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Part IV: In which forgotten things are unforgotten.
I am not a therapist! However, lots of people ask me a lot of the time about getting therapy, and are often willing to keep me updated on what worked and what didn’t. This four-part guide, which is essentially the sum total of every bit of advice I could think of, and a few I didn’t come up with (thank you, proofreaders and feedback-givers!) aims to make the therapist-getting part less mysterious and more accessible.
If you have had previous experiences where you found it hard to tell someone in person what had been going on, you might consider bringing in writing or notes. I have done this! It was very helpful, and meant I didn’t accidentally get too tangled up in my emotions and forget something important. Write poetry or journal in the moment and feel okay sharing it? Also a thing. Even my clinical training scenarios have included stories of clients bringing in such things, and if it means giving your therapist a clear picture of the issue it seems worth it. With one therapist, I showed up to our first meeting with data: a calendar reflecting how often I’d had trouble with my ED and significant events around each episode.
I’ve found it very helpful to avoid scheduling therapy between daily tasks. Sometimes there are surprise!emotions and I’ve felt much better when I had an hour or so to process the experience before interacting with people.
Despite liking my therapist(s) and seeing improvements as a result of therapy, I’ve often been tempted to skip sessions when I was having especially bad brain days. (If this sounds like a terrible plan, you’re correct!) My solution to getting around this was twofold. First, I set up a reminder in my phone to go off an hour before I had therapy. It read something like “Past-Kate wants you to remember that therapy makes you feel better and is worth doing” Secondly, I asked my partner to, if he ever thought of it, remind me of times when I felt really great after therapy, or point out progress I’d made. So far: success!
Sometimes insurance only covers a certain number of sessions (or your budget will only get you X amount of meetings.) I strongly encourage telling a therapist about this up front or as soon as you know—it can give them important information about structure and prioritizing how you meet, as well as allowing them to prepare you for termination of treatment.
What else would you add?
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I am actively looking for things I’ve left out, so if upon reading any section, you have unanswered questions–even if you think they are trivial or might mean you’ve missed something, please let me know. I would much rather spend time responding with “no, that’s in paragraph two” than have a whole subset of people think they didn’t read properly and not tell me I was unclear. Further, many thanks to Rita Messer for checking over the advice within.