I get email

It’s not much, but I’m getting ready to head out the door for my long trek home, so it’s all you’re going to get.

By the way, they sent a link, but it’s just that butchered Ray Comfort interview from years ago. You can skip it.

You love Satan but he hates you!
Just spotted you acting all sophisticated and claiming to be atheist on this youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQaReWoUyyQ.

Why don’t you grow up, get a copy of Darwin’s Worms book and try reason through that irrefutable fact he established – WORMS MAKE TOPSOIL AT THE RATE OF ONE INCH PER FIVE YEARS.

You seem to have sufficient intelligence to read the Worms book so why don’t you do it and stop promoting Satan?

Uh, OK. I have read the worm book. It doesn’t refute evolution — you know there are multiple processes at work in creating topsoil, including erosion taking it away, right? — and I presume this person is playing some weird game about the thickness of the soil supporting their young earth delusion.

By the way, you note that I said I’m an atheist. Perhaps this will shock you, but atheists don’t believe in Satan, either.

Besides, I only worship spider gods now.


  1. wzrd1 says

    I am confused!
    Whatever gave them the impression that Satan hates me? Hes made my employee of the year for centuries.

    Some idiot asked me what I’d do if I were god. I replied instantly, “I’d instantly become an atheist”. Being an idiot, they didn’t get it.

  2. says

    I stopped believing in Satan BEFORE I stopped believing in God. You know, for such an important figure in modern Evangelical circles, he’s barely mentioned in the bible. He shows up as a stock character in a few parables. He’s blamed for some misbehavior, i.e. “The devil made me do it”. Other than that he’s not very important.

  3. KG says

    So, lessee, one inch in 5 years means 1200 inches or 100 feet in the 6000 years of earth history Biblical literalists believe in. But nowhere on earth has anythiig like 100 feet of topsoil! Clearly, the earth can’t be more than a few hundred years old at most, so Jesus never existed. D’you think that’s what your correspondent meant?

  4. PaulBC says

    So is worshipping Satan going to be good or bad for my garden? I know the whole Lord of the Flies thing. Who’s in charge of the worms? (Sorry I may have missed the whole point. I need some coffee.)

  5. drsteve says

    The Diet of Worms was instigated by the Catholic Church, so I would guess in the absence of other evidence that they still have a controlling interest in worm governance.

  6. birgerjohansson says

    If you have a direct line to satan*, you should ask him this question.
    “Dear satan” https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/dear-satan
    *Lower-case “s”, because “satan” is a position/work descrition meaning “accuser”/ legal adversary”. The bloke who messed with Job was working FOR Jahve/El, doing quality testing on one of the expendable subjects. Later Jewish religion distanced Jahve from the satan, as he was so obviously “satanic”.

  7. Artor says

    “Besides, I only worship spider gods now.”
    What? Forget this “Satan” guy. Sithrak the Blind Gibberer hates you unconditionally!

  8. raven says

    Who’s in charge of the worms?

    The position of god of the worms seems to be open right now.

    We also have openings for a lot of life forms that the ancients didn’t even know about.
    The gods of the bacteria, fungi, and protozoans.
    The gods of bacteriophages and eukaryotic viruses.

  9. whheydt says

    Spider gods? You need to read Graydon Saunders’ Commonweal books. Start with The March North. (Saunders has the laudable habit of Not Telling You Everything. You have to figure out a lot of the setting on your own from minor hints.)

  10. says

    lessee, one inch in 5 years means 1200 inches or 100 feet in the 6000 years of earth history Biblical literalists believe in. But nowhere on earth has anythiig like 100 feet of topsoil! Clearly, the earth can’t be more than a few hundred years old at most,

    The PNW has more topsoil than Greenland, therefore the Goddess created the PNW first. Obviously the PNW is God’s Holy Land, CHECKMATE CHRISTIANS!

  11. Akira MacKenzie says

    Bah, screw Satan, spiders, and flies! I’m worshiping worms:

    Bless the Maker and His water.
    Bless the coming and going of Him.
    May His passage cleanse the world.
    May He keep the world for His people.

  12. Ariaflame, BSc, BF, PhD says

    I thought the Great Spider god was in charge of parking spaces.

  13. Nemo says

    You only claim to be an atheist, because there are no real atheists, because the Bible says so, at least according to their interpretation. This is probably the single most annoying thing the fundagelicals do.

  14. PaulBC says

    I forget where, but I recall seeing graffiti that said “worship satin”.

    It’s not for me. I prefer 100% cotton. Synthetics are fine for outer wear. But I appreciate the passion of anyone so attached to a specific fabric that they worship it.

  15. raven says

    Actually, the bible says there are atheists.

    Psalm 14
    The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God.

    Xians quote this often.

    The strong and brave say it out loud and often.

  16. mnb0 says

    @16 Nemo: yeah, isn’t it lovely that fundagelicals preach modesty and are arrogant enough to claim that they understand better what non-believers think and feel than those unbelievers themselves?

    @18 Raven: ah, the fool may have said in his heart that there is no god, but he (she doesn’t matter anyway) still knows in his head that there is one.
    You can’t beat fundagelicalism by using reason and quoting facts.

  17. mandrake says

    @20 Hey, what’s this crawling up my leg? Wasn’t there a minute ago. Maybe some tetracycline might scare it away..

  18. nomdeplume says

    What an odd mindset fundamentalists/creationists have. They are constantly on the look out for some isolated piece of information (rather like a bird seeking a worm) which can “disprove” all of the scientific work of the last 2500 years (mind you, so is much of the media, and conservative politicians). They find it impossible to consider context.

  19. maireaine46 says

    BCW, thanks for a superb version of “The Worms crawl in, the Worms crawl out…” I wonder if kids still learn this gruesome playground song? I know the chorus well, but had no idea there was so much more!

    Speaking of kids songs, Does Iliana know the “Itsy Bitsy Spider” song? That one is more cheerful, the spider suffers no harm and “crawls up the spout again.”

  20. whheydt says

    Re: PaulBC @ #17…
    The cry of the costumer…”Get thee behind me, satin!”

  21. William George says

    I had to worship Satan.

    It was the only way I could play D&D in the 80s

  22. lumipuna says

    worship satin

    I literally just saw a discussion to that effect on my local fetish community site.

  23. birgerjohansson says

    In the anthology “The Color of Magic ” (the first Discworld book) we learn about the ancient, many-limbed god Bel-Shamaroth , whose number is “8”.
    Such is the nature of this cephalopod (arachnid?) god that people in the Discworld avoid using that number as much as possible.
    Elderly entities like dryads and elves have found a refuge in the forest near his temple since entropy itself is afraid to go near.
    Another quirk is that Bel-shamaroth’s temple is larger on the inside than the outside.
    If the University of Morris set up a place of worship it would solve both the problems with storage, and with preservation of items that normally do not keep without expensive preservation work.
    There will inevitably be some “attrition” of students and staff, but if the administration of the University are politically appointed businessmen they are unlikely to make an issue of it.
    Another option is to lure Qanon followers to the Bel-shamaroth chapel. Just tell them it is where liberals keep abducted children. The issue of sacrifices will solve itself.