a very specialized, limited audience, the Shirt of Justin is featured in a blog that will get millions of hits all around the world. Bwahahahaha! They never considered the unintended consequences of their action!