Comments

  1. birgerjohansson says

    “Dispatches from the culture wars” by Ed Brayton has some juicy examples of far-right cluelessness. Trigger warnings.
    BTW what is the roman numeral for “500”?
    And why are you using the commie arabic-indian numerals? Are you not patriotic enough to use proper anglo-saxon numerals?

  3. Scr... Archivist says

    birgerjohansson @1,

    The Roman numeral for 500 is “D”. For example, you can see “MDCCLXXVI” (1776) on the Great Seal of the United States.

  5. hillaryrettig says

    I hope it’s okay to post a link to my partner’s new TEDx talk. He’s a physics prof (Kalamazoo College) who used simple models to show that:

    1) MASSIVE inequality is the default outcome of any unregulated transactional system.

    2) to restore equality, focus not on tax rates but on how the tax revenues are redistributed. (Here in the US nearly 1/4 of all tax revenues go to the 1% in the form of corporate subsidies, etc., and around 3/4 go to the top 20%.* Which, of course, is maddening, especially given that the wealthy pay low/no tax to start with.)

    Here’s the link:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHsT9nQYX88
    Please view/like/share! Thanks.

    *http://www.nytimes.com/2015/03/18/business/economy/taxes-take-away-but-also-give-back-mostly-to-the-very-rich.html

  7. says

    But hillaryrettig, given that the people benefiting from the system are the ones who are controlling it, how will we ever change it? It’s rigged!

    I say “we” but I’m actually Australian, however, we are following you guys FAST. :(

  8. hillaryrettig says

    Emily – I actually don’t think they have so much control as they or others think. They spent hundreds of milions to try to elect Romney and failed.

    I’m a huge fan of the simple act of voting. Here in the US, the bad people often win by default when the good people don’t vote. Also, a lot of ignorant people who vote against their own interests.

    In Australia, I understand voting is mandatory. I APPROVE! But who is in Australia who is voting in the conservatives?

    This morning on Balloon Juice I read someone’s opinion that racism is the primary reason the US has such a shitty safety net–ignorant, selfish whites are terrified of giving a boost to “underserving” minorities. (Multiple problems with that, including that most benefits go to whites, a lot of benefits go to children, etc.)

    I’m also pretty optimistic because the technology supports social progress. Things look dire now for a lot of reasons, but one reason is that a lot of formerly hidden oppression (like violent cops) is now out in the open. We’re also witnessing the death of a lot of privilege (white, Christian, male, US, etc.) — and it would be unrealistic to see it go down without a fight.

  10. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    So…

    Will we re-introduce ourselves for Lounge 500?

    Some other celebratory idea?

  11. says

    I’ve been trying to think of something I could do to commemorate my hitting 60 (last year, I know, I know). Last night, it came to me. I adopted an owl via the Audubon Society. Whoooooo.

    Happy 500, Horde. That’s a whole lotta words.

  15. says

    Congrats on hitting 500, Lounge Denizens. We may have arrived here through the strength of cheese … and moar cheese.

    In other news, cheese is melting in places like Arizona where summer temps are already running in the triple digits for days. Summer storms on steroids are sweeping parts of the USA. Air quality is so bad in cities not far from me (Salt Lake, for example) that people are cautioned to stay indoors. With good timing, the Environmental Protection Agency issued a new report on climate change.

    […] The report, which was peer-reviewed, estimates that if nothing is done to curb global warming, by 2100, the US will see an additional 12,000 annual deaths related to extreme temperatures in the 49 cities analyzed for the report. In addition, the report projects an increase of 57,000 premature deaths related to poor air quality, annually. The economic costs would be enormous, as well. By 2100, climate inaction will result in:

    $4.2-$7.4 billion in additional road maintenance costs each year.
    $3.1 billion annually in damages to coastal regions due to sea level rise and storm surges.
    $6.6-$11 billion annually in agricultural damages.
    A loss of 230,000-360,000 acres of cold water fish habitat.
    A loss of 34 percent of the US oyster supply and 29 percent of the clam supply.
    $110 billion annually in lost labor due to unsuitable working conditions. […]

    Lots more detail, and some spiffy maps, in the article.

  17. says

    birgerjohansson @1:

    Are you not patriotic enough to use proper anglo-saxon numerals?

    You may want to be more specific. Some people (the Council of Conservative Citizens come to mind) think patriotic means saying ‘anglo-celtic’.

  18. says

    BTW, I was curious-
    Lounge #400 began on February 2, 2013. It took roughly 2 and half years to get to #500. Reading some of the comments in that thread reminded me of some people we don’t see around here any longer.
    (also, got bummed out bc I saw comments I made about dating…sigh…a reminder of my complete inability to meet anyone and date then for any length of time)

  19. opposablethumbs says

    Happy 500, Loungers. Thank you for all the words of support and comfort in times of trouble (not to mention some bloody good advice).
    I am drinking your joint and several health(s) in a Nice Cup of Tea.

  21. hillaryrettig says

    Thanks Brony!

    I will check out cliodynamics. From a brief glance, it makes sense. I once heard a lecture by Joan Slonczewski about creationism, and it’s clear that (here in the US) it upsurges during times of social progress.

    PS – Please “like” and share Jan’s talk!

  22. Dutchgirl says

    For anyone travelling soon: the US consular service has had a hardware malfunction and are not issueing visa and many other travel documents right now. The Bureau of Consular Affairs is in the process of resolving technical problems with our visa systems. Though some progress has been made, biometric data processing has not been fully restored.” How do I know? Because I’m stuck in Holland and cannot fly home until this is resolved. I need a boarding foil because my physical green card expired (yes, my own fault, but I traveled for years without it, the rules changed since my last visit) Anyway, that should have taken 24-48 hours, but now I’m stuck. Rescheduled for friday, but I’ll probably have to bump again, which is great since it costs about $1000 a pop.

  23. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    Just when catching my stride, I have to go and get eye surgery again. This time on th good eye.

    Now I really can’t read anything. It’s only my great familiarity with pharyngula that I can find the comment box at all, and now you’re getting pure, unadulterated typos and general miscommunications.

    TBH, I can’t read more than 1 word in 30 that y’all are writing here, and even then it’s more lily to be someone’ name. So it doesn’t help a whole lot.

    That’s how I’m celebrating Lounge D, anyway. Being completely unable to read the comment in lounge D.

  24. Dreaming of an Atheistic Newtopia says

    Crip Dyke, hope you get well soon. Postoperatory high five?

  25. yazikus says

    Happy 500, Loungers!
    I’m thinking this is going to be a good summer. I had my first panic-free road trip in about three years, it was great. Managed to visit the parents with little to no stress. My little peach tree is looking wonderful, and I hope the peaches will be ripe soon! My summer classes are looking fun, and work is going well too. So yeah, feeling pretty optimistic today, and I hope those good ‘vibes’ will travel far.

  27. says

    I’m only a sometime commenter and I don’t think I’ve ever posted in the Lounge before.

    Anyway, Tony @17 mentioned the Council of Conservative Citizens. Rachel Maddow had a very interesting look at them last night.

  28. Pen says

    hillaryrettig @ 8

    Here in the US, the bad people often win by default when the good people don’t vote. Also, a lot of ignorant people who vote against their own interests.

    After the really upsetting election result in the UK recently, I was wondering about why ‘they’ did it (vote overwhelmingly conservative). I think we may have a situation that’s destabilized to the point that people will vote for even a tiny private advantage (slightly lower taxes) because they’ve lost all faith in the idea of public support systems being extended to themselves in times of need. Without a clear guarantee of collective support, hoarding as much private wealth as you can isn’t such a surprising defensive strategy.

  29. Morgan!? ♥ ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ says

    I’ll take a glass of that bubbly, please. In the good news department, the car MIGHT not be a total loss. I do so hope it can be fixed. The weather has cooled off a bit and the forest fire, although somewhere around 1600 acres, is slowly being contained.
    Cheers to all the wonderful Hordelings. Here is a toast to peace, equality, long life and lack of pain.

  30. says

    While I’m fairly new at commenting on freethoughtblogs, I have been a reader for some time. So I just thought I’d throw in a few random things.

    Hope the Women’s team plays better in the next round of the Cup. But I’m glad they are moving on.
    If SCOTUS does the proper thing in re: same-sex marriage, I think I’m gonna have a celebratory drink. Just cuz I can
    Regarding the terrible shootings over the last several years, I keep going back to the words of the late Bill Hicks: “There’s no connection between having a gun and shooting someone with it, and not having a gun and not shooting someone.” And you’d be a fool and a communist to make one.

  31. Mrdead Inmypocket says

    I’m new. Cutting my chops, thought I’d get in on the lounge. I’m wondering what I can share with you all that might be interesting. Thought I’d share this short film I watched the other night. It touched me, very poignant. I don’t want to ruin it by saying how it affected me. Worth a watch though.

  32. opposablethumbs says

    Crip Dyke, if that’s you typing temporarily (almost) blind, you must be one hell of a touch-typist. Wishing you and your eyes a speedy recovery!

    My respects to returners, occasional droppers-by and new arrivals – hope you stop a while and have a drink (Tony! makes great drinks of every kind).
    There is a pillow fort (maintained and stocked with fortifying biscuits by Anne) for those times when things are Too Much.
    There is also a Questionnaire (rq may come by to administer same): the answers are Vry Imprtnt, definitely right or wrong, and archived with care, but a) nobody can agree on what the answers are and b) nobody can remember where they’re archived. (hint and/or warning: cheese may be involved in some capacity).

  33. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    Hello, Darren VanDusen and Mrdead Inmypocket!

    Mrdead Inmypocket,
    The video is not available, unfortunately.
    Also, when you end your comment with a video link, it embeds. Embedded videos can slow down page opening for people with slow connections, so it would be better if you used tags for videos.
    Example:
    <a href=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yrdtv8QpTkY” >A short film</a>
    gives you:
    A short film

    Since I started off all businesslike, I’ll add instructions for quoting if either of you is unfamiliar with them:
    <blockquote> >While I’m fairly new at commenting on freethoughtblogs, I have been a reader for some time. So I just thought I’d throw in a few random things.</a>
    gives you:

    While I’m fairly new at commenting on freethoughtblogs, I have been a reader for some time. So I just thought I’d throw in a few random things.

    Others will come along with complimentary drinks and a questionnaire. I’m just handing out the manuals.

  34. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    Has anyone seen The Mellow Monkey lately?

  35. says

    Rachel Maddow’s analysis of the Council of Conservative Citizens history, and their present connections to Republican politicians, was mentioned up-thread.

    Here’s a link: http://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow/watch/racist-group-lurks-behind-thin-political-veil-469691971967

    The segment begins with an update on the polling stats of Republican candidates for president, then to Haley Barbour. At about 5:00 minutes, the segment turns to a discussion of the CCC, and of Haley Barbour’s tight relationship with the CCC.

    Maddox’s summary is excellent. We have Haley Barbour praising racists in 2010 when Barbour was considering running for president. This is very recent history.

  36. Pen says

    The Affordable Care Act is helping across all income and ethnic groups, some more than others.

