Reminder: It’s okay not to have a take


A bronze sculpture of a disembodied face with a finger to its lips

Too often, we forget that free speech includes the right not to speak. It’s a freedom we should all take advantage of more often.

This is always a timely principle, but it’s especially relevant in light of current events. A lot of us have absorbed the idea that we should have or even that we have to have an opinion about everything that happens. It’s not true. It’s okay not to have a take. In fact, sometimes it’s positively good.

Social media is part of the problem. It’s designed to be addictive, like a bottomless pit that’s always crying to be filled up. Day and night, our favorite social-media sites tug on our sleeves, nagging us to like, to comment, to share, to watch, to say something.

It’s like a stage where we all perform for the world, and while that has its good side, it exerts a constant pressure: to be witty, to be clever, to be incisive. We crave the dopamine rush of going viral, of winning the highest follower count or the post with the most thumbs up. In the aftermath of an especially newsworthy or shocking event, everyone is competing to offer up the best take, to be able to say they’re the one who called it.

However, this problem predates social media. Even before the internet, there was the urge to fit in, to be part of the in-group. Part of the way we do this is with showy professions of loyalty. We feel pressure to express the same opinions as the rest of our tribe: to pray to the same gods they pray to, to cheer the same heroes they cheer, and to boo and hiss the same villains they hate. If you don’t do this – if you stay silent when the appointed time for praying or cheering or booing arrives – you run the risk of being perceived as disloyal, of going against the consensus. Safer to chant in unison with everyone else, however you feel on the inside.

Either way, whether born of social media addiction or peer-pressure tribalism, the result is the same. It becomes a habit, a knee-jerk reflex: coming up with an instant reaction to whatever’s going on in the world or in your life, and then broadcasting it.

And this is a bad habit to fall into. As I’ve said before, it fosters a kind of mental myopia, the belief that everything is equally important and has an equal claim on your attention. You might call it soap opera syndrome: the belief that every single thing that happens is a momentous event that will Change Everything Forever, and thus demands your riveted attention.

The truth is that most events ultimately don’t matter. They pass away like clouds, here today, gone tomorrow without leaving a trace. Even more so, most world events aren’t actionable, in the sense that knowing about them doesn’t make any tangible difference to what you do or how you lead your life.

When you never withdraw from the stream of distraction, when you never allow yourself quiet time, the result is anxiety, depression and chronic stress. These aren’t inevitable responses to a broken world. They’re the symptoms of a brain that’s always on red alert, that never gets to relax or be calm or rest.

With this in mind, consider the virtues of silence. You don’t have to comment on every headline that crosses your view, or think up a retort to every obnoxious opinion, or chime in on every viral post. You don’t have to speculate on how it will affect (take your pick: the presidential election | the stock market | the Oscars | the price of groceries in Toledo). You don’t have to perform every fleeting thought for the approval of the crowd.

It’s okay to say you don’t know, you don’t have an opinion, and you’re not going to speculate. Most of all, it’s okay to log off.

Don’t take dril’s advice

Instead of doomscrolling social media or staying glued to the blaring of the TV, try something that puts your mind at ease. Go for a walk in a beautiful natural place. Cook a delicious meal. Visit a friend. Listen to music. Read a book you enjoy, or watch a TV show that makes you laugh or a movie you can quote by heart. Touch grass, as the kids say. Give yourself permission to step out of that turbulent river of rumor, gossip, speculation, and conspiracy theorizing – at least for a while.

Now, I admit this might seem hypocritical of me. As a professional blogger, broadcasting my opinions is kind of my job. But the difference is that I don’t try to speak out about every issue. I don’t feel the need to do that. I try to comment only when I feel like I have something helpful, original or interesting to say, or when I think there’s a story that’s not getting the attention it deserves.

The only counterpoint I can imagine is that silence is assent. If we don’t make our opinions known at all times, the bad guys will conclude that we’re not paying attention or don’t care about their misdeeds, and then they (whoever “they” may be) will get away with it.

To this, I’d answer that while it’s true collectively, it doesn’t create an individual duty to act on any given issue. You can believe that everyone deserves health care without going to medical school yourself. By all means, speak out on the issues that you care about the most. But obeying a self-imposed obligation to care about everything equally all the time will only lead to exhaustion and burnout. We should all do what we can, but no one can do everything, and it’s okay to acknowledge that.

Comments

  1. Katydid says

    This was excellent:

    When you never withdraw from the stream of distraction, when you never allow yourself quiet time, the result is anxiety, depression and chronic stress. These aren’t inevitable responses to a broken world. They’re the symptoms of a brain that’s always on red alert, that never gets to relax or be calm or rest. Give yourself permission to step out of that turbulent river of rumor, gossip, speculation, and conspiracy theorizing – at least for a while.

  2. Dunc says

    Another important factor: the news media has pushed the idea that the citizen’s duty to be informed means that you have to be constantly following the news. It doesn’t. In fact, most of what passes for “news” is just ephemera.

    It’s OK to turn off the news. You don’t have to follow it all, in every detail, every day, in order to know what’s going on, and you certainly don’t need to do that to know what’s important.

  3. says

    Hello Adam, its me, your spanish translator 😉 Glad you found a new place to blog, I will be following it for sure.

    One reason why people may feel the need to comment on every issue could be social media algorithms rewarding you for posting frequently. For content creators, it becomes a quantity beats quality issue, and every event gives you an opportunity to post one more tweet or one more short.

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