My knee is much better this week, thank you very much

My chaotic evil knee (the left one) decided to act up last week, and for a while it was so swollen I couldn’t fit into a pair of jeans and was reduced to wearing sweat pants — oh, the shame of it all. Today, as I expected, the swelling is pretty much gone. The knee just does this, randomly deciding to blow out and spew lubricating fluid all over the joint, and then eventually resorbing everything and acting as if nothing is wrong. This is why it’s my chaotic evil knee.

Unfortunately, now I have to deal with the sequelae of gimping about for a week. My right knee, the lawful evil one, is resentful of having to do more than its fair share of the work, and is showing well-earned signs of stress, so I’ll have to molly-coddle it for a while to make sure it doesn’t revolt. My lower back which, appropriate to its central location, is neutral evil, is also unhappy because it detests asymmetry and gets extraordinarily annoyed when I favor one side over the other, and is now twinging painfully.

This is the way I cope. My body is a coalition of bitter, resentful parts that have to be coaxed into reluctantly cooperating.


  1. davidc1 says

    Get yourself a parrot and a crutch ,and drive your family mad by doing Robert Newton /Long John Silver impressions .
    Better still, given your Scandinavian ancestry .

  2. marinerachel says

    I’m recovering from a neck/shoulder strain on the right side right now. After most of a MONTH of that side being seized up, I FINALLY felt the spasm releasing for good last week. It’s gotten a little better every day. The nerves are still a bit inflamed and sending zinging messages down my arm. It’s nothing compared to how severe the pain and lack of mobility and tingling I’ve been dealing with over the last month though.

    But now, after weeks of doing the right side’s work, my LEFT shoulder into my neck is seizing up.

    I just… at least I have a few days off to lay on my back on a heating pad and recover.

  3. says

    I’m halfway through a gout attack brought on by a dinner that was a bit too much wine, proportionately. This swollen knee thing, do you have a hypothetical cause?

    I knew someone who had that happen and it turned out to be parvovirus. Another, it was gout. Another, lupus. I got the impression the doctors use a ouija board for diagnostics.

  4. Rob Grigjanis says

    chigau @1: When I hear “swollen knee” my brain goes straight to “ice pack”. Years of conditioning.

  5. fentex says

    Sounds like Water On the Knee, which I’ve had a couple of times.

    In my experience it’s a very bad thing to sit on a chair for a length of time with it – you can feel fine but boy when you try to stand up… I once stayed late at work, after everyone had gone home working at my desk then found I could not walk when I tried to leave

    Had to lie on my back for half an hour until enough fluid had drained to hobble downstairs.

    I find diclofenac (the active ingredient in many anti-inflammatories) works well for me with regards to this.

  6. wzrd1 says

    @1, that’s my go to in the morning to unseize my back, especially if the weather is turning, triggering my superpower.
    I am Barometerman.
    I usually set the bath at around 105 degrees F, not C, thank you. ;)

    As for knees, mine are cranky, due to osteoarthritis, secondary to a long military career. So, they’ll get cranky, but not blow out. Last time I had a knee blow out was when our eldest was going to college and came home on spring break. As she was the captain of the school fencing team, of course we had to have an informal bout in the driveway, with me taking the down slope position. I won, as usual. My left knee lost, was double normal size.
    I’ll win, a body part or two might drop off, but it was a victory.
    It was good enough for King Pyrrhus. ;)

  7. chigau (違う) says

    Rob Grigjanis #7
    Pour moi, it’s alternating heat and cold. As needed.
    The hot bath is for generalised comfort. As is the accompanying white wine (or rum).

  8. mcfrank0 says

    “My body is a coalition of bitter, resentful parts that have to be coaxed into reluctantly cooperating.”

    Looks like you are showing true leadership!

  9. Crudely Wrott says

    Multiple crushed disks in my spine. Some cervical, some lumbar. Worked around them for decades. Turned sixty and they all spoke as one: no more!
    Choices of treatment are pretty much limited to drugs (nope; if it won’t fit in my little brass bowl, then nope) or surgery which has a less than encouraging success rate and is hideously expensive and quite beyond my means.
    So I learn to live with the pain. Something that I take no small measure of pleasure in doing. It’s a victory of sorts. Still hurts all the time but it has been the source of accomplishment. I also have much more time to read than I used to have.
    Heal, PZ, and walk forward with professorial aplomb. You’ll look like you know where you’re going and dog only knows that people need to see that.