    By poverty

    The number of uninsured poor adult Americans – 18 to 64 years old – dropped to 32.3% from 39.3%.
    The number of uninsured near-poor Americans dropped to 30.9% from 38.5%.
    The number of uninsured not-poor Americans dropped to 8.9% from 11.4%.

    By race

    The number of uninsured black Americans dropped to 13.5% from 18.9%.
    The number of uninsured Hispanic Americans dropped to 25.2% from 30.3%.
    The number of uninsured Asian Americans dropped to 10.6% from 13.8%.
    The number of uninsured white Americans dropped to 9.8% from 12.1%.

    The biggest failure of the act is inherent to the way it’s set up: the most vulnerable are still left high and dry.

    There was one group of people who retained a high uninsured rate: the unemployed. More than 38% of unemployed American adults were uninsured while just 14.9% of those employed were.

    Still, something to celebrate.

  37. says

    Ah, I see we have newbies in the Lounge. Feel free to belly up to the bar, Darren VanDusen and Mrdead Inmypocket. You too, Tabby Lavalamp (even though you’re not new around Pharyngula, you’re new to the Lounge). I’m serving the finest drinks of your choice, made just how you like them. I can serve them with or without alcohol. Currently I’m working on a blueberry mojito.
    Welcome to the Lounge all.
    Normally rq would post the questionnaire mentioned by opposablethumbs @32, but ISTR (I Seem To Recall) that she said she’d be offline for a few days, sooooo…
    Please share your thoughts on the following:
    1) Cheese
    2) Peas
    3) Horses
    4) Miracle Whip

    Now, when rq handles the questionnaire, she insists that there are no correct answers, but since I’m filling in for her, I’ll mention that there are correct ones. We just haven’t figured out what they are. We’re still debating whether or not peas are good (not peace). I think they make fine weapons when dipped in SPAM juice and hurled through a straw. Others think they’re fine for feeding to animals. Still others think they are fit for human consumption (obviously this group is wrong :P ). So you can see how divided we are in here. The schisms run deep. The rifts canyon-like.

  38. says

    Pen @37:

    There was one group of people who retained a high uninsured rate: the unemployed. More than 38% of unemployed American adults were uninsured while just 14.9% of those employed were.

    Yeah, I was worried last year when I was unemployed for 4 months. What would happen if I had to visit the hospital. Given my present unemployment, I’m worried about that again.

  40. McC2lhu is rarer than fish with knees. says

    A 500 EURO NOTE??? Who the hell is the Rockefeller that got his hands on wunna dem? I have to scrounge change from the sidewalk and someone is flashing the big bills around like everyone has one.

  42. Caroline says

    Hi Everyone, I see you all and am sending warm regards all around. Bartender ! I could use a cup of courage please. I typed a long thing out a couple of days ago and it disappeared , so I will give the short version. I was too sick(caught a cold) that I missed my last appointment with therapist. That was a relief to me so I must still be feeling pretty hurt and rejected as I normally look forward to going, so now what? I looked online and found a transgender support system in my county! Yay. It has a therapist led closed support group and an open, peer led support group. I felt so relieved and lucky as shit. then I called on Monday first thing, the machine tells me someone will be contacting me in the next 5 business days, so I am thrilled to have support. Man leaves message on my phone with number this a.m. and I am doing ‘I am avoiding this’ big time. ? Any insight, suggestions? yikes

  43. says

    Waves at Dalillama! Glad your computer problems are largely a thing of the past.

    ****

    Caroline @42:
    What type of liquid courage are you seeking? If it involves coffee, I recommend my famous Liquid Courage Double Espresso Chocolate shot:
    1 oz Kahlua, Tia Maria, or Kamora
    1 oz of Bailey’s Irish Cream
    1.5 oz of Van Gogh double espresso vodka
    .5 oz of Godiva White chocolate liquor

    This can be served as a shot or on the rocks. If on the rocks, I recommend a bit of milk or half-and-half, bc it will be strong to sip on. You can also have it served hot, like coffee. I can make it into a martini and drizzle chocolate syrup on the rim of the glass along with chocolate and espresso bean shavings. I may even have one of those nifty chocolate swirl sticks you find at espresso places.

    As for your nervousness, does it stem from the possibility of speaking to someone? If so, I wonder if you could call them back, mention this, and ask if they have a website with FAQ page that can answer any questions you have, or perhaps they would be willing to communicate with you via email.

    Btw, I’m quite happy you’ve found a support group!

  44. Caroline says

    Thanks Tony, I wrote down the recipe and it sounds good. I am not afraid of talking I just feel like I will have to EXPLAIN myself again and wonder if I will get a no, sorry, we can’t help, we are full, not for you. I think I need to plan a little script, he’s prob only going to give me information. My anxiety wheel is moving and that is when the blurts and splurts and too-fast talking happen. THAT’S why I can’t take a coffee right now. Sauza Blonco on shaved ice sounds nice:) I have just never felt I belong anywhere and my first response is to assume it is true.. Well I better make the call and find out if this group is right for me instead of expecting the worst. Thank you Tony.

  45. Mrdead Inmypocket says

    @Beatrice #33
    Thank you much for the information and friendly welcome. Greatly appreciated!

  46. Lyn M: Totally Knows What This Nym Means says

    Hello folks!

    Glad to see new nyms, because that means we will be refreshed with new points of view and new ideas. Glad to see familiar nyms to continue chatting.

    *Ahem* I want to thank all of you for arranging the 500 Lounge on my birthday. Very thoughtful!

    Cheers everyone!

  48. thunk: Bulba 9000! says

    Hi everyone!

    Going through a period of anxiety right now… probably because there’s nothing to do in summer. I should get out more. Luckily, I will, as I’m going on a vacation soon. Fun!

    500 euro bills:
    I too am not sure why the Eurozone issues them. They are mainly used for criminal activity (drug smuggling etc.) whose profits one can’t simply transfer or keep electronically without getting caught. The large denomination makes it a lot easier for criminals to keep their loot around– $1 million in US currency takes up 10 kilograms and a large briefcase. The same amount in Euros is barely 2 kg- a lot easier to smuggle through checkpoints and the like. From what I remember, the large notes are still issued mainly because of Germany’s relatively cash-centric economy. It’s really the direct successor to the 1000 D-Marks (Likewise for the 1 and 2 cent coins). Germoney sets the rules, everyone else has to follow them.

  50. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    Nice that the 500th Lounge is on the same day the Redhead and were married 40+ years ago. Been running around getting cake, flowers, card, bread and lunch meat (for me), and a specials menu. Later, go get the order from the restaurant for our dinner, then feed the Redhead. Meanwhile, test out the new keyboard (springy), and get her knitting shows off the DVR. Her parents call in about thirty minutes for their weekly phone call, so I need to take care of certain business before then. Then I can sit down and eat my dinner in relative peace.

  53. Morgan!? ♥ ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ says

    Happy B’day, Lyn M!
    Happy 40+ years anniversary, Nerd and Redhead!

  54. Caroline says

    Thanks Tony, I made it and I will now get another call which I already decided I will take and hear. The person on the phone was very kind and said I could call them anytime if I just needed to talk. The closed group therapist is the next step. They also informed me of a 3 day conference at our local university this October, so how cool is that? I follow this thread a lot more now and realize it moves faster than I do. I might not be able to keep up for writing and stuff but I really like the atmosphere, it’s a great little space.

  56. says

    Nerd – Happy anniversary!

    Lyn M – Happy birthday!

    Caroline – I hope everything goes well for you.

  57. voyager says

    I am a long time lurker and occasional, but infrequent commenter. I don’t say much because all of you seem to say it so much more eloquently. I have screwed up my courage (barkeep an ice cube smothered with scotch please) to say Happy 500th.

  58. says

    voyager @57:
    Welcome to the Lounge. I see you like your scotch on the rock (singular), so I’ll try to find a moderately sized one. Are you looking for Dewars, Balvenie, Johnny Walker Black/Blue/Green/Red/Gold, Glenfiddich, Glenlivet, J&B, or Chivas?
    Glad you decided to delurk.
    If you’re up for it, feel free to share your thoughts on the questionnaire @37.

  59. chigau (違う) says

    Welcome in NewLoungers.
    Welcome back OldLoungers!
    Happy Birthdays Anniversaries, as needed!
    I’m making pizza, open your USBs!

  60. F.O. says

    @Emily Vicendese #7
    I live in Australia and I joined the Greens.
    Why? Because the parties are where the decisions are made, and where a single citizen can make most of the difference.

    It’s false that we the people don’t have enough power.
    It takes effort however.

    Become active.
    Join a party (you can try to steer Labour your way if the Greens are not your cup of tea) or an activist organization.
    Your effort WILL make a difference.
    Get your country back.

    @Everybody else: Happy 500! ^_^

  61. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    Happy birthday, Lyn M!
    Happy anniversary Nerd and The Redhead! (sounds like a band name)

    Welcome, new folks I haven’t say Hello! to yet.

    chigau,
    It’s a bit early for pizza but what the hell, I’ll take some.

    .. and now off to work. I’ll ask about this plant I’ve used for to-work salad when I come back. I have no idea what it’s called in English.

  62. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    ^haven’t said

    Oh, and happy 500th everyone!

  63. chigau (違う) says

    Beatrice
    Cold pizza for breakfast is almost better than fresh from the oven.
    Combined with the appropriate tea, of course.

  64. says

    Well, here’s some *good* news from a surprising place-
    An ultra-conservative judge just ruled against religious employers and affirmed the right of women to have birth control:

    Judge Jerry Smith is a deeply conservative judge. He once voted to allow a man to be executed despite the fact that the man’s lawyer slept through much of his trial. He’s a reliable vote against abortion rights. And he once described feminists as a “gaggle of outcasts, misfits and rejects.”
    So when Judge Smith writes an opinion protecting women’s access to birth control, even when their employer objects to contraception on religious grounds, that’s a very big deal.
    East Texas Baptist University v. Burwell is a consolidated batch of cases, handed down on Monday, involving religious employers who object to some or all forms of birth control. These employers are entitled to an accommodation exempting them from federal rules requiring them to offer birth control coverage to their employees. Most of them may invoke this accommodation simply by filling out a form or otherwise informing the federal government of their objection and naming the company that administers their employer health plan. At this point, the government works separately with that company to ensure that the religious employer’s workers receive contraception coverage through a separate health plan.
    […]
    The crux of Smith’s analysis is that the plaintiffs in these cases object to birth control, but nothing in the law requires these plaintiffs to do anything whatsoever involving birth control. Rather, their only obligation, if they do not wish to cover birth control, is to fill out a form or send a brief letter to the federal government — and neither of those things are contraception.
    “Although the plaintiffs have identified several acts that offend their religious beliefs, the acts they are required to perform do not include providing or facilitating access to contraceptives,” Smith explains. “Instead, the acts that violate their faith are those of third parties.” Specifically, the plaintiffs object to the federal government working with an insurance administrator to provide contraception to certain workers. But the law does not “entitle them to block third parties from engaging in conduct with which they disagree.”
    Indeed, Smith writes, if the plaintiffs in these cases were to prevail, it could lead to absurd challenges to basic government functions. “Perhaps an applicant for Social Security disability benefits disapproves of working on Sundays and is unwilling to assist others in doing so,” Smith explains. “He could challenge a requirement that he use a form to apply because the Social Security Administration might process it on a Sunday. Or maybe a pacifist refuses to complete a form to indicate his beliefs because that information would enable the Selective Service to locate eligible draftees more quickly. The possibilities are endless, but we doubt Congress, in enacting RFRA, intended for them to be.

