Drowning is the gift produced by the holy union of liquid and one’s respiratory system.
congenital cynicsays
That’s a great poster. Same “logic” the abstinence only birth control folk use. I really enjoy it when people make a poster like that reflects the “daft” back on the brainless twits who want to keep their children ignorant.
congenital cynicsays
Ooops. I stopped reading too soon. On the first pass I missed the mocking of “legitimate rape” on the bottom. A double whammy.
Woo_Monster, Sniffer of Starfartssays
Ooops. I stopped reading too soon. On the first pass I missed the mocking of “legitimate rape” on the bottom. A double whammy.
Best snark in that whole poster. Snortle-worthy for sure.
Usernames are smartsays
Not to worry; most people can’t be bothered. The next time you’re on a cruise, watch for the folks to sigh and stamp their feet in frustration at being forced to attend the mustering drill.
They’re also the ones who never follow directions (“bring your lifejackets,” “be quiet and listen to the announcements,” “your station is over there”): those are going to be your secondary flotation devices.
Ditto for those who chatter away during the safety brief before airplane takeoff.
glodsonsays
@ 5
….
Did we look at the same image with the same text? Because I saw one mocking the logic behind the “legitimate rape” ideas, and rape culture in general.
cyberCMDRsays
Actually, when I first started reading it I thought about the HPV vaccine, and the arguments by the religious Reich against inoculating girls at a young age.
cogitosays
@5
Wait, you actually think the poster is about flotation devices, don’t you?
Gregory Greenwoodsays
This is a fantastic snark that hits multiple bases – not only does it tear into rape culture and ideas of what amounts to ‘legitimate rape’ as glodson points out, but it also lops chunks off ‘abstinence only’ sex education and the blather of the anti-choice forced-birthers.
Unfortunately, most true believers among MRAs and forced birthers wouldn’t even notice the parralels (or would rage at the very idea, spouting threats of rape and/or violence if MRAs, and hellfire and damnation – and possibly murder – if forced birthers), while libertarians would probably nod along sagely with the bit about drowning people having gotten themselves into the situation – why should the hard earned tax dollars of glibertarians be spent on lung-sluts who insist on flaunting their tempting alveoli to every passing body of water…?
Still, it is a masterful bit of lampooning that those of us whose minds aren’t poisoned by some combination of religion, misogyny and doodly privilege can appreciate.
Not to forget that learning to swim is Satan’s Way.
No, you should remain pure of water, until you enter the state of holy watrimony and jump to your joint watery grave.
JAL: Snark, Sarcasm & Bitternesssays
Is this why the religious bless water – so it doesn’t drown you?
John Krugersays
Because CPR would be flouting gawd’s will. Just ask the snake handlers.
Alverantsays
@9
Another potential complaint I see is how it compares drowning to being pregnant and/or how pregnancy is to be avoided because it’s bad.
brucemartinsays
The ad ends by noting: “If it was a legitimate pushing, your body would shut out all the water and survive the drowning.” This method has already been repeatedly tested, in the medieval search for witches.
If this logic is true, then there ARE witches.
Sastrasays
I’ve used the analogy of letting kids know where the fire extinguisher is.
Abstinence Only Sex Education works beautifully if you don’t really care if the teenage pregnancy rate goes up or down — but you do care very much that teenagers be told to do what is right. The ends is a virtuous child, not improved statistics. One young couple who decides to wait until marriage outweighs a 500% increase in teen pregnancy. Abstinence Education works because abstinence works. Those who choose to reject it get what they deserve.
This comes out of the same mindset which thinks that a salvation plan which saves 1% of all the humans who have ever lived from eternal damnation is both 1.) reason enough for God to create the universe, create human beings, and ‘allow’ sin and 2.) GOOD NEWS!!!!11!!1!
And we better not allow any government money go to swimming lessons either!! Parents should teach their own kids when the time is right! In fact, we should pull funding from any institutions that offer swimming lessons or water safety, just to make the point clear.
Do the Faithful teach young people to abstain from being bullies? Not in Jessica Alquist’s case, and I’d bet the Steubenville punks and many cyber-haters go to church.
Uncle Ebeneezersays
I’m sure plenty of conservatives secretly enjoy water sports. Yup, I went there.
ChasCPetersonsays
Abstinence-only sex education? Where do you get that? (ah, the word “abstinence,” of course.)
But come on, that’s not the point.
