Local training camp for fascist god-bots


The Minnesota Family Council is a spawn of Dobson (it’s got “family” in the title, so you know it’s got to be evil), and it’s usually one of those organizations that lobbies to get legislative support for their hatred of women and gays. They are not nice people. If you’re ever in this state and want to see some splendid examples of calcified brains, this is the group you want to track down.

Anyway, they’re starting a new training program: the Minnesota Worldview Leadership Project. It’s the weirdest thing. Apparently, it’s a seminar and discussion series that is supposed to turn you into an even more fervent theocrat, ready to shape the United States into a more Christian nation. And, as you might guess, they don’t like evolution. They’re reading Nancy Pearcey, and John West is flying in to give a seminar…wait a minute, I thought Intelligent Design was a secular theory? Nah, never mind.

The series is rather thoroughly incoherent. In December, they’re discussing naturalism — and not in a good way, I’m sure — with a reading from C.S. Lewis and a showing of the Jack Nicholson movie, “About Schmidt”. Don’t ask me why. I’m sure it will be like the contortionist exhibit at the freak show.

So, can I go? I looked at the long list of requirements that must be fulfilled before they will let you be a Minnesota Worldview Leader. I met one.

  • Life-long pursuit of learning and truth

Nice. I think, though, that if that requirement were honestly applied, attendance would hit zero. That’s because the rest of the requirements are in contradiction to that one.

I don’t meet these, darn it.

  • A vital faith in Jesus Christ
  • A forward-looking life-long commitment to promote and teach biblical
    worldview to others
  • A passion to shape a truth-based culture that increasingly embodies biblical principles
  • Commitment to ten month formal learning from September 2007 to June 2007. Training will include three mini-weekend conferences in Twin Cities (dates to be determined), monthly small group meetings, special activities during the year, regular study materials and 500 word summaries of material read each month.
  • Must be an active member in good standing of a church
  • Completion of application, including acceptance and signing of Statement of Faith.

What’s with these far right religious nuts and their Statements of Faith, anyway? It’s like you’ve got to swear an oath that you are a True Christian™ before they’ll let you watch “About Schmidt” and get told that evolution sucks.

Oh, well. Anyone else want to learn the wacky ways of the wingnut Minnesotan? Lie and swear to the above requirements, fork over $500, and you too can become an expert theocrat.

Comments

  1. g says

    Must be an active member in good standing of a church

    Surely there’s the FSM or some pirate church to help you out here.

  2. Brian says

    It’s a pity that religious types can’t be sued for lying. They wouldn’t know truth if it shagged their leg and left a stain.

  3. raven says

    Ah c’mon. It could be worse. A lot worse. What if it was a training camp for Xian suicide bombers and terrorists?

    That is one of the differences between Moslem and Xian fundies. The Moslems are much more likely to go up in a big explosion taking as many fellow humans with them as they can….So far anyway.

    Something to look forward to.

  4. Kseniya says

    [ notices that there’s a new blog entry at exactly 1:00 a.m. every single night (well, ok, not every night, but still…) ]

    I think the late-night postings are done automatically, on a schedule.

  5. Hank says

    pksp: Cue fanfares. Naturalistic Worldviewman cannot rest while ignorance and superstition remains at large. Some more fanfares.

  6. 386sx says

    What’s with these far right religious nuts and their Statements of Faith, anyway?

    I guess they don’t believe people when they just say they have faith. Not really. I think they want to make their faith “binding” or something like that. Lol. Not. It’s probably another superstitious ritual thing.

  7. autumn says

    To raven,

    A friend of mine once opined that Islam, a religion younger than the other Abrahamic faiths, was simply going through the same homicidal and suicidal phase that characterised both early Jews and Christians. The older faiths have had reformations that forced a tiny little degree of tolerance into their philosophies. Islam, according to my pal, was simply in the “normal” phase of any young faith, which is a murderous outrage and sense of ultimate entitlement to rightousness, resulting in the deaths of countless thousands.

    Happens all the time.

  8. Don Smith, FCD says

    Sadly, PZ, I don’t think you read that requirement correctly and you actually don’t qualify at all. You see they left out some words that are implicitedly understood by all fundamentalists:

    Life-long pursuit of learning (the bible) and truth (inherent in the unerring word of God).

    Don

  9. AlanWCan says

    ten month formal learning from September 2007 to June 2007.

    They’re either not good at proofreading or at math. June to Sept 2007 is only 4 months. And how do they do it backwards in time?

  10. Molly, NYC says

    The Minnesota Family Council is a spawn of Dobson (it’s got “family” in the title, so you know it’s got to be evil), and it’s usually one of those organizations that lobbies to get legislative support for their hatred of women and gays.

    That’s because when these people use “family” as an adjective in these titles (and in related expressions, e.g., “family values”), it’s code for “We feel entitled to micromanage everyone’s sex life.”

