It’s been a very long and busy day here in Los Angeles — I’ve had a tour of USC, I ate a King Torta, I sat around for a long time in very warm black robes, I had a wonderful dinner with some of the faculty here, and oh, yeah, I gave a commencement speech. These events are always fun…I’m not a big fan of ceremony and ritual, but commencement is one of those events where the students can’t keep themselves from smiling, and families are all there whooping and cheering.
So, anyway, I’ve got to get some sleep, and then it’s an early morning off to the airport to fly back home, so I’m just putting my little speech below the fold.
I am genuinely honored that the students of this university have asked me to speak at this important event in their lives. I heard that last year, standing here at the lectern, the previous class had a Nobel prize winner giving the commencement address. I apologize for my lack of stature, but look on the bright side: he talked for almost an hour, while I promise considerably more brevity. But, unfortunately, I also have to explain a little bit about who I am.
I am a biologist at a small liberal arts university in the midwest. I do a little research on developmental biology, and I do a lot of teaching. A LOT of teaching. Of course, even a lot of teaching means we only turn out 30 or 40 biology graduates a year, so I’d be surprised if any of you here have ever taken a class from me. I’m better known because I also run a rather popular weblog and write articles for magazines and newspapers where I do a couple of things: as an extension of my teaching, I try to communicate the excitement of science to a lay audience, and as a public intellectual, I take great pleasure in slaughtering sacred cows. Some think I perhaps take a little bit too much pleasure in not just slaughtering, but the long, slow, brutal vivisection of the sacred, but that’s just who I am.
And the responsibility of the public intellectual is what I want to say a few words about to you. You are about to receive a diploma that gives you the potential to be one of us, too.
A public intellectual is the modern equivalent of the court jester — the wise fool who could say anything to the king, because no one would ever take him seriously as a rival for the throne. If the concept is too medieval for you, look at 21st century America, where the best news commentary on television is offered by a couple of comedians on a small cable network. It’s the same principle: people on the edge of the herd, whether it’s the mass media or the general electorate, are unconstrained by the group norms and are given greater freedom to speak out and express themselves. The weirdos, by their very nature, have more latitude, and we also institutionalize the principle in ideas like academic freedom.
Did I just call you all weirdos? I’m sorry, yes I did. You’re all receiving advanced degrees from USC, and that automatically makes you all a bunch of nerds. You should be proud.
Now wait just a minute, you may protest, this is serious business. You’ve been working hard. You’ve been extracting the secrets of life, the universe, and everything. You may have accumulated a lot of debt. You have a mission, and you are thinking about the lab or the clinic or both right now. Your plan may be a life of sober scholarship, solid contributions to your field, and professional dignity, and maybe a little prosperity and security — and that diploma is a key to all of that.
That’s all true, too. The door has opened for you to cloister yourselves within your disciplines and do all that you’ve been trained to do, and I hope you succeed at that.
But there’s something more. You are also the lucky few, the ones with talent and discipline and the fortunate opportunity to pursue science and medicine, and you have acquired another kind of debt: you have been granted this privilege, and now you owe society repayment. We need you to make the world a better place. To quote a comic book character, with great power comes great responsibility.
Power? That diploma may not give you political power, or the ability to beat up criminals, and it may not even guarantee you a job, sorry to say, but it does represent something significant: it’s intellectual capital. You will have acquired some small measure of authority and credibility with that acknowledgment of your accomplishments, and I’m here to tell you to spend it.
I’m not going to tell you specifically how to spend it. Many of you may disagree with how I personally use my academic freedom, and that’s fine — I’m a strong believer in stochastic processes, and while individuals may go off in directions we don’t like, I’m confident that the aggregate activity of large numbers of smart people expressing themselves in public will end up making the world a better place.
So let me just give you a few general guidelines.
– Create more smart people. The best thing you can do for the future is to encourage and enable more people to follow you, by teaching, mentorship, example, or support. This is basic: you all know that science is a collaborative enterprise, so you should have had this dunned into your head by now. I should also warn you that your alumni association will be contacting you regularly from now on to remind you of your duty.
– Here’s another one you may take for granted, but I assure you, much of the world outside your circle of nerds does not: Criticize. It’s one of the most powerful tools in the scientific toolbox, and self-criticism and constant testing and evaluation of our ideas is how we make our understanding greater. If you haven’t gotten out of the lab much in the last few years, you may be surprised at how much shock and dismay you can generate with the simple words, “I think you’re wrong, and here’s why.” Don’t be shy about using them!
– Go ahead, be offensive. I’m offensive all the time, and I’ve got reams of hate mail to prove it. I say that women should have the right to decide what to do with their own bodies, and are just as good at science as men, and the angry mail streams in. I say that gay people should have the same rights as straight people, and I have offended a vocal horde right there. I say that all religion is foolish tosh and an affront to reason and the dignity of humankind, and boy, do I get outraged letters. And it’s all good. You don’t have to agree with everything I say, because the role of the public intellectual is to spark the argument and provoke change, not to dictate it. Do it.
– More generally, communicate. All these years of training have stuffed your brains with arcane knowledge — you know amazing things that few other people understand. You already know about the expectation that you will write your knowledge up in the form of arcane articles for even more arcane journals, but you should also feel an obligation to explain it all to everyone else. I don’t mean this as an excuse to be a deadly bore at parties, but that you should put serious effort into explaining the significance of what you do to people like your grandmother, or the readers of your local paper, or the president of the United States.
– One final admonition. What is going on here is a small miracle. You are all going to be receiving a nearly identical piece of parchment that says you are all graduates of the Keck School of Medicine. Yet, did you notice, you did not have to sign a loyalty oath to enroll here? There is no USC Dogma you are expected to adhere to. Some of you may have immersed yourself in such different specialties that you scarcely understand what your equally specialized peers say about their work, or you may disagree with each others’ positions. You have different politics, different religious beliefs, different cultural backgrounds, and I think you can even go so far as to decide to root for the UCLA Bruins, and they won’t revoke your degree. I look out at you all sitting there in your identical black uniforms and ridiculous hats, and am amused at the incongruity, because the one thing I can know about you all is that you are intellectually diverse and independent.
