So now I’m making guest appearances in web comics?

So there I am, reading an amusing couple of local comics mocking the conservative media, and my name comes up. And my picture.


I must protest, it’s totally inaccurate. I would never get such a soul-satisfying introduction, and if I were on TV, I’d be sure to wear my best eyepatch, the one with the gold filigree.


  1. says

    And your beard color is wrong. It should be less orange and more RED, to properly reflect the amount of blood spilled on it from your recent feasting on the flesh of Christian patriots.

  2. Jameson says

    I went to a pirate-themed restaurant in D.C. last night, and my waiter — after commenting on my own dime-store eye patch purchased for the occasion — lifted his with a dramatic flourish to reveal a puckered socket. He claimed it was gouged out in a street fight.

    The food probably wasn’t that good anyway.

  3. commissarjs says

    This just brings me back to the courage that PZ showed during his interview with Simon Owens when he discussed the loss of his leg, hand, and eye.

    Simon Owens: Thank you for coming Dr. Myers. Before we officially begin would you care to relate the story of how you lost your leg, your hand, and your eye.

    PZ Myers: Arrr, sure I’ll be sharin’ that yarn sonny Jim. It was in the peugot sound where I was divin’ huntin’ for the famed giant devilfish that dwell therein.

    Simon Owens: Devilfish?

    PZ Myers: Aye, that be the scientific name for the octopus. Anyway, a behemoth the likes I’ve never seen rose from the depths and ate me leg. I had a giant cuttlebone attached to me stump to allow me to walk and remind me of that fateful day.

    Simon Owens: Wow, that’s incredible. I’m amazed you survived.

    PZ Myers: Aye it was a close call but it turns out I’m filled with more venom than even a mighty devilfish can stand so he let me go.

    I lost me left hand due to a laboratory accident involving rabid zebrafish. It was a sight to behold, the horrid beasties feasting on me flesh. I’ve nursed a great hatred since that fateful day and use zebrafish in all me ungodly experiments. I had a hook installed to allow me to continue me work and to get the attention of wayward students. har har har yo ho ho

    Simon Owens: That’s incredible. What about your left eye?

    PZ Myers: Arrr… Well it was a few days after me hook was installed. I’d been drinking rum, forgot I had a hook, and went to itch me eye…

  4. Tatarize says

    Contrary to popular belief, eyepatches don’t mean that you’ve lost your eye. They could mean that you’re keeping one eye in the dark so that you can jump below deck, switch the eye patch side and suddenly have the ability to see in the dark. Something which would otherwise take about 20 minutes which you probably don’t have in a pinch.

  5. emkay says

    I was going to ask what the hell that purple thing sticking out of your head is, but I think Matt#2 was close, it’s obviously a tentacle from the squid under the hat!

  6. csrster says

    It’s true, I swear it. PZ became an atheist because God spends all his miracle-time curing cancer and parkinsons but refuses to grow PZ’s arm, leg and eye back for him. Two-out-of-three would do!