Marriage and the minister’s age

A few days ago, I wrote on Twitter that my boyfriend was 20 years younger than me. The media went crazy over this piece of information. Previously, I had posted so many other things on Twitter – about receiving awards and an honorary doctorate, giving a keynote speech, and receiving a standing ovation. The media is not interested in such news at all. The media has always been extremely eager to learn more about my boyfriend or husband.

I was feeling a kind of joy after posting the news of my 20-years-younger-than-me boyfriend on Twitter. Acting like men does not suit girls. So, I wanted to see what society said if I acted like a man, if I chose a companion who was younger than me. As usual, people got furious. On the other hand, beating me, the 67-year-old railway minister got married in a grand way to a girl who is almost 40 years younger than him.

Imagine the difference between 20 and 40 years! The younger guy is just my boyfriend. And the railway minister married the girl in a grand way by arranging a “gaye holud” ceremony, dressing up the bride with ornaments and a red Banarasi saree. He himself wore a turban.

Can a 67-year-old woman ever marry a 29-year-old guy in such a way? Will anyone celebrate the marriage of an almost 70-year-old lady with a guy in his 20s the way men and women celebrated the wedding of the minister?

Many will say that if a guy is rich and powerful, then it is possible for him to marry a much younger girl. My question is: Is it possible for a rich and powerful woman in Bangladesh to marry a much younger guy? It is not only impossible, but people would swear at her and call her a man-eating witch. They will isolate her. You never know, they might even slaughter her.

Love doesn’t care about age. We know that an adult of any age can fall in love. Then, why does the man have to be the older one in a romantic relationship? If love is the main basis of the relationship, then producing children might not be very important. Many people live together or get married on the condition that they won’t have children.

Recently, this agreement is becoming more and more popular. In that case, there is no scope for anyone to object to the love or marriage between a 67-year-old woman and a 29-year-old man. But, people do object to it. When a 67-year-old man gets married, he is applauded. When a 67-year-old woman does it, she is hated by society. This is a minor example of the appalling discrimination between men and women.

Islam has gradually taken away the independence women had in pre-Islamic Arabia. 1,400 years ago, 40-year-old widowed Khadija, mother of many children, chose a 25-year-old man to marry – the Prophet. In the present Arabia, modern Khadijas don’t have the same opportunity or the courage to do so.

After her death, the Prophet got married almost a dozen times. He even married a girl who was 50 years younger than him. The disciples of the Prophet are following this incidence of him marrying someone younger at an older age. The Prophet also married a widower who was 15 years older than him. No “true” Muslim has an interest in following that.

I guess the railway minister will depend much on sildenafil citrate or Viagra. There is a limit to taking Viagra. Viagra does not work on everybody. It is prohibited for people with heart, kidney, and liver problems. Our railway minister will play with the body of a young lady. He will play, even though he might not be an expert, because he is a man. He has the right to play with whoever he wants. The entire world is a playground for men.

The girl will suffer. She will suffer from extreme depression. But she will be forced to stay captive in the man’s cage known as marriage. It is because she is a toy, a sex toy – a decoration piece.

She will probably be forced to act like she is happy, even though she is not. Most girls have to do this. They are not happy, but they pretend that they are. Or, they think that sadness, regret, and oppression are happiness, achievement, and independence. They have learned to think like that from childhood.

It is probably not possible anymore for most of them to learn something new, something that is completely opposite to what they have been taught. What men have learned from their childhood is that they are the masters – the superiors. They know better and understand better. The society and the entire world exist for them. They will rule. They will consume. Most men refuse to learn anything that contradicts this.


  1. dibakar chakraborty says

    Let us put it like this. Liking a younger sex partner is probably a predominant tendency of the humankind since the days of our cave dwelling ancestors. A primitive Matriarch of the earliest human group, typically, was believed to have enjoyed sexual partnership of younger and stronger males. This was a privilege bestowed upon her in view of her leading position in the family or the group. Things have, though, undergone a drastic change since the Patriarch emerged as leader of the family/group and of subsequent human societies who had changed the rule of the game in his favour. Sporadic exceptions may be present till date here and there in the midst of the above general trend.

    Although, primitive, this inclination for younger sexual partners points to the fact that sex was never a mere means of reproduction to the human mind/brain. The primitive human also had sexual preferences. Only the stronger variety had the privilege of exercising these preferences though. This is true for most present day societies too. The dominant males are the privileged ones with few courageous exceptions here and there. In societies where this factor of dominance is reduced by struggles and enlightenment, there this privilege is more evenly enjoyed.
    In the meantime, if the reader likes, he or she can go on yawning and getting bored on the prospect of our fair sex in this outrageous matter in foreseeable future in this part of the world. Yawn!!!

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