1. Nerd of Redhead says

    You mean like stuff presents in the car along with the Redhead, and drive to see my mother? Already in the works. Happy Holiday of your choice to all.

  2. clinteas says

    Now get off the computer

    Are you insane man? What if,just what if,you know,ehm,someone is wrong on the internet when Im not here???

    Happy Squidmas PZ and the Pharyngulistas !!!

  3. John Phillips, FCD says

    clinteas, It’s a dirty job but someone has to do it, LOL.

    merry squidmas and happy monkey to one and all.

  4. Nick Gotts, OM says

    Loved ones? Until the family (wife, son, dog) return from the in-laws on 27th (we have our own celebration, Twixt, which falls on 29th this year), it’s just me and the guinea pig, with whom I have an arms-length relationship since she bit me. I’m shortly going to scrub down the top-floor bathroom ready for repainting.

  5. alex says

    srsly, Christmas day has just finished about half an hour ago here in Japan, and i spent the last hour of it watching monkeys – real monkeys – in the tree outside my window. they looked ever so happy. amazing way to end a weird christmas.

  6. rickflick says

    My loved ones are all busy on their own computers. Not much else to do. Oh, the dog wants out…

  7. Marc Abian says

    Wrong again PZ. You might be too busy trying to stuff your secularist agenda down our throats, but you should realise that Christmas is all about one little kid.

    God bless you Kevin McCallister. You show those awful, thoughly hilarious incompetent, burglars who’s boss.

  8. Sam B says

    The last I knew, my family were watching Mama Mia downstairs.

    If it’s finished, I may bring Sweeney Todd down and watch it on the big TV…

  9. DuckPhup says

    Seasonal Greetings

    From me (the ‘wishor’) to you (hereinafter called the ‘wishee’):

    Please accept without obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally-conscious, socially-responsible, politically-correct, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

    Also, a financially-successful, personally-fulfilling, and medically- uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally-accepted calendar year 2009, but with due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures or sects that have helped to make the USA great (not to imply that the USA is greater than any other country, or is the only great country in the world), and having regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer operating system or dietary preference of the wishee (all of the preceding henceforth being referred to as the ‘greeting’).

    By accepting this greeting you are bound by these terms that:

    • This greeting is subject to further clarification or withdrawal;

    • This greeting is freely transferable provided that no alteration shall be made to the original greeting and that the proprietary rights of the wishor are acknowledged;

    • This greeting implies no promise by the wishor to actually implement any of the wishes;

    • This greeting may not be enforceable in certain jurisdictions and/or the restrictions herein may not be binding upon certain wishees in certain jurisdictions and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wishor;

    • This greeting is warranted to perform as reasonably may be expected within the usual application of good tidings, for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first;

    • The wishor warrants this greeting only for the limited replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wishor;

    • Any use of the word ‘merry’ shall not be taken to imply or encourage high or excessive intake of alcoholic beverages by the wishee or to imply that the wishee might or might not wish to partake in any such intake; and,

    • Any references in this or any replacement or further greeting to ‘The Lord’, ‘Father Christmas’, ‘Our Saviour’, ‘Santa Claus’, ‘Athe’, ‘FSM’, ‘squid’, ‘monkeys’ or any other festive figures, whether actual or fictitious, dead or alive, shall not imply any endorsement by or from them in respect of this greeting, and all proprietary rights in any referenced third party names and images are hereby acknowledged.

    Esteemed Best Wishes &c ad Nauseum

    Sea Lawyer (acquitted)

  10. dead santa says

    Happy Monkey!

    Today we bake doughnuts and cinnamon twists. Tomorrow we drive across Wisconsin to celebrate that most holy day of conspicuous consumption. Thank you, Horus.

  11. James says

    I dislike even the secular Feast of Mammon. My personal philosophy for gift-giving: When I see something that would make a good gift for one of my family or friends, I give the gift then, not based on any date on a calendar. As for visiting family, December is a pretty bad time of year to visit them — but early May is great when the warblers are in full breeding plumage and are migrating north. You’ve got to get there before the leaves come out to get a good look… Much much better than flying east in December to sit indoors.

  12. Hank Fox says

    Does not compute.

    Hey, for some of us, in the great Venn Diagram of Life the two areas of “Time spent on the computer” and “Time spent with loved ones,” overlap almost totally.

    In the Internet age, EVERY day is Christmas.


    Hope the Myers clan and all the PZoids have a good holiday season, a grand time with family (of whatever species), and a great new year.

    War on Christmas bumper sticker epigram for next year:

    Keep the X in Xmas!

