I guess I have to take “Eat the Rich” literally


Look who WholeFoods magazine selected as their “Man of the Year”. It’s not very delectable, but OK. Can I get it delivered? Do I have to clean and dress it myself? Can I order just a few select cuts?

WholeFoods magazine is a trade magazine that bills itself as “informing and educating the natural foods industry”, peddling supplements to retailers. They seem to be very gung ho about CBD and hemp farming, and like McConnell because he’s sponsored legislation to encourage more hemp. OK.

Still, that’s a distasteful and unappetizing slab of meat they’re selling.

Comments

  1. harryblack says

    That looks as if it has gone off. If you are going to eat it, I recommend boiling the absolute shit out of it.

  2. blf says

    Crip Dyke@1, No, they seem to be unrelated, Whole Foods Market responds to criticism by clarifying it’s not affiliated with magazine that named McConnell Person of the Year:

    Whole Foods Market Inc., a popular multinational supermarket chain, is responding to a wave of criticism it’s been receiving this week from customers threatening to boycott its stores because a magazine with a similar name recognized Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) as Person of the Year.

    Over the course of several days, the market has been responding to a slew of upset customers from its official Twitter account to clarify that it is in no way affiliated with the publication WholeFoods Magazine.

    […]

    It seems important to note here the shops have a space in their name (Whole⎵Foods…) whilst the propaganda sheet does not (WholeFads…).

  3. blf says

    @2, Boiling is unlikely to the sufficient or even safe. I understand it’s filled with hot noxious gasses and explodes when in contact with reality, so attempts to boil it would probably result in a superheated steam explosion and a pandemic.

    Incineration by a carefully trained hazardous waste disposal team might work, but rocketing it into the Sun is fairly certain to work.

    (As an aside, the picture is of what is allegedly a person, so we really shouldn’t be calling it “it” — but this one seems to be an exception to that guideline.)

  4. Ishikiri says

    Eat McConnell?! Good gods, no. Who knows what kind of nematodes his putrefied ass is riddled with. We’d better drop him into an active volcano.

  5. says

    OMG the comments on the original article aren’t locked down! All you need is a (not necessarily real) email address. Feel free to make any comment to the original publisher. I’m about to get really nasty.

  6. rabbitbrush says

    #8 Ray Ceeya – Heh. Almost half the comments are a boiler-plate from the magazine staff, to wit:

    WholeFoods Magazine is a b-to-b magazine serving the natural products industry since 1977. The publication has no affiliation with Whole Foods Market.

    Guess the mag had to state that. On the other hand, it’s fine by me if people confuse this mag with Bezo’s Whole Foods Market.

  7. microraptor says

    Eat that prehistoric slab of gristle? No way!

    The only thing to decide is whether to have it carbon dated, fumigated, or cremated and buried at sea.

  8. laurian says

    And Hitler was an anti-smoking Vegetarian who loved dogs.

    Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man.

  9. says

    Many of the classics of French cuisine are attempts to make the best of substandard ingredients. Coq au vin being a case in point, made as it is traditionally with a stringy old rooster who’s come to the end of his useful life… you have to soak him in plonk for a few hours just to make him edible. I’m not quite sure what you’d need to marinate Mitch McConnell’s old carcass in but I’m pretty sure it’s not found on this Earth.

  10. nomdeplume says

    Oh FFS he has encouraged the growing of hemp so you make him “man of the year” ignoring the thousand other things he has done and is doing to damage Americans?

  11. hemidactylus says

    Trying to think of anything Kentucky is famous for to make Moscow Mitch more palatable. Is Kentucky style BBQ up to the task? I’d need a crapload of whiskey, but Wild Turkey? I prefer Canadian whiskey really to the Southern brands. Or a Moscow Mule. The ginger beer settles the stomach afterward.

    Kentucky Fried Chicken? Hmmm…maybe their original recipe might work out on this one. Need a bunch of sides though…some mashed taters, logs, and cheesy macaroni. The bucket’s gonna be huge, so family sized?

  12. unclefrogy says

    I wouldn’t think there was much meat on those old bones to make much of a meal you could just render the fat down to make some soap and feed the rest to the rescue dogs. but not the bones as they are probably pretty contaminated with accumulated toxic chemicals like lead, arsenic and pesticides also remove the liver as it has probably full of it’s share of who knows what
    uncle frogy

  13. unclefrogy says

    I wouldn’t think there was much meat on those old bones to make much of a meal you could just render the fat down to make some soap and feed the rest to the rescue dogs. but not the bones as they are probably pretty contaminated with accumulated toxic chemicals like lead, arsenic and pesticides also remove the liver as it has probably full of its share of who knows what
    uncle frogy

  14. wzrd1 says

    I’ll simply say, CBD oil, marketed as Hemp Oil, does have some significant effects on my wife and my spinal issues.
    Nowhere near an opiate or opioid, but damned close to either, without a major mast cell dump.

    Would that we could research that, but under Clinton’s didn’t inhale thing, everything went into stasis.

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