I think we just have to declare Bobby Henderson a false prophet, or at best someone who interpreted the divine word of the Flying Spaghetti Monster through the filter of his own cultural milieu, because have you noticed the sexist and homophobic nonsense in the gospel of the flying spaghetti monster?
Oh, hang on…have you noticed that it’s all nonsense? I think that’s part of the point. But I quite agree that if you’re trying to invent a satire of religion that’s supposed to be better than the genuine article, it would be nice if it didn’t perpetuate the social poison of the patriarchy.
Perhaps it’s time for another New Revelation…uh-oh. I just felt the influence of pasta in my belly — the carbohydrates are reaching my brain, and telling me…telling me…there is to be no afterlife in the doctrine of the FSM. We live, we die, and we’re supposed to drink our beer now, not in some magical fantasy land outside this paradise his Noodliness created for us. And this world is for men and women, transgender people and asexuals, and for gay and straight people.
Whoa, head rush. So that’s what it’s like to be a prophet. Now obey me, or we’ll have to, uh, well, ask me later, after I’ve had some carbs to fuel my prophesyin’.