  13. craig says

    “but you should realise that Christmas is all about one little kid.

    Can’t you damned christians get your mind off little kids for once?

  14. SC, OM says

    Aw. My cell just rang with a Christmas message from my niece and one from MAJeff with a photo (a little winter scene – I think he’s in MN). I may be stuck here, but I’m not really alone. Thanks, science and technology!

  15. Patricia, OM says

    Happy Yule everyone!
    We are still snow bound and freezing cold.
    The chickens are having a feast of leaf lettuce and squash chunks, happy, happy joy, joy!

  16. Brownian, OM says

    Oh, now I have to see if that’s on today, Marc.

    [Flicks through channels]

    Nope. But The Search for Spock is on Space Channel. KHA-A-A-A-A-N!!

  17. Robert Thille says

    Happy Newton Day!

    Went to midnight mass last night with some friends. That was weird. Haven’t been thru a church service in years, never really been a believer. It was strange to be surrounded by so many people so willing to turn their brains off and just repeat whatever words are put in front of them.

  18. kamaka says

    Yah, my loved ones delight in wishing me a happy baby jesus day, inviting me to church…

    But I’ll still eat the ham with them.

    Merry Solstice!

  19. says

    Happy Solstice everyone! For a present, I got you all a petition you might like!

    The UN passed a resolution titled “Combating Religious Defamation” which basically gives Islamist governments a free pass to oppress apostates and other critics. So click the link above at and sign my petition! Please?

    If you want to read the resolution I’m opposing, it is at Pay close attention to point 10 -yikes!

  20. clinteas says

    My cell just rang with a Christmas message

    Is a cell similar to a mobile phone?

    We are still snow bound and freezing cold.

    Yay,a rub-it-in opportunity !!! 27 Celsius and sunny for the first day of the Boxing Day Test,Patricia,those chooks sure wished they were home right now Im sure…:-)

  21. Nick Gotts, OM says

    Signed your petition. I might have worded it slightly differently, but good on ya!

    First time I’ve been in the first hundred people to sign an online petition – hurry, hurry, Pharyngulites, this opportunity cannot last long!

  22. Richard Harris says

    Now get off the computer and go spend some time with the loved ones. That’s what this day is all about, you know.

    Hey, I just escaped into my office for a bit of peace & quiet. Don’t you start on me, PZ.

    Aw shucks, Merry Xmas everyone.

  23. Lee Picton says

    Happy monkey everyone! Our holiday was actually celebrated this previous Sunday, so the spawn and his gravid beloved (yesssss! I am going to be a grandmother!) could travel north to have Christmas where small children were involved. So we have invited a single friend to have dinner today using the leftovers of the roast beast and fixings. And I will celebrate another year of the husbeast managing to stay alive, contrary to the opinions of the medical community. Forty-one years and counting. Life is good.

  24. Jorg says

    Happy Newtonmas! Throw an apple at someone you love!

    And, entirely offtopic but hilarious nevertheless, NYT’s quote of the day today was:

    “It doesn’t crumb, and I don’t like fragments of our Lord scattering all over the floor.”
    THE REV. BOB DIETEL, about communion wafers manufactured by the Cavenaugh Company in Greenville, R.I.

  25. Flamethorn says

    Happy Monkey everyone and virtual squishes to PZ!

    I’m finally getting around to watching Walking with Dinosaurs (BBC, 1999).

  26. maryanne says

    I got sqidmas decorations for a tiny tree from my oldest son! A box of little glass ornaments which are various fish, seahorse, starfish, a crab and an octopus. I already have mermaids and monkey on our big tree. Merry Sqidmas and Happy Monkey to all!

  27. Notagod says

    The day to spend time with loved ones was solstice, thank you, and I hope you all had a wonderful solstice indeed. Today is zombies day and for those who haven’t a clue as to when or even if their critter existed at all.

  28. Richard Harris says

    When I clicked on the link to read the resolution @ # 33, I got this message:

    Error 401

    But I signed it anyway. Good luck with it, Lynne.

  29. Mark says

    Today I’ve not done much bar opening presents, playing with my 3yo, eating, and drinking (in moderation). I didn’t have to cook, nor wash up, nor anything really (all was laid on by inlaws, though we did have to walk the whole 200 yards to their place). I had a very full night’s sleep, didn’t go to bed with a headful of booze last night, woke up at a civilised hour (8am, which is very civilised for xmas day when you’ve got a 3yo). Nor have I drank a headful today. The worst I’ve done is possibly eaten a little more than I otherwise would (OK, quite a bit more).

