Oct 25 2011

If ever I write a children’s book…

At least the cover is done.

I think I’d insist on renaming it The Call of Cthulwho, though.


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  1. 1

    Now that’s clever.

  2. 2

    From this guy.

  3. 3
    Jett Perrobone

    Am I the only one to read that title and think of this awesome Metallica song?

  4. 4
    Atheist Aaron

    That is quite possibly the greatest thing ever.

  5. 5

    @3 Yes, you are the only one. Metallica? really?

    That cover is great, I’ve always been a big fan of Lovecraft although he’s kind of like going to a restaurant for the atmosphere when the food is average. Few poeple know that after he died he formed a Psychedelic band.


  6. 6

    @3 No, you’re not the only one.

    @5 What’s wrong with Metallica?

  7. 7
    Gregory Greenwood

    I can see the wonderful, heartwarming scene of a reading of the children’s addition of The Call of Cthulhu even now…

    “Are you sitting comfortably, children? Then I shall begin…

    Once upon a time there was a non-Euclidean entity, a hell-spawn scion of the Elder Gods called Cthulhu. He was ever so powerful, and ever so scary. So scary, that merely looking at him could reduce you to screaming, gibbering fear-induced madness for the remainder of your days.

    Long, long ago, Cthulh was trapped in the city of R’yleh at the bottom of the ocean. There he lies still, dead but dreaming, and one day he will rise again to consume all of humanity. His faithul worshippers, as a reward for their fidelity, will be the first to be eaten, so that they need not witness the utter annihilation of mankind. When Cthulhu rises, he will eat you, your brothers and sisters, your parents, your friends, even your little dogs and cats – everyone, and the world shall be covered in darkness.

    The End.

    Sleep tight, children. And be good, or Cthulhu’s tentacled minions will come to eat your flesh and skin you to wear your hide like a cloak…”

    Still, it would be better than reading them excerpts of that most favoured compedium of sick horror stories used to terrify children into drone-like, unthinking obedience – I’m sure you can all guess what I am referring to…

  8. 8
    Akira MacKenzie

    Lovecraftian parodies of children’s books are not a new concept. Google “Where The Deep Ones Are” (The Shadow Over Innsmouth), “The Antarctc Express” (At The Moutains of Madness), and “Cliffourd the Big Red God” (The Dunwich Horror) all written by Ken Hite.

  9. 9

    Seeing this, I can’t help but mention this The Adventures of Li’l Cthulhu video on YouTube…

  10. 10


    In other cephalopod news:

    Loving the Chambered Nautilus to Death.

  11. 11

    The artist, DrFaustusAU, is actually producing the entire book not just the cover. It’s going up in dA gallery by two-page spreads. Go check it out!

    Gallery (thanks mrfright #2 for the link)

  12. 12

    Hello Cthulhu anyone?

  13. 13
    Hercules Grytpype-Thynne

    . . . an Old One’s an Old One, no matter how eldritch.

  14. 14


    It’s beginning to look a lot like fish-men.

  15. 15
    Dhorvath, OM

    Yes and no. I do think Metallica, but it’s this track instead:
    The Thing That Should Not Be

  16. 16

    Re: That Writer from Providence and the little chilluns, here’s the account of – dare I say it? – an unspeakably charming art project that was done for Hallowe’en a year ago and which I post for your pre-Hallowe’en delectation:


  17. 17

    Don’t draw too much attention to this guy, ;) ;) , or the estate of octorday eusssay (jerks) will make him take them all down. Which would be sad, because they all look to be rather entertaining.

  18. 18
    Kevin, Youhao Huo Mao


    Hey, thanks! That song beat Celluloid out of my head. Cute anime girl singing couldn’t stand a chance against awesome guitar.

  19. 19
    Troy Britain

    Horton Hears a Cthulwho“…

  20. 20
    Larry C. Lyons

    I’d love to get a copy of this. We’re reading Roger Zelazney’s Night in Lonesome October right now to our 6 year old and she doesn’t understand the references to Cthulu.

  21. 21

    Well, it’s been about 7 yrs of reading pharyngula.
    The regulars have finally made me say “Fuck off, smug gits”
    No longer will you be able to suggest that you have any insight. Same goes for you, PZ, sadly.
    Bookmark deleted.

    DaveH frae Embra

  22. 22
    PZ Myers

    Man. Someone is really sensitive about Dr. Seuss.

  23. 23

    It must have been something we said. I wonder what.

  24. 24

    Shaker’s Law states that:
    “Those who egregiously announce their imminent departure from an Internet discussion forum almost never actually leave.”

    Let’s see.

  25. 25
    The Reverend Dark

    I would not could not go insane…
    I would not could not Aiiigggh my brain!

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