Apr 04 2012

Oh, no, the hipsters shall be even more insufferable!

I rather like the idea of this next generation of networking technology, Google's Goggles of the Future, but why did they have to cast this video with a couple of extras from Portlandia?

Give me a better demo. Let’s see people using them for something other than showing off their amateur ukulele playing, ’cause that crap will just scare me away. I’m in Minnesota. I’d have nightmares about my glasses going bleep-bloop, and then someone starts broadcasting their accordion practice at me.


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  1. 1
    Woo_Monster, Sniffer of Starfarts

    I would dish out some cash for those. But, if I see one motherfucking advertisement displayed on that screen, wasting my valuable vision-space, I will be super pissed.

  2. 2
    Woo_Monster, Sniffer of Starfarts

    Also, first-person angry birds is going to rule.

  3. 3
    Anthony K

    I just paid a lot of money for a doctor to zap my corneas with lasers so I’d never again have to deal with specks and dust and drops and greasy fingerprints hovering in front of my eyes. Thanks, Google!

    Perhaps next you’d like to come up with a way for me to keep connected with my social circle all the fucking time via flash drives embedded in itchy knots of toilet paper stuck to my ass hair.

  4. 4
    PZ Myers

    Brownian Vision! I’m taking out a patent before anyone else does.

  5. 5
    Woo_Monster, Sniffer of Starfarts

    Perhaps next you’d like to come up with a way for me to keep connected with my social circle all the fucking time via flash drives embedded in itchy knots of toilet paper stuck to my ass hair.

    That won’t happen till…. THE SINGULARITY.

  6. 6
    Anthony K

    Brownian Vision! I’m taking out a patent before anyone else does.

    This is why I’m not rich.

  7. 7
    Anthony K

    That won’t happen till…. THE SINGULARITY.

    Then I’m calling that aspect of it the STARFISHLARITY. Until Kurzweil’s AI becomes sentient and sews my mouth shut in hopes I become a much more productive silicon miner.

    Stupid AI.

  8. 8
    Woo_Monster, Sniffer of Starfarts

    Brownian Vision! I’m taking out a patent before anyone else does.

    Patent it all you want, I got dibs on the trademark. Brownian Vision. Has a good ring to it.

    Brownian, lets talk royalties.

  9. 9

    Oh, you’re going to be in big trouble in Melbourne then. Hipster capital of Australia.

  10. 10
    Anthony K


  11. 11
    Anthony K

    Brownian, lets talk royalties.

    Enough coke to do me in before Kurzweil’s AI and its infamous silicon mines.

  12. 12
    Woo_Monster, Sniffer of Starfarts

    Well, I was thinking more a percentage of the profits I will actualize…
    Lets hope Brownian Vision (I don’t know how to do that small script ‘TM’ thingy, but imagine it is here) really takes off.

  13. 13

    Citation for above comment:

  14. 14
    Anthony K

    Oh, and we shouldn’t call them ‘hipsters’ any more because they might be individuals who just really like fixies or something.

  15. 15

    Eh, I’d be more interested in cyberware a la Manfred Macx’s specs.

  16. 16

    Apologies, I should have previewed that.

    Citation for above comment:

    The bedroom philosopher

  17. 17

    Is the guy he meets up with wearing the goggles? They look like regular glasses. I’m envisioning something more Elton John-ish. I mean, you don’t actually see what the guy looks like wearing the goggles, do you?
    Also, I haven’t been able to read anything closer than the next zip code over for about the last ten years. Not sure how this’ll work.
    “What? Blur needs to talk to me?”
    Killed By Fish

  18. 18

    Wow. Reminded me of this story I listened to on Norm Sherman’s consistently great Drabblecast (episode 220), about a girl who dares to take OFF such glasses. The text version of the story is here: http://www.flashfictiononline.com/f20100901-tags-andrew-gudgel.html.

  19. 19

    So, if we outlawed accordions, would you be down with it then, PZ?

    I’d be OK with that.

    My dad plays accordion. I haven’t had accordion nightmares in years. Thanks for reminding me.

  20. 20

    Jeebus, do we really need more of this?

  21. 21
    consciousness razor

    They didn’t show the hipster dude’s face because he looks like this.

  22. 22
    Arwen Leigh

    This really reminds me of the novel Feed by M.T. Anderson. Reality is getting to resemble that book so much I’m not even sure it can be considered satire anymore.

  23. 23

    Any time someone demonstrates an augmented-reality device, they always go to a bookstore. Is it some kind of pilgrimage to acknowledge the original augmented-reality device?

    Anyway, even though I don’t care a whit for the majority of professional sports, I’d love to see a product like this demonstrated with some NFL superfan watching his team play while Project Glass projects stats on the players who run by, updating his fantasy football pool at the same time. Just so a wider demographic can see how cool this could be for them as well.

    But I guess hipsters and tech geeks are the likely early adopters, so you want them on board first.

  24. 24

    Pictures of their concept designs, with people actually wearing them.


  25. 25

    Eeew! Hipsters! Soulless creatures of the underworld!

  26. 26

    They forgot to show the screeching of tires and falling down into the subway because you’re not paying attention to what you’re doing. It’s bad enough that once a week I start talking to someone who I realize is completely disengaged from reality with their hidden little earbud. I told you damned kids to get off my lawn already.

