When life gives you a pandemic, make lemonade

I’ve lost of all the quack remedies for COVID that have been invented by grifters: hydroxychloroquine, ivermectin, bleach, betadine, etc. Here’s one we could have predicted — urine. There’s a weird fringe of urine-drinkers who have been around for a long time, so it’s unsurprising they were ready to leap into the fray.

Anti-COVID-19 “Vaccine Police” leader Christopher Key has a new quarter-baked conspiracy theory for his anti-vax followers to use to cure themselves of COVID-19: Drink their own urine. “The antidote that we have seen now, and we have tons and tons of research, is urine therapy. OK, and I know to a lot of you this sounds crazy, but guys, God’s given us everything we need,” Key said in a video posted over the weekend on his Telegram account after being released from jail over a trespassing charge. “This has been around for centuries,” he added. “When I tell you this, please take it with a grain of salt,” the anti-vaccine advocate warned while saying people might now think he is “cray cray.” “Now drink urine!” he continued. “This vaccine is the worst bioweapon I have ever seen,” he concluded. “I drink my own urine!” Reached for comment by The Daily Beast on Sunday night, Key doubled down on what he calls “urine therapy” and railed against “foolish” people who took the COVID-19 vaccine, which is safe and effective.

Oh, you think that’s awful? Here’s something worse.

Never take a popsicle or a glass of lemonade from a stranger, and don’t let your kids take drinks from their weird friends.


  1. says

    Surely giving a her daughters friend urine laced popsicle without parental consent is a criminal offence. He just confessed so it should be an easy conviction.

  2. Akira MacKenzie says

    I know Dubbya administration seriously weakened environmental regulations, but was there an unreported-upon executive order mandating deliberately adding lead into the drinking water back in the 00s? I have no other explanation for the Grand mal stupidity that has broken out over the last decade.

    (Yes, yes, I know/ The real reason for our current mess are decades of pent-up right-wing political/religious paranoia and racial resentment suddenly released because of 9-11 and the election of America’s first–and at the rate things are going, only–black president, amplified by an unregulated Internet whose providers pander to extremism for profit.)

  3. says

    So this dirtball just admitted he was making his own daughter, and her friends, drink his pee, without telling them? I’m sure he’ll be real popular in prison…

  4. hemidactylus says

    I do see a marketing angle for improvement in learning a foreign language, but it might be a wee bit too much for most. Language Wiz.

  5. says

    @Raging Bee it might be a she who\’s giving kids urinecicles. I saw a comment elsewhere that stated some of the more woo infected web forums for moms have people talking about urine therapy.

  6. says

    Also, those kids’ grades are going to “start to skyrocket” any, because they’re GROWING UP. And this sadistic moron is already preemptively taking credit for it. This idiot is a child-abuser, and deserves to be treated as such.

  7. raven says

    On the bright side, urine drinking is a good way to screen people.
    And get them out of your life and far away from you, your children, and your pets.

    Early on, Paul Krugman said the USA is flunking the marshmallow test in our handling of the pandemic.
    A huge number of people are also flunking a simple real life IQ test and winning Darwin awards and Herman Cain Awards.

  8. lumipuna says

    There’s a weird fringe of urine-drinkers who have been around for a long time

    I have been around on the internet for a long time too – approximately since the Bear Grylls piss-drinking memes.

  9. stroppy says

    Famously, former Indian Prime Minister Morarji Desai regularly drank his own urine, apparently a traditional practice in some parts of India. I don’t know the origins, but it may be ancient?

  10. whywhywhy says

    Using the ‘scientific’ approach of the piss-drinker, I can say with certitude that drinking one’s own urine has a chance of changing the drinker into a sadistic abuser.

  11. springa73 says

    Just intuitively, drinking stuff that the body goes to great lengths to expel seems like a bad idea.