You are graduates of in institution that has encouraged you to think for yourself. I want you all to continue doing that.
And what’s more, I want you all to think very loudly, so the rest of us can hear.
Thank you all, and congratulations.
Good speech. If you get an invite from the University of Rochester, you should come here. You can make jokes about the snow. We’ll laugh, I promise:)
Fantastic, but you forgot to tell them to wear sunscreen
A very stirring speech, but I want to hear more about the King Torta.
From the perspective of an MD, that was an excellent address.
I have forgotten who told me this when I graduated from Med. School many years ago: “He said, You have received a “007” degree.” What’s that?? That degree gives the holder a license to kill. Pretty weird comment but at a basic level, it is true.
Ok, I will.
Wow
I wanna hear something like that when I get my MD
Great speech, PZ! Lots of food for thought. I wish I could have heard you give it.
wonderful speech :)
‘Intelligent’ designer wrote:
I wish I could believe that, Randy.
Slightly off topic, but this reminds me of the loyalty oath I *did* have to sign over here at UCLA. Fucking McCarthy-era holdovers…
What– No platitudes? Good on you!
Very nicely done, PZ
Nice speech. If I ever graduate, I hope to hear one as good. I’m sure the students appreciate the brevity without sacrificing content.
Ok. I will.
Oh, get stuffed, Stimpson. You don’t think, period.
Didn’t set theory already address that particularly conundrum? Something to do with a guy named Bertrand Russell, I believe…
Another great quote for my list of favorite quotes:
all religion is foolish tosh and an affront to reason and the dignity of humankind
— PZ Myers
PZ, I hope you publish all your future speeches here.
@ 1
The people of upstate NY may laugh at you when you make a snow joke, but if you’re from the South, we secretly hate you and make plans to flood your economy with skilled labor!
Nice address, PZ. When I received my B.A., an old Kennedy speech writer delivered an hour address–it was made much longer by the parents in the crowd hissing and booing at its anti-war message–but I liked it. It was neat to watch, and I stood in solidarity with him in the end.
When I earned my M.A., one of the speakers–an Oklahoma judge of some kind–told us that most of us were going to grow old and be mediocre, some would die losers, and a few stragglers might make a difference. While probably technically true, it was rhetorically stupid. Thou Shalt Know Thy Audience!
On a weird note, when I graduated high school, the valedictorian gave a speech about Johnny Quest. I love J.Q., but I hated the speech. It was weak.
But I am waiting for the speech when I get the PhD. Maybe it will be as good as this was. Maybe…
I think you’re wrong PZ and here’s why.
Oh, the /evil laugh/ “tag” I used at the end of my first paragraph didn’t show up. I wonder what the program thought it was when it swallowed it. Maybe it will get burped back up later.
s/particularly/particular
You’re being inane, Stimpson. Want to get banned? Stay out of this thread, or you will be.
I think you’re wrong Randy and here’s why.
That was indeed a very good speech. I guess I won’t hear anything remotely as good as that when, or if, I graduate.
Great speech. I wish I’d been there too.
*stands and applauds*
Seriously, Professor, good speech. :-)
awesome speach, AND it included a spiderman reference (among other things) :-D
You miss the point completely; The intellectual iconoclast says” I think you’re wrong and here’s why”, not “I think you’re wrong and…uhhh.YEAH! Pwnd!”. The first debates fact, the second is basically an iconoclast nowhere but in their own pointed little heads.
I think you’re an idiot Randy and here’s why.
Great speech, PZ. Any chance that there might be a video floating around?
Excellent speech! I’m afraid that I’ve got to be rather cynical of speeches made by administrators – rather than working scientists – at University ceremonies and meetings, but that one would have made me sit up and listen, and then cheer.
I’ve just been reading John Gribbin’s book “The Fellowship” about the natural philosophers of seventeenth century Britain who founded the Royal Society (of London, for the advancement of science), and their determination that knowledge should be solidly grounded in experiment, and the progress that came about because of this. They had to cope with a lot of objection from creative idiocy not founded in observation then, too.
(Yes, I remember Gribbin’s “Jupiter Effect” wobble of 1974. He seems embarrassed by it now!)
The relevance? “Nullius in Verba” – the Latin motto of the Royal Society. Apparently from “Nullius addictus iurare in verba magistri” meaning “I am not bound to believe in the word of any master”. No sacred cows.
Inspiring speech!
Did you get any tacos while you were out there? The tacos are but a few of the great treasures of the west coast.
Were there any shocked gasps when you told them about religion being foolish tosh? :D
I hope you offended some god-naggers.
Have an uneventful flight home.
So this is the kind of impassioned speech I would have heard had I stayed the course, and went on to Med school? Unfortunately, some proteins came calling, and I ended up becoming a molecular biologist, listening to the worst possible commencement speech within this galactic sector, and because of a freak May shower with no umbrella, I was completely drenched. Still, it’s all worth it…I think.
Professor Myers,
1) Nice balance in your approach to the speech; 2) Leave Intelligent Randy alone. He can’t help himself, and it reminds us that there, but for the grace of me, go we; 3) I’m still waiting for your response to the Gurgle Gurgle incident. Mike Judge must pay.
fuck the tacos and tortas, did you visit the Natural History Museum?
I heard it was completely redone a few years back, but never got a chance to see it after.
If ever there was a more discombobulated commencement speech delivered at an institution of higher learning, Professor Myers, it has escaped my pervue. At best, in my estimation, your address was the very height of modern day sophism . Press reviews, I’m sure will bear me out here.
Early on, in your address to the graduating students at Keck School of Medicine, you described yourself as, “…a public intellectual…” Who or whom was it, I yearn to know, that bestowed that descriptive upon your stunted public countenance? Or, is that merely a personal designation, spawned from your self-absorbed delusions of grandeur? Shouldn’t you first remedy your miscomprehension as to the usage of, “its, and, it’s” before having the gall to describe yourself as an “intellectual?” In fact, increduously, you twice more, in your address, alluded to your standing in the academic community as that of an intellectual.
