Jesus Christ has returned to Earth! He returned on Palm Sunday, April 1, 2012. Palm Sunday is a sacred day in the Christian Religion It is one week before Easter Sunday when Jesus, the Christ, was said by Christians to have recovered from being dead. On Palm Sunday, Jesus rode into Jerusalem on an ass, while followers threw palm fronds in his path.
The promised reappearance of Jesus occurred at Independence, Missouri, where prophesied.
Throughout the world, the effect was instant and electric. His Holiness the Pope has stepped down from his golden throne and given his seat to the Messiah, who also took over control of all church property, banks, and other holdings. Jesus said these must be liquidated and the proceeds given to the poor.
Jesus said the new rules are still the old rules, with the Sermon on the Mount suggested as a summary and guide. The Lord brought specific attention to the rules requiring penitence and prayer to be undertaken only in private, not public, settings. In the U.S., the Department of Science has been transformed into the Department of Miracles and the Department of Education has become the Department of Dogma, with Ken Ham as its new chairman. All teachings of science, or other heresies, have been abandoned in favor of a biblical based orientation to the truth.
All war has ceased. Bibles are being dusted off and read. Persons heretofore de-baptized are being re-baptized in record numbers.
American Atheists has been disbanded. David Silverman, President of American Atheists, said the decision was the only rational option, with the Second Person of the Triune God, the Son, having now appeared in Harry Truman’s home town.
More on this fast breaking story right after “Survivor.”
Edwin Kagin © 2012.