I must have low testosterone or something

Look at this beautiful cake. I saw it and was immediately impressed –what a nice geode.

Unfortunately, there was a follow up comment from the store that sells this cake.

*At manager’s meeting on Monday*

“Well, once again we’ve underestimated our customer’s ability to see genitals in our baked goods. Let’s put that cute mushroom cake we had planned in the ‘do not make’ file.”

Now we could place the blame on the bakers’ lack of discernment, but I prefer to blame the customers, who clearly need to acquire a deeper appreciation of geology.

Also, as hard as I stare at the cake now, I just don’t see it — it looks nothing like a vagina. Maybe we also need to try harder to educate the public about basic human anatomy.


  1. says

    But PZ, have you checked the response of the store… It’s amazing:

    “Guys, have you seen the mad skills of our cake design team? If we made a vagina cake, you wouldn’t be saying “OMG, that cake is a vagina.” You’d be saying “That vagina is a CAKE?!””

  2. johnniefurious says

    ” I just don’t see it — it looks nothing like a vagina”

    No kidding. Where are the teeth?

  3. Snarki, child of Loki says

    Considering the IQ of the people complaining about the cake, it is surprising that their complaint didn’t include a comment about “play-doh and bacon”.

    Which I wouldn’t want on a cake either. Except maybe the bacon. Because BACON.

  4. rietpluim says

    If my wife’s vagina was filled with sharply edged crystals, I’d be hesitating to put my penis inside it.

  5. komarov says

    Nonsense, all of it. Clearly that is a cake in dire need of renovation. There are major cracks and it’s probably structurally unsound. Unless the owners act immediately that cake will have to be … torn down for the public’s safety. The entire bakery ought to be cordoned off just in case….

  6. gregmusings says

    I know it says things about me but my first thought looking at the photo was, “A geode vagina, how beautiful.”

  7. Callinectes says

    Apparently the crystals mean it cannot be refrigerated. On commenter asked why.

    “Oh boy. How to explain this without you guys and your active imaginations making it nasty? We’ll try. There’s condensation in the fridge and the rocks are sugar. If you put it in there, the inside of that cake will get wet and melt.
    *whispers to team* I think that went well, don’t you?”

  8. kevinkirkpatrick says

    I’ll put my neck out a bit and say that I see the resemblance. At least, a “crude geometric shape” resemblance with the familiar way vulvae are represented in simplified “label where the parts are” human-phsyiology-diagrams. Consider this diagram (not photo, but still potentionally NSFW)

    For the geode, if you tilt your head ever-so-slightly to the left (making the geodic opening run top-to-bottom), then I definitely think the overall shape and coloring bear a strong resemblance to the overall geometry (stripped of fine-grain detail) and coloring of these types of diagrams.

    I also don’t think it’s an unhealthy (or perverse) mindset that lends to this recognition; nor do I think there’s much of a male vs. female driving force here. I invite you to have a look at these kids’ drawings of (respectively) a duck and a pair of scissors:


    Any inclination to smile, perhaps even stifle a small giggle? Is it “perverse” to see something other than a duck and pair of scissors in these pictures?

    That said, there is a HUGE difference in a mindset that can spot and find mild amusement in such “crude geometric structure” resemblances… and a mindset of someone who is offended by, or somehow unable to move past, such spurious resemblances to the extent that they cannot fully appreciate what the thing actually is.

  9. says

    My thoughts:
    Oh, what a pretty stone … Wait that is a CAKE? … So are this sugar stones (German: Kandiszucker)? Because if so: ewww. They are hard and way to sweet. Do not want them in my cake.

    I do not know what this says about me.

  10. unclefrogy says

    I used to be 12 but I got old. it took me a moment to see that it was a cake and not a plaster or ceramic sculpture.

  11. weylguy says

    I also saw it as a beautiful geode, which I used to collect as a kid. I’m 69 now, but never learned about the other thing.

  12. Raucous Indignation says

    I am an experienced man of the world, and I am completed taken aback. That is nothing like any vagina I have ever seen. Whoever thought that was vagina like should see a doctor, although I don’t know if they should see a gynecologist or a mental health professional.

  13. gijoel says

    Having scanned a few vagina I’m pretty sure they don’t have rocks in them. Honestly I wouldn’t have thought it looked even remotely like one until I read this story.

  14. zibble says

    I’m sorry to be so gross, but I can’t get it out of my head that that’s what the vulvas of the Gems in Steven Universe look like.

  15. Azkyroth, B*Cos[F(u)]==Y says

    I’m sorry, I can’t see the resemblance, mostly due to the lack of any parts that you can pull outward and upward to make it look like a jet fighter. :D

    Having scanned a few vagina I’m pretty sure they don’t have rocks in them.

    Despite Gwyneth Paltrow’s best efforts.

  16. photoreceptor says

    Before I read it was a cake I thought it was naturally formed, like the magma had gotten squashed into a very heat-resistant pipe or something. And how big is it? Bite size? Sure is difficult to slice it so everyone gets a similar piece. Or it could just be trompe l’oeil.

  17. drken says

    @gregmusings #5:

    Good, at least I’m not the only one. I have no particular problem with yonic cakes, but I’m not a big fan of cakes that make a bigger priority of looking like things that aren’t cake than being something you could eat. I’d probably just eat the rock sugar piece by piece anyway.