A reader sent me this caricature. I do make a rather grim looking cleric, don’t I?
Still, it’s an interesting proposal. I think we need a pope who would blow raspberries at the rituals and laugh at the beliefs, and I can see myself thwapping Bill Donohue with that stick a few times. Is there an application form for me to fill out? How many members of the college of cardinals are among my readership?
The clergymen, or the birds? (Even if they’re ALL for the birds.)
Ever been involved in a massive cover up of child abuse?
Ever been involved in preventing condoms from saving the lives of millions in Africa?
Ever been a member of Hitler Youth?
If you answer no to any of these questions, then you don’t qualify.
Sorry.
You’d have to go celibate though. Unless you are a Orthodox or Anglican priest, in which case you can stay married and bring the wife along for the ride.
Is there a sane explanation for why straight up Catholic priest cannot be married, but if you convert from say the Serbian Orthodox church you can stay hitched?
Oh, you should definitely win the Pope election, if for no other reason than to take the ‘rhetorical question’ status away from “Hey, is the Pope Catholic?”
Of course, the existence of zoos didn’t effect the one about bears and what they do in the woods.
What is that saying?
Oh yeah: Does the Pope shit in the woods?
I’m friends with the president
I’m friends with the pope
We’re all making a fortune
Selling daddy’s dope
They forgot the octopus.
Don’t worry, if you’re not allowed to be it now, the future is still open: http://spacepope.org/
PZ, you’d just be served a nice cup of tea on day two, and then that would be all over.
<>Is there a sane explanation for why straight up Catholic priest cannot be married, but if you convert from say the Serbian Orthodox church you can stay hitched? – I Am So Wise
Come on now, be serious. Do the words “sane explanation” and “Catholic Church” really belong in the same universe?
I trust you’ll be appropriately reverent. The Happy Monkey episodes proved that.
Just say you are. Like George Carlin said: “I have just as much authority as the Pope. Just not as many people believe it.”
Someone should put this on a nice American Apparel t-shirt. I would buy it.
Two questions for His Holiness PZ I:
(1) Will those who approach Your Presence be required to kneel and kiss your ring, as is the current custom?
(2) Where will you be wearing your ring?
You can forget about becoming pope, since the god you will be representing cannot be trusted to choose a representative himself, there is a bunch of mere mortals in charge of the selection procedure.
“How many members of the college of cardinals are among my readership?”
Probably several. I doubt that any would own up to it though.
I think all you need to be pope is an army. That’s how it worked during the wars of religion, anyway. There were two – why not three or even a couple dozen?
Being a pope is dangerous, though, because you’re at heightened risk of being bumped off by rival popes. But look at the cool gang-sign they get to flash!
Lewis Carroll poem (quoted from memory):
He thought he saw an argument that proved he was the Pope.
He looked again and saw it was a bar of mottled soap.
“A fact so dread,” he faintly said, “extinguishes all hope.”
Actually I suspect there is a fairly rational explanation although the RCC would never tell it; it’s pure expediency. It looks good for them if High Church Anglican priests (say) jump ship to Rome; they are less likely to do it if they have to stop being priests; Catholics generally aren’t ready to accept married priests as the norm. Therefore, hacky compromise (which will make the Anglicans feel right at home).
All that’s left is get some theologian to hack out a less cynical sounding explanation. as to why it’s ok.
Now we just need “Vote for Myers” T-shirts.
Put a little grey in your beard, some rollers in your eyebrows, and I reckon you’re a shoo-in for the next Archbishop of Canterbury, PZ: http://www.saintdavidsepiscopal.org/planning.html
As I recall, the Catholic church is pretty strongly against divorce – it’s not quite prohibited, but very close. So, that particular detail isn’t too irrational, given their assumptions.
The reason why priests are not allowed to marry was (and probably still is) mostly about assets and where they end up after a priest dies.
Whoever is in charge of making Pharyngula swag needs to get on it, stat!
I will testify that you did a miracle PZ, if you will make it stop snowing. My chickens are freezing their breasts off, and I’m tired of shoveling.
*end of grinching for today*
tewhy: I think the point is it’s weird that they let married clergy become RC priests at all, not that they don’t ask them to get divorces forst.
For those who haven’t yet completed their gift lists (and don’t subscribe to Mark Morford’s column:
http://blasphemygame.com/
We don’t need no college of cardinals, we can set up our own University of Ordinals.
Randomfactor – Looks like a fun game, but $100? For a board game??
Hit enter too soon.
Meant to explain that the University of Ordinals would be made up of winners of the Order of the Molly.
Dear Atheists & PZ,
I would hope you understand that one cannot be elected Pope in the same manner that one is elected mayor. For Darwinists, who seem to think the works of man so splendid that they don’t need another God, the idea that a Pope is chosen by God surely makes no sense. I suppose no evidence will ever do for you people. You claim Christians see God’s hand in everything (which we do) yet ignore the fact that you see evidence of the Lord in the faithful. It’s called science: do a survey, measure the Earth’s diameter, calculate the distance between the Sun and Stars and you’ll begin to see the divine structure of the universe unfold. Once you’ve satisfied yourselves with your science, partake of the food that feeds the soul.