In the course of your “address,” you also said this: The weirdos, by their very nature, have more latitude, and we also institutionalize the principle in ideas like academic freedom.” Shouldn’t that have been: “…in ideas such as academic freedom?” Later on, you said: “…or you may disagree with each other’s position.” Shouldn’t that have been: “…with one another’s position?” And then you said: “…because the one thing I can know about you all is that you are intellectually diverse and independant.” Isn’t that two things?
And, “stochastic processes?” How many days ago did you come upon that word in the dictionary? Did you expect most of the kids in your hearing to be familiar with that word?
If ever there was a more discombobulated commencement speech delivered at an institution of higher learning, Professor Myers, it has escaped my pervue. At best, in my estimation, your address was the very height of modern day sophism . Press reviews, I’m sure will bear me out here.
Early on, in your address to the graduating students at Keck School of Medicine, you described yourself as, “…a public intellectual…” Who or whom was it, I yearn to know, that bestowed that descriptive upon your stunted public countenance? Or, is that merely a personal designation, spawned from your self-absorbed delusions of grandeur? Shouldn’t you first remedy your miscomprehension as to the usage of, “its, and, it’s” before having the gall to describe yourself as an “intellectual?” In fact, increduously, you twice more, in your address, alluded to your standing in the academic community as that of an intellectual.
In the course of your “address,” you also said this: The weirdos, by their very nature, have more latitude, and we also institutionalize the principle in ideas like academic freedom.” Shouldn’t that have been: “…in ideas such as academic freedom?” Later on, you said: “…or you may disagree with each other’s position.” Shouldn’t that have been: “…with one another’s position?” And then you said: “…because the one thing I can know about you all is that you are intellectually diverse and independant.” Isn’t that two things?
And, “stochastic processes?” How many days ago did you come upon that word in the dictionary? Did you expect most of the kids in your hearing to be familiar with that word?
Bob, they may have educated you, but I see little to convince me that it did you any good, and even less as to how it may have benefited the rest of us.
If ever there was a more discombobulated commencement speech delivered at an institution of higher learning, Professor Myers, it has escaped my pervue. At best, in my estimation, your address was the very height of modern day sophism . Press reviews, I’m sure will bear me out here.
Early on, in your address to the graduating students at Keck School of Medicine, you described yourself as, “…a public intellectual…” Who or whom was it, I yearn to know, that bestowed that descriptive upon your stunted public countenance? Or, is that merely a personal designation, spawned from your self-absorbed delusions of grandeur? Shouldn’t you first remedy your miscomprehension as to the usage of, “its, and, it’s” before having the gall to describe yourself as an “intellectual?” In fact, increduously, you twice more, in your address, alluded to your standing in the academic community as that of an intellectual.
In the course of your “address,” you also said this: The weirdos, by their very nature, have more latitude, and we also institutionalize the principle in ideas like academic freedom.” Shouldn’t that have been: “…in ideas such as academic freedom?” Later on, you said: “…or you may disagree with each other’s position.” Shouldn’t that have been: “…with one another’s position?” And then you said: “…because the one thing I can know about you all is that you are intellectually diverse and independant.” Isn’t that two things?
And, “stochastic processes?” How many days ago did you come upon that word in the dictionary? Did you expect most of the kids in your hearing to be familiar with that word?
If ever there was a more discombobulated commencement speech delivered at an institution of higher learning, Professor Myers, it has escaped my pervue. At best, in my estimation, your address was the very height of modern day sophism . Press reviews, I’m sure will bear me out here.
Early on, in your address to the graduating students at Keck School of Medicine, you described yourself as, “…a public intellectual…” Who or whom was it, I yearn to know, that bestowed that descriptive upon your stunted public countenance? Or, is that merely a personal designation, spawned from your self-absorbed delusions of grandeur? Shouldn’t you first remedy your miscomprehension as to the usage of, “its, and it’s” before having the gall to describe yourself as an “intellectual?” In fact, increduously, you twice more, in your address, alluded to your standing in the academic community as that of an intellectual.
In the course of your “address,” you also said this: The weirdos, by their very nature, have more latitude, and we also institutionalize the principle in ideas like academic freedom.” Shouldn’t that have been: “…in ideas such as academic freedom?” Later on, you said: “…or you may disagree with each other’s position.” Shouldn’t that have been: “…with one another’s position?” And then you said: “…because the one thing I can know about you all is that you are intellectually diverse and independant.” Isn’t that two things?
And, “stochastic processes?” How many days ago did you come upon that word in the dictionary? Did you expect most of the kids in your hearing to be familiar with that word?
very cool sir, (echoing similar comments) would love to here a speech here at UCSD!
spamming dick @ 37,38,40,41,
Got any actual argument to make?
And PZ,what’s a tosh?
Oh wow PZ this was a great speech! I really wish you had given the commencement speech at Morris when I graduated. Instead I had to sit through some sort of forgettable Minnesota politician who was basically just stumping for votes and completely neglected the fact that he was delivering a commencement speech.
@ Bob Evans-aka Metsguy #38
I am positive that anyone who has a bachelor’s degree in Biology, Math, Physics or really any sort of science is going to know exactly what stochastic process means – but clearly this does not apply for people who majored in being a twit.
Sheesh, Bob – “stochastic”? Those “kids” just finished medical school. They’d better know that one.
@Ichthyic: Do *what* to the tacos and tortas? You haven’t been watching “American Pie” have you? A good heapin’ helpin’ of Tabasco sauce in the tacos and tortas should cure that priestly habit.
Either, Bob Evans-aka Metsguy was planning to spam this thread with his stoopid comment, or he simply lacks an important ability: patience.
This might also explain why he doesn’t dig deeper into the important stuff but keeps nagging on grammar.
Bob Evans-aka Metsguy, would you at least try and back up your claims regarding the “correct” and “intellectual” grammar?
Inquiring minds want to know.
Four times a fool. A zero is not increased by adding it to itself, or don’t they teach that to BA candidates?
Good speech, PZ. Short, free of platitudes, to the point. What a commencement speech should be. Oh, and did I mention it was short?
Wow, Bob. You criticize PZ’s excellent speech on nothing more than an accusation that he’s not an intellectual and grammatical nitpicking.
