May 06 2012

Wow, now I wish I had a vagina!

Categories:

Equality, Humor, Politics

by PZ Myers

Just so I could keep Republicans in it!

Republicans, Get In My Vagina! from Kate Beckinsale

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68 comments

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1

reasonbeing

6 May 2012 at 3:41 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

That is a funny video. It does a great job highlighting how moronic the Republican positions are. It also does a great job of furthering the idea that the “war on women” is not some myth created by the left. Kudos to Beckinsdale for doing that.
2

dougittner

6 May 2012 at 3:55 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

If a Republican is going to get in a woman’s vagina shouldn’t he marry her first? The entire GOP is going to hell for adultery.
3

No One

6 May 2012 at 4:29 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Question:

Did State Rep. Richard Freind really say the rape secretion thing?
4

dianne

6 May 2012 at 4:29 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

I don’t think you do, really. Keeping a Republican in your vagina isn’t really very comfortable. Just be glad they haven’t decided to crawl up your prostate yet.
5

consciousness razor

6 May 2012 at 4:38 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

I don’t think you do, really. Keeping a Republican in your vagina isn’t really very comfortable. Just be glad they haven’t decided to crawl up your prostate yet.

There has to be some safe way to contain them. What about those little boxes the ghostbusters use?
6

David Marjanović

6 May 2012 at 4:40 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

The sound the government makes when it goes up the… X-D

Has State Rep. Freind resigned amid all the media laughing at him yet? Hm? Hmmmmmm?
7

alexshuffell

6 May 2012 at 4:47 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

I’m jut an innocent English boy but that video was confusing. So many questions. Why? What’s happening? Are they taking the piss out of someone? Was this for or against Republicans? Is it wrong I find Judy Greer very attractive? What’s a vagina and do I have one? There’s the two on the outside and the two on the inside, should I have more? I’m heading over to Brian Switek and Laelaps, vaginas have confused me too much, I need some dinosaurs.
8

'Tis Himself

6 May 2012 at 4:52 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

No One #3

Did State Rep. Richard Freind really say the rape secretion thing?

It’s Stephen Freind and the Philadelphia Inquirer says he said it:

The odds that a woman who is raped will get pregnant are “one in millions and millions and millions,” said state Rep. Stephen Freind, R-Delaware County, the Legislature’s leading abortion foe.

The reason, Freind said, is that the traumatic experience of rape causes a woman to “secrete a certain secretion” that tends to kill sperm.

It took less than three minutes with google to find the answer.
9

Brownian

6 May 2012 at 5:09 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

There has to be some safe way to contain them. What about those little boxes the ghostbusters use?

Hoist with our own EPA.
10

Charlie Foxtrot

6 May 2012 at 5:49 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Heh – that’s great! How awesome would it be if that got some primetime ad-space :)

Really, the mocking of the republicans policies needs to be merciless.
11

Terska

6 May 2012 at 5:57 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

My son tells me the local Barnes and Noble keeps Darwin on the religion and mythology shelves.
Is this typical elsewhere?
12

No One

6 May 2012 at 5:58 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

‘Tis Himself says:
6 May 2012 at 4:52 pm

No One #3

It took less than three minutes with google to find the answer.

I have no idea why I typed “Richard” into the google search field, except that I’m getting older and it’s catching up with me.
13

autumn

6 May 2012 at 6:08 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

I must be doing it wrong. I haven’t got a vagina, but every day something indistinguishable from a republican comes out of my ass.
14

razzlefrog

6 May 2012 at 6:12 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

“Why, I’ll be damned – I don’t have nearly enough Republicans in my vagina!” <—– I was thinking that just the other day.
15

robro

6 May 2012 at 6:15 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

consciousness razor — “There has to be some safe way to contain them.” Condoms? I mean, they [Republicans] are a bunch of dicks.
16

kantalope

6 May 2012 at 6:24 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

I would kind of think that the campaign should go the other way:

Republicans: no Vaginas for you….until you stop acting like a bunch of dicks.
17

Azkyroth, Former Growing Toaster Oven

6 May 2012 at 6:28 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Right, because reinforcing the sense that sex is something women give to men as a reward is going to do sooooo much for gender equality.
18

carlie

6 May 2012 at 6:36 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

The odds that a woman who is raped will get pregnant are “one in millions and millions and millions,” said state Rep. Stephen Freind, R-Delaware County, the Legislature’s leading abortion foe.