    ****

    In other news, I just put up a blog post on the origins of LGBT Pride celebrations in the United States. Going into the post, I knew only the broad aspects of the Stonewall Uprising. I didn’t know the details, I’m embarrassed to say. Now, not only do I have a much better idea of what occurred during that week beginning on June 28, 1969, I also know of previous events that helped pave the way for LGBT rights.
    Cooper Do-Nuts Riot.
    Compton’s Cafeteria Riot.
    The first lesbian and gay protest in front of the White House.
    Julius’ Bar ‘Sip-In’.

    I also tried to lay out the reasons why LGBT people celebrate Pride, when it occurs, why heterosexual and cisgender people do not need Pride celebrations and more. I’m hoping it can be a handy resource for people.

  65. says

    Good morning
    I use that term loosely. My sister texted me that my aunt is really in a bad shape. They are saying that unlessher condition improves over the next two days there’s nothing they can do anymore. Fuck cancer.

    Nerd
    Happy aniversary to you and the Redhead

    Caroline
    Yay for support groups. I really hope you find some real support.
    Maybe wrote yout therapist a letter? I know this is so hard to do, they’re in a position of power, you desperatly need their help and you’re afraid to make them angry, so you don’t say shit.
    *gentle hugs offered*

    Welcome new folks!

    Happy Birthday, Lyn

    thunk

    From what I remember, the large notes are still issued mainly because of Germany’s relatively cash-centric economy.

    Which is bollocks because normal folks hardly ever see them. The ATM distributes 50€ bills and smaller. And I’m saying that as one of those cash-centric Germans*. If you need to pay something where 50€ bills would become a bother, you pay with plastic. Because it’s stupid to carry that much cash around. When the kids wanted to see a 100€ bill, we had to go to the bank and specifically ask for one.

    *Which is, btw, not a bad thing. Studies show that you spend less if you pay with cash. Somehow our brains don’t consider digital numbers to be that real. Probably explains why governments can’t handle billions.

  66. opposablethumbs says

    Happy Circumnavigation of the Sun day, Lyn M!
    Happy Anniversary, Nerd and the Redhead! According to my recent click, you get to wear rubies – I guess red should suit the Redhead :-) (I don’t know how well rubies go with your hair colour, Nerd ;-) (and yes, I do remember what your hair colour is)

    Many many happy returns to you all.

    Giliell, I am truly sorry. The time-frame for my dearest friend would seem to be similarish; I leave for hir town the day after tomorrow.
    Friend-humour: xe got hir sibling to type the email, as typing is no longer feasible, but wanted to share with us the funniest bit of email spam to arrive in hir inbox yesterday – an advert offering 20% off funeral costs on a 20-year plan. Hilarity ensued, plus the suggestion that xe’d take it as long as the 20 years bit was guaranteed.
    Hugs to you, Giliell, it hurts a lot :-(

    Caroline, that sounds promising – I’m glad they were helpful, and I hope some or several of those things prove really supportive.

    My respects to the Loungers, and indeed the Horde.

  67. bassmike says

    Happy Birthday Lyn M and Happy Anniversary Nerd.

    Happy 500th lounge to everyone else!

  68. F.O. says

    It seems like Obama is taking a very strong position on gun reform: http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2015/jun/21/obama-gun-control-debate-twitter
    Hope it gains some momentum.
    You won’t believe this, but for some reason there is plenty of non-US morons (at least in Italy and Australia) who think that we should do guns like the US.

    @hillaryrettig #5
    I had a look around but I couldn’t find any details on the algorithm used by your husband.
    Is the code or a publication available anywhere?

    @Tony: reading your article. I had no idea that the LGBT movement gained cohesion so suddenly.
    This particularly struck me: The police […] checking to see if patrons’ gender presentation matched their ID’s.
    Jesus rollerblading Christ.
    Anyway. Interesting read.

    Is writing “Why does it mean to have Pride?” intended?

  69. bassmike says

    I don’t get this kind of ‘badge of honour’ thing that MRA/Slymepitter/etc have with regard to posting at Pharyngula.

    I know there are plenty of websites whose views I despise. I simply avoid them rather than looking for some satisfaction in being ridiculed and subsequently banned. It’s beyond me.

  70. gobi's sockpuppet's meatpuppet says

    Hello Lounge 500!

    This is an eye opener:

    http://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-06-24/catholic-church-attacks-businesses-over-gay-marriage-support/6570082

    The Catholic Church in Australia is trying intimidation tactics against businesses supporting marriage equality.

    “For corporations to speak on such issues… is indeed overstepping their purpose and it is to be strongly resisted.”

    “You may be aware that the Catholic Archdiocese of Sydney is a significant user of goods and services from many corporations, both local and international,”

    I mean… Wow. It’s a bit: ” nice business guvna, be a shame if somfing ‘appened to it “

  71. thunk: Bulba 9000! says

    Giliell:

    Which is bollocks because normal folks hardly ever see them. The ATM distributes 50€ bills and smaller. And I’m saying that as one of those cash-centric Germans*. If you need to pay something where 50€ bills would become a bother, you pay with plastic. Because it’s stupid to carry that much cash around. When the kids wanted to see a 100€ bill, we had to go to the bank and specifically ask for one.

    Oh, okay. When I was in Austria last time, I did get 100€ bills out of the ATM, but evidently the facts on the ground are also against large bills. Which means they make a lot less sense now.

  72. birgerjohansson says

    Miscellaneous news:
    .
    Claiming benefits should be like base jumping, says David Cameron http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/claiming-benefits-should-be-like-base-jumping-says-cameron-2015062399513 The prime minister said the welfare system ‘was like a merry-go-round’ when it should really feel like hurtling towards the earth at a 120 miles per hour, praying to god that your parachute opens
    .
    Glastonbury glamping zone has machine gun turrets to keep out hippies
    http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/arts-entertainment/glastonbury-glamping-zone-has-machine-gun-turrets-to-keep-out-hippies-2015062499542
    .
    Islamic State launches Comparethejihad.com
    http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2015/06/23/islamic-state-launches-comparethejihad-com/
    Would-be-western-warriors can use the website’s self-selector tool to choose from a range of mindsets. The entry level “bored-petty-criminal-turned-self-righteous-nutter-with-gun” is most cost effective, moving up to the ”good-student-failed-to-get-a-girlfriend-and-has-gone-“I-don’t-like-Mondays”-on-the-western-world’s-ass”. At the top end of the scale is the exclusive “If-I-can’t-be-the-next-Simon-Cowell-I’m-gonna-be-the-next-fucking-Caliph”, with only two known customers.
    .
    God impregnates fish http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2015/06/02/god-impregnates-fish/

  73. echidna says

    Just checking in to say Hi!
    Happy Birthday Lyn, Happy Anniversary Nerd. I hope you and the Redhead have a good day.

  75. Pen says

    Tony @38 –

    Given my present unemployment, I’m worried about that again.

    I really hope you find something more lucrative than this gig very soon.

    You know what’s next in the world of privatisation lunacy? Insurance to pay our health insurance during non-earning periods.

  76. Pen says

    From the annals of casual racism (aka a white American friend who was nearly in tears when he learned about Dylann Roof, but is nevertheless a little at sea on some of the finer details).

    A new sculpture has appeared in the local park:

    WAF: Oh look, they’ve put up a statue of Trevor Martin.
    Me: You mean Trayvon?

    We examine the statue which is of a fairly solidly built black man in his 30s at least, staring at his cell phone. Take my word for it, he does not resemble Trayvon Martin in any way whatsoever. Since he doesn’t look like anyone else famous that I know of, perhaps he is a generic Londoner.

    Me: That does not look like Trayvon Martin.
    WAF: Sure it does! Trayvon Martin was black wasn’t he?

    Sigh!

  77. birgerjohansson says

    Infodump (good news this time):

    Emphasize employee well-being as much as productivity, says study
    http://phys.org/news/2015-06-emphasize-employee-well-being-productivity.html
    Workplaces that value employees’ safety and well-being as much as company productivity yield the greatest rewards, according to a study done by researchers at Colorado State University and the Colorado School of Public Health.
    .
    Asian mushroom extract shows promise as treatment for obesity and its ills http://medicalxpress.com/news/2015-06-asian-mushroom-treatment-obesity-ills.html
    The mushroom, Ganoderma lucidum (known in China as lingzhi, and in Japan as reishi or mannentake), appears to work by correcting an unhealthy mix of microorganisms that colonized the guts of mice made obese by a diet of high-fat chow.
    .
    A national trauma has been partially resolved!
    “Swedish police recover stolen strawberry haul” http://www.thelocal.se/20150622/swedish-police-recover-stolen-strawberry-haul
    .
    Latinos love Donald Trump so mucho they want to fill him up with candy and beat him with a stick http://www.rawstory.com/2015/06/latinos-love-donald-trump-so-mucho-they-want-to-fill-him-up-with-candy-and-beat-him-with-a-stick/

  79. says

    So Tony @37 posted a questionnaire…

    Please share your thoughts on the following:
    1) Cheese
    2) Peas
    3) Horses
    4) Miracle Whip

    1) I hate the texture so I generally only have “cheese product”.
    2) Delicious!
    3) I wouldn’t be adverse to trying it if it was available option on the menu. (This was jokey, but at the same time I’m quite serious.)
    4) I do enjoy it on a sandwich.

    Now that answered, I just checked out the #ftbullies hashtag on Twitter because I’m shocked people still use it, and oooooooh, I really don’t understand how their minds work. The caricatures they have of “SJWs” are so removed from anything resembling reality that it’s hard to believe that any of them are taken seriously in any aspect of their lives.

  80. says

    The good, the bad and the mixed news:

    The good: My aunt is better and there’s some hope. Apparently the chemo fucked with a preexisting condition which made her liver go crazy and caused a damm in her kidneys. Don’t ask me how they call that in English. Which means that her body slowly self-poisoned, so now they can do something to make the pee flow again so she should be better in a few days.

    The bad: The little one is sick again. Every day during the afternoon. Never in the morning. Are there viruses that can read the clock? So I made an appointment for bloodworks on Monday.

    The mixed: The woman who coplained bout the school and the teachers and everybody has apparently taken issue with me, and that even after I consciously kept my mouth shut so I wouldn’t take out my bad mood on a convenient idiot. Probably a case of “if you’re not with me you’re against me. And then she wanted to go to the ministry of education. And then she said it was all a joke. See me laughing.