1. You’d understand that PZ is an intellectual if you’d understood the point of his speech.
2. You nitpick grammar when yours is way, way worse. You also try to sound intelligent by using words you think are impressive.
3. 1 and 2 just make you look incredibly retarded.
Hey Metsguy…it might behoove you to figure out this complicated thing called the “interwebs” before you chastise someone else about their intellectual status. Or their grammar. Or whatever else got up your ass enough to make sure that we all got it 4 times in a row.
Bob, if you’re going to criticise someone else’s writing, you ought to at least try to do it without misspelling, malapropism, and grammatical error. Your pomposity and ineptness are amusing… the flooding, not so much.
Bob, before implying that PZ is using expressions such as “stochastic processes” he doesn’t really understand, may I respectfully draw your attention to the following.
According to my Shorter Oxford Dictionary “discombulate” is a verb that means “upset, disturb, disconcert.” Would you explain in what way PZ’s speech was disturbed, upset, or disconcerted?
I think you’ll find that “pervue” is in fact spelt “purview.”
While I’m being pedantic, “Who or whom” is grammatically incorrect, “whom” cannot be the subject of a sentence, “descriptive” should be “description,” “miscomprehension” should be “incomprehension” and “incredulous” should be “incredible.”
I wouldn’t expect “kids” to know what a stochastic process was, but graduate students?
The English language is a marvellous instrument. It’s such a pity you appear to be deaf to its subtleties.
PZ,
in case you read this from the airport or so,SB now actually manages to halt/near crash my Firefox,whereas the last few days it just slowed to a crawl,esp with the waiting for chartbeat.net/com.
And yeah,if the noble prize winner’s speech was an hour,yours looks pretty short !
How did they react to the “religion is foolish” bit?
Evans, it’s not “pervue”, it’s “purview”
And yes, I would expect those graduates to be familiar with the meaning and use of tHE word “stochastic”
Furthermore, as far as I can see,PZ’s uses of “it’s” are correct
Bob Evans: you sir, are an asshat. I don’t generally feed the trolls, but your putrid excretion demands an immediate and venomous retort. First of all, it’s and its are interchangeable – you heard me INTERCHANGEABLE – in a verbal address. Unless you can hear a difference in cadence or some sort of accent between the two, it was a typo which changes the speech not one bit and your pointing it out is merely a grasping at straws. You may be an english guru, or you may not, but there is nothing at all wrong with the phrases you cite, save that you don’t personally appreciate the style. You also misquote PZ when you say “with each other’s position” which IS grammatically incorrect, though the original is right. Finally, yes one would expect med-school students to be familiar with “stochastic processes” BUT that is NOT a word – it’s a phrase. If you’re going to criticize such things, you might at least make an effort to have a care about your own accuracy or you will only expose yourself as the pretentious simpleton you apparently are. What really is your trip anyway? Were you passed over and looking to vent your frustration that you could have delivered a more grammatically precise speech? If that’s the case, next time do everyone a favor and cry into a pillow and spare the rest of us your unpalatable bile.
And PZ: great speech! I agree with you that the scientifically literate among us need to do more to inform everyone else. You’re an inspiration to innumerable masses of people. Keep up the very good work!
Hey, Public Intellectual: I don’t think “dunned” means what you think it means.
Clap! Clap! Clap! Great Speech Dr. Myers
Maybe you could forward a copy of these links to all of the graduates so they can begin to contemplate the true magnitude of their priviledge and consequently their immense responsibility.
http://www.energybulletin.net/node/48895
And if you really want to welcome them to reality give them this.
http://www.wakeupamerika.com/PDFs/On-American-Sustainability.pdf
I think Bob Evans’ contribution was just a drive-by shooting,stupid in content but not spamming,its not very difficult to post 2 or 3 in a row with the current SB meltdown,done it myself.
The best graduation speech I’ve heard was that of high school valedictorian. She thanked one individual for all the lessons he had taught her: Randy, our custodian. It was true too. Randy was a great human being. I would have liked to watch everyone’s face while they listened to you. But I do feel a little left out. Can I be a weirdo too? Even though I’m just an elementary school teacher?
The English language bestowed it on him when Seed and the Guardian hired him as public intellectual. “Public intellectual” is not some grand claim about one’s intelligence; it’s just a job title. Someone employed to discuss ideas (especially ideas coming from academia) in the public arena simply is a public intellectual in as simple a way as someone employed to write reviews is a critic.
Also, LOL at your pseudo-sophisticated prose.
Rod @#53 Bravo
Bob, @#37, 38, 40 etc. It is some trick to be able to insert both feet into your mouth at the same time. Verbosity does not hide idiocy.
On The Speech
Corrected it for you. :)
On Bob Evens
When considered as a thing nothing is accumulative. Four reiterations of the same vacuity means a greater vacuity, and thus a greater nothing. Think of it as a double negative where the second negative is used to reinforce the first. What Evans was doing was demonstrating that math is not always directly translatable to fields outside of math.
Nasty case of the trolls today.
Nice, short and to the point address. Here’s to hoping more than a few of them actually exercise the gray matter. I’m sure it’ll be on YouTube by the end of the week. ;)
Tosh = nonsense. A lovely old English slang term which I’m glad to see PZ has picked up and is using. I would use it in the context of “what a load of old tosh!”.
While we’re looking at word meanings does anyone know where the use of “commencement” comes from? To me it means “beginning” but here it is used to mean “passing out” or “ending” in the way we would use “graduation”.
Isn’t language grand?
Shouldn’t you first remedy your miscomprehension as to the usage of, “its, and, it’s” before having the gall to describe yourself as an “intellectual?”
Shouldn’t you first remedy your miscomprehension as to the usage of “its” and “it’s” before having the gall to correct others? Where are these mistakes? Every instance of “it’s” is correctly used as a contraction of “it is” or “it has”, whilst “its” doesn’t appear at all.
Also, can you try to write normally? Your clumsy, pompous and overblown style doesn’t impress anyone.
From the Online Etymology Dictionary:
commence:
1314, from O.Fr. comencier, from V.L. *cominitiare, orig. “to initiate as priest, consecrate,” from L. com- “together” + initiare “to initiate.” The academic sense of commencement “action of taking a full degree,” is in M.E.