    What’s surprising isn’t that these nosy Parker organizations exist; it’s their use of the word “family.” Its usage is always about advocating the most prurient, unwholesome attitude imaginable about sex; it never means they’re going to try to help actual families get things they could use. They’re never going to push for after-school programs or inexpensive day care or kids’ health insurance or even zoning for granny flats, or anything else a reasonable person would associate with encouraging a happy, stable home life–for anyone. They’ve pirated a perfectly good word in their attempt to camouflage their sick agenda.

  11. Graham Douglas says

    An aphorism I came up with some years ago goes:

    “Never trust an entity that has the words ‘Truth’ or “People’s’ as part of its name.”

    Looks like I’ll have to add “Family” to the list.

  12. Dylan Stafne says

    “What’s surprising isn’t that these nosy Parker organizations exist; it’s their use of the word “family.”

    They’ve pirated a perfectly good word in their attempt to camouflage their sick agenda.”
    Molly, that paragraph is awesome.

  13. Charley says

    I’d like to make a witty quip, but the seriousness of this garbage hits too close to home. The Truth Project is a nationally distributed Focus on the Family series like the one you mentioned (see link on Minnesota Family Council page). My in-laws are into this stuff up to their necks. Their attempt to show one of the videos to my kids (the ID one) has seriously strained our relationship. I think they will lose interest in their own grandchildren if they are not allowed to try to “save” them. This Christian right propaganda is powerful, sick shit.

  14. xebecs says

    Islam, according to my pal, was simply in the “normal” phase of any young faith, which is a murderous outrage and sense of ultimate entitlement to rightousness, resulting in the deaths of countless thousands.

    Does you pal have an estimate as to when the Baha’i will begin their murderous period?

  15. True Bob says

    You know, I wouldn’t mind so much if the country acted more christian, in the actual ‘How cheeses acted’ way. Unfortunately, that’s not the real agenda. It’s all about the power, the control over teh other (like us). If these christers did what cheeses said/did, they wouldn’t be proseletysing everywhere, and insisting ‘my way or the highway’ and pumping up the hate. Where in the cabinet is that Department of Peace?

  16. says

    They’ve pirated a perfectly good word in their attempt to camouflage their sick agenda.

    Yeah, well, Orwell warned there’d be charlatans and evil-doers like this. It’s almost as if the Dobsonites had just cut and pasted the manual right out of Orwell’s books, no?

    Further irony: When a state government comes up with education standards that include a good dose of serious science with respect to evolution, these “family” groups will shout in unison: “Big Brother!”

    Family=weasel in this case, in the Ingsoc thesaurus for doublespeak translators.

    You know, “Ignorance is knowledge!”

    That sort of stuff.

    P. S.: Anybody want to wager they didn’t bother to get the rights to show that movie? Respect for the law: HA!

  17. Rob says

    What’s with these far right religious nuts and their Statements of Faith, anyway? It’s like you’ve got to swear an oath that you are a True Christian™ before they’ll let you watch “About Schmidt” and get told that evolution sucks.

    The CU at my university uses that to ensure they don’t get any undesirable Christians joining your group ie Catholics, Mormons or JWs or simply any Christians that disagree with using the bible to justify poor treatment of women, homosexuals etc

  18. jlm 2 says

    “The Truth Project™”

    Damn, the truth has been trademarked!

    I guess the trade secret route wasn’t working so good.

    We should have thought of that.

  19. NC Paul says

    Why not go for the full house for maximum truthiness:

    The People’s Democratic Family Truth Project ™.

  20. CortxVortx says

    What’s with these far right religious nuts and their Statements of Faith, anyway?

    And here I thought that it was only the Devil who required a signed pact…

    — CV

  21. frog says

    PZ,

    Good to see that you’re calling these people by name – it is a variety of fascism we’re up against.

    What kind of fascism, though? Should we call them theofascists? It is a world-wide movement, beyond the bounds of Christianity, but working in a synergetic fashion (if not always directly cooperating, and often in direct conflict). But they are theocratic, nationalist, totalitarian, militarist and often willing to use terroristic tactics; American Southern Baptist, the Iranian regime and Hindu nationalists have a lot in common.

    Funny thing, the one fundamentalist group that is different are the jihadis, who are anti-nationalist. Deadly dangerous, but in a different way from the aforementioned groups.

  22. Uber says

    But they are theocratic, nationalist, totalitarian, militarist and often willing to use terroristic tactics; American Southern Baptist, the Iranian regime and Hindu nationalists have a lot in common.

    The Southern Baptists gets a bad and deserved rap but they are no worse than catholics some of whom insist politicians vote this way or that on some bishops whim. I’d take the southern baptists any day over that insanity.

  23. MJ Memphis says

    “The People’s Democratic Family Truth Project ™.”

    Hmm… still missing something…
    The American Patriotic People’s Youth Democratic Family Truth Project ™.

    Which, for maximum irony, would be run by 60 year old corporate propaganda flaks who live with their 20 year old third wives in the Cayman Islands for tax purposes and lobby for both teaching creationism and suppressing scientific research that threatens their bottom lines. Preferably while ignoring their child support obligations and cruising airport restroom stalls in their spare time.