    So after a day of relaxing, why am I so bloody knackered?

    It’s not even 7pm here, but I’m pretty sure I could pass out until tomorrow morning without any trouble at all.

    Ho hum.

    Happy Monkey! I hope you all enjoyed xmas day.



  30. scooter says

    Questions for Jebus

    I have an Xmas Radio Special tonight, I’m calling Jesus (Troy Conrad) to wish him a happy B-day.

    If yall have any good questions for Jesus please post .

    So Far:

    Jews don’t celebrate Xmas, but they celebrate B-days, is that a personal paradox?
    Is he underground since there’s a war on Xmas?
    Is he enjoying the Xmas present from Willie Nelson?
    WTF is myrr?
    I heard he was actually born on the 4th of July, is that so?

    program airs tonight:
    Two Hour War on Christmas Sp[aecial

    East Coast 10 – midnight
    Gulf Coast: 9 – 11
    West Coast: 7 – 9

    streams from

    Happy Monkey!!

  31. Bill Dauphin says

    In keeping with the thread title, here’s a thoughtful rumination on why Christmas is an occasion to be merry… and hopeful… for us progressives.

    (Note: There’s some Jebus-talk at that link, but it’s all about social teaching, not supernaturalism.)

    Merry, merry, all… and enjoy your roast beast (or whatever)!

  32. Bill Dauphin says

    My cell just rang with a Christmas message

    Is a cell similar to a mobile phone?

    Yes, in precisely the same way gas is similar to petrol, a trunk is similar to a boot, an apartment is similar to a flat, and …er, we don’t actually have a special word for it… is similar to Boxing Day.

    Have a good one!

  33. Carpworld says

    Happy Monkey all!!! Done the family thing, now happily partaking of spiritous beverages, mmm.

  34. Alex Besogonov says

    Christmas? Are you nuts?

    EVERYONE knows that the REAL Christmas is celebrated on January 7! You wouldn’t want God to smite you because you’d used this new-fangled Gregorian Calendar, would you?

    So repent and stop celebrating!

  35. Patricia, OM says

    PZ – How many holy books, crackers and glossy gawd magazines did you get?

    Inquiring minds want to know!

  36. JJR says

    I’m kicking back in my computer chair after a very satisfying Saturnalia (er, Christmas) meal…the usual trimmings, ham, veggies, dressing, cranberry sauce, etc, washed down with Iced tea. I was taking in some Red vs. Blue videos earlier, LMAO. I will probably kick back with a book in a bit. I already did the family time for Xmas eve (when our family usually always exchanged family gifts; only the little kids had to wait to open their “Santa” gifts on Xmas day, and now all the kids are grown up).

  37. Nick Gotts, OM says

    the usual trimmings – JJR

    Anyone else find this a most unappetising expression? Like, the offal and gristly bits that no-one wants, so they were trimmed off?

  38. Crudely Wrott says

    Nick, I was thinking more along the lines of sauces and gravies and garnish. And those sweet pickles in the middle of the relish tray. Mmmmm. I hope there’s another slice of mincemeat pie.

    Happy Bellyfull, everybody.

  39. Patricia, OM says

    The debate here is whether to have a Matrix or Harry Potter marathon. Last night we did Lord of the Rings DVD’s.

    It’s just after noon here, and already I’ve found two Red-winged black birds frozen to death under the feeding tree.

  40. llewelly says

    All of my ‘loved ones’ (term used loosely here) are staying home on account of the weather, with the exception of one brother who is in Mexico, and another who is in LA.
    As for me, they are all more miles away than I am willing to walk in the freezing wind.

    But Happy Monkey to all.

  41. Wowbagger says

    What? You Northern Hemispherers are still going on about this? Please. Christmas 2008 was so yesterday. You’re living in the past!

  42. says

    OK, I’m done eating my loved ones – and man am I full. Wait, what? “Greeting my loved ones”? I was supposed to Greet my loved ones! Argh! Now you tell me!

    Well, everyone enjoy the day! Cheers.

    John B. Sandlin

  43. John Phillips, FCD says

    Lynne, thanks for the heads up and duly signed as #20.

    Sometimes I have a great deal of difficulty remembering that this really is the 21st. Century.

  44. says

    Science Pundit @37,

    the “Home Alone” allusion neatly parted my hair, I’ll confess; but still, it’s Marc Abian’s first paragraph that has me wondering.

    Still, in the spirit of the season, let me take a leaf from my brother, who is a believer, sort of:

    – to my friends who celebrate Christmas, today I wish only your happiness;

    – to my friends who do not celebrate Christmas, today I wish only your happiness.