PZ as a priest! Father Myers …
That’s one way to get him to sign a treaty.
An “intellectual” here is not a title that needs to be bestowed, as it is a label, demonstrably appropriate for PZ, referring to a person who is noted in some relevant circle on the basis of their publicly disseminated thoughts, conclusions, scholarship, and mental effort. IE, the additive inverse of yourself.
*snicker*
No.
When your only tools are a hammer and yourself, everything looks like a nail.
PS:
You mean “purview?”
Bob Evans–I had breakfast at your place once,
near Cleveland OH, I think. It was OK.
This is the heart of your speech. Thanks PZ.
Fantastic speech.
Another guideline for Medicine students: speak up the role of animals in biomedical research… If you can root for the Bruins, you can surely come to our rescue when we are being firebombed by the ALF. So far, it has all been silence.
A public intellectual is the modern equivalent of the court jester — the wise fool who could say anything to the king… If the concept is too medieval for you, look at 21st century America, where the best news commentary on television is offered by a couple of comedians on a small cable network.
I’ll definitely give you credit for that.
This is a good commencement speech.
As for the President, these are the two best explanations I’ve found for how things got so screwed up:
http://www.kzoo.edu/polisci/dlipson/105/shogan.pdf
http://www.aei.org/event/1550 (This commentary by Jim Sleeper is a bit breathless, but read the first several paragraphs and it’s a pretty good liberal translation of Tanenhaus’s speech to a conservative audience: http://tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com/2007/12/06/american_conservatisms_origina/ )
Nerds of the world, unite! David Brooks is very scared of you:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/23/opinion/23brooks.html
Even before Bob Evans brought the phrase to everyone’s attention, I wanted to commend the use of “stochastic processes” in this. It’s (that’s a contraction for “it is”, Bob, no matter what you’ve been told) a concept that seems to be underappreciated in its (that’s a possessive pronoun, Bob) application to the social sciences.
As for the bestowing of descriptives (I’ll give him that much, “descriptive” is a valid substantive; it needn’t be “description” there), I think it sounds like Bob is itching to show off a scan of a Mensa card here, to show us who (or whom?) bestows such descriptives.
Thanks for posting this, PZ. I will play your speech in my head when the cliched fundie woo of my own commencement ceremony becomes too much to bear.
Someone up there has already asked: Is there by any chance a video available of this fabulous, crisp and succinct speech? I would like to share that with some of my friends at USC who did not get to go to the Commencement address.
PZ,
Beautiful.
Great address, and much appreciated. I received my PhD (in immunology) from a medical school last year, and the commencement address focused solely on the MDs. It completely ignoring us lowly PhDs, not to mention the students getting degrees in nursing, radiology, etc. The official photographer even left after the MDs were announced, before they hooded the PhDs. I left regretting that I had even gone to the ceremony. It makes me glad to read an address that acknowledges both. Thanks PZ!
That was very inspiring, PZ. So many thoughtful words in such a concise speech, I’m impressed.
I am sure that most of us here would be shouting, and stomping for an encore!
Excellent speech.
Is Bob Evans the new John Kwok?
(Oh – Nice address, PZ, as well.)
When my wife graduated from the local college (SUNY New Paltz), I was forced to listen to some New Jersey politician (Thomas Kean)- at least he rated a student Protest!
Two FRAKKING years before – they had……. Aiden Quinn.
Damn
I would probably have to suddenly become related to someone graduating locally should I ever find you speaking at a commencement in our area.
JC
Ver’ nice.
(Holds lighter aloft, makes metal/devil sign w/ fingers…)
hahaha
Robin @ 60: “Even though I’m just an elementary school teacher?”
There is no such thing as “just” an elementary school teacher or “just” a teacher of any kind. Teachers get such short shrift in our society and they are in fact so crucial to its success. Real teachers are rare and wonderful people. Please don’t ever think or speak of yourself as “just” an elementary school teacher! In life, as in so many other things, momentum can be of supreme importance and your contribution to a child’s life at such a critical point may be the factor that opens him or her up to a whole universe of possibilities. So, no more of this “just an elementary school teacher” if you please! :)
And PZ: great speech!
My brother went to Pervue, but thought West Lafayette was kind of a crappy town.
This message nicely counters the conservative stereotype of intellectuals as effete, elite and out of touch.
Poor Bob. Not only is he confused about every single zinger he tried to deliver, he also appears to be confused about the definition of “intellectual.”
Even if your fervent, pedantic wankfest hadn’t been wrong in every way, you’d still be a giant sack of fail.
This is why: perfect grammar and a large vocabulary are NOT synonymous with intellectualism. They certainly help one give the APPEARANCE of being an intellectual (to the ‘untrained eye,’ so to speak) , but they are by no means the substance. At best, they are icing to an intellectual’s cake.
Cake is still damn tasty without icing (though arguably not AS tasty) but eating spoonfuls of icing alone is inadvisable under any circumstances.
The cake is a lie.
We have to find out where Bob Evans went to high school before making that determination.
Cake is still damn tasty without icing (though arguably not AS tasty) but eating spoonfuls of icing alone is inadvisable under any circumstances.
I must vehemently disagree with that statement. There are few circumstances that could not be improved upon by the addition of spoonfuls of icing.
Carlie: You make my teeth hurt.
Rev: Your mum’s cake is a lie.
An enjoyable speech, thanks for the good read. Quoted my favorite part below.
Good stuff.
EXTRA! EXTRA! PZ MYERS PROCLAIMS BELIEF IN MIRACLES!
I am so jealous. Our spring commencement address was given by a former governor and U.S. Torture Czar who once lost an election to a corpse. And if you think that gives you a hint about how bad it was … you have no idea.
Actually, I got a lot of nice comments from people afterwards.
One thing: don’t take the “religion is tosh” comment out of context. Commencement speeches are for the students and families, so I wasn’t trying to antagonize anyone — so it was said in the spirit of “here are some things I believe that some people dislike, I want you all to be unafraid to say what you think, no matter what”.