In Christ I pray for you all.
PZ will have to wait. Robert Silverberg has been campaigning to be pope for years. I believe he has his papal name picked out: Pope Sixtus the seventh.
Also, when I was seven or or eight years old, I read a life changing book by Silverberg: The Auk, the dodo and the Aurochs. There was a phrase that, through 45+ years, has stayed with me: ‘but it will never be an aurochs.’ That phrase, written just that way, after a detailed recounting of the steady extermination of the beast and the laborious process to make even a facsimile, made a child think about life, death, and the finality of extinction.
Sorry, my vote has to go to Silverberg. PZ, after you publish your book, you can get in line.
Well, it would ensure us all with an unlimited supply of consecrated crackers.
But what name would you take? You can take anything you want. Now Cardinal Sin of the Phillipines beat you to a particularly good name; how about Pope Darwin? Pope Condom? Pope Corn?
I’m sure there are better suggestions than these.
There. Fixed that for you.
Actually the question “Is the Pope Catholic?” is kind of complicated. There are other Popes out there – the supposed successor of Saint Thomas in India, the head of the Coptic church in Egypt… (I think even the Vatican recognises the titles). I reckon if we all signed up online we could Pharynulate the Coptic church and have PZ declared pope of Alexandria.
Dear Sir/Madam,
f*** you too.
Fly in the Oitment said:
Did I miss anything or did I get the major points of your ignorant little rant. Please continue to pray; it has no effect other than to keep your stupid ass away the polls.
Someone swat that fly, put up a no-pest strip or something.
If we could persuade the vatican to elect popes via Internet survey we *may* have a shot at this…
Sorry, you’ve got to “like” kids.
Methinks that Fly in the Oitment does not understand that this is a joke. I doubt that PZ harbors any desire to be a pope. And I doubt that most of the regulars here want anyone to be a pope.
What do you expect from a bozo who cannot even spell it’s own moniker correctly. What is Oitment?
It’ll be in his back trousers pocket.
Seriously, PZ, how can you pass up the magnificent costume? Check out this picture of the anti-pope Gregory XVII. Wouldn’t you love to be dressed like that? Ken Ham and Pat Robertson would be green with envy.
Your rude and ignorant posts only shame you further. It is clear that many here not only turn their back on God, but would attack him were he to reveal himself to them. Like a dog suddenly doused in water, you can shake and fume and grunt, but you cannot explain what happened. You cannot explain why the world treats you as it does. And yes, I think likening many of you to angry dogs is a proper analogy.
In Christ.
Fly in the Ointment #31 wrote:
No, that’s not us. It’s you who see evidence of the Lord in the faithful — another example of seeing God’s hand in everything. Which, to us, is evidence that the faithful see themselves in everything. They make it all about “me, me, me” — and call that “God.”
Oh and Fly said
Sorry to burst your bubble but popes are elected in *exactly* the same way mayors are elected – through political maneuvering. You don’t honestly believe all that b/s from recently elected popes about how ‘unexpected’ the election was do you?
Dear Fly,
If you knew more than your sparse, over-generalized view of science and realize we are not biological machines with entrapped ghosts, you’d realize gods and religion are just human constructs. Humans made them up to explain what they couldn’t explain. As for feeding a soul, prove it exists.
& no need to pray for us either, it’s just a self indulgent bit of wishful thinking that affects nothing but you, oh pious & credulous one.
“I do make a rather grim looking cleric, don’t I?”
who doesn’t?
“and I can see myself thwapping Bill Donohue with that stick a few times.”
start with a good ‘ol fashioned shoe-toss please…
then jump on his crackers…
only THEN may you use the stick!
An ignorant dumbfuck said:
Yes we can, it’s because fucktards such as you exist; you abide by an ancient, ignorant set of fairy tales, treat them as absolute truth despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary, and have a history of burning people at the stake if they dare disagree with you.
So again, fuck you, fuck off, go read your beeble and keep on a prayin’!
For the campaign, though, you should pronounce your name in the Anglo/Canadian style…
“Pee Zed Myers”
That would give it a little more gravitas, methinks.
Poor Richard Dawkins, he’s no longer the atheist pope. Now theist will have to call PZ the atheist pope. Let’s face it, PZ is just popetactular!
PZ for Pope.
Richard Dawkins for Imam.
Christopher Hitchens for Dalai Lama!
PZ: you need to be celibate.
Fuck yeah, if a god anything like that of bible revealed itself to me. Any moral person would seek to fight against such a monstrous tyrant.
How about you Janine? La Popessa Janine.
See, I’d go for just the red shoes & chef. Looks like a cushy job to me.
You should definitely get that on a t-shirt. I also think a baseball cap with a squid logo on it would be pretty cool. I tried designing one to suggest not to long ago… but I have no artistic talent.
Fly,
We may be rude but the ignorance is yours.