There are an estimated thirty-two thousand pregnancies following rape in the US per year. Does that mean that he thinks that there are at least 32 million rapes per year, and wouldn’t that mean that he thinks that rape is a pretty big deal? Can’t wait to see him shoring up rape victim support services and advocating for more anti-rape training for men and harsher punishments and actual investigations of rape and such.
19

andyo

6 May 2012 at 7:03 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

There are an estimated thirty-two thousand pregnancies following rape in the US per year. Does that mean that he thinks that there are at least 32 million rapes per year, and wouldn’t that mean that he thinks that rape is a pretty big deal?

You’re taking it the wrong way. Those weren’t rapes, because the women must secretly have enjoyed it. They just wanted money and/or take angry revenge against a guy who wouldn’t go out with them a second time.
20

Aliasalpha

6 May 2012 at 7:04 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Does that mean that he thinks that there are at least 32 million rapes per year, and wouldn’t that mean that he thinks that rape is a pretty big deal?

Surely he’d draw the conclusion that that many rapes would make it an everyday part of life and therefore nothing to be bothered about
21

Ichthyic

6 May 2012 at 7:07 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

from Carlie’s link:

The national rape-related pregnancy rate is 5.0% per rape among victims of reproductive age (aged 12 to 45); among adult women an estimated 32,101 pregnancies result from rape each year. Among 34 cases of rape-related pregnancy, the majority occurred among adolescents and resulted from assault by a known, often related perpetrator. Only 11.7% of these victims received immediate medical attention after the assault, and 47.1% received no medical attention related to the rape. A total 32.4% of these victims did not discover they were pregnant until they had already entered the second trimester; 32.2% opted to keep the infant whereas 50% underwent abortion and 5.9% placed the infant for adoption; an additional 11.8% had spontaneous abortion.

those… are some very depressing numbers.

makes me want to wrap them in a lead pipe and beat people like Santorum over the head with it.
22

Ichthyic

6 May 2012 at 7:10 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

… so, there are estimated to be around 650,000 rapes per year in the US, reverse engineering from pregnancy rates?

yikes.

of course that’s only based on that sample, and of reported rapes…

is it fair to say double that number actually occur, or more?
23

chuckonpiggott

6 May 2012 at 7:28 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

@alexshuffell:

No, it is not wrong that you find Judy Greer very attractive.
Not at all.
24

Gregory Greenwood

6 May 2012 at 7:47 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

“The odds that a woman who is raped will get pregnant are “one in millions and millions and millions,” said state Rep. Stephen Freind, R-Delaware County, the Legislature’s leading abortion foe.”

The reason, Freind said, is that the traumatic experience of rape causes a woman to “secrete a certain secretion” that tends to kill sperm.

Words fail me. The denial of reality is bad enough even without the extra strength misogyny that manages to minimise the horror of rape (because there can be no kids, so it doesn’t really count, dontcha know) while simultaneously insinuating that those women who do fall poregnant after a rape must have “wanted it really” – playing into the meme that massively over emphasises the idea of the woman who gets cold feet after the fact or is seeking revenge through a false rape allegation in order to discredit all rape survivors.

This Freind cretin is a waste of good oxygen – how in the fictional hell trope does a creature like that even get elected?
25

dianne

6 May 2012 at 7:49 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

There are an estimated thirty-two thousand pregnancies following rape in the US per year. Does that mean that he thinks that there are at least 32 million rapes per year,

I think there’s an order of magnitude error in your statement: If pregnancy from rape is 1 in a million (much less “millions and millions”) and there are 32,000 pregnancies following rape, there must be several billions or tens of billions of rapes per year in the US.

I suspect that Freind would justify his statement by saying that almost all the rapes that produce pregnancies weren’t “really” rape, just sex regretted the day after or something.
26

dianne

6 May 2012 at 7:52 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

how in the fictional hell trope does a creature like that even get elected?

The suburbs of Philadelphia are not pretty places.
27

irisvanderpluym

6 May 2012 at 7:53 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

I got sick of Republicans in my vagina a LOOOONG time ago. They were, without exception, lousy lovers.