Surely*, the point of the metaphor is that carrying a pregnancy to term and giving birth is like drowning…and that…therefore…abortion is like a life jacket. Right?
I dunno.
To me, it’s a pretty fucked-up and pretty much backwards metaphor.
let’s watch as your mileage varies:
* ≠ ‘Shirley’
Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :)says
Surely*, the point of the metaphor is that carrying an unwanted pregnancy to term and giving birth is like drowning…and that…therefore…abortion is like a life jacket. Right?
FIFY.
To me, it’s a pretty fucked-up and pretty much backwards metaphor.
davidgentile
Mostly no, AFAICT. Such as there is is pretty much limited to “don’t start shit in public with other members of your ingroup.”
Tethyssays
Surely*, the point of the metaphor is that carrying an unwanted pregnancy to term and giving birth is like drowning…and that…therefore…abortion birth control is like a life jacket. Right?
burgundysays
@ Chas: I don’t read it as an analogy. In threads about rape, I’ve often seen people saying something along the lines of “if someone stole my wallet, the police wouldn’t suggest that maybe I gave him my money voluntarily and I wasn’t actually robbed.” That’s not equating rape to robbery; it’s showing how the logic used in one situation would be considered ridiculous if used elsewhere.
There are people who say women shouldn’t be able to get abortions because they chose to have sex and now they must face the consequences of their actions. That line of reasoning is obviously ridiculous in other situations (another might be “you chose to drive a car, so you shouldn’t get any medical attention if you crash”.) That doesn’t mean pregnancy feels like drowning or crashing your car (well, it does for a lot of people, but I don’t think that was the intended message.)
Surely*, the point of the metaphor is that carrying a pregnancy to term and giving birth is like drowning…and that…therefore…abortion is like a life jacket. Right?
While this reads like deliberate obtuseness, that’s actually quite accurate in cases of ectopic pregnancy, and still fairly solid when if the pregnant woman lacks the resources to care for a child (even with adoption after birth carrying a pregnancy to term while in school or in a professional environment can be a serious detriment to one’s well-being; I’ve seen it happen).
carliesays
Surely*, the point of the metaphor is that carrying a pregnancy to term and giving birth is like drowning…and that…therefore…abortion is like a life jacket. Right?
Contraception by any means (including abortion) is the life jacket. Don’t forget that it’s not just abortion – they’re fighting access to contraceptives, too.
burgundysays
Or, to put it another way: an analogy points out the equivalence of the relationships between ideas, not the equivalence between specific items in the analogy.
lamangasays
So brilliant was this advert I had to read it many times.
Given the seriousness of abortion and women’s rights (something that is no laughing matter), I feel awkward laughing at this poster, but it is nonetheless funny.
cksays
I feel awkward laughing at this poster
I don’t know why you should feel awkward. Laughing at it was the point of its creation, and by laughing at it, you’re also laughing at the ridiculous things this poster is mocking. Never underestimate the power of mocking and laughter. Nothing delegitimatizes an idea quicker, or more effectively.
microraptorsays
I actually thought it was making fun of anti-gun control legislation groups until I got to the total abstinence from going into the water part.
But come on, that’s not the point.
Surely*, the point of the metaphor is that carrying a pregnancy to term and giving birth is like drowning…and that…therefore…abortion is like a life jacket. Right?
I see the ad as poking fun at multiple arguments the Religious Right has given with regard to abstinence, pregnancy, and rape. Abortion *is* like a life jacket in the second component of the ad.
I don’t know why you should feel awkward. Laughing at it was the point of its creation, and by laughing at it, you’re also laughing at the ridiculous things this poster is mocking.
I think I see that now. Initially I read the poster one way. Then I read Chas’ comment and waffled between disagreeing and agreeing with him (seriously, I spent a little while going back and forth). I don’t know if there was some haze going on in my head, but it took a little while for me to break things down to the point where I realize that you’re right. My initial unease was because I was looking at things wrong.
microraptor:
I’d be curious to know why you thought the ad was mocking the anti-gun control crowd (I say this as someone who took a little while to comprehend the ad, not trying to be critical of you). The opening part of the ad doesn’t match up with arguments against gun control.
What argument against gun control would gun nuts use that involves the banning of guns?
unclefrogysays
I thought a live preserver was a condom and being rescued from drowning was an abortion.(possibly disease protection and medical care)
but in a very general way it is really mocking the general imprudent and irrational thinking of “the conservative mind” to fail to accept the real world as it is and not how they want it. Not using a life jacket is taking a chance as is ignoring any climate change and not doing anything is in the same. gambling with major negative outcomes and not being prudent.
