This is probably a serious site. Probably. It could be satire, but the line between satire and Christianity is razor thin. Read Christian dating tips, and judge for yourself.
First rule of Christian dating: it’s pretty much like going to church. Boring, chaste, and offering nothing but faint hopes. No intimacy is allowed, not even a kiss.
Choose to not kiss – At least until you are engaged to be married. Okay, this can be extremely difficult, but if you can follow this one dating tip then most of the others will happen naturally. Even kissing once you are engaged can be very dangerous. It’s better to not kiss at all until your wedding day! Before you laugh and click to another page with thoughts that we must be insane, consider these points on kissing.
There are only two other dating tips: go on group dates, and treat each other with respect. The last one is fine (although their advice there is to ask yourself “what would Jesus do?”, which is simply another lust-killer.) Basically, they’re saying the way to court someone for a sexual relationship is to avoid all physical contact with the person.
That wedding day is going to be some fun, isn’t it? They won’t know how to kiss, they won’t know how to have sex, and they’re going to expect paradise when all they’re going to get is clumsy fumbling and awkward embarrassment.
But why, you might ask, should Christians avoid kissing?
A kiss begins to sexually stimulate a man instantly.
Well, yes. That’s the point, and it’s a good thing. Notice the subtle bias, though: women are passive, there’s no consideration about whether maybe she could also be sexually aroused. Maybe that’s saying something about Christian men.
If you aren’t kissing then you won’t become tempted to take things to a more intimate level. You’ll be protecting yourself and the purity of your date.
Protecting yourself from intimacy … how revealing. But it gets funnier:
If a Christian man is kissing his date and it gives him an erection (often just the possibility of a kiss can do this), is God or his date being honored?
God cares about the vasocongestive state of your pelvic floor! I don’t recall anything in the Bible that says anything about god’s preferences for your subtle physiological condition.
As for the date…yeah, baby, you’re being honored.
Is this healthy for the man to get sexually aroused time after time without sexual release? When men become sexually aroused a large amount of blood flows to the genitals. If ejaculation does not occur; the build up of blood can become painful. That just can’t be a good thing for anyone! Ouch! :O)
Come on, blue balls? That’s the oldest excuse in the book. Yes, arousal can be painful if there is no release, but it does no harm. This is usually used as an excuse for release, not a rationalization for fearing even to begin to find some sexual interest in your partner.
A kiss will surely break down your barriers and leave you in a position that could ultimately devastate your relationship with your date and separate you from a close walk with God. Self-control seems to be the better option.
What’s wrong with breaking down barriers between two people? Isn’t that the whole point of dating? And if a mere kiss will devastate a relationship and alienate you from god, what about all that sex after the wedding day? If god gets pissed off at skin contact between two people, what magic happens at a wedding ceremony to suddenly change his opinion? He’s a fickle weirdo, that god.
Just think how magical that first kiss will be if it is saved for your wedding day!
If that’s true, think how magical it would be to kiss someone every day!
Look, it’s very simple: intimacy, kissing, and sex are either fun and rewarding and important element of a relationship, or they aren’t. It doesn’t change because some sanctimonious old gomer in funny clothes flips a switch on your wedding day. The choice to pursue a physical relationship is a choice to be made by two people, and insisting that the mediation of a third (especially if it’s some celibate geezer, or ignorant virgin like the author of that Christian dating article) does not help — it’s just creepy.