It would have been fun to have a patronizing helmet-haired d00d in the video explaining how happy and relieved he is to have a bunch of Republicans in his wife’s vagina — with bonus points for flashing pictures of Catholic Bishops in pointy hats while he said it.

@kantalope 16: you mean you weren’t aware of the sex strike? Either you don’t have sex often enough to notice a strike, or, well, it just didn’t get any traction. ;)
28

irisvanderpluym

6 May 2012 at 7:56 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

@dianne

The suburbs of Philadelphia are not pretty places.

Ain’t that the truth. This is the state that sent Rick Santorum to the United States Senate. I ran screaming to NYC almost 20 years ago, and never looked back.
29

christophburschka

6 May 2012 at 7:57 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

“secrete a certain secretion”

I’ve never ever heard of that. I guess it must be a secretly secreted secretion.
30

irisvanderpluym

6 May 2012 at 7:59 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Shhhhh! It’s a secret…hel-LO?
31

ludicrous

6 May 2012 at 8:17 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

When it comes to sticking their noses where they are not wanted, what’s the difference between a dog and a republican?

Dogs don’t run for office.
32

thewhollynone

6 May 2012 at 8:26 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

We need a test for prospective appointees and candidates for government office, a No Representative Left Behind test, to assure that such persons have at least the IQ of a twelve year old and the basic scientific knowledge of a high school graduate. I will be happy to organize test preparation services for a fee. (That should create tons of jobs.)
33

kevinalexander

6 May 2012 at 8:41 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

But the Republicans are for small government so how could a small government be such an inconvenience in your vagina?

It’s not like you’re using it for anything else.
34

shouldbeworking

6 May 2012 at 8:43 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Some rethuglican would compain that the knowledge exam is unconstitutional on the grounds that is is a religious test for office and everyone knows that science is a religion.
35

boskerbonzer

6 May 2012 at 9:36 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

I bet Ann Coulter doesn’t use hers much; maybe she’ll let you borrow it.
36

Martin Wagner

6 May 2012 at 9:44 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Ann Coulter has a vagina?
37

Happiestsadist

6 May 2012 at 9:54 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Way to be a transphobic shitbasket, Martin Wagner.
38

Akira MacKenzie

6 May 2012 at 10:34 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

@Happiestsadist:

Now, now, Martin Wagner may have quipped that Ms. Coulter (Where’s her evil golden monkey daemon?) had no vagina, but he didn’t say she had a penis. She always looked like an animated Barbie doll to me and we all know how anatomically accurate they are.
39

Happiestsadist

6 May 2012 at 10:37 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Or there’s a long, long history of transphobic “jokes” lobbed at that vile woman, and I’m guessing the more common one is more likely.
40

Circe

6 May 2012 at 10:39 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

This article at McSweeney’s Internet Tendency humor blog has a very similar drift..
41

Lofty

6 May 2012 at 10:46 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Dogs don’t run for office.

Betcha they run for orifices though…
42

chigau (副)

6 May 2012 at 10:49 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

My first thought re: Coulter was “Barbie Doll”.
43

Akira MacKenzie

6 May 2012 at 10:49 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

@Happiestsadist

Or there’s a long, long history of transphobic “jokes” lobbed at that vile woman…

I’ll take your work for it. Speaking for myself, I have my doubts whether or not Coulter counts as “human,” much less a “woman.” Something about that gaunt visage and spindly figure just screams LICHE at me.
44

Happiestsadist

6 May 2012 at 11:14 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

You know, Akira, there’s plenty of shit you can say about her (the being pro-genocide, the misogyny, the homophobia, etc.) without just hassling her appearance. Because that’s just kinda sexist bullshit. She’s a truly monstrous personality.
45

dexitroboper

6 May 2012 at 11:23 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Wow, now I wish I had a vagina!

As an Evil™ biologist you must be able to invaginate something?
46

chigau (副)

6 May 2012 at 11:50 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

OK
No one wants to hear this but it’s too good not to share…
I’m Pharyngulating and drinking
I just had a half-doze-dream where Ann Coulter and the Shroud of Turin where superimposed. It worked.
(I am way too suggestible.)
47

Zeno

7 May 2012 at 12:50 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

I wish I had a vagina!