  81. voyager says

    Thanks Tony. Since you ask it’s Dewars for me. As for the quiz:
    1) Cheese elevates any food from ho hum to delicious. Need I say more than French Onion Soup or Lasagna. Good cheese is hard to find though
    2) Peas are good to eat and also make a great ice pack when frozen.
    3) Horses. The only horse I know wears a hat and pulls tourists in a carriage through our village. She seems nice. If you are asking about eating horses, though, I think I will stick with cows.
    4) Miracle Whip. What is there to say except delicious. I prefer it to ‘real’ mayonnaise, which I find blobby and boring. The texture of Miracle Whip is also blobby and a bit gross, but it at least it packs a punch of vinegar.

  83. says

    500? Seems like a good milestone with which to make first attempts at a slightly more regular presence within these hallowed halls! Might I also be allowed to offer assorted felicitations to those reaching (or having recently reached) celebratory milestones and my unconditional support to those who find themselves in more trying circumstances?

    Tony! You wouldn’t happen to have a bottle of Glen Garioch stashed under the bar there, would you? Also, in response to the posted questionnaire up @37, I present my considered opinion:

    1. I always find that you can’t go far wrong with a good strong English Cheddar, especially if it’s started to crystallise slightly.
    2. Peas. One of the few things that make me consider my non-belief in supernatural agents of evil.
    3. Aside from the obvious memes that immediately spring to mind (damn you I Love Horses! *shakes fist*), I will admit to having very few thoughts on the creatures. A noble beast, no doubt, but my contact with and knowledge thereof leaves me in no fit place to comment further. TL;DR They’re alright, I guess *shrugs*
    4. Being a Britisher, I’ve not had the (dubious?) pleasure of sampling Miracle Whip. A brief foray into the depths of google has lead me to believe that it’s something akin to Salad Cream? If so, it can liven up a bland mass produced, plastic cheese type sandwich summin lovely!

    I now throw myself upon the mercy of the Horse Horde!

  84. says

    Congrats to Tony on the blog post about origins of the origins of LGBT Pride celebrations. Well-written and informative.

    A big “howdy” and welcome to the new visitors to the Lounge. The “howdy” may sound like a cliché, but people in my neck of the wild west actually use it as a greeting.

    Congrats to Nerd and the Redhead for timing their long ago wedding to match up with the 500th chapter of this endless thread.

    I want Tony’s drinks that include chocolate. Sounds delicious.

  86. says

    Repeat of link to Tony’s blog:
    https://queershoop.wordpress.com/2015/06/23/any-questions-about-lgbt-pride/

    Excerpt:

    For my part, I not only have no problem with non-LGBT people attending Pride events, parades, or marches, I welcome it! I know a great many allies attend Pride celebrations to show their support for their lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender friends and/or family, and I think that’s a wonderful way to show their love and desire for an inclusive society. Others may feel differently. Regardless, if an event takes place in a public location, all members of the public are able to attend (this applies to the United States-I am unsure of other countries).

    I liked the call for inclusiveness.

  88. says

    More hugs for Giliell. Chemo and cancer are bad news buddies. My mother went through that.

    More conga rats for those that earned them.

    Speaking of white people who don’t understand (Pen @76), Ann Coulter said some stupid stuff:

    Conservative firebrand Ann Coulter lashed out at South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley (R), who recently called for the removal of the Confederate battle flag from the state Capitol. Rather than respond to the Republican governor’s message, Coulter dismissed Haley as “an immigrant” who “does not understand America’s history.” […]

    http://mediamatters.org/blog/2015/06/23/ann-coulter-attacks-gov-nikki-haley-as-an-immig/204115

  90. says

    Regarding my comment #88, Governor Nikki Haley was born in South Carolina. She is not an immigrant. I think Ann Coulter hates every one who doesn’t look like her.

    Nice to see that the anti-Confederate flag movement has reached Alabama, with good effect.

    On the order of Gov. Robert Bentley, the Confederate battle flag which stands at the foot of the confederate memorial on the state Capitol grounds was taken down this morning.

    Two workers came out of the Capitol building about 8:20 a.m. and with no fanfare quickly and quietly took the flag down. They declined to answer questions.

  91. says

    Giliell @65:
    I’m sorry to hear about your aunt. I hope her condition improves asap.

    ****

    F.O. @68:

    @Tony: reading your article. I had no idea that the LGBT movement gained cohesion so suddenly.

    Nor did I. I learned a lot writing that.

    Is writing “Why does it mean to have Pride?” intended?

    No, it was supposed to read ‘What does it mean to have Pride?’
    Thanks for mentioning that. It has been fixed.

    ****
    bassmike @69:

    I don’t get this kind of ‘badge of honour’ thing that MRA/Slymepitter/etc have with regard to posting at Pharyngula.
    I know there are plenty of websites whose views I despise. I simply avoid them rather than looking for some satisfaction in being ridiculed and subsequently banned. It’s beyond me.

    There’s probably some type of logic to it, but I’ve never been terribly interested in trying to put myself in the same headspace many of those types are in an attempt to find out. Come to think of it, I wonder if this is something that Brony has tried. He seems to like exploring conflicts and the reasons people act in some ways (apologies if I’m wrong on this Brony).

    ****
    Pen @76:
    Yup. It was Trayvon, bc all black people look alike. I wonder if your friend would have ever gotten around to saying that.

    ****

    voyager @81:

    Thanks Tony. Since you ask it’s Dewars for me. As for the quiz:
    1) Cheese elevates any food from ho hum to delicious. Need I say more than French Onion Soup or Lasagna. Good cheese is hard to find though

    Nope. No more need be said. Though I’m curious-do either of those pair well with Dewars?
    (I’m not a Scotch guy)

    ****

    Wrath Panda @83:
    Welcome to the Lounge!

    Tony! You wouldn’t happen to have a bottle of Glen Garioch stashed under the bar there, would you?

    ::checks under the bar, spends much time getting lost in all the booze and almost forgets which product is being sought…Aha! There it is::
    Yup, we have some!

    2. Peas. One of the few things that make me consider my non-belief in supernatural agents of evil.

    Ah, the only correct answer (in my book).

  92. says

    Would anyone mind a little advice on something specific regarding my resume? I’ve tried before but I may have been too “Oh god my life sucks!” and less focused on something managable. I’m trying to come up with a good objective statement that gives a good eye-catching display of my intentions while making the person looking at my resume feel better about my negatives.

    Difficulty level
    Due to a combination of the economy crashing in 2008-2009, an adult diagnosis of ADHD and Tourette’s Syndrome, and the symptoms that led me to seek a diagnosis, my employment after I earned my Masters degree in Cell and Molecular Biology probably looks concerning. (I took the Master’s because I had no idea how to figure out TS and ADHD and do a 80-100 hour a week post-doctoral position).
    *I have not had a job in the biological sciences since I graduated in 2009 despite putting out a lot of resumes (I got one interview).
    *I took a job as a substitute teacher for 2.5 years while attempting to retrain as a public school science teacher. I needed to do SOMETHING, and I questioned my very ability to do science anymore because of everything. I had to quit due to clinical depression and likely PTSD.
    *I’ve been unemployed since then, but I have put out a lot more resumes (and got one interview).
    My positive is that I have a pretty strong record of good work in fantastic labs under respected people until that point.
    I think this looks pretty bad, but a general objective statement seems more approachable. Unfortunately I’m so negative about all of this that my motivation to think creatively about it is shot. I need something that somehow gets across that I want to get back into science, I miss it and want to learn anything I need to be a credit to any team I work with.
    Any suggestions?

    @Caroline 42, 44
    I think that some nervousness related to being social about trans issues would be normal given the state of society. It’s unfortunate, but I am happy that you found a support system. The “5 days” thing makes me think that they try to help everyone, but they have limited resources so it might be a bit. Avoiding the caffeine might be a good idea, it tends to worsen anxiety in some people. I reduced it on my psychologist’s advice and that was part of getting over my anxiety attacks.

    @thunk 48
    Got any hobbies?
    @coreyschlueter 49
    That was a very encouraging article. We will rout the bigots yet!

    @Lyn M
    Happy belated birthday!

    @Nerd of Redhead
    Happy belated anniversary!

    @Gililell 65
    I hope everything goes as well as can be expected. Seconding fuck cancer.

    @bassmike 69
    I think that we are witnessing authoritarian assholes being concentrated into communities because fewer and fewer people will have them. As a result everyone’s local brand is feeling “attacked” like it’s a “witch hunt”. Since they are people with more aggressive dominance instincts and their views of reality are crap they are choosing social conflict.

    Fortunately in many places they are having to deal with one another (check out the “GamerGhazi” subreddit for schadenfreude). Since they have beliefs and behaviors that are toxic to community in a general sense the ones that are salvageable will get an education. What happens with the remainder I am unsure of, but a concentrated mass of rapists, racists, pedophiles and worse will not likely end well.

  93. says

    @Tony

    Come to think of it, I wonder if this is something that Brony has tried. He seems to like exploring conflicts and the reasons people act in some ways (apologies if I’m wrong on this Brony).

    You are correct. I in fact try to shape what I do with the eventual aim of stealing the culture right out from under people with such beliefs and behaviors and showing people why they are bad things to tolerate while being brutally honest about it.

    I’m in a strange place where I am discovering that my natural aptitudes might be related to social organization and social conflict, which I have no idea how to fold into my career history. I’m not even sure what to do with those aptitudes other than figure out how to be that morally and ethically. Other than helping out with social conflicts around here I don’t even know if I can do anything with that career wise. It’s more like one of those things about ourselves we tend to want to forget about.

  94. rq says

    It rained, and it rained, and then it rained some more. And you know what it did after that? IT RAINED! Did I mention this was an outdoor event?
    In any case, I’m back, didn’t drown in the field, didn’t fall into the river (during the Post-Dawn Hike In Traditional Skirts to See It [The River]), met an extraordinary person (and by ‘extraordinary’ I mean ‘with progressive values rarely seen in individuals of my acquaintance here’) and I’m very glad for that. TheatreFriend (who was our main contact with Host Family) said some nice things about me and I was surprised to realize that he’s actually really glad we (and our families) are friends and maintain contact. That was nice. Kids had a blast, Husband seems blearily satisfied, and Mum had a really good time, too.
    Oh, and it rained.
    ♥ to Loungers, old and new, *hugs* *higs* *bubbly* and for now I’ll have just a coffee, please. Hangovers just ain’t what they used to be, back in the day.

  95. says

    Whole Foods is systematically ripping off its customers:

    The investigation looked at products that are weighed and labeled and found a “systematic problem” whereby customers were routinely overcharged for things like nuts, snack foods, poultry and other grocery products.

    Eight packages of chicken tenders—priced at $9.99 per pound—were inaccurately priced and labeled to the tune of a $4.13 overcharge to the customer per package, a store profit of $33.04 for the set. DCA says one package was overpriced as much as $4.85.

    “Additionally, 89 percent of the packages tested did not meet the federal standard for the maximum amount that an individual package can deviate from the actual weight, which is set by the U.S. Department of Commerce.”

    Last year, the company was fined nearly $800,000 in California for not deducting tare weight, selling less than the weight on products sold by the pound and other violations. Not to be outdone by our neighbors to the West, “our inspectors tell me this is the worst case of mislabeling they have seen in their careers, which DCA and New Yorkers will not tolerate,” according to DCA Commissioner Julie Menin.

    http://gothamist.com/2015/06/24/whole_foods_ripoff.php

    Go get them, New Yorkers!