They that prefer live in their heads and will still die the the real world.
uncle frogy
roro80says
Next poster in development shows a conceptualization of your purity from the evils of swimming pools as a rose having its petals peeled off, or a piece of tape being stuck to things over and over while losing its stickiness. Do not soil yourself by allowing yourself to learn to swim! If you do, your future husband won’t even want to ask you swimming.
Heaven forbid you should actually know what you’re doing in the pool when you meet someone who wants to swim with you forever…
DLCsays
Does nobody have any sympathy for the poor, lonely water ?
I mean, can’t you just tell that that lake is asking for it ?
Go on, Jump in!
but remember to wear a life jacket.
microraptorsays
@Tony!
Mostly it was a case of having seen so many pro-gun arguments about how gun control won’t prevent 100% of all shootings recently and thereby jumping to a parallel between that and life jackets not preventing all drownings. So basically it indicates more about me than it does about the poster.
cksays
I actually thought it was making fun of anti-gun control legislation groups until I got to the total abstinence from going into the water part.
It is amazing how often the arguments against the things they hate match.
Your mention of this made me think of a different version of the last line of the poster:
Also, if you were forcibly shot by a gun, don’t worry. If it wasn’t a legitimate shooting, your body will find a way to repel the bullet and survive the shooting.
I feel it is only a matter of time before someone says something like this with a straight face.
thumper1990says
*chuckle* Brilliant. Shared.
I wonder if the Repubs will try and defund swimming lessons now?
Don’t forget that if you yell for a lifeguard, then someone needs to hold the lifeguard back, and say “just take responsibility for your choice to go swimming.”
Because “responsibility” is code for “the choices that I make for you”. It means that sex is a crime and pregnancy is the punishment. No discussion about the freedom to make your own choices is complete without misuse of the word “responsibility”.
frogsays
The problem is that most fungadelicals don’t understand figurative language–years of trying to interpret their book literally has destroyed any ability to understand parallels and analogy. They would look at this and completely miss the point.
I have seen even reasonably intelligent atheists on various threads at FTB completely misunderstand sarcasm and irony on occasion. What chance does someone stand when their brain has been stunted by their religion?
Nice touch using a cute little boy, too– we wouldn’t want to CORRUPT him by allowing him to engage in the SIN of WATER SAFETY, now would we?
Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaidensays
No, no, no, Audley.
Yes, we want to prevent water safety, but that’s not the truly corrupting thing. We ban water safety because
we don’t want the little white boy to be corrupted by the temptation of water sports!
…and, I’m out.
cm's changeable moniker (quaint, if not charming)says
Delft @#10:
you should remain pure of water, until you enter the state of holy watrimony
Win!
randaysays
What are you people thinking? Jesus didn’t need a life-jacket. Just do like him and walk on water. It seems that Jesus only once got into water when he was baptized. Other than that there is no mention of him even bathing. I guess his smell was heavenly.
Drowning is the gift produced by the holy union of liquid and one’s respiratory system.
That’s a great poster. Same “logic” the abstinence only birth control folk use. I really enjoy it when people make a poster like that reflects the “daft” back on the brainless twits who want to keep their children ignorant.
Ooops. I stopped reading too soon. On the first pass I missed the mocking of “legitimate rape” on the bottom. A double whammy.
Best snark in that whole poster. Snortle-worthy for sure.
Not to worry; most people can’t be bothered. The next time you’re on a cruise, watch for the folks to sigh and stamp their feet in frustration at being forced to attend the mustering drill.
They’re also the ones who never follow directions (“bring your lifejackets,” “be quiet and listen to the announcements,” “your station is over there”): those are going to be your secondary flotation devices.
Ditto for those who chatter away during the safety brief before airplane takeoff.
@ 5
….
Did we look at the same image with the same text? Because I saw one mocking the logic behind the “legitimate rape” ideas, and rape culture in general.
Actually, when I first started reading it I thought about the HPV vaccine, and the arguments by the religious Reich against inoculating girls at a young age.
@5
Wait, you actually think the poster is about flotation devices, don’t you?
This is a fantastic snark that hits multiple bases – not only does it tear into rape culture and ideas of what amounts to ‘legitimate rape’ as glodson points out, but it also lops chunks off ‘abstinence only’ sex education and the blather of the anti-choice forced-birthers.