  27. 27
    Tigger_the_Wing, Back home =^_^=

    OK, so I have had mobile phones since they were the size of trailers, over 22 years now; I shall probably (reluctantly) soon (when my ailing dumbphone finally gives up the ghost) give in to the pressure from friends and family to get a smartphone; I spend quite a lot of my time on the internet on my MacBook but Google’s Goggles are a step waaaaay too far for me.

    I hope they don’t get them into circulation before the technology exists to prevent them being used near roads and other busy places.

  28. 28
    theophontes (恶六六六缓步动物)

    Hi Tigger, long time no see. *hug*

  29. 29
    Giliell, professional cynic -Ilk-


    If anything would be amazing than the ability of a program to understand that.
    But probably the computer just read it and thought “holy fuck how fucked up was his pronounciation of “monsieur”?
    Afterwards it directed him immediately to “remedial French”

    And heaven forbid you’d ever have to talk to a real person again…

  30. 30



    P.S. I hated hipsters before it was cool.

  31. 31

    Okay, I’ll admit it, and you can all hate me now. SOME of the features of those glasses were very useful. I don’t actually wear glasses or need to (yet…who knows what will happen) but I could be persuaded to if they were as useful and responsive as that. The augmented reality thing really appeals to me and I use it on other devices all the time.

    The sharing with my circle stuff, and oh cool a photo op stuff interests me less because I am a misanthrope of almost epic proportions. Things like Facebook and what not, people knowing where I am and being able to get hold of me whether I like it or not? Fuck directly off with bells on.

    Okay that’s not quite true. I like the idea of people. I even like some people. Some people even like me. But I’ve met too many to be okay with the concept in general. (I kid, I kid!)

    I may be exaggerating some of this for comedy purposes.


  32. 32
    'Tis Himself

    Why does he have to go to a bookstore to get an instruction book on how to play the ukulele badly? Why doesn’t he just look it up on line?

  33. 33
    'Tis Himself

    Louis #31

    Some people even like me.

    The Carl Sagan quote comes to mind: “Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.”

  34. 34


    Good point, claim retracted. Apologies.


  35. 35
    Giliell, professional cynic -Ilk-

    I bet the woman who laughed and smiled politely at his play was actually watching a video of two kittens playing with each other while pretending to listen to his crap

  36. 36

    I wonder if it’s only coincidence that some of those concept pictures look just like the addictive game that took over everyone on the Enterprise so the aliens could command the ship. Just sayin’.

  37. 37
    Ms. Daisy Cutter, General Manager for the Cleveland Steamers

    Sally, I happen to like the accordion. That doesn’t mean I didn’t nearly drive off the road laughing when I saw a bumper sticker years ago that said PARTNERSHIP FOR AN ACCORDION-FREE AMERICA.

  38. 38

    Louis @ 30

    Then you’re really going to hate London Hipsters

  39. 39
    'Tis Himself


    Q. If you throw a lawyer and an accordion off the top of a tall skyscraper, which one will hit the ground first?

    A. Who cares?

  40. 40

    Quoderatdemonstrandum, #38,


    {Today in London a mass slaughter of spectacle wearing douchedribbles occurred.


    P.S. ‘Tis, what do you call 50000 drowned lawyers* at the bottom of the ocean? A good start.

    * Substitute in politicians/media types/sundry unjustly reviled professions derived from common stereotypes and prejudice as needed.

  41. 41
    YOB - Ye Olde Blacksmith

    Scarves, chunky glasses, skinny jeans, misanthropic condescending attitude and gadgets = hipster?

    FUck fuck Fuckity fuck

    I guess I have to go back to brush poppers, cowboy hats and boots.

    I haz a sad now.

  42. 42

    Ye Olde Blacksmith?

    You may still be okay…Do you play synth? Are you prone to making racist/sexist/ableist comments (but claim them as irony, of course)? Are your glasses in fact just empty frames?
    If the answer is yes, then you’re doomed.

  43. 43

    Louis @ 40

    It gets worse, East London hipsters, denying they are East London hipsters, who look down their noses at arriviste East London hipsters and complain that arriviste East London hipsters are ruining their East London hipster neighborhood and moving further North and East, to create new, East London hipster neighborhoods.

    I have also witnessed this phenomenon in Williamsburg, Brooklyn which started arty, became hipster, went post-hipster and is now safe for banker wankers who bought the commercial lofts and appreciate the short commute to Wall Street.

    Hipsterism is a virus. It is still virulent and spreading in East London but killed its host in Williamsburg.

  44. 44


    Then you’re really going to hate London Hipsters

    Damn you. Now I can’t get that song out of my head. Thanks a lot.

  45. 45

    The term that pops to mind is “neo maxi zoom dweebie”.

  46. 46

    PZ you need to spend more time in Minneapolis, aversion therapy for Hipster Hate. We are trying to out Portland, Portland around here.

  47. 47

    hipster haters are the new hipsters

  48. 48
    Rev. BigDumbChimp


    I hope there’s enough PBR

  49. 49

    hipster haters are the new hipsters

    Pfft. Nonsense.

  50. 50

    People wandering around, asking themselves questions they don’t want answered, staring off into space?

    Creepy world.

  51. 51

    I’m a little surprised that everyone seems to be commenting on the style of the glasses and not that every time you talk to someone wearing them, they are aiming a camera at you. I really don’t like people recording me in everyday life without permission. At all, really.

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