    BTW, Whole Foods CEO, John Mackey thinks Obamacare is “fascism” and he thinks the push to address climate change is likely bogus. A guy like that is also ripping off the customers of his huge corporation.

  96. says

    We already know that privatization of public school systems does little good [some short-term improvements, uneven results all round], and often does harm. We know that, but the Republican Party in the USA doesn’t know that. Republican politicians are still busily pushing all kinds of privatization schemes, especially in states where Republicans control the legislative bodies and the governorship.

    Sweden ran an experiment that proves Republicans are wrong on this issue. Maybe we can add this new information to all of the previous studies and make some inroads when it comes to education policy.

    In 1992, the normally socialist democratic Sweden implemented a series of school reforms that would be the wet dream of most conservatives. Vouchers were issued to parents to send their children to any schools around the country, private or public. Companies were allowed to start for-profit schools. Private equity firms ran hundreds of schools. […]

    Results, a summary:

    Test scores fell consistently.

    Social stratification and ethic/immigrant segregation grew.

    The best teachers migrated to schools in communities with higher socio-economic status.

    Some private education firms declared bankruptcy, interrupting education for thousands of students, and jobs were lost. These firms left more than 1 billion crowns ($150 million) owed and unpaid.

    A convicted pedophile set up several schools. [Jeez. Sounds like fundamentalist mormons in Utah.]

    No lasting positive results.

    And yet, Britain went ahead and used the Swedish model to guide their own efforts at privatization. It’s all about the money for those who run private schools, if you ask me.

    http://dianeravitch.net/2013/03/26/the-swedish-voucher-system-an-appraisal/

  97. says

    2. Peas. One of the few things that make me consider my non-belief in supernatural agents of evil.

    Ah, the only correct answer (in my book).

    Come on, Wrath Panda and Tony. Give peas a chance.

  98. says

    Holy crap! Or, rather, holy crappy air quality.

    […] research suggests that these particles play a role in some of humanity’s most terrifying and mysterious illnesses: degenerative brain diseases. […]

    While coarse pollution particles seldom make it past our upper lungs, fine and ultrafine particles can travel from our nostrils along neural pathways directly into our brains. Once there, they can wreak a special havoc that appears to kick off or accelerate the downward spiral of degenerative diseases like Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s.

    While much of the research is still preliminary, the findings so far are compelling. Autopsies of the brains of people who lived in highly contaminated areas have turned up traces of pollution and corresponding brain trauma. And among those still living, epidemiologists have recorded elevated rates of brain disease and accelerated mental decline.

    http://www.motherjones.com/environment/2015/05/air-pollution-dementia-alzheimers-brain

  99. says

    Giliell
    Hugs.

    Dammit, did I miss Wrath Panda too?
    Sorry, and welcome to the lounge.

    Tabby Lavalamp

    Too late, Awakeinmo! I felt shunned and now I sit here despondent, you Ruiner of Things!
    And thank you!

    I do ruin things. In fact, I’m off now to ruin another lunch with a friend. But how? Will I spill wine on her new shirt? Will I get drunk and talk too loudly? OR will I (dun-dun-dunnnn) “forget” my wallet?

  101. otrame says

    Happy 500th, folks.

    Re: Peas

    Depends on what we are talking about. Those green things that are a common side dish in the UK: Blerggggg. No, seriously. BLERRGGGGG!!!!!

    Tiny baby peas, especially if grown in your own garden and carefully cooked with a touch of butter and/or red-wine vinegar: Heaven.

  102. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    After I googled, it turns out my mystery ingredient from this morning’s comment is common purslane. Because I’m totally treating this place like my food blog, here’s the recipe:

    Quick salad to take to work:
    – purslane – fresh, I only use leaves
    – red potatoes – cubed and cooked
    – dressing : vegetable oil, vinegar, mayo and salt
    – peanuts

    Pour the dressing over purslane and potatoes, add peanuts and enjoy!

    —
    rq,
    I don’t really get hungover, but I get tipsy and sleepy after a single beer. You have no idea how many spelling mistakes I had to correct just in this short comment because of that.

  103. rq says

    Beatrice
    I used to not get hangovers.
    Now I do (which are more the product of too-little sleep than actual over-indulging in the beers).
    This is UNACCEPTABLE.
    I need a lot of wine to start making spelling mistakes, though.

  104. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    rq,

    Wine is different. It makes me sleepy-happy, but more coherent. Beer chips away at the brain cells.

  106. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    Tony,

    I feel very good about it.
    In fact, I can’t wait to get my hands on some ripe peaches and make some.

  107. says

    Thanks, folks
    I take all the hugs I can get.
    The cherry on the shit sundae was a friend calling who’s pretty down because something is more difficult than she expected and I’m worried about her, because the way she has chosen is difficult in and on itself and of all the things that could happen this is a minor difficulty, so I’m worried about her and what this whole thing will do to her. But I know thatnot going that way hurts her, too, so, fuck you, cold universe.

  108. rq says

    Tony
    Confession time: I’ve never had Sangria. Red or white.

    *hugs* for opposablethumbs and Giliell, and anyone else who would like one or several!

  109. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    Tony and rq,

    … peaches in wine and sugar count, right?
    Nothing fancy.

  110. says

    rq @108:
    The consumption of sangria has my highest recommendation.
    Incidentally, it’s easy to prepare. The following recipe is the one I’ve used at work and at home. You can obviously substitute ingredients of your preference.

    For Red Sangria-
    You’ll need to thaw three 11.5 oz cans of frozen concentrated grape juice. You’ll also need a sufficiently large vessel to mix your sangria in. I suggest a 3-5 gallon container with a lid.

    Pick 2 bottles of a red wine that you like. In my experience, it doesn’t matter what type of wine you use. I prefer cheaper bc you’ll be adding so much to it, that to buy expensive wine would almost be a waste, IMO. Pour both bottles into the multi-gallon container.

    You’ll also need a bottle of brandy. Cheap brandy is sufficient, but you could buy expensive stuff if you want. I usually add around 4 ounces of Brandy to my Sangria. You can add less or more depending on how strong you want it. You could also add in flavored liquors like Chambord (a raspberry liquor), Apple Pucker, Peach Schnapps, or really any fruity flavored liquor.

    Then prepare a simple syrup mixture using a cup of sugar and a cup of water. Hot water obviously works best to dissolve the sugar quickly. Stir until sugar is dissolved. Slowly pour into multi-gallon container, whisking the simple syrup into the wine as you pour.

    Once the frozen concentrates are thawed, pour them into the container, mixing as you go.

    Add to that approximately 60-90 ounces of water. Mixing as you go.

    Pour immediately into a chilled glass or one with lots of ice. Or you can let the concoction sit in a cooler or refrigerator of some sort (if you have the room).

    This recipe can be scaled up on down. It’s mostly a matter of taste.

    As I mentioned with regard to the liquors, the recipe can be tweaked every which way. You can also substitute other juice concentrates or mix in a bunch of different flavors. Or you can use another form of juice. It doesn’t have to be frozen concentrates.

    As for White Sangria, the recipe is almost exactly the same, except you substitute one of the many lighter colored frozen concentrates for the grape one (Welch’s makes a delicious white grape juice for instance, as well as a passion fruit one). Also, rather than Brandy, I use Peach Schnapps. And of course, you’ll use white wine, such as a Pinot Grigio, Chardonnay, or Riesling.

    If either of the Sangria turns out too sweet, you can add in fresh lime juice to cut that sweetness.

    Another preparation method involves using leftover wine that is no longer drinkable. This method might take a little longer, as ideally, you want this wine to sit for at least a week, and sometimes up to a month. You’d pour that wine in the gallon container and let it sit and ferment. Then at the end of a week/month, prepare the Sangria as directed above. The addition of chopped fruit to this is a great way to have some sweet, alcoholic fruit for dessert. You can take apples, peaches, apricots, or whatever fruit you like and chop them into large-ish chunks and toss them in the multi-gallon container. It doesn’t take long for the fruit to absorb the wine as well as impart their flavor into the wine itself. It’s almost a symbiotic relationship.

  111. chigau (違う) says

    Dehydration contributes to hangovers (hangs over?).
    Drink some water between the booze.
    …
    Giliell #80
    Some tropical, malaria-like diseases seem to run by the clock.
    Probably not applicable to your case.

  112. opposablethumbs says

    Fuck, Giliell, I’m sorry :-( Hopes/wishes for your friend.

    Being something of a Philistine, I just combine red wine, orange juice and plenty of fruit chopped up. Bet yours is a lot tastier, Tony!, but possibly also a lot more dangerous! :-)

  113. says

    opposablethumbs @112:
    Yeah, my version will be stronger, so I always suggest people drink responsibly. At least at home though, you (general you) can safely drink more than you could at a bar or restaurant. And of course chigau’s advice to drink water is important too.

  114. says

    Back when I still drank alcohol*, I used to take a large jug of water to my bedroom when I’d been drinking, and made sure to drink a glass every time I woke up for anything (for me, drinking disturbs my sleep). Helps enormously in the preventing dehydration and thus hangover. If you’re already in the hangover, then a sinus medication can help to rehydrate.

    One more reason I prefer my intoxicants to have less ethanol and more THCinol.

    * I’m not opposed to the stuff, but my meds preclude its coincidental use; a), I want to still have a liver when I’m 60, and b), alcohol and some meds reinforce one another in unpleasant ways.

  116. says

    Republican Governor does more stupid stuff:

    Scott Walker expanded gun rights in Wisconsin on Wednesday by signing into law two bills that, respectively, get rid of the state’s 48-hour waiting period and let retired or off-duty law enforcement officials carry concealed firearms into public schools. […]

    Walker, who is expected to jump into the 2016 presidential race in the next few weeks, often touts his efforts to roll back gun laws in the state. He also has an A-plus rating from the National Rifle Association.

    http://www.politico.com/story/2015/06/scott-walker-two-gun-bills-119380.html

    Great timing (NOT), Governor Walker. Wait until the nation is shocked by the murders in Charleston, and then promptly expand gun rights.

  117. says

    *hugs* and sympathies to Giliell and Opposablethumbs; Fuck cancer.

    Caroline
    yay for finding some support stuff.
    Hello and welcome to the assorted new folks.

    ‘rupt, tired, depressed, and allergy-ridden, so now out of spoons again. *hugs* to everyone.

  118. says

    I’ll just top off the pile of hugs here…

    I just had to deal with a small annoyance caused by somebody else being an incompetent… business. This afternoon, I got a payment for Aged Mum’s caregiver agency from a few weeks ago returned as undeliverable. I called. Oh, says she, we haven’t been there in a long time. They’d sent me a preprinted envelope with the wrong address on. Oops. Ha ha, this is me not laughing.

    So I got the correct address out of her, made copies of the old envelope (with my notes from the call) and the check, put them in a new envelope with the correct address, and put it out for tomorrow’s mail. Gah. If they call my mother and harass her about the bill not being paid on time, There Will Be Words Had, and they won’t be nice. Now I have to worry about that happening again – I can’t remember all the addresses, how am I supposed to know somebody’s sent a bad return envelope?