You’re missing something very obvious, PZ. In the view of the GOP patriarchy, all married men have a vagina. Their wives are, after all, their possessions, so they have ownership of all those female parts. Like God intended and everything.
48

llewelly

7 May 2012 at 1:11 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

chigau (副)
6 May 2012 at 11:50 pm :

I just had a half-doze-dream where Ann Coulter and the Shroud of Turin where superimposed.

Most bizarre Escher Girls entry ever.
49

llewelly

7 May 2012 at 1:17 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Coulter: I don’t care for her awful ideologies, or her shameless robbing of the hard right plebes, but you can count on her to smoke out the transphobics in any group.
50

great1american1satan

7 May 2012 at 2:01 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Pharyngulites, I have uncovered a source of ignorance most profound and annoying! Somebody has to give this guy a verbal smackdown. Or a few thousand somebodies. There’s a few sensible comments here already: http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/the-selfish-gene-goes-to-war/Content?oid=13524405 from some guy called “HollowMan,” but my rage hasn’t been blunted yet.

I don’t even like Dawkins, and I do like commie-ism, so when a fellow commie reiterates that most pathetic misunderstanding of the title of Dawkins’ book, I wanna drop mental bombs.

Plus the idiocy of this closing sentiment: ” Much needed today is a theory of sociality that does not predictably draw all of its answers from the old box of ‘nature, red in tooth and claw.’”

Hey Chuck, reality isn’t going to bend to your desires. Wasps are gonna lay eggs in living tarantulas, who will be devoured from the inside. Male polar bears will eat errant polar bear cubs. You can believe in and promote goodness without using happy falsehoods to do so, ASSHAT.

-
51

Josh, Official SpokesGay

7 May 2012 at 2:15 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Oh, Martin?

As a huge, big ‘ol fan of TAE and you in particular (your writing style gives me orthographic tingles)—go fuck yourself. Shut your goddamned piehole if you can’t figure out how to insult Ann Coulter without throwing transgendered folks under the bus. They’re not just “those ha-ha butt-of-jokes,” they’re real people. Folks who read FtB, and likely people you love.

You asshole.
52

Josh, Official SpokesGay

7 May 2012 at 2:24 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Now, now, Martin Wagner may have quipped that Ms. Coulter (Where’s her evil golden monkey daemon?) had no vagina, but he didn’t say she had a penis

And you can shut your fucking mouth, too, Akira. Not. Funny. Not acceptable.

Jesus Christ. . . this transphobic shit is still going on here on Pharyngula?
53

Azuma Hazuki

7 May 2012 at 2:38 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

See, this was their endgame all along: to shrink government to the point where it could fit in our vaginas!

Sorry, Republicans, but if i wanted something in there i’d just reach into the sock drawer.
54

NelC

7 May 2012 at 3:45 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Ichthyic @22: And that’s just the number of confirmed rape-caused pregnancies, I imagine. There must be a significant proportion of raped women in relationships who assume/hope the pregnancy was caused by their partner.

As to the numbers, when you consider that the lifetime chance for women to be raped is about one in three, I think that looks to be about the right magnitude.
55

Agent Silversmith, Post Palladium Isotope

7 May 2012 at 3:45 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

For their part, the Republicans have never figured out that the vagina is not bible shaped.
56

jonnyscaramanga

7 May 2012 at 4:52 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

If Kate Beckinsale wants Republicans in her vagina, then I’m definitely a Republican.
57

carlie

7 May 2012 at 5:01 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

I think there’s an order of magnitude error in your statement: If pregnancy from rape is 1 in a million (much less “millions and millions”) and there are 32,000 pregnancies following rape, there must be several billions or tens of billions of rapes per year in the US.

Oh yes, I was way off. Three orders of magnitude, in fact. So it’s kind of like reverse homeopathy; the number of rapes is greater than even the total number of possible encounters in the US, according to his numbers.
58

birgerjohansson

7 May 2012 at 5:53 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Married Republicans have a vagina…like those deep-sea angler fish, but in reverse? U-uuulp.
— — — — — — —
I don’t care what anatomy Ann Coulter has.
I always assumed she was one of those creepy Weyland Industry androids (that gave Ripley so much trouble in “Alien”).
— — — — — — — —
BTW can a vagina work like a digestive tract in the manner of some plant insect traps? That way those Rebublicans can at least be put to practical use.
If they complain, the answer is “the victim is to blame”
59

Akira MacKenzie

7 May 2012 at 6:09 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

@Josh.