    Or, to make it all more obscure: Nollaig shona agus moncaí sona daoibh!

  45. BMS says

    #66 – Electrified Conifer Day.

    Bride of BMS and I were just inspired to compose a little song:

    Faux conifer, faux conifer,
    How plastic are your branches.
    They look just like the real thing,
    And fold up tight for storing.
    Faux conifer, faux conifer,
    How plastic are your branches.

    Faux conifer, faux conifer,
    Much pleasure do you bring us.
    No watering required,
    You’ll never be retired.
    Faux conifer, faux conifer,
    Much pleasure do you bring us.

    Faux conifer, faux conifer,
    How quickly we can decorate.
    Your ease for us is quite unmatched,
    Your lights in permanence attached.
    Faux conifer, faux conifer,
    How quickly we can decorate.

  46. Ichthyic says

    Happy Monkey from NZ!

    yes, I finally made it down here.

    I’ll post sporadically from the road.

    cheers all!

  47. Ichthyic says

    …btw, just hit the local aquarium here in Auckland, and evidently missed a visit from Steve O’Shea by a few days.

    took some pics of part of their local Archituethis specimen which I’ll put up soon.

  48. FRANCIS says

    This christmas, it’s all about The JFC Show

    They roasted Christmas right proper with their satire about Jesus living in todays world. In the two part christmas special he sees first hand what we do on his “Birthday”

    Quite classic

  49. Zahri says

    Well, I’m 18 time zones away from home, so being on the computer is how I’m talking to my loved ones. The wishes of the season to Skype!

  50. Jane says

    Tiz the day after Christmas with shopping to be done. All the dogs and hubby are still sleeping all snug in their beds and I’m on the net looking for bargains. It doesn’t rhyme, but I’m not a poet. ;)

    I’ve been following your blog and responses with some interest. I worry a bit about those for whom Atheism it itself almost a religion. I’m pretty much a Pastafarian and loathe stupidity, which pretty much encompasses anything that has to do with any mythology past or present. Humans seem to desperately need a God of some sort, either to worship or to deny. The why of this has always mystified me.

    I adore Christmas and Easter for that matter. What’s not to like about sparkly lights, yummy food, presents and the idea that a magical elf who delivers presents to children who leave him cookies and milk? In the case of the Easter bunny, he leaves me chocolate so ’nuff said… In a world where a child starves to death every few minutes, I like a little fantasy otherwise I’d spend my days in depression. If the family across the street believes that penguins visited the Baby Jesus that’s fine with me. I just hope that they joined me in donating to charities so that those less fortunate were not left out.

    Merry Squidmas to all and let’s try to make the coming year one that is a little kinder to man and beast.


  51. John Phillips, FCD says

    Jane: Nothing wrong with a bit of fantasy. The problem for us atheists arises when the fantasists insist that we not only take their fantasy as true but that we create laws based on those fantasies and that we teach their fantasies as science. Lucky you if these fantasists and their fantasies haven’t affected your life, unfortunately, I can’t say the same.

  52. SASnSA says

    but you should realise that Christmas is all about one little kid.

    …Who if he even existed, most likely was not born on December 25th, and definitely not from a virgin (any assurances to the contrary given to her husband not withstanding).

    It does make a good secular holiday though. I hope you all had a good secular gift giving day, and a happy monkey.

  53. Mark says

    Well, the xtian babblers sometimes wonder if xmas day is “just like any other day” for we atheists.

    To tell the truth, after spending the day with family and having a great time, I eventually got second wind at around 8pm by which time my 3yo was in bed and asleep… so… er… it was telly or what? My wife was reading, telly was rubbish, and I didn’t really feel like cranking out any sounds, so…

    Having some private (as in not my regular day job) work to do I started working, quite happily too. I cracked one beer after another, and worked on through until about 3am.


    OK, so then I got up at about 8am and corrected the minor mistakes I’d made at the tail end of my boozy xmas working session, but yay, xmas day doesn’t mean that I have to bow down and be stupidful, I can do whatever I want!

    How cool is that?



  54. Marc Abian says

    Who if he even existed, most likely was not born on December 25th, and definitely not from a virgin (any assurances to the contrary given to her husband not withstanding).

    I don’t think the film ever suggested any of that.

  55. Sili says

    Meh. Just returned from a week offline.

    130+ blogposts (the aggregator only collects the twenty most recent for any given blog, so I have to check this place by hand).

    The closest thing to show I’m a real person was a request for clarification from Arnold Zwicky. I should get on that at some point. Next year.