Look who WholeFoods magazine selected as their “Man of the Year”. It’s not very delectable, but OK. Can I get it delivered? Do I have to clean and dress it myself? Can I order just a few select cuts?
WholeFoods magazine is a trade magazine that bills itself as “informing and educating the natural foods industry”, peddling supplements to retailers. They seem to be very gung ho about CBD and hemp farming, and like McConnell because he’s sponsored legislation to encourage more hemp. OK.
Still, that’s a distasteful and unappetizing slab of meat they’re selling.
Okay, so this is messed up no matter what, but I have to ask, is Whole Foods magazine in any way connected to Whole Foods the grocery store?
That looks as if it has gone off. If you are going to eat it, I recommend boiling the absolute shit out of it.
Crip Dyke@1, No, they seem to be unrelated, Whole Foods Market responds to criticism by clarifying it’s not affiliated with magazine that named McConnell :
It seems important to note here the shops have a space in their name (Whole⎵Foods…) whilst the propaganda sheet does not (WholeFads…).
@2, Boiling is unlikely to the sufficient or even safe. I understand it’s filled with hot noxious gasses and explodes when in contact with reality, so attempts to boil it would probably result in a superheated steam explosion and a pandemic.
Incineration by a carefully trained hazardous waste disposal team might work, but rocketing it into the Sun is fairly certain to work.
(As an aside, the picture is of what is allegedly a person, so we really shouldn’t be calling it “it” — but this one seems to be an exception to that guideline.)
Eat McConnell?! Good gods, no. Who knows what kind of nematodes his putrefied ass is riddled with. We’d better drop him into an active volcano.
IIs rancid. Send it back.
Eat Mitch McCannibal? No thanks. You’d probably catch Kuru-publican.
OMG the comments on the original article aren’t locked down! All you need is a (not necessarily real) email address. Feel free to make any comment to the original publisher. I’m about to get really nasty.
Turtle is actually considered a delicacy in many cultures.
Ugh, I wouldn’t even grind him up for summer sausage.
#8 Ray Ceeya – Heh. Almost half the comments are a boiler-plate from the magazine staff, to wit:
Guess the mag had to state that. On the other hand, it’s fine by me if people confuse this mag with Bezo’s Whole Foods Market.
Eat that prehistoric slab of gristle? No way!
The only thing to decide is whether to have it carbon dated, fumigated, or cremated and buried at sea.
And Hitler was an anti-smoking Vegetarian who loved dogs.
Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man.
Many of the classics of French cuisine are attempts to make the best of substandard ingredients. Coq au vin being a case in point, made as it is traditionally with a stringy old rooster who’s come to the end of his useful life… you have to soak him in plonk for a few hours just to make him edible. I’m not quite sure what you’d need to marinate Mitch McConnell’s old carcass in but I’m pretty sure it’s not found on this Earth.
Oh FFS he has encouraged the growing of hemp so you make him “man of the year” ignoring the thousand other things he has done and is doing to damage Americans?
Trying to think of anything Kentucky is famous for to make Moscow Mitch more palatable. Is Kentucky style BBQ up to the task? I’d need a crapload of whiskey, but Wild Turkey? I prefer Canadian whiskey really to the Southern brands. Or a Moscow Mule. The ginger beer settles the stomach afterward.
Kentucky Fried Chicken? Hmmm…maybe their original recipe might work out on this one. Need a bunch of sides though…some mashed taters, logs, and cheesy macaroni. The bucket’s gonna be huge, so family sized?
I wouldn’t think there was much meat on those old bones to make much of a meal you could just render the fat down to make some soap and feed the rest to the rescue dogs. but not the bones as they are probably pretty contaminated with accumulated toxic chemicals like lead, arsenic and pesticides also remove the liver as it has probably full of it’s share of who knows what
uncle frogy
I wouldn’t think there was much meat on those old bones to make much of a meal you could just render the fat down to make some soap and feed the rest to the rescue dogs. but not the bones as they are probably pretty contaminated with accumulated toxic chemicals like lead, arsenic and pesticides also remove the liver as it has probably full of its share of who knows what
uncle frogy
People shouldn’t boycott Whole Foods as it’s not connected to this magazine.
People should boycott Whole Foods because it’s owned by Amazon.
I’ll simply say, CBD oil, marketed as Hemp Oil, does have some significant effects on my wife and my spinal issues.
Nowhere near an opiate or opioid, but damned close to either, without a major mast cell dump.
Would that we could research that, but under Clinton’s didn’t inhale thing, everything went into stasis.