Unfortunately, most true believers among MRAs and forced birthers wouldn’t even notice the parralels (or would rage at the very idea, spouting threats of rape and/or violence if MRAs, and hellfire and damnation – and possibly murder – if forced birthers), while libertarians would probably nod along sagely with the bit about drowning people having gotten themselves into the situation – why should the hard earned tax dollars of glibertarians be spent on lung-sluts who insist on flaunting their tempting alveoli to every passing body of water…?
Still, it is a masterful bit of lampooning that those of us whose minds aren’t poisoned by some combination of religion, misogyny and doodly privilege can appreciate.
Not to forget that learning to swim is Satan’s Way.
No, you should remain pure of water, until you enter the state of holy watrimony and jump to your joint watery grave.
Is this why the religious bless water – so it doesn’t drown you?
Because CPR would be flouting gawd’s will. Just ask the snake handlers.
@9
Another potential complaint I see is how it compares drowning to being pregnant and/or how pregnancy is to be avoided because it’s bad.
The ad ends by noting: “If it was a legitimate pushing, your body would shut out all the water and survive the drowning.” This method has already been repeatedly tested, in the medieval search for witches.
If this logic is true, then there ARE witches.
I’ve used the analogy of letting kids know where the fire extinguisher is.
Abstinence Only Sex Education works beautifully if you don’t really care if the teenage pregnancy rate goes up or down — but you do care very much that teenagers be told to do what is right. The ends is a virtuous child, not improved statistics. One young couple who decides to wait until marriage outweighs a 500% increase in teen pregnancy. Abstinence Education works because abstinence works. Those who choose to reject it get what they deserve.
This comes out of the same mindset which thinks that a salvation plan which saves 1% of all the humans who have ever lived from eternal damnation is both 1.) reason enough for God to create the universe, create human beings, and ‘allow’ sin and 2.) GOOD NEWS!!!!11!!1!
@14,
IIRC the test was that if you drowned you were not a witch, and if you floated, I suppose things would get toasty.
Brilliant.
And we better not allow any government money go to swimming lessons either!! Parents should teach their own kids when the time is right! In fact, we should pull funding from any institutions that offer swimming lessons or water safety, just to make the point clear.
Do the Faithful teach young people to abstain from being bullies? Not in Jessica Alquist’s case, and I’d bet the Steubenville punks and many cyber-haters go to church.
I’m sure plenty of conservatives secretly enjoy water sports. Yup, I went there.
Abstinence-only sex education? Where do you get that? (ah, the word “abstinence,” of course.)
But come on, that’s not the point.
Surely*, the point of the metaphor is that carrying a pregnancy to term and giving birth is like drowning…and that…therefore…abortion is like a life jacket. Right?
I dunno.
To me, it’s a pretty fucked-up and pretty much backwards metaphor.
let’s watch as your mileage varies:
* ≠ ‘Shirley’
FIFY.
Let us know after you’ve tried it.
davidgentile
Mostly no, AFAICT. Such as there is is pretty much limited to “don’t start shit in public with other members of your ingroup.”
Surely*, the point of the metaphor is that carrying an unwanted pregnancy to term and giving birth is like drowning…and that…therefore…
abortionbirth control is like a life jacket. Right?@ Chas: I don’t read it as an analogy. In threads about rape, I’ve often seen people saying something along the lines of “if someone stole my wallet, the police wouldn’t suggest that maybe I gave him my money voluntarily and I wasn’t actually robbed.” That’s not equating rape to robbery; it’s showing how the logic used in one situation would be considered ridiculous if used elsewhere.
There are people who say women shouldn’t be able to get abortions because they chose to have sex and now they must face the consequences of their actions. That line of reasoning is obviously ridiculous in other situations (another might be “you chose to drive a car, so you shouldn’t get any medical attention if you crash”.) That doesn’t mean pregnancy feels like drowning or crashing your car (well, it does for a lot of people, but I don’t think that was the intended message.)
While this reads like deliberate obtuseness, that’s actually quite accurate in cases of ectopic pregnancy, and still fairly solid when if the pregnant woman lacks the resources to care for a child (even with adoption after birth carrying a pregnancy to term while in school or in a professional environment can be a serious detriment to one’s well-being; I’ve seen it happen).