One thing that concerned me a little bit was that there was an older couple front row and center who were particularly enthusiastic during all the prior bits where a prayer was said and the star-spangled banner was played — almost certainly regular believers. I was hoping I wouldn’t ruin the day for them, but they applauded even more enthusiastically when I was done and the fellow complimented my speech as we walked by on the way out.
Great speech. Criticize. Think loudly so others can hear. Excellent.
And if hell existed, there should be an especially cruel corner reserved for people who make a big blustering noise about someone else’s grammatical errors. Such a feeble way to try to provoke an argument.
Bob Evans on hearing Lincoln’s Gettysburg address:
RevBigDumbChimp @#89:
No, no! The cake is deliciously moist!
Oh could we stop piling on poor Bob already? I think 100 comments is enough to get the point across.
But can’t we just kick him a couple more times? Just a little? What if I poke at him with this very small stick? No?
Oh, fine.
*pouts and shuffles away*
Rey Fox never lets us have any fun. <snivel>
PZ, good speech. A nice continuation of your “question everything” lesson. I think just saying get out an do something, without specifying what, got you off the hook with the ideologues out there. After all, they could follow their ideology. Short speeches are nice.
Did they give you an honorary degree for your talk?
Magnificent speech, PZ.
Next time you do this, get someone to videotape it and put it up on YouTube. I’d love to have seen it.
It was taped, and someone is going to try and get it on youtube soon.
@ Tercel: We have to laugh at the snow. What the heck else are we going to do with it, paint? But hey, at least it’s lilac season!
He’s apparently a Mets fan too. What a loser.
Great speech.
Just as an aside, President Obama’s speech at the ASU in this morning’s NY Times.
This was a triumph. My sincere congratulations.
YAY for this!
Bah. I botched that reference.
But there’s no use crying over every mistake.
Oh? And who, sir, is on top of the NL East at the moment, having won 8 of their last 10? Hmmmmm?
I shudder. I have been reading and commenting on Pharyngula unqualified. I merely hold a bachelor of science degree, and it’s from the University of Much-Maligned Texas. Can I still help crash polls?
Seriously, I expect PZ’s detractors will mine this line from the speech.
Not for long if they don’t solve their starting pitching issues
/ducks
Bill Snedden@85 “There is no such thing as “just” an elementary school teacher or “just” a teacher of any kind.”
I certainly agree. But this reminds me of a gag Michael Feldman often uses on “Whadya Know?” He’s admonish the guest who described herself as ‘just a housewife,’
“Don’t say ‘just.’ Say ‘merely.'”
Given that I am one of the few here who is not a member of the cult of AssProf PZ, I am also one of the few capable of giving an honest assessment of the speech (the same principle that was fairly successfully conveyed by AssProf PZ in his speech).
It was pretty good.
Its strengths are (1)Its relative brevity (no mean feat for AssProf PZ), (2)The subdued optimism (always preferable to the more common soaring optimism), and (3)The jokes were fine.
Its weaknesses are (1)Too much self-referentiality, (2)That weird thing about “I take great pleasure in slaughtering sacred cows. Some think I perhaps take a little bit too much pleasure in not just slaughtering, but the long, slow, brutal vivisection of the sacred” that made the graduates and people in the stands say, probably: “Ewww, weird and gross and sadistic–this is a graduation ceremony, buddy; Granny’s here; don’t brag about your inability to be appropriate”, and (3)Too much presumption, but that is the nature of the Beast who wrote the speech.
Given that I am one of the few here who is not a member of the cult of AssProf PZ, I am also one of the few capable of giving an honest assessment of the speech (the same principle that was fairly successfully conveyed by AssProf PZ in his speech).
It was pretty good.
Its strengths are (1)Its relative brevity (no mean feat for AssProf PZ), (2)The subdued optimism (always preferable to the more common soaring optimism), and (3)The jokes were fine.
Its weaknesses are (1)Too much self-referentiality, (2)That weird thing about “I take great pleasure in slaughtering sacred cows. Some think I perhaps take a little bit too much pleasure in not just slaughtering, but the long, slow, brutal vivisection of the sacred” that made the graduates and people in the stands say, probably: “Ewww, weird and gross and sadistic–this is a graduation ceremony, buddy; Granny’s here; don’t brag about your inability to be appropriate”, (3)Too much presumption, but that is the nature of the Beast who wrote the speech, and (4)It didn’t close with “Finally, for this graduating class I pray that God bless you and keep you all the days of your life,” which I wouldn’t expect, but is the proper way to close one of these speeches.
Thank you for your assessment, Robert. You may now crawl back under your rock.
Given that I am one of the few here who is not a member of the cult of AssProf PZ, I am also one of the few capable of giving an honest assessment of the speech (the same principle that was fairly successfully conveyed by AssProf PZ in his speech).
It was pretty good.
Its strengths are (1)Its relative brevity (no mean feat for AssProf PZ), (2)The subdued optimism (always preferable to the more common soaring optimism), and (3)The jokes were fine.
Its weaknesses are (1)Too much self-referentiality, (2)That weird thing about “I take great pleasure in slaughtering sacred cows. Some think I perhaps take a little bit too much pleasure in not just slaughtering, but the long, slow, brutal vivisection of the sacred” that made the graduates and people in the stands say, probably: “Ewww, weird and gross and sadistic–this is a graduation ceremony, buddy; Granny’s here; don’t brag about your inability to be appropriate”, (3)Too much presumption, but that is the nature of the Beast who wrote the speech, and (4)It didn’t close with “Finally, for this graduating class I pray that God bless you and keep you all the days of your life,” which I wouldn’t expect, but is the proper way to close one of these speeches.
One more time robert
Sorry that it kept posting over and over; it just told me that it had been unable to process my request so I resubmitted.
Given that I am not one of the many here who think ‘Robert’ is pretty much a waste of oxygen, I am in a position to assess his comment, here…
And my assessment is: it needed more sex.
No, I wouldn’t have expected that either. But it’s about the only thing that might have redeemed it in any way.
(/Actually, it mighta helped PZ’s thing too, come to think of it… But his was pretty good anyway.)
Dude, we all know the message you got, and, unlike you, we’ve all read what it says. Explicity, and in bold type: do not resubmit.