  12. says

    @14: Yeah, that’s how the body gets rid of poisons and the normal waste generated by all the body’s component cells. This person is both incredibly stupid and a monstrously incompetent and uncaring parent. Assuming they’re not just making all this up, that is…

  13. outis says

    Eh, I suppose it was a matter of time.
    You see, in the UK when you are talkin’ strange, they ask if you are taking the piss. Turns out they are.
    And these guys, they are always going on about being number one, so, well…

  14. Rich Woods says

    “When I tell you this, please take it with a grain of salt,”

    A nitrogen salt, perchance?

  15. lpetrich says

    As to ivermectin, I checked on what it’s recommended for, and it works for many vertebrates, attacking a wide range of arthropods and nematodes.

    It works over the full range of bony vertebrates, including salmon. I worked from what it is reported to successfully treat, and that can be patchy.

    The targeted arthropods cover the full range: (mandibulates: pancrustaceans) botflies, lice, sea lice, (chelicerates: arachnids) ticks, mites.

    The targeted nematodes cover much of the range of nematode phylogeny, as far as I can tell from the literature.

    Ivermectin doesn’t work on tapeworms, as far as I can tell.

    Vertebrates are protected from ivermectin because of their blood-brain barrier, but that barrier can be surmounted with high-enough doses. Ivermectin preparations for domestic animals are usually careful about how to avoid overdoses. For our species, it has been successful in treating such nematode-caused conditions as river blindness.

  16. Jean says

    If this is a woman giving urine to children and she’s on the pill, I wonder if that could have some really bad side effects.

  17. unclefrogy says

    I used to think that we humans in modern societies had progressed past the susceptibility to superstitions. That we were more sophisticated then the “primitive societies” we encountered. clearly I was wrong the persistence of superstition remarkable.

  18. lpetrich says

    Although ivermectin is often successful in treating vertebrates, I could not find any claim that is works for any invertebrate, not even economically valuable ones like honeybees.

    https://dermnetnz.org/topics/ivermectin explains how it works: “Ivermectin stimulates excessive release of neurotransmitters in the peripheral nervous system of parasites. It is thought to work by paralysing the parasite or inactivating the parasite gut. In humans the neurotransmitters acted on by ivermectin are in the brain. A protective barrier, called the blood-brain barrier, blocks ivermectin from reaching the human brain.”

    So it’s not surprising that it doesn’t work for viruses.

  19. wzrd1 says

    “This vaccine is the worst bioweapon I have ever seen,”, yeah, I’ll concede that point. It only causes an immune system to target one specific subspecies, rather than like every other bioweapon and target pretty much every vertebrate.
    At lest ivermectin is much broader nerve agent, targeting anything with a nervous system that lacks a blood-brain barrier. Still, to be a bit more through, I’ll go with a wider agent, one of the Novochok series. 100 mg and nothing will ever attack me again.
    After all, once one’s dead and heavily impregnated with one of the most lethal cholinesterase inhibitors on the planet, what would want to nibble on you that possesses any form of nervous system?

    Seriously though, I’ll stick with the narrowly targeted vaccine. I’ll reserve urine for demonstration of extracting elemental phosphorus from it. I anticipate the likelihood of actually doing so as negligible. :)

  20. vucodlak says

    Wow… I do hope they notify the coroner first, because “I’ve been making your kid drink my piss” is the kind of revelation that’s apt to result in a body count. There’s not a jury in the world would convict the murderer, either.

    Half an ounce into an undisclosed amount of lemonade is slightly less horrible than what I was imagining when I read “urine popsicles,” I suppose. Urine isn’t really the sort of taste you want to savor in frozen treat form.

  21. jenorafeuer says

    Also, one might think that the same sort of person who would scream bloody murder if somebody vaccinated their children without their consent might think twice before giving their neighbour’s children ‘medicine’ without their consent, But we all know that people like this only care about their own interests, and everybody else should be grateful that they’re being looked out for.

  22. nomdeplume says

    There is an Australian slang expression “taking the piss” (which means roughly “you’re having me on” or “you’ve got to be joking”) which has just acquired a whole new meaning…

  23. says

    There are apparently mentions of urine drinking in old Indian medical texts, but it’s been suggested that many people in modern India got the idea from the same place many Westerns did, an early 20th Century English naturopath named John W. Armstrong.