Conservatives love Russia.

That was true well before the invasion of Ukraine. Russia under Putin has spent years positioning itself as a defender of traditional Christian values, a bulwark against the weak and decadent West, and a pure white ethnostate.

This 2017 report from Right Wing Watch shows how both white supremacists and the religious right noticed what Putin was doing, and liked it:

For Richard Spencer, the coiner of the term “Alt-Right” and a leader of the emerging white nationalist faction it represents, Russia is both the “sole” and “most powerful white power in the world.” Matthew Heimbach, head of the white nationalist Traditionalist Worker Party—and someone who, like Spencer, desires the creation of a whites-only nation-state within the U.S.—believes Russian President Vladimir Putin is the “leader of the free world,” one who has helped morph Russia into an “axis for nationalists.” Harold Covington, the white supremacist head of the secessionist Northwest Front, recently described Russia as the “last great White empire.” And former Ku Klux Klan Imperial Wizard David Duke has said he believes Russia holds the “key to white survival.”

…Since he returned to the presidency in 2012, Putin has made a concerted effort to establish his country as a center for religious, especially Christian, conservatives throughout the world, most notably for those who oppose any legal or public support for same-sex relationships. This shift has taken the form of legislation that prioritizes the interests of the Russian Orthodox Church, that rolls back abortion rights, and that sidelines attempts within the LGBT community to obtain any kind of societal acceptance.

While they’ve praised Putin on many occasions, most American conservatives had to admire Russia from a distance. Those few who tried to move there have had a bad time, largely because of the language barrier and Russian bureaucracy.

But those days may soon be over. Good news for anti-woke Western conservatives: Russia’s state-owned news agency, TASS, has announced that Putin is throwing open the doors.

Russia offers safe haven for people trying to escape Western liberal ideals

…Moscow will provide assistance to any foreigners who want to escape the neoliberal ideals being put forward in their countries and move to Russia, where traditional values reign supreme, according to a decree signed by President Vladimir Putin.

Under the document, such foreign nationals will have the right to apply for temporary residence in Russia “outside the quota approved by the Russian government and without providing documents confirming their knowledge of the Russian language, Russian history and basic laws.”

Some American conservatives are ecstatic. Alex Jones, for example, was overjoyed:

BREAKING: PUTIN JUST DROPPED A BOMBSHELL DECREE—INVITING PEOPLE FROM ACROSS THE GLOBE WHO ARE FED UP WITH THE GLOBALIST, NEOLIBERAL NIGHTMARE TO SEEK SANCTUARY IN TRADITIONAL RUSSIA!

This new decree blows the lid off the establishment’s agenda, letting freedom-loving folks bypass the usual bureaucratic nonsense like language tests or history exams. If you’re ready to reject the insane policies of your home countries that push these destructive, anti-human, neoliberal agendas, Russia is rolling out the red carpet!

The Russian government is about to compile a list of countries poisoning minds with these twisted ideals, and the Foreign Ministry is gearing up to issue visas to true patriots as soon as September! It’s time to stand up for spiritual and moral values!

Yep – if you love freedom, move to Russia! Forget those twisted, neoliberal ideals like “the right to protest” and “the right to oppose the government” and “the right to practice your own religion“. Russia has something much better: the freedom to agree with the Great Leader about everything at all times. And if you disagree, you’re free to “mysteriously” die by falling out a window!

Could Alex Jones be serious about moving? If so, how many others feel the same way? Are we going to see an exodus of religious-right figures packing their bags and buying one-way tickets to Moscow, fleeing Western liberalism for Putin’s warm embrace?

If they really want to go, I won’t stand in their way. (Insert Willy Wonka meme here.) However, for the sake of my own conscience, there’s one thing I’d encourage them to consider first.

Putin’s three-day invasion of Ukraine is dragging on into its third year, and Russia is reeling from a casualty toll that now surpasses 600,000 dead and wounded. Russian soldiers are dying in the trenches every day, getting blown up by Ukrainian drones and artillery, or being sent to their deaths in human-wave assaults. There’s no doubt that Putin desperately needs more bodies to fight his war. Where better to obtain them than to throw open the doors to willing Western dupes? Entice them to come, and once they’re settled in, inform them that they’re subject to conscription.

The fate of Russell Bentley is instructive. He was a Texan who admired Vladimir Putin and believed Russian propaganda about how Ukraine was under the thumb of Nazis. He emigrated to Russia and joined the Russian army to fight in Ukraine. Then he had a falling out with his fellow soldiers (for reasons unclear, although I’ve seen reports suggesting they suspected him of being an American spy). According to Ukraine war journalist ChrisO, they arrested him and tortured him to death.

Any conservative who’s tempted by Putin’s offer isn’t likely to listen to me. Still, if you’re thinking of moving to Russia, you’d better ask yourself: is there even the slightest possibility that Putin isn’t doing this out of altruism, but because he needs fresh meat for the grinder? Are you willing to risk that for yourselves – and your kids?