Addendum: I feel it is important to clarify a critical typo in the above:
I do in fact concur with those who feel ‘Robert’ is a waste of oxygen. The ‘not’ was in error.
And while I do not by this mean to imply anyone should actually stop his continuing the use of this valuable gas which might otherwise go into important industrial processes, or, say, into the anaerobic breakdown of compost, &c, any positive endorsement of his continuing to do so was not intended…
(/And is deeply regretted.)
Had you taken the time to actually read the message you would have known that was exactly the wrong thing to do.
Why don’t people LOOK before they RE-POST?
It is a simple thing to do, on error – go ‘back’ and copy what you wrote, then back again and forward or refresh and LOOK TO SEE IF THERE!
I have made it a policy of mine that when I see something posted multiple times, I read none of the copies.
Very nice PZ!
And seriously, it seems pretty much guaranteed once you see that ‘do not repost’ message that it has, in fact, arrived, and will probably appear in a minute or two. Even if it’s still churning its way through the DB. I’ve yet to see otherwise.
I just have to pile on here, PZ, to commend you for a lovely (and succinct) speech. I even read a portion of it to the husbeast, who is gradually beginning to appreciate you. He used to make fun of my enthusiasm for this satisfying blog; he doesn’t do that any more. And I will be looking for this on YouTube so I can see it and enjoy it again.
We have witnessed a tragedy: the brilliant content of my comment has been lost on all of you simply because you’re annoyed it was twice re-posted.
No Robert, you will only show intelligence when you stop trying to be funny with PZ’s title, and/or stop posting here. Otherwise, you appear to be a idiot without a sense of humor.
I beg your pardon. I read your post and responded, quite appropriately, in my post #118.
Post #132 is mine. Damn TypeKey.
Rev., You might as well expect a skunk to squirt Chanel and shit rubies.
Robert,
Referring to someone as “AssProf PZ” in a criticism pretty much discredits whatever your point may have been. Just saying.
Let’s try this again.
Posts #132 and #133 were written by me.
But whose is #133?
Damn…too late!
Note how it’s only the trolls that post more than once? Do they think it has any result other than scrolling down through the page?
Nope. I saw nothing particularly or even generally brilliant about it.
Poe?
Re #141, well, yeah, not only did I take it as sarcasm, I’d even go so far as to say I found it kinda funny…
(I’m still, on balance, finding in favour of the compost, tho’.)
The UCLA comment actually cracked me up, since after attending a few dozen USC football games, a “UCLA sucks” cheer from the students and alumni ends most games.
Disclosure: I am not, nor will I ever be an alumnus of USC (especially being a passionate Syracuse alum and fan). My girlfriend, who had several degrees from USC, dragged me to the games.
Robert,
You are annoyed that PZ Meyers speech didn’t end with a god bless you? I’m surprised at your advocacy of hypocrisy. Also, what was he presuming? That that new doctors were smart intellectuals? That may be a presumption, buts its a reasonable one.
Also, your comment was not ‘brilliant’. The term AssProf is not funny or clever. If you are going to insult someone, at least have the decency to try.
*Scratches skunk trapping off the list of things for the weekend
One further comment about Bob that shows he is just out of touch with science. “stochastic processes” is a term I understood even though the first time I heard it used was high school chemistry (Jamestown, ND) and the last time was in college (St. Olaf). For him to snear at its use just shows how ignorant he is.
One further comment about Bob that shows he is just out of touch with science. “stochastic processes” is a term I understood even though the first time I heard it used was high school chemistry (1968, Jamestown, ND) and the last time was in college (St. Olaf). For him to snear at its use just shows how ignorant he is.
One further comment about Bob that shows he is just out of touch with science. “stochastic processes” is a term I understood even though the first time I heard it used was high school chemistry (1968, Jamestown, ND) and the last time was in college (St. Olaf). For him to snear at its use just shows how ignorant he is.
*whistle
Snear – sneer… good to see that this new CRAPPY formatting has not been able to kill the cootie. :p
Well done, PZ. “Public intellectual” sounded conceited to me at first, but after your explanation in the speech I get it.
And this one goes out to everyone making multiple postings.
So are there any private intellectuals out there?
@ #134:
James, you said: “Referring to someone as “AssProf PZ” in a criticism pretty much discredits whatever your point may have been. Just saying.”
Using the premise that calling someone names while critizing them is discrediting, it pretty much discredits 90% of the religion-bashing comments on this blog. I’m encouraged by your admission. Just saying.
Save for PZ’s inflated ego and self-indulging words, it was a good speech.
Could we have more comments from that witless buffoon Bob Evans? I could use another good laugh. Is it possible he’s set some sort of record among Pharyngula commenters for the most grammar, spelling and syntax errors in a comment? Of course, what made it really funny was that he was trying to dress down PZ (who did not make any mistakes with it’s/its by the way) and trying to use high-flown language that he obviously does not understand.
More nitwit comments, Bob! And try to be even more idiotic next time, although you’ve set yourself quite a high bar.
It was a pleasure meeting you yesterday, Dr. Myers. I didn’t make it to your speech because I was stuck in lab and am very glad that you posted it. GREAT SPEECH! I wish I had heard it live. Heck, I wish we hadn’t asked you to speak at commencement this year, but instead in a few years when I get to walk. I’m selfish like that. :P
I don’t mean to beat a dead horse, but Bob Evans, you are an idiot. Enough said.
From Robert: “Given that I am one of the few here who is not a member of the cult of AssProf PZ, I am also one of the few capable of giving an honest assessment of the speech”
Robert, if you want to masturbate, why don’t you do it alone, in front of your mirror, staring at your beloved self? No one else is interested in watching. At least Bob Evans provides entertainment value; you’re just a pompous, self-important ass.
“AssProf” is also stupid in that it fails to capture the crucial distinction between Assistant Professor (untenured) and Associate Professor (usually tenured).
As for PZ’s ego, there’s nothing new about that observation. You do not build and maintain a blog this big and successful without one. It gives me a little eye-roll when it pokes out, but that’s not very often.