An explanation as to why catholic priests can’t marry. To no ones surprise it has to do with power and money.
From http://www.celticguitarmusic.com/mland~celibacy.htm
The unfolding tragedy of the pedophilia scandal among American Catholic clergy has rekindled the debate over whether priests should be allowed to marry. To better understand this issue, it helps to look at the history of priestly celibacy. As it turns out, the wealth and power of Rome had more to do with the practice than spirituality. Clerics often married until the Middle Ages, until concern, mostly over the loss of Church lands to heirs of priests, led to the imposition of the celibacy rule. Here’s how it came to pass:
See more at http://www.celticguitarmusic.com/mland~celibacy.htm
Posted by: Fly in the Ointment | December 19, 2008
Your rude and ignorant posts only shame you…
You really do lack a sense of humor. All of this is a joke. Either your faith bars you from having one or you have not gotten past the bodily functions stage of humor.
Ooooohhh, I think I see white smoke and Ratzi isn’t even dead yet.
@ Fly:
That’s almost too stupid for words.
1: Inanity
2: ???
3: Goddidit!!!
Never had soul food myself. Know any good restaurants?
Up yours.
Posted by: Patricia, OM | December 19, 2008
How about you Janine? La Popessa Janine.
See, I’d go for just the red shoes & chef. Looks like a cushy job to me.
I swear on the pope’s boobs that I should have the job. I can use a cushy job that provides me with designer clothes.
Fly in the Ointment, you are just one more sad little entry in the parade of god soaked fools that dribble through here on a daily basis. *yawn*
Yes, I would hate god if he existed. There is no god. Grow up.
Would that make PZ infallible? I see some new “dogma” coming. If you don’t believe that Hell does not exist then you will go to Hell after you die (hopefully many years from now). But alas, they would do to PZ what they do to popes that they don’t like: make him an anti-pope. And we all know what happens when a pope and anti-pope come into contact….
But to do it properly, like the French cardinals, you’d also need a concubine or two on the side …. Wait, the hardest part of that would be the requisite hiding of it to be properly hypocritical, wouldn’t it?
Doesn’t that Bishops’ Mitre remind you of a certain cephalopod’s mantle? It suits you PZ.
You claim Christians see God’s hand in everything (which we do) yet ignore the fact that you see evidence of the Lord in the faithful. Fly
Oh, you mean the way they’ve spent the best part of two millennia torturing and murdering each other (and indeed, everyone else)? Well, I suppose given the nature of the disgusting monster you worship, they do indeed reflect it pretty accurately – but I’m afraid that’s not evidence this monster really exists.
No need to be celibate PZ; once you’re on the throne – so to speak – you can declare that having a trophy wife is a sacrament.
Fly, you are truly out of your element. Before saying anything else, you should read this.
Maybe in the Monkey Vatican.
The only real requirement to be pope is to be a baptized Catholic male. In practice, you need to be a cardinal and so forth. So I guess that means PZ is officially out (too bad). On the other hand, Baudrillard thinks that the higher ups in the church know that God doesn’t exist, so he would fit right in, except for the celibacy, priesthood, and pretending to be believe part.
Fly spewed:
Norman Bloom, is that you?
In college there was a guy named Norman Bloom who hung around the campus (sometimes called himself Necham Bloom), who used to print up and distribute pamphlets that purported to prove the existence of god because of how the orbits of the planets were all multiples of 5, and we have 5 fingers.
What’s that you say, there’s no multiples of 5 in the orbits of the planets? Oh, so you think! You just haven’t done enough arithmetic manipulations to see them. I’ll give him this: he was a wiz with the multiplyin’ and the dividin’ and the square-rootin-tootin! He could (and did!) find multiples of 5 in everything from astronomy to stock prices to NBA standings.
Norman, if that’s you, please post some more numbers for us! Pretty please?
One of the best things about Arthur C. Clarke’s “3001” sequel to “2001: A Space Odyssey” is that the pope (Pius XX) has renounced his faith (due to the “space monoliths”) and released all the records of the Inquisition, exploding Christianity. So, PZ, I humbly suggest that if you do become pope, you take on the name Pious XX in honor of this idea.
According to the Principia Discordia, a pope is “every single man, woman, and child on this Earth.”
Get your very own pope card here.
Fly: measure the Earth’s diameter, calculate the distance between the Sun and Stars and you’ll begin to see the divine structure of the universe unfold.
The universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding
In all of the directions it can whizz
As fast as it can go, at the speed of light, you know,
Twelve million miles a minute, and that’s the fastest speed there is.
So remember, when you’re feeling very small and insecure,
How amazingly unlikely is your birth,
And pray that there’s intelligent life somewhere up in space,
‘Cause there’s bugger all down here on Earth.
(from “Galaxy Song” by Eric Idle)
Janine here. What do you think of my new moniker? Should I run with it?