    I’ll just be hiding in the pillow fort, worrying…

  119. F.O. says

    @gobi’s sockpuppet’s meatpuppet #70
    I wonder, what is the Church gravely concerned about, exactly?
    They also threaten boycott, strictly between the lines because, saying “I don’t like that you are supporting the sodomites, hence I will not buy from you” would be too straightforward for them.
    Again, straight talk does not seem to be their strength (which is good: the time when the Church could say exactly what they meant were called “Dark Ages”).

    @Brony, Social Justice Cenobite #92
    I have been in a similar situation as yours, where I had little to show for the few years after my degree and ended up questioning my worth and employability.
    Within a couple of years the situation completely reversed.
    This is just to say: it’s normal to feel like that.
    I read your comments, I think you are a smart person, I’d hire you.
    Are you job seeking only within the academia or also in the industry?

    @Lynna, OM #96, 98
    Thanks for the links, both very interesting.

  120. says

    On a more frivolous note, a report on the resident feathered dinosaurs.

    1. This morning, there were house finches on every perch of the sunflower seed feeder and more lined up in the trees and on the fence, and the thistle seed feeder was packed solid with goldfinches, at least a dozen at one point. Now that is what I call a twitter feed.

    2. The collective noun for goldfinches is a charm.

    3. The baby mockingbirds in the cactus out front are getting bigger and more vocal by the day. There are at least two, and Elder Daughter thinks she’s seen three. On the one hand, mockers are annoyingly noisy, all night this time of year. On the other, baby birdies are so cute, and it’s so cool that we’re getting g to watch them grow up.

  121. Pen says

    brony @ 92

    Would anyone mind a little advice on something specific regarding my resume?

    This is all very tentative, but maybe try this:

    – approach the whole thing in the spirit of having just finished that MA and having spent a couple of gap years teaching somewhere along the line.

    – a tag line at the top expressing similar goals to those of an MA leaver entering the workforce. I would find one on the Internet that I liked the look of then tweak it to match my situation. Over-thinking might not help.

    – a thematic rather than a chronological approach to the resume itself (good for contractors, temps and anyone with long periods of inactivity – if they’re not counting, at this point they may hardly notice the missing years). From contracting experiences in our household, we’ve learned that the trick to getting a resume into the ‘follow-up’ pile is presence of keywords, not content in any real sense.

    – It’s in the cover letter that you could briefly mention that you’ve been out of the workplace due to illness (no details necessary – remember, you have a right to privacy, they only have a right to know that you can work. If you don’t give them too many details, they’ll undoubtedly approach the subject tactfully in the interview and you can tell them whatever you’ve decided to tell them). I think you might also be able to make a good case that because of your situation, you’re applying for relatively junior posts while bringing more maturity and experience than would be expected at that level?

    I hope this helps a bit but it comes with lots and lots of disclaimers, including different cultural zones (in case you’d forgotten!) – if it doesn’t seem to fit, please just bung it in the wastepaper basket.

  124. chigau (違う) says

    WMDKitty #122
    Don’t really know but my day has been full of meat-space assholes so I’m running to violent fantasies.
    Want some day-old pizza?

  127. AtheistPilgrim says

    Long time reader (Sb days) and very rare commenter who wishes all Loungers a Happy 500th!

    Tony @ 37
    1) Cheese – I love almost all varieties, even the smelly ones!
    2) Peas – proof that Zeus, Odin, or whomgodever grokked vegetables. Love ’em!
    3) Horses – love them, don’t love commercial exploitation of them (racing, eating, etc)
    4) Miracle Whip – being an Aussie, I can only guess it is some form of mayonnaise or salad dressing. My beloved (47 years together) is an outstanding cook and makes all such dressings. I say outstanding even though she has little interest in my atheism and my attendant interests in humanism and social justice, etc, so she is never likely to read this well warranted compliment.

    @60 F.O.
    “I live in Australia and I joined the Greens.
    Why? Because the parties are where the decisions are made, and where a single citizen can make most of the difference.
    It’s false that we the people don’t have enough power.
    It takes effort however.
    Become active.
    Join a party (you can try to steer Labour your way if the Greens are not your cup of tea) or an activist organization.
    Your effort WILL make a difference.
    Get your country back.”

    (Sorry:as an old newbie I could not figure out how to block quote)

    F.O. I fully agree with your sentiments, but in my case for example, I thought I would have almost zero chance of being an agent of change by voting against the sitting member. I have lived most of my life in one of the truly blue ribbon Liberal (US ians read Conservative) seats in the country. No matter if I vote for any other party, the Liberals will win the seat because of an historically unbeatable majority.

    What I have done, however, is develop a courteous, personal relationship with the sitting member who is also a minister in the government. I wrote a sort of positive but questioning comment on his website one day and was astounded to receive a phone call from him the next day. We had a five minute conversation, which he followed up with en email providing his semi-private government email address, meaning he reads them directly. Since then over the past two years we have had some interesting and often spirited email conversations, mainly about policy matters that I disagree with and that he has defended along government lines. I am pleased to say that one particular issue about which we debated quite vigourously, with multiple emails within several hours, was eventually resolved, as a change to government policy, to my personal satisfaction.

    Thus while I won’t join the Liberal party, by my approach I feel that I have been able to influence a political outcome and as an individual, make a difference.

  128. Okidemia says

    Salam/shalom to everyone.

    Advice from chigau (違う) @111 to indulge in water meanwhile is well thought out, and if you’re in a situation that makes it possible, I’d recommand coconut water in cases of bad hangover. I haven’t tried yet (rarely indulge in heavy drink moments) but I’ve seen folks coming back to life minutes after that simple cure. You probably shouldn’t use your machete in this situation though, but friends may be doing you a favor.

    We’ve been into the weird in the last four days. But in the end, this was more fun than bad. Two culminating points: first the car stopped working less than 48 hours before the herd needed a ride to the airport, right during tropical stormy rain front #9 (which may have reached Tony! today) and at the same time as zillionic nuptial swarming of the local (and unpalatable) termite, interesting experience when you need pushing a car. Insurance guy was unsure whether it was just a joke or not (please try to give a call when two pintads fight over a female in the neighbour’s garden). Second, the herd took the keys onboard by mistake and mine were fallen from clothes, and landlord got a few dozens but the good one. We ended up on the roof until one of the keys eventually opened a window.

    Now I go back cleaning the deck from wet termite wings.

  129. chigau (違う) says

    AtheistPilgrim
    Welcome.

    Doing this
    <blockquote>paste copied text here</blockquote>
    Results in this

    paste copied text here

    also
    <b>bold</b>
    bold

    <i>italic</i>
    italic

  130. AtheistPilgrim says

    Chigau, thank you.
    I have copied/pasted your explanation into a note so I won’t forget.

  131. Okidemia says

    Oh and I forgot, two questions for Tony!:
    – would you say that planteurs are tropical versions of sangria?
    – did you try spices wine?
    .
    .
    Btw, leaving for two months tomorrow, only occasional connectance expected, and heading for vacations in the middle of a biologist dreamplace filled with creepy critters when not at symposia or collaborative meet-ups.

  132. Morgan!? ♥ ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ says

    WMDKitty @ 125,

    I Love percussive therapy. That is why rq’s sledgehammer is so useful.
    So, in the thread The Mended Drum, can we refer to the denizens as percussionists? Or is that too reflective of its former free-for-all attitude? (Another grin.)

  133. chigau (違う) says

    Morgan #132
    I think Drummers has already been used, but I would vote for Percussionists.

  134. Lyn M: Totally Knows What This Nym Means says

    Thank you Tony, Anne, Morgan, ajb47, chigau, Beatrice, Giliell, opposablethumbs, bassmike, echidna, awakeinmo, and Brony. I appreciate the good wishes. It was a lot of fun to see all of them this morning.

    Congrats Nerd, that is an awesome anniversary!

    Please share your thoughts on the following:
    1) Cheese
    2) Peas
    3) Horses
    4) Miracle Whip

    Don’t believe I ever took this quiz.
    1) Cheese is a staple in my world, and often adds a bit of flavour to things.
    2) Fresh, yep. Canned, nope.
    3) My grandfather trained horses to teams when he was young. They make me think of him and feel fond.
    4) Miracle Whip. Kind of squicks me out.

    There! All caught up! Hope people who need hugs get them and things start turning around. It is indeed a long haul to get through adversity. I wish you strength and steadiness and just a soupcon (I have no cedilla) of good luck to make things go better.

  135. rq says

    Okidemia
    Good luck, have fun, and watch out for the leeches!

    Anne
    Hope the new address works and that the company isn’t a pain about it.

    chigau
    re: water with alcohol
    See, that’s how I know that a lack of sleep has started to affect me, because even when I do partake of the intermittent water therapy, I wake up feeling like shit.
    My current theory is that, during the hour to hour-and-a-half that I end up ‘napping’, my body actually goes to sleep, and doesn’t wake up together with my brain afterwards. Not until several hours (awake or asleep, though I highly recommend spending the time asleep) of being unable to eat or drink anything, at any rate.

    I’m sure I had something else I wanted to say.
    Oh well.

    *hugs* and *higs* and the sledgehammer is definitely available on loan, if anyone needs.

  136. says

    Anne
    I hate that shit. Somebody else fucks up but you’Re the one in danger of consequences.

    ++++
    Hello all new and not so new people
    I welcome you to the Lounge. If it seems like I’m totally ignoring you, be assured it’s not the case. I’m reading. I’m just royally out of spoons and don’t have the energy to reply to you and make room in my head for these conversations. Please don’t take it as a “not wanted here”. It’s not you, it’s me.

  138. opposablethumbs says

    Thank you and many hugs to rq and Dalillama.

    My respects and greetings to new people; my affectionate respects to the Loungery.

  139. bassmike says

    Re Hangovers: there was a TV program I saw a few weeks ago where they investigated the difference between drinking your recommended alcohol allowance in one night rather than spread over the whole week. One thing that they established was that your body doesn’t pee any more water with binging rather than drinking the equivalent volume of a soft drink. This doesn’t mean that drinking water isn’t going to help with a hangover though! There were some more worrying findings from the show, but there you go.

    Hello to all you new people. I would name you all, but I’ve lost count of who I’ve said Hi to and who I haven’t. Rest assured I’m glad to see all the new faces. Welcome one and all (now I sound like a Dickens novel!).

    Welcome back rq . I’m not sure about this: but did it rain at all? ;-)

  141. rq says

    bassmike
    I’d like to lightly smack you with this soaking wet sweater that I just laid out to dry (outside, because Whew! the odour…). :)

  142. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    rq,

    I am disappointed. I learned there is a forensics conference on Brač and you didn’t come.

  144. rq says

    Beatrice
    That’s because my work let me out professionally back in April, and it will be another 5 years until they let me out again. :) (I’m considering a conference in Prague in September, but if yes, I have to pay for it myself. :( )

  145. bassmike says

    rq @141:

    I’d like to lightly smack you with this soaking wet sweater that I just laid out to dry (outside, because Whew! the odour…). :)

    Only lightly? I must be highly favoured!

