Once again, Texas leads the way in absurdities. One kook has decided he doesn’t like to say hello, and has convinced the whole county to go along with him. Can you guess why?

In this friendly little ranching town, “hello” is wearing out its welcome. And Leonso Canales Jr. is happy as heck.

At his urging, the Kleberg County commissioners on Monday unanimously designated “heaven-o” as the county’s official greeting. The reason: “hello” contains the word “hell.”

For some reason, I now really want Michelle Obama to visit the Hellespont to collect seashells and read Percy Shelley, just so it can be reported in the Kleberg County newspapers.