Actually, old bean, my local police officers are waiting for a chance to have an interview with your god chap. They want to arrest him under the Prevention of Terrorism Act. Apparently, he’s got himself into bad trouble – been hanging around with some arabs in the desert, and been doing some really bad shit – smiting, and condoning and encouraging rape and murder and stuff. He even wrote an autobiography, confessing to all sorts of sins. You may have read some of it…
In the meantime, Happy Monkey!
(that’s a j.o.k.e. too, in case you were wondering).
And you thought you were getting lots of hate mail before? Go PZ!!!
Not bad, Janine, not bad. Though me personally, I’d go with “Popecita” rather than Popessa. It sounds all cute and cuddly. Y’know, put them off their guard and then hit them with the Queen Vile Bitch. Kinda like those poisonous octopuses.
I mean, if I were you.
Which I’m not.
Laughing my ass off at the self reich-ousness of Fly-in-the-Ointment.
I think he used too much ointment for his STD. I think his christ gave it to him (the STD).
Considering the last pope named Pius was P the XII, shouldn’t there be Pius XIII through XIX before PZ can be P the XX? However, since there’s been Piuses, Innocents, a Liberius, a Hilarius, some Honoriuses, a couple of Celestines, and even a handful of Clements, I suggest that PZ take Magnificent as his papal name.
Pope Magnificent I the Cephalopod
#3 – Priests who enter as a Catholic cannot marry due to the fact that they’ve take a vow of celibacy. This doesn’t stop them from hiring so-called housekeepers. *wink* *wink*
There was a Pope Liberius? How about Tiberius! “The. Pope. Is. In. Fallible.”
And say goodbye to all that celibacy too!
Everytime is see the pope i am reminded of this quote
It’s interesting to speculate how it developed that in the most anti-feminist institutions, the church,
the mosque, and the law court, the men are wearing the dresses.
kryth, JStein,
No, Richard Dawkins is neither Pope nor imam, but the Archatheist of Oxford. I think he keeps that title even though he’s stepped down as Professor of the Public Understanding of Science.
What’s funny is that Fly ITO left before it turned really rude. These christoprudes get such a case of the vapors over the silliest things. Such sad puritanical creatures living in a make believe world.
Or altar boys. *wink* *wink*
Janine – No, fly, fly my pretty!
I think Jack Chick should be commissioned to do PZ’s Papal Portrait. I’m certain he’s the only one who can catch the professor’s certain whatzit. Jack has a very insightful tract entitled Are Roman Catholics Christian? http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0071/0071_01.asp Maybe the question should be: is the pope Christian? Or, does it really matter? Happy Monkey!
It never ceases to amaze and amuse me how they can spew their vapid platitudes as self-evident truths and think they’ve just invalidated any criticism of their religion. “Fly in the ointment”, indeed.
Oh no, not the Crackers again!
According to the “prophecies of St. Malachy”, there’s only going to be one more Pope in Rome after Ratzi, if that (the mention of the last one, “Peter the Roman”, may be a forgery later than the rest of the list). So hang in there, PZ, and the position may come vacant!
In my spare time I’m a freelance pope. I can bless anything, make nonsensical pronouncements on a variety of topics, and I can cope with as many nuns as are available and pleasing to my papal self.
I also happen to look simply FABULOUS in a funny hat and long flowing robes. And that part of Italy is just SO nice a climate at this time of year.
Sod this American, I’ll take the job, I’ve got the experience.
Louis
Sir Isaac Newton, the greatest scientist of all time, was an out-and-out creationist. Kurt Gödel, the greatest logician of all time, believed evolution was “disprovable”. Albert Einstein was also a creationist, but he kept this to himself because he didn’t want to have his family murdered.
So, in other words…looks like the game’s up for you evolutionists! In trying to prove the THEORY of evolution, you stand against nothing other than THE WHOLE OF SCIENCE. Might I suggest something more suitable, like beating your suitably thick heads against the nearest brick wall? Have fun! :)
Pharyngula, here is Thaddeus.
Thaddeus, here is Pharyngula.
Let the stomping commence.
Don’t mind Thaddeus. He’s just pissed because his religion is dying, and all he can think to do about it is dump his cyberbowels on random science blogs.
The Fly:
Bwahaha.
Buttock-attack!
As Pope you’d be in a position to help solve the current world financial crises.
Just think of all the money you could garner with the reintroduction of the sale of indulgences!
Enjoy.
In a time where very, very few weren’t, and those who weren’t kept it to themselves.
It is. The important part, and the part you conveniently left out, is that it hasn’t been disproved.
Bald-faced lie.
Automatic fail for using the word “evolutionist”.
Yeah, right. Three people, one of whom you lied about outright, and none of whom were biologists, do not consitute the WHOLE OF SCIENCE. And typing it in capitals doesn’t make it more true.
This is the part where you accuse me of being rude and uncivil, right?
Louis:
That’s no joke. Have you ever tried to read a papal encyclical? They’re awful. I had to read a few in school, and it was the most painful, dull reading I’ve ever done in my life. Even the ones on racier topics, like Humanae Vitae, are boring.
I vote PZ for pope, on the understanding that he would let me move into the Sistine Chapel.