  147. bassmike says

    rq A lot have people have a soft spot for me, but it generally means a tar pit!

  149. AtheistPilgrim says

    @137 F.O.
    Thank you. You understand our (far from unique) political complexities and your comment inspired me to support your response to Emily Vicendese #7. While I am not quite ready to join the Greens, Richard Di Natale is making the right noises as well as actually doing things that are far more impressive than those of the previous leader. Let’s say I could become acquiescent to changing my primary allegiances. We’ll see, particularly in regard to the Senate and Senate preferences.

  151. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    Anne,

    Thanks, but I’m already on the after-lunch glass of wine.

    It’s Statehood Day here, so I’m home. We had 2 holidays this week, so it’s been a bit strange.

  152. Nick Gotts says

    Welcome new Loungers, congrats to the Lounge itself and to Nerd and Redhead, best wishes to Giliell, Caroline, happy birthday Lyn! Wife and I are just back from a few days in Sicily; we were in Syracusan, on the island (just about an island – two short bridges join it to mainland Sicily) of Ortygia. The highlight of the holiday was a visit to “Valle dei Templi”, perhaps the best ancient Greek site outside Greece proper; but we were surprised by the ugliness of a huge military-industrial complex at Augusta, and new building in towns on the way from Syracuse – although these developments presumably mean Sicily is doing well economically, and certainly people looked much better off than we expected. The Greek theatre in Syracuse is also good, despite disparaging comments on TripAdvisor, the Paolo Orsi Archeological Museum and the Papyrus Museum are both well organised and full of good stuff, and the ambience is good. Food, however, was disappointing, despite the enthusiasm of wife’s colleagues here – almost impossible to get anything that was not sweet! On the morning of departure, I gave a striking proof of stupidity – locking our train tickets in the flat, with the keys (as arranged) left inside. Grateful thanks to the proprietor, who drove out, unlocked, and took us to the station, at 7am!

    This weekend we’ll be attending Turino LGBT Pruide with the local Amnesty International group, having helped prepare their materials before we went to Sicily. (Yes, I did mistype “Prude” for “Pride” at first!) I’ve never actually attended a “Pride” before, so I’m very interested to see how it’s done here, expecially after reading Tony’s illuminating historical survey.

    hilaryrettig@5, I’ll try to find time for the TED talk – sounds interesting. Brony@20, thanks for that link. I’m very interested in Turchin’s work, and am a co-author of Claudio Cioffi-Revilla (also mentioned in the article) on a couple of papers – personally a very nice guy, very bright, although a long way to the right of the median position here politically!

  153. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    Of course, politicians are jumping over themselves to get to the front rows of church service for the memorial mass for the casualties of the war.
    It seems like the new president spends half the time at one church service or another… sucking up to nationalists (almost synonymous with True Catholic here)

  154. says

    Wait..what?! Somehow I missed this news from early June-
    A man went on a shooting spree in Mesa, Arizona.
    Yes, he is white and yes, he was taken alive.

    An ex-convict with a history of violence and drug use is accused of gunning down a man in a Mesa motel Wednesday morning, then going on a shooting spree that left five others, including a culinary student, injured.

    A Mesa SWAT team took Ryan Giroux, 41, into custody around 1 p.m., in a vacant condominium near Longmore and Emelita Avenue after a massive manhunt that included four other law-enforcement agencies.

    Giroux was shot with a Taser, taken to Banner Desert Medical Center in Mesa for treatment, then questioned late into Wednesday evening by detectives and investigators. He was expected to be booked into Maricopa County’s Fourth Avenue Jail on multiple charges.

    The violence began shortly after 8 a.m. at the Tri-City Inn, a sherbet-orange, one-story motel at 1504 W. Main St. that is flanked by a used-tire store and a custom motorcycle shop. It offers kitchenettes, phones and HBO, renting primarily on a long-term basis.

  155. says

    NIck
    That sounds like a nice holiday. I admit I haven’t made it to Italy since I was a toddler. It’s the fault of the Alps.

    +++
    Oofff
    So I went to the refugee centre today to drop off stuff.
    It’S such a horrible place. You drive through the nice lower middleclass neighbourhoods with their 4 bedrrom houses and their nicely kept gardens and their VW car and suddenly you’re in a neighbourhood where the houses seem to be falling apart, where people are trying to dry their laundry on the balconies. No flowers, no nice maintenance. I stopped in front of the office where they collect donations and I was surrounded by kids asking if I brought clothes, begging for stuff, their eyes bright, hopeful.
    Seriously, it looked like that fucked up GoT scene, if Daenerys Targaerien was fat and brown haired and my stomach curled up. I handed over a few things and took the rest to the office (cause it would be unfair if only the kids living near the office got something).
    No, I’m not getting off on charity. Charity sucks. I’m not feeling good for having made those kids’ day a bit brighter, for having shown their parents that some people care. I’m feeling sad and sick to the bone and disgusted. I don’t want to be a fucking white saviour, the nice German lady who helps poor brown kids.

  156. says

    CaitieCat @114:

    * I’m not opposed to the stuff, but my meds preclude its coincidental use; a), I want to still have a liver when I’m 60, and b), alcohol and some meds reinforce one another in unpleasant ways.

    I can’t even imagine how badly alcohol and some medications mix (or, rather *don’t* mix-well that is).

    ****
    Anne @120:

    1. This morning, there were house finches on every perch of the sunflower seed feeder and more lined up in the trees and on the fence, and the thistle seed feeder was packed solid with goldfinches, at least a dozen at one point. Now that is what I call a twitter feed.

    Shouldn’t that be a tweeter feed?

    ****

    AtheistPilgrim @127:
    Click me if you want to learn about miracle whip.

    (and I swear, there are some days my spelling is shit; I typed your nym three separate times and each time atheist just didn’t look like it was spelled right)

    ****
    Okidemia @131:

    Oh and I forgot, two questions for Tony!:
    – would you say that planteurs are tropical versions of sangria?
    – did you try spices wine?

    I have never heard of planteurs, so I’ll have to go edumacate myself (why is that word not in my ‘puter dictionary?) and I’ve never tried spiced wine. Hmmm…that sounds…vewwy, vewwy, tempting.

    Btw, leaving for two months tomorrow, only occasional connectance expected, and heading for vacations in the middle of a biologist dreamplace filled with creepy critters when not at symposia or collaborative meet-ups.

    I hope you have a good time. We’ll expect a full report of your trip, written in perfect cursive with a pen, single spaced and no less than 1 page, and no more than 1.85 pages, to be turned in within 36 hours after you return.
    (that’s me attempting this thing I heard one time called ‘funny’)

    ****

    Y’know, I don’t believe I’ve ever taken the questionnaire.
    1-I like cheese. Cheese is good. It’s not something I’m a die-hard fan of, but I like it. Typically I prefer cheese on or in something-chicken cordon bleu, caesar salad with parmesan cheese, chicken quesadilla, or scrambled eggs with cheese. I’m usually not a fan of eating cheese by itself.
    Funny thing about me and cheese-I dislike blue cheese dressing, but I love crumbled blue cheese on a salad (in small doses; I’m not looking for some lettuce with my blue cheese crumbles) or a steak.

    2- I hated peas as a kid. I hated them as a teen. I hate them as an adult. The little green fuckers (I miss Portia whom we once pelted with peas while she was busy losing at Pictionary against me) are evil. When I eat friend (love that typo) rice I pick them out (along with their counterparts in evil-cooked carrots).

    3- Unlike cicely, I like horses, though I have little exposure to them. I’d like to go horseback riding one day actually. That’s on my bucket list.

    4- The only time any mayo product or mayo-like product enters my mouth is when it’s mixed in with tuna fish. Growing up poor, my parents would routinely fix tuna fish sandwiches. They used Starkist tuna, mixed in a liberal amount of mayo (or maybe it was miracle whip), added relish (which I could never get them to STOP doing), salt and pepper, and slathered the stuff between two pieces of toast and that was dinner. Or lunch. Sometimes breakfast. Often a midnight snack.

    ****

    bassmike @145:

    Only lightly? I must be highly favoured!

    You are :)

    ****

    Nick @152:
    Sounds like you and your wife had a good time in Sicily. Awesome!

    Food, however, was disappointing, despite the enthusiasm of wife’s colleagues here – almost impossible to get anything that was not sweet!

    Interesting. I’ve only been outside of the US twice-once to Mexico and once to Canada-so I’m curious…when you say sweet, how sweet are we talking? Chocolate cake-type sweet?

  157. says

    First round of good news from SCOTUS-
    SCOTUS allows nationwide healthcare subsidies

    The Supreme Court ruled on Thursday that President Obama’s health care law may provide nationwide tax subsidies to help poor and middle-class people buy health insurance.

    Chief Justice John G. Roberts Jr. wrote the majority opinion in the 6-to-3 decision. The court’s three most conservative members — Justices Antonin Scalia, Clarence Thomas and Samuel A. Alito Jr. — dissented.

    Man, between this and the whining about the Confederate flag, the streets of this country are going to be flooded with the tears of conservatives. I hope there will be veritable tidal wave once they issue their marriage equality ruling.

  158. says

    Tony @157, thanks for the roundup of the Obamacare news from SCOTUS. I read one account that noted even some Republican politicians said, “Oh, thank God.” They love to whine about how Obamacare is a rolling disaster for the USA, but they have never agreed upon an effective alternative. Stripping thousands of their constituents of healthcare would really not have played well for them.

    As Steve Benen wrote:

    […] Republicans would have confronted an incredible mess they were woefully unprepared to clean up. Worse, there’s a big election coming up, and the GOP was poised to be on the hook for hurting a lot of people out of nothing but spite. […] gutting a massive law by examining half a sentence out of context is absurd.

    Quite the show, though. Anti-Obamacare activists brought such a dunderheaded case before the court that the decision wasn’t split 5-4 or 4-5, it was a 6-3 decision. Most of the Justices were seen to be reasonable. Yay!

    Why did the Supreme Court even agree to hear the case?

  159. says

    Fuck
    Fuck Cancer, fuck hope, cause it’s a cruel bastard.
    Yesterday we thought that now we know what’s the matter and they can treat those issues and then restart chemo, but nope, not going to happen. Just palliative care.

  160. Ice Swimmer (was Nakkustoppeli) says

    Hello,

    I’m somewhat rupt. However I’d like to tell rq that Anders Miolin and the late Narciso Yepes play decacorde and 11-string alto guitar quite nicely.

  162. says

    Some Republican responses to the SCOTUS decision on Obamacare:

    Rick Perry: “Americans cannot look to the courts to undo the damage from Obamacare.”
    Huckabee: “Judicial tyranny.”
    Marco Rubio: “We need Consumer Care, not Obamacare.”

  165. rq says

    Ice Swimmer
    Thank you for remembering about that! I will put those names on my very short decacorde-player list and will seek them out at home. :)

  166. says

    Another Republican response to the SCOTUS decision on Obamacare:

    “Today’s decision does not change the fact that Obamacare is a socialist takeover of health care forced down the throats of the American people without proper review, and it does not slow the massive and unprecedented transfer of wealth that is at the heart of the subsidy system,” Bryant said in a statement.