  24. Shay says

    “Anyone else want to learn the wacky ways of the wingnut Minnesotan?”

    This is the state that elected Jesse Ventura, are you surprised?

  25. says

    I just knew that there would be a fee involved as soon as I started reading this. $500? And here we are offering our crazy ideas for free…

  26. Sarcastro says

    What’s with these far right religious nuts and their Statements of Faith, anyway?

    Their statement of faith is, simply, the Nicene Creed. Well, the 1st Council of Constantinople version so Arians are right out. And it includes the Filioque Clause which Eastern Orthodox regards as a heresy so none of them can join either. And, of course, Protestants who believe in Sola Scriptura reject the Nicene Creed…

    So, basically, this is a Catholics only thing (Anglicans might be able to swing it). Of course tons of “protestants” will join because the more religious you are the less you know about your religion apparently.

  27. Bob L says

    What’s with these far right religious nuts and their Statements of Faith, anyway? It’s like you’ve got to swear an oath that you are a True Christian™ before they’ll let you watch “About Schmidt” and get told that evolution sucks.

    Says a lot of what they are about that they are so defensive about it. You would think if they had THE TRUTH™ they would want to share it with everyone and not hide it. You know, share knowledge like those evil secular scientists do.

  28. Sarcastro says

    What kind of fascism, though? Should we call them theofascists? It is a world-wide movement, beyond the bounds of Christianity, but working in a synergetic fashion (if not always directly cooperating, and often in direct conflict). But they are theocratic, nationalist, totalitarian, militarist and often willing to use terroristic tactics

    The word you are looking for is Falange.

  29. frog says

    Sarcasto:

    Phalangist – interesting call. It does explain the contradiction of Libertarianism’s alliance with these fascists, and how the concepts of “drowning the government” coexist with a vast expansion of the governemnt.

    Just repeating the mistakes of the last turn of the century.

  30. stogoe says

    And here we are offering our crazy ideas for free…

    Hey! That guy’s got a machine that breathes for him! And here I am, using my lungs like a sucker.

  31. chaos_engineer says

    I’m wondering if this is just an excuse for watching a bunch of R-rated movies.

    February’s topic is “The Making of the New Spirituality: The Eclipse of Western Religious Tradition” and they’re screening “The Matrix”. And, yes, “The Matrix” is basically a secularized version of the Jewish Messiah story, so it fits in with the theme. But why not screen one of the Harry Potter movies instead? Those have the same theme, without all the sex and swearing and graphic violence.

    I see that they’re showing “Inherit the Wind” at the 3rd meeting. That sounds dangerous; what if people learn something and they don’t come to the rest of the meetings? Maybe they’ll show it with the sound turned off and provide tomatoes to throw at the screen.

  32. Sastra says

    I suspect that in this context the Statement of Faith is to keep out evolutionists and spies from the Illuminati, who might try to infiltrate the seminars so that they may either intrude questions which undermine the faith of those taking the course, or use the information to set up their own counter-seminars.

  33. MAJeff says

    The Minnesota Family Council is a spawn of Dobson (it’s got “family” in the title, so you know it’s got to be evil), and it’s usually one of those organizations that lobbies to get legislative support for their hatred of women and gays.

    I did my MA thesis on the MFC and sex education (particularly it’s framing of the issue–gasp–aparently deluded sociologist that I am.) The weren’t spawned by Dobson. They were originally formed as the Berean League, and their specific purpose was to fight the repeal of Minnesota’s sodomy statute. They’ve expanded, but their basic hatred of queer folks remains central.

    They’re evil folks.

  34. Nick Martin says

    I don’t know… perhaps they realized that truth is different from their Truth™ (which is, surprisingly, not true at all).

    The more things push “faith,” the less they seem to understand what it means.

  35. says

    Raven, check out how many bombings London has had and how many of them were done by Christians. And also check out how many bombings in Sri Lanka were done by Bhuddists. Countries in turmoil tend to produce irrational extremists who mass murder regardless of just what brand of irrationality they claim as their own.

  36. raven says

    Raven, check out how many bombings London has had and how many of them were done by Christians.

    Why bother. It is a matter of public record that Xian terrorists have been active in the USA for over a decade. The death toll for MDs alone is 7 dead, 17 attempted murders, and close to 200 wounded, some seriously.

    The federal building in Oklahoma wasn’t bombed by an evolutionary biologist shouting Darwin.

    Add in the gays killed and the nonwhites killed by Xian aryan identity fruitcakes.

    A few dead here, a few murdered there, a few more murdered somewhere else. After a while it adds up.

    Still, it could be a lot worse. And given the fanaticism of the fundie cults and the emptiness of their miserable lives, it may well do so. To quote PZ, these are not nice people.

    Their big hope is that god comes back in an apocalypse and murders everybody so they don’t have to make the effort.

  37. Galbinus_Caeli says

    Does it strike anyone as odd that the statement of faith is basically swearing to God that you believe in God?

    I mean if you don’t believe, then the oath has no weight, and if you do believe, it is redundant.