You know, the one with the groovy murals.
Just so I have this straight:
The greatest scientist of all time (who lived 300 years ago and was a dedicated alchemist), the greatest logician of all time, and Albert Einstein = “THE WHOLE OF SCIENCE”?
Might I suggest a trip to the library?
Years ago I had a bizarre dream in which the College of Cardinals couldn’t decide between the liberal candidate for Pope and the conservative candidate. So they elected them both as co-Popes. Since they were both deemed infallible, they couldn’t speak publicly on anything they disagreed about — which was almost everything. Turned out to be a vast improvement over the current system.
I would think that anything that got the pope to keep his mouth shut would be a huge improvement.
OK, I’ll bite…
Hey, Thuddeus, let’s do this: You gather all the peer-reviewed literature on why evolution isn’t true. I’ll gather all the peer-reviewed literature on why it is true. My pile is bigger than your pile.
As to that OTHER pile you just dropped here on Pharyngula, I have some spare cat litter I could lend you.
This is unrelated but I thought your readers might like to know that antivaccinationists J.B. Handley and Jenny McCarthy are supposed to be on Larry King tomorrow (12/20). I’m hoping the skeptical community can find a way to get their voice heard via phones or something, because of course Larry wouldn’t conceive of putting on a skeptic to debate these easy targets.
Ignorance. Aristotle’s speculations about evolution are well-documented. It was not impossible to speak out against the orthodoxy, as is demonstrated by Copernicus and Galileo. Newton himself was not afraid to privately entertain radical thoughts, such as his rejection of the Trinity.
You evolutionists crack me up! Get a load of this:
– Kurt Godel
Biology is a female subject. It isn’t a science. God created life, so it’s engineering (not biology) which is relevant.
:)
Christopher Hitchens for Dalai Lama!
That deserves a reality show.
If PZ becomes pope, the first thing he should do is knock down whatever walls and buildings he has to so he can donate Raphael’s “The School of Athens” to a proper museum so more people can see it.
“Biology is a female subject.”
WTF????
Poe.
Thaddeus, you’re clearly trolling.
Theology is a neuter subject. It isn’t a science. Humans created God, so it’s imagineering (not theology) which is relevant.
That should’ve been in quotes.
Even if all of that were true it would have exactly zero bearing on the validity of the Theory of Evolution and the hundred of thousands of pieces of research supporting it.
This is hand down the most insanely stupid thing I’ve read today, and I’ve been conversing with our sales force all day so that says a lot.
The consensus across all fields of science that are involved with evolution is not only that it is true but is one of the best supported theories in science.
This makes you a moron of staggeringly gigantic levels.
Is that what you did to get you to this state of incredibly arrogant ignorance?
Ok we have a close runner up for the dumbest thing I’ve read today.
Thaddeus has poe on his shoes and unfortunately it reeks.
*yawn* Evidence, please.
Interesting. And?
The middle school you attend had a snow day today, right?
Yeah that last bit was too much.
Posted by: Thaddeus | December 19, 2008
Ignorance. Aristotle’s speculations about evolution are well-documented. It was not impossible to speak out against the orthodoxy, as is demonstrated by Copernicus and Galileo. Newton himself was not afraid to privately entertain radical thoughts, such as his rejection of the Trinity.
Nevermind that Aristotle could not even get the amount of teeth in a woman’s mouth right. And, please, let us talk about how well people with publicly expressed unorthodox ideas were treated when The Catholic Church was at the height of it’s power. Disingenuous git.
You evolutionists crack me up!
The point is this, science is falsifiable. It is part of the very definition. Ignorant git.
I don’t think the brain came in a Darwinian manner. In fact, it is disprovable. Simple mechanisms can’t yield the brain.
– Kurt Godel
Yippee! A mathematician talking about the brain. Try some recent research by people in the field.
Biology is a female subject. It isn’t a science. God created life, so it’s engineering (not biology) which is relevant.
Are you saying the biology is a lesser subject? Not only are you ignorant, you are also a misogynist git.
Hey, all of you doctors! You really are engineers. Thus spoketh the dumbass.
I’m calling Poe on Thaddeus. The “Biology is a female subject” bit was just too much even for a rabid creobot to throw out.
If he asks me for my starship, yeah.
But seriously (relatively), I know better to attack an actual god. I’d work quietly behind the scenes to pit him against another powerful entity, preferably from the Ninth Circle. And since this would mean there’s an afterlife, I’d channel Jack Kirby as a consultant.
Am I the only one who can reference Star Trek 5, Dante and “new Gods” comic books in one short post, or what?
Or what wins, hands down.
Posted by: ‘Tis Himself | December 19, 2008
I’m calling Poe on Thaddeus. The “Biology is a female subject” bit was just too much even for a rabid creobot to throw out.
Poe or not, he is still an idiot. But we have to remember, the catholic church does not have much love for females unless she is is unreal.
I don’t think the brain came in a Darwinian manner. In fact, it is disprovable. Simple mechanisms can’t yield the brain. – Thaddeus, quoting Godel.