When I saw AssProf, I just assumed that PZ was a colorectal surgery attending at University of Minnesota Medical center in Duluth. I guess I misread it. I’m such an idiot.
I HAD a skunk like this once. I killed it hoping to get my hands on all the rubies. Apparently didn’t learn much of a lesson from my poor, poor golden goose.
Oh well. He still smelled pretty.
That was a very nice speech and I am glad that that you came to USC for commencement and since being there last year as well, I loved the way you started the speech
A King Torta? From King Taco? mmmmm
Agggh! Straw EVERYWHERE!
Exactly how so?
“So are there any private intellectuals out there?”
Yup….Me.
Drat, now I’ve gone public with that I guess I’m not anymore.
Mind your own business.
That was beautiful, PZ. Very moving.
I am reminded of how much my graduation sucked. Everybody but me got sunburned as we roasted in the noonday sun while a priest droned on.
Robin @60
Bill @ 85
I agree with you Bill. Great teachers change lives. Almost everyone has at least one in their life. I haven’t taken any classes from PZ; but I’d bet he’s one of those teachers.
PZ: Very nice speech. I sent the link all over for others’ appreciation.
I don’t think I’ll ever understand why acknowledging one’s own excellence is considered a negative thing by some people.
I’ve always felt quite the opposite.
If you excel at something, and fail to acknowledge it, you’re either completely oblivious to your own greatness, or you’re employing false modesty, and I don’t consider either of those to be a virtue. False modesty, in particular, I find extremely distasteful.
There’s no reason not to be proud of your intellect, or talent, or achievements, if they’re formidable, and within reason, of course.
(This is mostly in response to the criticisms of PZ calling himself an intellectual, accusations of arrogance and ego, etc, but I’ve seen and been perplexed by this attitude elsewhere.)
Grief counseling and cake will be available at the end of the thread.
Will there be icing?
Did somebody sneeze at the end of the speech?
You should’ve met with Don Prothero while you were there! :)
I like the speech. You should’ve stuck around for our performance of “Galileo” next weekend at Caltech; it’s not performed very often these days.
Private Intellectual, reporting for duty, SIR!!!
PZ, thanks for sharing that with us. I walk the line tomorrow to receive my M.S. in Chemistry and I know that we’ll more than likely get some platatudes about god and country or some other rubbish like that. I’ve copied your speech to my phone where I can read it again if my worst fears about the speaker come true.
GODDAMMIT (so to speak) PZ!!! Why couldn’t you have been the one to give the speech in 2005 when I graduated???
I couldn’t tell you who addressed us at the ceremony. But I can tell you we ate a ton of seafood at a Chinese restaurant in Monterey Park afterwards.
I get my MD in 6 weeks! I want a speech from you now :P Except that none of my classmates would understand it.
Here is an excerpt from Ben Stein’s speech, gained through psychic powers:
“And teh lawd done comed down and smoted thuh evil darweenies with his mighty rath!!11!!
Come see mah moovie, it’s the best movie ever made!!11!!”
PZ: Excellent, thank you for sharing!
My daughter at SJSU is a reader of yours and will probably run across this and give it a read. Even though she is an artist, she will have her own ways to communicate, be critical, offensive and to create more like her. I see she is already working on her peers, I look forward to her being set loose onto the world in a few years with the thinking that you and others have shown her.
Thanks!
That’s a terrific closing line, very inspirational. So inspirational that I won’t make any rude remarks about the University of Spoiled Children. It would be immature and inappropriate.
@179
Couldn’t resist, could you?
PZ,
An entertaining and thoughtful job that honored the occassion, and didn’t bore them too long. Do you think the students expected something a little less appropriate, or was this about right?
Very good speech. All of it needs to be said. Often.
“And together we can bring back civility back to our social and cultural discussions.” from Carrie Prejean’s speech at the Trump/Prejean press conference.
It seems that PZ is railing against the above type of thinking. Any change that has mattered and been made in American has been made by those who speak up loudly.
hey pz- i’m that girl you met when jordan brought you to the lab to show you around- i’m a 3rd year phd student and jordan’s labmate. it was fantastic to have met you (even if briefly). i just wanted to tell you that i thought yours was the best commencenemt speech i have ever heard. it was funny, concise, pointed, controversial and warm. i’m glad you chose to incorporate your political views and to do so unabashedly. you inspired me beyond words. thank you- and come back to usc ANY TIME!
Awesome! I wish we’d had someone as inspiring at my med school graduation.
Tercel, are you at the U of R? So am I. :-)
“Here’s another one you may take for granted, but I assure you, much of the world outside your circle of nerds does not: Criticize.”
Reminds me of my all-time favorite graffito. It was near the end of the Vietnam War era, and I had just moved to Madison, Wisconsin. On a billboard across from the Med School, someone had spray-painted the time-honored “Question Authority!”. Right underneath it, someone else had added “Why should I?”.
Bertrand Russell would have been so proud.
Hey all, it was my pleasure to introduce Dr. Myers here at USC. I have posted the video on Viddler and Youtube. I hope you all enjoy it.
http://www.viddler.com/explore/medred33/videos/1/
Thanks for posting the links, Eric!
Really good talk, PZ! Sounds like they liked it, too.
“I think all religions are foolish tosh…” – don’t hear that often enough in graduation speeches, that’s for sure.
Er…I somehow missed this post entirely, and just noted that you put the text there, too, and how many comments followed.
Never mind.
:Z
Thus spake SC,OM:
Yep, that sounded like the beginning of some pretty enthusiastic applause at the end, alright.
And Eric, thanks for posting the vids.
Hey thanks a lot! Sorry about the quality! I just thought it would be great to hear him deliver it instead of just reading.
He got some great applause at the end. In addition to my duties as Prez, I am on the Med school’s executive committee, and boy did I have do some serious vouching to allow him to speak. It was worth it though!
People generally loved it, but I did meet some folks who abhorred the entire thing, especially the religious comments. My response was simply,”Then you listened! Great! Continue to be critical as long as you can provide evidence for your stance.”
All the young scientists like myself (who lurk here but have never commented before) knew who he was, but all the old admins and the deans had no clue who PZ was. I am proud to have introduced him to them!