That’s not how anything works

MGTOWs. They’re what you get if you take an evil MRA and scour out half their brain with ignorance.

A man can be proud of his perfectly lovely testes, which are alive and full of living cells, but it’s just stupid to think a woman’s ovaries are not equivalently full of life. This idea that a “man puts life into the womb” that is otherwise just a dead cave is so Fourth Century BC — the male and female contributions are equally vital. But, you know, even Aristotle thought the woman contributed living matter that was quickened by the organizing principle of the masculine seed, so it isn’t even that sophisticated.

So wrong. But then ol’ @RedBeardHam has to get even more foolish.

Guy. Do you even realize that 50 million sperm die every time you use your fleshlight or blow-up doll or hand?


  1. says

    Also millions of sperm die constantly because they get reabsorbed into the body. They have a shelf life after which they die, one way or another.

    Not that this horrible person is able to comprehend this.

  2. fernando says

    “Do you even realize that 50 million sperm die every time you use your fleshlight or blow-up doll or hand”.
    And go to Hell. Every single one of these 50 million sperm. True.
    Only sex for procreation is acceptable: 1 sperm will fulfill his God-blessed mission, and the other 49.999.999 martyrs will go to Heaven. Yes,thats true: about 99% of the souls in Heaven are sperm souls.

  3. Akira MacKenzie says

    Do you even realize that 50 million sperm die every time you use your fleshlight or blow-up doll or hand?

    I was under the impression that MRA seamen was (Christopher Lee’s voice) “LIQUID GOLD!”

  4. Tinjoe says

    Before reading the article, I thought the title referred to the fact that these men never “go their own way” they just stick around continuing to be (and make the rest of us) miserable.

  5. blf says

    The mildly deranged penguin points out that if the otherwise useless male doesn’t sit on the egg, throughout the winter and without eating, “he” is useless.

  6. Akira MacKenzie says

    Looks like Spanky never left the “He-Man Woman Hater’s Club.” He stay holed up in that old shack, waiting for Alfalfa, Froggy, and Buckwheat to come back, not realizing that they all got over their childish disdain for girls when puberty hit. A sad, sad little man-child. It’d be funny if weren’t so pathetic.

    Ah, what the hell, I’ll laugh anyway! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

  7. Akira MacKenzie says

    …every time you use your fleshlight or blow-up doll or hand?

    I thought that the MGTOW movement disdained masturbation as unmanly?

  8. Saganite, a haunter of demons says

    Let me be pseudo-deep for a second and say: Living is dying.
    We are constantly shedding and absorbing dead cells, from internal and external surfaces, within our organs and bones. Our blood goes to die in our spleen. It’s just a part of living: Parts of us constantly die and are replaced and eventually these processes fail to keep up and we age.
    This is not any more mystical when applied to reproductive cells than when done for the rest of our body.
    Dear dog, how many cells did I murder when I shaved this morning?!

  9. Saganite, a haunter of demons says

    Also: Why did someone randomly add the number to that image? I don’t see any relation to the text or schematics. Is it like a signature or some such?

  10. curbyrdogma says

    “Men Going Their Own Way”? …Buh-bye. Don’t let the door hit you etc. etc. etc. …

  11. karmacat says

    I really wish this man could have a period for just a few years. But then his whining would just be endless and more annoying.

  12. says

    Dear nonexistent gods, how did anyone ever get this stupid?

    I’ve always thought it was the other way around. The fact that people that stupid nevertheless manage to persist against all odds is evidence divine intervention is keeping them alive. How am I to explain their ability to continually avoid walking straight into traffic? Therefore Dog! If there’s one thing we can know it is that, if there really is a God, it LOVES morons.

  13. Nemo says

    @Saganite #15: The “100” there is an emoji which became (or perhaps it was the other way around, I’m not sure) shorthand for “keep(ing) it 100”, i.e. 100%, which in this context means “keeping it real”, i.e. “truthful” (blunt, not “PC”). (Not actual truth, here, but a truthful expression of the poster’s stupidity.)