Perhaps you’d like to supply us with Godel’s proof of this claim? Then we’ll have something other than your stupidity to discuss.
So, I’ve got my Irony Meter (I’ve had to replace it several times), but has anyone invented the “Poe Meter” yet? I think we all need one.
Get me a Poemeter- stat!
This may help explain the Salem hypothesis (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salem_hypothesis). Creationists really can’t tell the difference between biology and engineering.
As for what he means by “female subject,” maybe Janine’s right, and he’s saying it’s easy. Or perhaps he thinks ‘biology’ only refers to that drippy new age form of vitalism called “Therapeutic Touch,” which some nurses have been touting as a form of female-sensitive “energy science.” Or maybe he thinks anatomy class is for studying pictures of naked women. We can only guess.
Do not waste your money on a cheal Poe meter. Even military-grade Poe-dar is unreliable.
Jack Chick’s portrait of Richard Dawkins did have a certain je ne sais quoi.
Cheal or exlensive, it doesn’t matter.
Blake #127 that’s awesome.
‘Tis Himself @119, Poe in that Thaddeus is just bullshitting in order to troll for lulz, sure.
While you are arranging things to your popetastic likings, could you see fit to allow the spraying of pressurized cheese-like food susbtitute on the body of christ?
And Norman in #71 was simply confusing the law of fives with the hand of god. Happens all the time.
As an aside, if anything, the female is the superior sex ;)
Janine, Vile Bitch #122
Many of the fundamentalist Christian churches are anti-female as well. They believe in “women be subservient to your husbands” and women were created second, sinned first, and should keep silence.
You biologists out there, here’s a tip…Google “Second Law of Thermodynamics”. In the words of Arthur Stanley Eddington (a devout Christian, by the way):
That’s all for now. It took me around ten minutes to disprove evolution, this must be a personal best. I should bring a stopwatch next time.
Alright biologists, now you can get back to saving ugly whales and hugging inanimate trees.
Yes, in Galileo’s time, it wasn’t impossible to speak out against the orthodoxy. That is, if one doesn’t mind being accused of heresy.
Theories are not “proven” or “disproven.” They are supported or unsupported. And the theory of evolution is supported by abundant evidence that far outweighs any other current scientific theory.
Also, basing an argument on the assumption that “God made life” makes for a pretty weak argument. Especially in this circle. And in reality.
Female subject? What? Biology is not a science? Riiight.
Since we can all be popes, I have now chosen my pope name.
Fellow pedants please note that “XLII” is part of the name, not a count of Hilariuses. Also note that I don’t care that Hilarius is a male name. I can gender-bend when I want to.
Janine, I like Popessa better than Popecita, it’s nicely grandiose. Viva la Popessa!
Aaaaaaa! Thad has exposed our secret ultimate weaknes…The 2LT Argument! We are no match for this genius with THE WHOLE OF SCIENCE behind him…run!!
(Actually, I just ran into Santa, doing a little pregame reconnaisance, checking out the new chimneys and such, and asked him if Thad had been bad or good. He replied, and I quote, “Poe-Ho-Ho!!!”)
Thaddeus: “You biologists out there, here’s a tip…Google “Second Law of Thermodynamics”.”
Game Over. Confirmed Poe.
If we’re giving ourselves papal names, I want to be Formosus II, in honor of Formosus of the Cadaver Synod.
You biologists out there, here’s a tip…Google “Second Law of Thermodynamics”. – Thaddeus
Here’s a tip, shit-for-brains: the 2nd Law applies only to closed systems, without an external source of energy. The Earth is not a closed system: there’s this big, bright yellow thing that appears in the sky during the day. We scientists call it “the sun”. The increase in entropy occurring in the sun as it produces the light and heat that has powered life (and hence evolution) on Earth massively outweighs the entropy decrease on Earth due to evolution.
Thaddeus troll:
You idiot! That’s been well and truly covered just recently.
Here’s a tip – if you think some creationist drivel is arguable, it’s already been argued here. Search this site for answers to all your potential claims, and you’ll find responses all nicely pre-written.
Thaddeus #134 wrote:
By citing the second law of thermodynamics???
I think you need to show your work.
Look, evolution is happening today, at this very moment. Replication, variation, selection. No magic. No special forces. No mysterious energies coming from somewhere else. The same basic processes then as now, extended over time.
You seem to be confusing the Theory of Evolution with Magic Fairy Dust. No, that’s the mechanism for Creationism. Keep it straight.
I think you mean isolated systems?
:)
The pope is evil. PZ (I think) is not evil, therfor or hence PZ is not the pope… or ever will be. Tomorrow I’m serving swedish meatballs and traditionally happy monkey dinner to my best friends.. I’m a lucky man.. Happy monkey ta ya all!
PZ Myers as the head of the Roman Catholic Church?
Sounds like a winner to me.
For one thing, he would change the dress code for clerics to dead butch. I am so tired of seeing those guys running around in gowns, tiaras, and tacky accessories.
