It was a real stem-winder. Finally, a liberal democrat uncloaked himself and spoke the truth.
Slamming his fists on the lectern until his hands began to bleed, Obama proceeded to lay out a “three-point plan of sin and lechery” for his second term. If reelected, the president said, he would begin by banning organized religion entirely—starting with Christianity—and burning all churches to the ground, preferably “with their wretched, Jesus-loving congregants still huddled inside like rats.”
As members of the audience violently tugged at their genitals and howled like sex-starved, atheist wolves, Obama stated that his administration would then seek to make free, taxpayer-funded abortions legal at any stage of pregnancy, even up to one full year after birth, in order to supply his newly created “federal stem-cell harvesting plants” with raw materials.
Oh. Wait. Sorry. Wrong text. That was the secret speech he gave at the Godless Cabal. Here’s the one he gave at the DNC. It was a bit more conciliatory, but it wasn’t bad.