It was not my intention to be transphobic, merely anti-conservative. However, If that is how I came off, I sincerely apologize.
60

phoenicianromans

7 May 2012 at 6:29 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

I think there’s an order of magnitude error in your statement: If pregnancy from rape is 1 in a million (much less “millions and millions”) and there are 32,000 pregnancies following rape, there must be several billions or tens of billions of rapes per year in the US.

Let’s see – that’s around 240 rapes per woman annually at the “1 in a million” rate – and proportionately more for “millions and millions”.

Do you think he may have been thinking about, you know, ducks instead of human beings?
61

birgerjohansson

7 May 2012 at 7:03 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Anglerfish, see “reproduction” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angler_fish

Could Republicans be “incorporated” in the same way?
62

donmitchell

7 May 2012 at 8:32 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

yes, no one the news site Philadelphia Inquirer, 1988:
http://articles.philly.com/1988-03-23/news/26277205_1_freind-woman-secretes-luigi-mastroianni

so weird that people just repeat what they hear.
I’m convinced we get virus of the mind by just listening to others without checking out what they say and then repeating it. I think we call the virus rumors, hehe.
63

dianne

7 May 2012 at 8:40 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Do you think he may have been thinking about, you know, ducks instead of human beings?

I think “think” is far too strong a word to apply to Freind.
64

Markita Lynda—damn climate change!

7 May 2012 at 11:17 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Chances are probably 5% to 8%. Chances of sexually transmitted disease, 5% – 10%.
65

Ms. Daisy Cutter, Gynofascist in a Spiffy Hugo Boss Uniform

7 May 2012 at 11:49 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

BoskerBonzer, Martin Wagner, and Akira MacKenzie: What the fuck is wrong with you all? Not just the transphobia, but the idea that it’s okay to mock the appearances of people you disagree with, especially women.

Especially you, Akira, who makes a hobby of whining on this blog how nobody likes you because you’re “fat and ugly,” in between creepy and offensive remarks. No, asshole, nobody likes you because you’re a douchebag.

BTW, “It was not my intention” and “If that is how I came off” are weaselly qualifiers, so shove your fauxpology up your ass.

NelC:

There must be a significant proportion of raped women in relationships who assume/hope the pregnancy was caused by their partner.

Uh, you do realize that rape happens in relationships, right? And that abusive men frequently try to impregnate their partners against the latter’s will, via rape and/or contraceptive sabotage, to keep them from leaving?
66

Dr. Audley Z. Darkheart, liar and scoundrel

7 May 2012 at 12:41 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Wow, now I wish I had vagina! Just so I could keep Republicans in it!

Here, I’ll donate mine. Hell, you’re welcome to have the whole shebang-a-bang. It’s getting crowded up in there.

Also: Fuck Republicans.
67

LykeX

7 May 2012 at 1:34 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Knowing a bit about Martin, I’d be surprised if he really was transphobic. More likely, it was an off-hand remark.

However, that doesn’t change the problematic nature of it. Remarks like that, even if not intended as hurtful and transphobic, create an unpleasant atmosphere and provide cover for transphobes. The problems don’t disappear just because they weren’t intended.
It’s still trans people who end up having to deal with this crap and it should come as no surprise that they already have plenty of crap on their plate. We ought to be the kind of community where trans people can come and relax without having to listen to such jabs, intended or not. Long way to go, I know, but we won’t move forward by not trying.

Martin, I hope you will be more careful in the future. It’s not just about intention, but also very much about how you translate that intention into action. Unintended hurt still hurts.
68

Akira MacKenzie

7 May 2012 at 3:01 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

@Ms Daisy Cutter:

I did apologize for my comments. What more do want?

Furthermore, your personal attacks on me, even after I promised to no longer bring up my personal problems on Pharyngula, are getting really, really boring.

Cut it the fuck out.

Now.