Contraception by any means (including abortion) is the life jacket. Don’t forget that it’s not just abortion – they’re fighting access to contraceptives, too.
Or, to put it another way: an analogy points out the equivalence of the relationships between ideas, not the equivalence between specific items in the analogy.
So brilliant was this advert I had to read it many times.
Given the seriousness of abortion and women’s rights (something that is no laughing matter), I feel awkward laughing at this poster, but it is nonetheless funny.
I don’t know why you should feel awkward. Laughing at it was the point of its creation, and by laughing at it, you’re also laughing at the ridiculous things this poster is mocking. Never underestimate the power of mocking and laughter. Nothing delegitimatizes an idea quicker, or more effectively.
I actually thought it was making fun of anti-gun control legislation groups until I got to the total abstinence from going into the water part.
Chas:
I see the ad as poking fun at multiple arguments the Religious Right has given with regard to abstinence, pregnancy, and rape. Abortion *is* like a life jacket in the second component of the ad.
ck:
I think I see that now. Initially I read the poster one way. Then I read Chas’ comment and waffled between disagreeing and agreeing with him (seriously, I spent a little while going back and forth). I don’t know if there was some haze going on in my head, but it took a little while for me to break things down to the point where I realize that you’re right. My initial unease was because I was looking at things wrong.
microraptor:
I’d be curious to know why you thought the ad was mocking the anti-gun control crowd (I say this as someone who took a little while to comprehend the ad, not trying to be critical of you). The opening part of the ad doesn’t match up with arguments against gun control.
What argument against gun control would gun nuts use that involves the banning of guns?
I thought a live preserver was a condom and being rescued from drowning was an abortion.(possibly disease protection and medical care)
but in a very general way it is really mocking the general imprudent and irrational thinking of “the conservative mind” to fail to accept the real world as it is and not how they want it. Not using a life jacket is taking a chance as is ignoring any climate change and not doing anything is in the same. gambling with major negative outcomes and not being prudent.
They that prefer live in their heads and will still die the the real world.
uncle frogy
Next poster in development shows a conceptualization of your purity from the evils of swimming pools as a rose having its petals peeled off, or a piece of tape being stuck to things over and over while losing its stickiness. Do not soil yourself by allowing yourself to learn to swim! If you do, your future husband won’t even want to ask you swimming.
Heaven forbid you should actually know what you’re doing in the pool when you meet someone who wants to swim with you forever…
Does nobody have any sympathy for the poor, lonely water ?
I mean, can’t you just tell that that lake is asking for it ?
Go on, Jump in!
but remember to wear a life jacket.
@Tony!
Mostly it was a case of having seen so many pro-gun arguments about how gun control won’t prevent 100% of all shootings recently and thereby jumping to a parallel between that and life jackets not preventing all drownings. So basically it indicates more about me than it does about the poster.
It is amazing how often the arguments against the things they hate match.
Your mention of this made me think of a different version of the last line of the poster:
I feel it is only a matter of time before someone says something like this with a straight face.
*chuckle* Brilliant. Shared.
I wonder if the Repubs will try and defund swimming lessons now?
Don’t forget that if you yell for a lifeguard, then someone needs to hold the lifeguard back, and say “just take responsibility for your choice to go swimming.”
Because “responsibility” is code for “the choices that I make for you”. It means that sex is a crime and pregnancy is the punishment. No discussion about the freedom to make your own choices is complete without misuse of the word “responsibility”.
The problem is that most fungadelicals don’t understand figurative language–years of trying to interpret their book literally has destroyed any ability to understand parallels and analogy. They would look at this and completely miss the point.
I have seen even reasonably intelligent atheists on various threads at FTB completely misunderstand sarcasm and irony on occasion. What chance does someone stand when their brain has been stunted by their religion?
Nice touch using a cute little boy, too– we wouldn’t want to CORRUPT him by allowing him to engage in the SIN of WATER SAFETY, now would we?
No, no, no, Audley.
Yes, we want to prevent water safety, but that’s not the truly corrupting thing. We ban water safety because
we don’t want the little white boy to be corrupted by the temptation of water sports!
…and, I’m out.
Delft @#10:
Win!
What are you people thinking? Jesus didn’t need a life-jacket. Just do like him and walk on water. It seems that Jesus only once got into water when he was baptized. Other than that there is no mention of him even bathing. I guess his smell was heavenly.
Jesus washed his feet.
And other people’s feet.