It’s official: I’m old


Let’s not even bother tallying up the chronological years. It’s my birthday, and I’m celebrating by…going to an evening faculty meeting.

I’d say shoot me now, but I don’t think I’m worth the bullet anymore.


  1. jstackpo says

    Aw come on, no more kvetching. Many happy returns.

    I am reminded of the gentleman who came down to breakfast on the occasion of his 45th birthday, and announced to his wife: “Congratulate me, I am now middle-aged!”

    She looked at him and remarked “Ah, go on, how many 90 year old men do you know?”

  2. Athywren - not the moon you're looking for says

    Ah, c’mon. You’re not old until you’re 21 for the 21st time! Going to faculty meetings is what all the cool kids are doing these days, at least, when they’re not logging in to that world wide web thing I’ve been hearing about recently.

  3. moarscienceplz says

    You’re not old until you’re 21 for the 21st time!

    Umm, does that mean 21+21, or 21^2? (or maybe 21^21?)

  4. moarscienceplz says

    Pah, The Bible says Noah lived to 950. If you can’t outlive Ken Ham’s shit-shoveling hero, you’re a wimp!

  5. Athywren - not the moon you're looking for says


    Umm, does that mean 21+21, or 21^2? (or maybe 21^21?)

    21^2. 21^21 is just… excessive. Not even Methuselah lived that long!

  6. Athywren - not the moon you're looking for says

    Holy monkeys, 21^21 really is rather a large number!
    Mind you, I’m sure if I was allowed to push snooze on my death alarm clock, I’d make it at least that long – I need to get my money’s worth out of Kerbal Space Program.

  7. blf says

    Are the Faculty at least buying the first round?

    Well, apparently the cost of the bullet round is an issue, but nonetheless we can all hope they do give him a shot.

  8. nahuati says

    Happy Birthday, PZ. I’m glad you were born. You are making the world a better place!

  9. DonDueed says

    You’re not as old as I am, PZ, and you never will be, so there.

    Happy birthday anyway.

  10. throwaway, butcher of tongues, mauler of metaphor says

    I’ve been reading your blog ever since Dover and I won’t stop until you stop writing. You are one of my role models and I’m grateful to share this span of time with you on this Earth. Many happy returns, PZ.

  11. says

    @#14, PZ Myers:

    Finally got home. Going out for dinner — Mexican. I think I deserve a birthday margarita. You agree, do you not?

    I suspect you deserve a bit more than one, truth be told. (Maybe one per year, like candles?) (Presumably really small ones.) I hope you have a good Mexican place in your area; both the good ones I used to go to around here closed.

  12. Tethys says

    I think I deserve a birthday margarita. You agree, do you not?

    Happy returns! Yes, I concur that you deserve a tasty tequila based beverage. I prefer grapefruit/orange/lime with just a dash of grenadine for color, but margaritas are also quite tasty, and the perfect accompaniment to spicy mexican food. I’m sure the citrus juice makes it healthy.

  13. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    Going out for dinner — Mexican. I think I deserve a birthday margarita. You agree, do you not?

    I concur with whatever you and Mary decide upon.

  14. magistramarla says

    Happy Birthday, PZ!
    You just caught up with my husband, who is six months older than you, and I will catch up with you in another six months.
    1956 and 1957 were very good years.

  15. trurl says

    Last year I got to say:

    I’m not 60, I’m 18 with 42 years of experience. Now I have 43 years of experience.

  16. says

    Old is when your body can’t do the things your ambition still want to do. Keep lowering your expectations, and you’ll never be “old”. ^_^

    I had my own birthday three weeks ago and it was the first time in about 20 years that I celebrated it. For the longest time I avoided birthdays because I wasn’t happy with life. Now I am happy, and I’m enjoying my age (born in the 1960s, won’t say when). Enjoy yours.

  17. whheydt says

    Okay…all you youngsters have had your fun. I’ll be 67 in a couple of weeks. (And as for “men of 90″…two right off, one grandfather died at 94 and a great-grandfather who died at 93 and whose life included being in the cavalry for pretty much the entire Civil Wat.)

  18. says

    It’s still today, out here on the westest coast, so I still get to be on time with my “Happy Birthday, youngster!”

  19. petesh says

    @25: Having turned 67 in late January, I can assure you it’s nothing much to write home about. Last year, my partner threw me a surprise Route 66 party, which was cool — cap, T-shirt, maps and, of course, music. 68 seems fairly dull, but I’m definitely looking forward to 2018.

  20. Saganite, a haunter of demons says

    Old people still do big things. Just think of politicians!

  21. dianne says

    Re men of 90 and older, while researching geneology, my sister cam across a record of an ancestor who died at 92…of trauma in what was described as a “Cherokee attack”. We considered the issue carefully and decided that he almost certainly deserved it.

  22. Intaglio says

    Look at it this way – at least you’re not Rupert Murdoch

    Many Happy Returns and may you remain a scourge for years to come

  23. opposablethumbs says

    Hope you enjoyed the margarita and the meal, PZ! I, um, may have been given a bottle of something nice as a birthday present yesterday … I’m only regretting it a tiny bit today, and I’m sure you were probably wiser in any indulgences.

    May I second the wish that you remain a scourge, an evil squidly overlord and a poopyhead for many years to come.

  24. dianne says

    Who thought an evening faculty meeting was a good idea? I’d suggest saving the bullet for them, but what with Texas’ new gun laws that allow guns on campus, I’m afraid someone will take me literally.

  25. says

    Apart from the faculty meeting, your birthday sounds like a good day. You excoriated a few fools on the internet, educated a fuckton of blog readers, and encouraged us all to go forth with our brains fully engaged.

    To Mexican food and margaritas!

    Happy Birthday, PZ!

  26. Ed Seedhouse says

    At 72 I hope to stick around as long as possible so I can be a burden on younger generations. It’s their turn.

  27. Azkyroth, B*Cos[F(u)]==Y says

    You’re not truly “old” until you become reflexively distrustful and contemptuous of teenagers.

    (Bonus points for lumping 20-somethings in with “teenagers.”)

  28. dianne says

    You’re not truly “old” until you become reflexively distrustful and contemptuous of teenagers.

    Huh. I was old when I was a teenager, but apparently now I’m getting younger: I thought my peers complete and hopeless jerks when I was a teen, but my kid’s peers don’t look so bad. And the only thing I’ve got against millenials is that they’re looking to be this century’s baby boomers and I only hope I live long enough to see them complain about “kids these days” some day.