Thaddeus @134 proclaimed:
Thaddeus, the Nobel Prize committee is on line 2.
Not only is Thaddeus a disingenuous, ignorant and misogynistic git, he is also highly unoriginal.
What an idiot. Thaddeus, seriously. You think we haven’t heard that thousands of times before?
Google closed system and thermodynamics then looks up the difference between entropy and disorder.
Then after that tell me about how there is no increasing order in any system.
I can wait.
Thaddeus: BBWWHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAH
ehum.. Seriously?
Nitpicking the difference between closed and isolated systems yet arguing that the 2nd LoT “disproves evolution”?
Poe City.
Thaddeus troll, what’s amusing is you think your trolling isn’t seen for what it is. You’re a source of amusement.
Thaddeus doesn’t even know about open and closed systems. TSTKHS
Thaddeus shit-for-brains@143,
I don’t know what distinction you’re trying to draw, but since Earth is nowhere near being either closed nor isolated by any relevant criterion, it’s immaterial: the 2nd law does not constrain what may happen on Earth, hence does not disprove evolution. Now fuck off unless you have something new to say, you tedious little fart.
Thank you, Thaddeus. You do my work so well. Spread the fear, uncertainty and doubt about science as best you can, for that is the only path by which the world may be destroyed and our hidden master claim his long denied earthly throne.
Sincerely,
Lesrė D’Ville
I gotta side with those thinking ‘ol thad is pulling chains.
stinks of poorly done satire.
that said, since it is poorly done, no matter what, all I have to say in conclusion is…
*yawn*
DiMilo: varifrån jobbar du?
Yeah. Probably Poe but I’ve been “itchin’ fer a fite” all day. Dealing with our entire stupid sales force being the more computer illiterate humans on earth.
I just love the 2nd Law of Thermodynamic arguments. I always counter with the Gibb’s equation, taught in every freshman college chemistry course in the country. Even a veteran troll decided to keep quit after that.
Rev.BigDumbChimp,
Be glad you don’t have to deal with Marketing. ;)
You really haven’t been paying attention, have you, Fly? If you did, perhaps you would learn something.
“rude”: Oh, my, yes. Definitely. With relish.
“ignorant”: Nope. We have plenty of people here who know every bit as much Bible lore and legend and doctrine as you do, yet reject it in full knowledge. That’s probably the unpardonable sin, isn’t it? For the most part, we don’t believe a jot or tittle of your cloying faith.
If you want a mission field where you have even a prayer of a chance, you might seek elsewhere. Your small skill set is not equal to the task you’ve taken on here (and God has obviously not seen fit to supply your lack, which is curiously contrary to his ostensible promises to you; be sure to chew the big bugger out next time you talk to him).
I’m in charge of all IT for a fairly big company. I deal with all departments.
Marketing sucks, but nothing, NOTHING is as frustrating as a bunch of ego maniac sales men. The worst part being they are all over the south east and not in the city I’m in.
You don’t frighten me, evolutionist pig dogs. Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called “Nick Gotts,” you and all your silly evolutionist ayyy-theists.
Your first act as Pope should be:
To excommunicate the entire church – every single last soul – the entire College of Cardinals, Bill Donahue, all those well-meaning nuns, and every member of every congregation anywhere.
Your second act will be:
To declare the Catholic Church defunct – for lack of membership.
You will be declared “best Pope ever” by atheists (and probably a lot of Jews, Muslims, and Protestants) everywhere!
How many posts can a creobot post, before we can call him a poe?
Yes and how many screes can a IDiod make, before he concedes he’s just slow?
How many facts does it take till he knows, he’s been duped by a bronze–age side show?
Poor Thaddeus, and Rooke, poor Robert and the fly, reality forever passed them by.
Thaddeus, you are not allowed to make use of Python quotes.
I’ve never understood people who troll for lulz. Is it some sort of social/mental disorder?
But I am willing to make an exception if you are willing to take part of The Upperclass Twit Of The Year competition.
Hi Anders. I’m afraid I don’t speak Svenska (my grandparents did, though). But to answer (what I think is) your question, New York.
Michael X,
When you were at school, did you come across some kid who needed attention so badly but were so pathetic the only way they could get it was to do stupid things in public?
This Thaddeus specimen is one of those, but older and too cowardly to do them in public.
Rev.BigDumbChimp,
Being an IT guy I have a feeling you may already be familiar with Sharky. But just in case:
http://www.computerworld.com/departments/opinions/sharktank
Helps me keep my perspective on occasion.
Y’know how on those celebrity roasts some of the people are funny and some are just stoopid? Trolling is the same way. A well-done trolling is a thing of beauty (hint: Thaddeus is not a well-done troll). The key is to include a hint that’s a dead giveaway to those in the know. That’s what makes it funny. I myself have seen a number of clever (or “ivory-billed”) trolls. Kevin S. Wilson was the king back in the day, over on the newsgroups, in that one religion that nobody discusses, because it involves Knowledge going In and Bullshit coming Out.