  14. Akira MacKenzie says

    Mikkel Nif Rasmussen @ 19

    … if there really is a God, it LOVES morons.

    Of course! If the present state of the universe is any indicator, it takes a moron to worship a being that callous and/or incompetent.

  15. Nemo says

    (And by “the poster”, I mean whoever created the image — I don’t think Brett’s that hep.)

  16. slithey tove (twas brillig (stevem)) says


    Every sperm is sacred.
    Every sperm is great.
    If a sperm is wasted,
    God gets quite irate.

    — from The Meaning of Life, Monty Python

  17. blf says

    Every sperm is sacred.
    Every sperm is great.
    If a sperm is wasted,
    God gets quite irate.

    The mildly deranged penguin points out the original was:

    Every penguin is great.
    Every penguin is great!
    If a penguin seems isn’t,
    All penguins are IRATE!

  18. davidc1 says

    Gee ,thanks doc ,never heard of fleshlight ,so i googled it .Now that google search is out there in cyber space for ever and ever .
    Also never heard of MGTOW ,nowt as queer as folk as they say oop north .

  19. leerudolph says

    Now that google search is out there in cyber space for ever and ever.

    That is why God (well, some god), in a rare act of benevolence, made private browser windows. (Of course as Firefox will warn you when you open one, “Private Browsing doesn’t make you anonymous on the Internet. Your employer or Internet service provider can still know what page you visit.” This god wasn’t so good on the omniscience bit. But one must take benevolence when and where one finds it!)

  20. Saganite, a haunter of demons says

    Thanks for that explanation, Nemo! Never seen that before, but I guess that makes some sense. Also looks a bit like a teacher grading you with a red pen and giving you 100 points (out of a hundred), I guess.

  21. says

    I thought that the MGTOW movement disdained masturbation as unmanly?

    What makes you think they’re being honest?
    Their own label is the ultimate misnomer as they aren’t actually “men going their own way” but more accurately “men being kicked out and keeping to bang at the door and yelling that they’re leaving for good, you’ll be sorry when they’re gone”.

  22. lotharloo says

    I’m trying to decide what’s the stupidest thing I read today. This or Jordan Peterson all-meat diet. Hmm so hard to decide….

  23. chrislawson says


    The sperm cell doesn’t really die when it fertilises an ovum: the two cells merge, DNA, cytoplasm and all. Because the ovum is a much bigger cell (it’s visible to the naked eye!), it provides the vast majority of the cytoplasm for the embryo — which is why mitochondria are largely inherited from the mother but occasionally paternal mitochondria will take up the role, especially if the maternal mitochondria are unhealthy.

    But it is true to say that the sperm cell needs the ovum’s cytoplasm to survive, where the ovum doesn’t. (What it does need is fertilisation to stave off cell death, but this is not due to a lack of any kind of vital essence — the ovum has enough of that to kickstart an entire human’s protoplasm.) So this person’s misogynist pseudoscience is completely screwed up both factually and morally.

  24. chrislawson says


    No disrespect intended for Peterson’s extraordinary display, but this MGTOW’s nitwittery is off the charts. It’s the difference between a pond and an ocean. Of stupidity.

  25. says


    Seems like I have outdated ideas. I got my degree in microbiology back in 1992.

    A beautiful idea killed by more research.

  26. nomdeplume says

    There have always been nutters, but are there more now or has the internet just made them more visible?

  27. says

    For people who claim to be “going there own way” and freeing themselves from hypergamous females (/sarc) they do seem to talk ALOT about the womens… #JustSaying #NotReallyMGTOW

  28. wzrd1 says

    As Pauli once sadly said, “That is not only not right; it is not even wrong”.

    But, Pauli said something else that is quite appropriate when speaking with someone of his ilk.
    “What you said was so confused that one could not tell whether it was nonsense or not.”