We are so totally screwed.
If you’re curious to know what the future holds for us, here’s a demonstration by Candace Owens.
She babbles about how the moon landing and dinosaurs were all conspiracies by satanists to destroy our faith in a god, based entirely on disconnected factoids floating like rotten little raisins in the pudding of her brain. I fear that this kind of thing is what the world sees when they look at Americans.
Have any of you foreigners popping in here got any good American jokes? We’ll probably affirm them all for you.
I put together a (probably depressing) playlist for this occasion! https://toot.cat/@woozle/113835267437387641 (includes link to commentary on each song and another link so you can play them all on YouTube)
I need to come up with some good slogans to stick on my laptop. “NO STRONGMEN / NO AUTOCRATS / NO DICTATORS / NO KINGS / NO EMPIRES” is probably the best one so far.
I’ve only made 4 memes before. Here are the two I’ve made regarding the upcoming felon-in-chief.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1csMcGFuMalJjyTI-ZefoYgDjyC2QNEWL/view?usp=sharing, https://drive.google.com/file/d/1zk9YIDebdto-FULRTr5g9XUxoP65aUHm/view?usp=sharing
Stop me if you’ve heard this one….
Q. What borders on stupidity?
A. Canada and Mexico
From the UK, I’d wish you all good luck, but I’m almost as scared of what the effect will be in Europe. Musk has already been oozing his tentacles into our and German politics.
I’m sorry about this and I think that it’s unfair but..
America went straight from barbarism to decadence without the usual interval of civilisation.
wearsbellsonlegs @3- it worked, I laughed at that one.
I didn’t think it was possible for me to feel sorry for a Brexit-supporting Conservative Life Peer. I was wrong. I do feel sorry for Baron Farmer, Candice Owen’s father-in-law, in at least this one respect.
I googled and found this anecdote, which I enjoyed:
When I arrived in Australia there were 11 other Americans all arriving to go to school in Newcastle, which is a bit North of Sydney. We decided to all go out for beer the first night. We only had heard of one beer, Fosters. All the TV commercials said “Fosters, it’s Australian for beer!” We saddled up to the bar and all said we would take Fosters. She said, and I quote, “We don’t serve that shit here” God damn commercials are lies.
Morning in America and it already seems a good day to be quietly drunk as I contemplate the slow death of my country and also whether or not I will still have a job next week.
@ 10
I’m still wondering just how far down the social ladder Trump is going to reach to get at dissidents and critics. Will he just go after the popular, well known critics, or will he target us all?
This is what Canada is thinking about: https://youtu.be/g-Vy6qmRMk4?si=9L929OEcy6DHK-OR
OK – I found this one it is a doozy:
The following is the transcript of the actual radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland:
Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees the South to avoid a collision.
Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees the North to avoid a collision.
Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.
Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.
Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES’ ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, I SAY AGAIN, THAT’S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.
Canadians: This is a lighthouse, over…
To quote great Kabarettist Volker Pispers (badly translated by me):
and
“Fake and Gay”?
Jesus.
Louis
@14 Louis
Probably, yes.
Owens married a stinking rich guy. She only has one job.
Two things.
First, she’s fucking, babbling loon. The only space vacuum I noticed is inside her skull.
Second, When I was in Germany recently I saw the Confederate Stars-and-Bars battle flag in some people’s windows. I was told that because the swastika is illegal in Germany, the neo-Nazis have appropriated the flag as their own symbol. Way to go, America. Another great export.
John Watts please has anyone modified the Stars and Stripes to the Swastikas and Stripes yet?
@8
Apparently is Australian for Japanese beer. It’s owned by Asahi Group Holdings, a Japanese firm.
@12 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lighthouse_and_naval_vessel_urban_legend
@17 Two things.
One, the US didn’t export the Confederate flag to Germany, the usual asshats (Alternative für Deutschland, etc.) in Germany imported it.
Two, it is the second time Germany has imported shitty American racist ideas, the first time having been the eugenics movement, which Hitler adopted wholesale and then cranked the dial to eleven.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buck_v._Bell
https://petrieflom.law.harvard.edu/2020/10/14/why-buck-v-bell-still-matters/
https://www.npr.org/2017/03/24/521360544/the-supreme-court-ruling-that-led-to-70-000-forced-sterilizations
There’s no need to accuse the US of fake morally reprehensible actions when Dolt 45 will undoubtedly provide real ones in abundance and short order.