Sadly, you can’t troll cleverly in any field in which Poe’s law applies, because there is no such thing as a dead giveaway. So give it up, Thad. Just not funny. Points for trying, but alas trolling is scored like golf.
Yeah I’m familiar and it does take the edge off. I can relate to soooo many of those stories.
Golly PZ, will your staff come with a lighted phone like that of your subordinate?!
oh. I thought it was a cute maths joke… and then you tell me it’s just obtuse Pharyngu-in-joke (sorry, couldn’t refrain meself)
You learn something every day…
Today I learned (from a fraud) that Kurt Gödel was a vitalistic Lamarckian mystic who spoke about biology and evolution despite not having the slightest notion of what evolution entails — as demonstrated by his words themselves.
The quote from above is incomplete; it appears in full in Darwin’s Dangerous Idea:
I don’t think the brain came in a Darwinian manner. In fact, it is disprovable. Simple mechanisms can’t yield the brain. I think the basic elements of the universe are simple. Life force is a primitive element of the universe and it obeys certain laws of action. These laws are not simple and not mechanical.
Dennett’s footnote for the quote says that Gödel said it in 1971, and appears in Wang 1993 , and to also see Wang 1974, which states:
“Gödel believes that mechanism in biology is a prejudice of our time which will be disproved. In this case one disproval, in Gödel’s opinion, will consist in a mathematical theorem to the effect that the formation within geological times of a human body by the laws of physics (or any other laws of a similar nature), starting from a random distribution of elementary particles and the field, is about as unlikely as the separation by chance of the atmosphere into its components. ”
Of course, it is well known that Gödel was flaky, but I never realized how much of a flake he was in biology. I mean, really, that last quote is just nuts.
But note that he does not say that “God did it”; he invokes a pervasive vitalistic aetheric field. Woo!
PS: I support the election of Pope Cephalopod I, and his recognition of Happy Monkey. Amen.
Cath – Rest easy. Hilaria is the Goddess of hilarity, happiness, laughter and joy.
Who knew trees were inanimate? Funny, I always thought they were alive …
Yawn, gawd does reveal himself to anyone caring to look. Sistine Chapel, gawd moons mankind. Third rate christian punk.
‘Tis Himself @80: Considering the last pope named Pius was P the XII, shouldn’t there be Pius XIII through XIX before PZ can be P the XX?
I’m thinking just Pope Pi would be enough. I’m not sure now many successors it would take to reach Pope Pi the Pi, though, or how to express that in Roman numerals.
As for where to wear the ring: Unless it’s a PA, who cares?
Very easy: you can marry first and get called by God later. You can, in other words, be married and a Roman Catholic priest; it just has to be in this order.
Oooooooh no. You see,
the Holy Spirit meddles with the free will ofthe cardinals freely choose to be open for inspiration by the Holy Spirit, so that, in the end, a majority of cardinals carries out the choice of the Holy Spirit, Who alone elects the pope. Easy-PZ.You mean there are defenders of the celibate who are not themselves clergymen (and therefore have to)? I didn’t know that.
Still laughing at comment 35.
Thaddeus has hit 100% everything wrong that he stated.
Don’t even respond anymore to liars like him. You can patiently show him each thing is wrong as people have done here and he just makes up more shit.
This is what the reich-ous fundamentalists are all about – Lies, deception and hate. Its the religious way of living.
That is an interesting depiction of you. For all it’s worth, it is one of those things worth keeping and remembering.
Some dexterous person might want to knit the lovely scarf in the drawing and send it to PZ.
Just sayin.
OK, maybe with a different motif.
Aw. PZ looks kind of cute in a dress and funny hat.
You mean there are defenders of the celibate who are not themselves clergymen (and therefore have to)? I didn’t know that.
It seems to me that if you’re a lay Catholic male, there’s certain benefits in the clergy being out of the matrimonial market.
Celibate nuns, OTOH, is an abomination.
Damnit, the first two sentences there were supposed to be in blockquote.
you can marry first and get called by God later. You can, in other words, be married and a Roman Catholic priest; it just has to be in this order. – David Marjanović, OM
No, that won’t work, or married Roman Catholic men would be allowed to become priests. It’s only priests in other denominations (which the Vatican recognises as having valid priestly orders, i.e. the Orthodox and Eastern Rite Catholic Churches, but not Protestants) who are allowed to become married Roman Catholic priests.
One biology professor has more value than all the popes in history.
Of course even one garbage man has more value than all the popes in history.
Off topic, but wonderful news:
Obama science picks hailed as signal of policy shift
Nick Gotts #189,
Actually, some Protestant ministers are allowed to become married Roman Catholic priests.
Feynmaniac,
Well there you go. So there’s still a chance I could become an RC priest without having to divorce my beloved wife! There’s my project for 2009!
PZ: Some Protestant denominations (both here and the US) regard the Pope as the anti-Christ:
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=AoCU6Clpkxk
So you might very well fit the bill !!!! (I’m being facetious by the way)
Hey, PZ, cool Christ-on-a-stick, where’d you get it?
Become a Pope of Our Lady Eris!