And so it begins.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/immigration/2025/01/20/trump-immigration-executive-orders/
Just remember that the forced birthers, who will not allow an abortion under any circumstances because all life is precious, has no issues at all about ripping kids away from their parents. Behold right-wing Christian family values.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/immigration/2024/12/26/immigration-border-tom-homan-trump/
I think at least the third, since “Lebensraum” was also an import from the US. Or, when translated back to its original American English, “Manifest Destiny”.
Oi, Owens… that woman has been a train wreck that you wish you could look away from and probably will end up being somebody’s textbook case for self-radicalization.
She first became a name by proposing a site to counter cyber-bullying (which she had apparently been subject to when younger)… that would have been basically a name-and-shame site. And anybody who understands anything about the dynamics understands that a site like that would have almost immediately been co-opted as part of a form of bullying in itself.
So a number of people, including Zoey Quinn (this was during the early ramp-up of GamerGate) pointed out just how bad an idea this was. Owens not only refused to deal with the possibility that she might have had a bad idea, she immediately decided that Quinn was obviously trying to undermine her, and started calling Quinn a bully.
Then a lot of the core folks of GamerGate, who had previously been harassing her, realized they had a potential useful idiot on their hands and started courting her while trying to convince her that all the previous harassment was Quinn’s fault, not theirs.
Then as she started getting into all the ranting about ‘political correctness’ and later ‘woke’ she became a darling of the conservative wingnut rant circuit, especially as she allowed them to play the ‘see we’re not really racist or sexist’ line.
By now she’s just whipped herself into her own little cocoon of ‘alternative facts’. And unlike some of the people involved, I can’t say I’ve ever seen any indication she’s faking her views for money; she’s in it for the attention and validation, and has always seemed to be entirely up front about it. Even her original anti-bullying site idea was always more about wanting to be ‘the one who solved the problem’ than it was about actually wanting to solve the problem itself.
Trump the senile orange fascist rapist is right now sitting in the White House lying to the media over and over, spewing his hateful crap as he keeps signing Executive Order after executive order after Executive Order smirking and saying “Ohhh that’s a big one!” repeatedly like a spoilt toddler with dementia opening presents on Xmas Day. The USA has just left the World Health Organisation, abandoned the Paris Climate Accords and other UN treaties dealing with climate, started Musk’s DOGE dept, ended Biden’s sanctions on extremist Israeli settlers. People pass him bills speaking to Trump like the puppet he is using vague single lines about each EO that he scrawls his John Hancock on without reading as he waffles and lies, about ending “censorship” (enabling unchecked hate speech and bigotry), declaring an “energy emergency” (giving oil companies the power to ignore any environmental or legal concerns whatsoever), pardoning the Jan 6th seditionists and so much more. So very much more that it’s easy to lose track of – a policy EO’s Gish Gallop of Fascist shit that we’ll be wading through and living in from now on.
So, again, thankyou Vicar, beholder, Jill Stein, West and rest of the Purity Disunity mob and those who couldn’t be bothered voting to save the USoA from actual fucking nazis because you mistakenly believed the two parties were as bad as each other or almost so. That sure has been proven wrong today. You evil gullible tools might deserve this Trumpian Fascist era world you’ve inflicted on us but rational, humane good people unlike you do NOT. A lot of needles death, suffering and actual American – and global – carnage will ensue now. The United States of America is now being destroyed and replaced with a fascist state where literal neo-nazis like Musk rule. YOU did that. Now we all have to live with it.
American jokes? America IS the joke. And the joke’s on us, the rest of the world.
@22 Manifest destiny is the trickle down version of “divine right of kings” and is an ideology brought to America by European colonists.
Both manifest destiny and the divine right of kings rely on the belief that your magical invisible sky fairy friend, who agrees with everything you do and hates the same people you hate, blesses your every enterprise, which makes it totally okay to commit genocide, enslave people, steal/drive them off their land, etc.