    “Make no mistake—Obamacare is not about helping those in need or improving health care delivery,” he continued. “It is about destabilizing our health care system, ceding more control to centralized government and replacing individual liberty with government dependence.”

    That’s Mississippi Governor Phil Bryant speaking.
    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/phil-bryant-obamacare-socialist-supreme-court

    These guys definitely have an obsession with things being forced down their throats. Dude has a problem with logical thinking.

  167. Morgan!? ♥ ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ says

    Giliell, I am so sorry about your friend. I offer abundant hugs along with the other Loungelings. I hope they provide a safe place to rage and scream and cry.

  168. Morgan!? ♥ ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ says

    I have not researched palliative care. What I “know” is anecdotal. I have heard that more serious consideration is being given to providing mood altering medication to the dying, including hallucinogens. It would seem to be a kind thing to offer. It seems kindness is not often considered. I am in a dark mood. Sorry.

  169. says

    Moar *hugs* for Gilell.
    re:155
    Frankly, fuck charity too. In a civilized place, there’d be no need for it.

    Happy belated bday Lyn M and happy anniversary to Nerd &Redhead

    WMDKitty
    Sympathies, but no advice.

    It’s expected to break 34℃/93℉ today, and get hotter over the weekend. My workspace is usually around 10-15℉ hotter than outside, because it’s a kitchen. Fun times.
    Also, I have run afoul of Vimes’ Law; due to being able to afford only a mediocre bicycle, I am now having to chronically spend more money and time on repairs/replacement parts; my wheels are going this time around. A couple of weeks ago every single spoke in my front wheel came loose at once, and getting it back in proper true has proved impossible.

  170. says

    Giliell

    I’m sorry about your friend. Fuck cancer.

    But good on you for taking the donations where they’re needed most.

    ***
    Took the kids (12 and 10 years old) to the Philadelphia Museum of Art’s Discover the Impressionists exhibit today.

    I loved this exhibit. The kids didn’t hate it, so I’m counting it as a win. I can now add Sisley and Pissaro to the list of Impressionists I like, and though Monet is still my favorite, I have a better understanding of why my dad likes Renoir best.

  173. says

    Hey, Donald Trump, there are consequences when you call immigrants from Mexico “rapists.”

    Today, the entertainment division of Univision Communications Inc. announced that it is ending the Company’s business relationship with the Miss Universe Organization, which is part-owned by Donald J. Trump, based on his recent, insulting remarks about Mexican immigrants,” the company said. “At Univision, we see first-hand the work ethic, love for family, strong religious values and the important role Mexican immigrants and Mexican-Americans have had and will continue to have in building the future of our country. We will not be airing the Miss USA pageant on July 12th or working on any other projects tied to the Trump Organization.

    https://variety.com/2015/tv/news/univsion-donald-trump-mexican-immigrants-1201528106/

  174. says

    Sean Hannity of Fox News says some stupid stuff about Wal-Mart no longer selling Confederate flags:

    “I have a question: can you still buy a Jay-Z CD at Walmart? Does the music department at Sears have any Ludacris albums? Can I download 50 Cent on Amazon? Can I do that? Can I get some Snoop Dogg albums on eBay?” […]

    “Why do I say that?” Hannity continued. “Because a lot of the music by those artists are chock-full of the ‘N word,’ and the ‘B-word,’ and the ‘H-word,’ and racist, misogynist, sexist, anti-woman slurs none of those retail executives would be caught dead using.”

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/hannity-confederate-flag-rap-music

  176. says

    Good news out of New Jersey. In fact, it is news of yet another court being reasonable. Yay for the courts.

    After three weeks of trial, a New Jersey jury reached a quick verdict in the case against JONAH, a Jewish ex-gay organization sued under the state’s consumer fraud laws. The jury unanimously found against JONAH on all counts, meaning it will have to pay upwards of $25,000 in damages to the clients and their families for undergoing ex-gay therapy.

    The verdict is a big loss for the ex-gay therapy movement. Though JONAH was not permitted to present “expert” testimony — the judge compared it to testimony about the Earth being flat — the extensive trial offered a thorough examination of various ex-gay programs. This included not only the troubling practices of the Alan Downing, the JONAH-affiliated counselor who worked with the plaintiffs, but also a popular People Can Change retreat program called Journey Into Manhood (JiM). Two of the stars of TLC’s My Husband’s Not Gay, both Mormon, testified in the trial on behalf of their experiences with JiM.

    The victory for these plaintiffs and the Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC) opens the door to similar challenges across the country that could hold other reparative therapists accountable for their harmful shame-based treatment. It also may encourage other states to follow the lead of California, New Jersey, and D.C. to pass laws banning ex-gay therapy for minors. Challenges to those laws have similarly failed in court.

    http://thinkprogress.org/lgbt/2015/06/25/3674068/ex-gay-fraud-verdict/

  178. says

    Lynna @175,

    Trump is suing Univision for what? They exercised their rights as a corporation (which are, after all people) and fired him, that’s all. Some people just don’t appreciate what a great country the US of A is.

  179. Pen says

    A story that might not make the international news but has lots of horrible resonances with the Dylann Roof case. The difference? No guns, probably.

    A loner fascinated with far right ideologies and violent video games screamed “white power” as he launched a racially-motivated machete and hammer attack on a dentist of Asian origin, a court has heard.

    Also thought some might be interested because video games are mentioned and the subject came up in another thread.

    I’m noticing that as with Breivik, this guy seems to have admired Islamic terrorism as much as he hated Muslims . Wondering if that’s more a European thing.

  180. says

    Ok, ya’ll might need to sit down for this one. It is epic. A friend of mine on Facebook posted a screencap of the following (names have been removed, obviously):

    Dear Walmart,
    Please tell us where it all ends?
    It’s not your job to impose morals. Admit it, it is the soula nd heart of people that’s the true cause of racism. Not silly symbols. I fear you are missing the point in a free society. A flag now, a book next time. Where does it all end, where?

    Response:
    I think we both know where it ends [redacted]. Your home in ashes, our starving children strewn about you half-dead and sobbing, packs of vicious wild dogs roaming the streets of once-happy American suburbs feeding off the weak, the cities burning on the horizon and the ground rumbling underfoot from the Chinese tanks out enforceing the new governments mandatory curfew. And always, through the din of screams and smoke and jackboots marching in unison, above it all you hear Obama laughing. It’s been three weeks since you’ve had anything but pages torn from the family bible to eat. Your fee ache, your shoes have long ago been stolen by roving gangs of armed minorities and the tattered strips of the American flag you’ve bound them in do little to stop the cold, let alone the blisters. Your wife is a man now and all your guns have gotten gay married. With your last, dying breath, you raise a defiant glance to the darkened patch of sky where the sun should be were it not blocked by looming mushroom clouds and woefully bemoan “if only Walmart hadn’t stopped selling confederate flags none of this would have happened…” I wish I could say it wasn’t too late. I wish I could say that, [redacted].

  183. Ogvorbis: failed human says

    Tony! — I am heading into a total non-sequitor based on the mention of Walmart.

    I spent Monday thru Wednesday in training, learning how to conduct a new(er) type of tour. The cool thing about it is that it allows the interpreter to bring up controversial topics in a way that is constructive and, for me as a ranger, terrifying.

    I am (as I have noted before) a control freak. I am terrified of not being in control of a situation and, with most tours, I succeed. This training, however, basically hands over the conversation to the visitor — facilitated dialogue.

    My team developed a dialogue based on the resource and confronting the idea that railroads, specifically steam locomotives, were the opening salvo in the transition from a local economy to a global economy. We decided to have me present the facilitated dialogue programme since I knew the resource best.

    I began by asking a rather innocuous question. The participant’s name and their favourite breakfast food. We went around the room with everyone answering this safe non-judgmental question, and then I pointed out that some of those foods were local — yoghurt (milk can ‘spoil’ anywhere), berries, fruits — and global — avocado, wheat, lox. Then I took them back two hundred years and helped them get a feel for what a truly local economy was — almost all food was grown within fifteen or twenty miles, beers and wines and liquors were local, the only ‘imports’ were things that required more technology — guns, china, glass. Then came the steam locomotive. THings like shoes were suddenly much more affordable, mass production facilities had a wider reach. Add in steamships and refrigeration, and the global economy was on its way.

    Then I asked the participants to think about their last purchase that was no food or fuel, where they bought it and why. The answers ranged from box stores to Etsy and Amazon to a local hardware store to an antique store. I pointed out that these purchases were both through the local economy and the global economy.

    So I popped the first BIG question: What are some of the benefits and downfalls of a global economy? And the conversation took off in ways I could never imagine — McDonalds in Hong Kong, small villages in India marketing local goods through the internet, the globalization of environmental problems such as exotic invasive species, the Irish potato famine, towns that get along with both local and global and the towns that are being destroyed, the interstate highway monoculture.

    So I popped the second half of the BIG question: Can the local economy and the global economy coexist? And they took that and ran. I sat down and, other than gently reminding people not to dominate the conversation, listened. And they talked for almost 30 minutes about successes and failures, new strategies, the benefits and downfalls of both.

    Finally, our instructor signaled me to wrap it up, so I gently ended the conversation with me thanking them for participating, emphasizing how much I had learned, and then told them: One last question. I do not expect an answer, but I want you to think about this tonight: Based on what we talked about today, will anything change in the way you participate in the two economies?

    It was scary as hell for me — like going down a back road, setting the cruise control, taking my hands of the wheel and closing my eyes (like I said, I’m a control freak and handing the conversation over to the participants is scary) — but the conversation flowed and they talked about some major-league issues in a calm, rational manner.

    I know that was not the point of your #180, but the mention of Walmart set me off here. Our instructor has used facilitated dialogue to discuss race in Durham, NC, police and protestors in New York City, global warming in Texas and Louisiana, and other hot-button issues. And he said it usually works. He said it has also changed minds. A few at a time, but it works.

    My boss wants me to further develop this programme as an off-site programme to present in high schools to show how history affects us today.

    =================

    Hi all. Threadrupt. Hugs to all. Grog and brandy and Scotch and Boone’s Farm Tickle Pink to whoever wants it. And HAPPY FRIDAY!

  184. Ogvorbis: failed human says

    Ragutis:

    And I will bet dollars to donuts that Sarah Palin will, at some point, editorialize approvingly of her daughter’s choice to let the pregnancy go to term. And she will never see the irony.

  185. Ragutis says

    And she will never see the irony.

    Of course she won’t, Russia’s in the way.

  186. Rowan vet-tech says

    Is June over yet? This week is shaping up to be just as wonderful as last week. Yesterday we had a parvo kitten come in, and had a case of feline megaesophagus in a 2 1/2 week old kitten. His throat inflated like a frog every time he breathed. And we also had to euthanise a megacolon kitten too that we all adored. Today we had more parvo (ended up euthanising the entire litter of 4) and then FIP.

    Can I just tell you that of ALL the diseases kittens get, that I HATE FIP the most? Feline Infectious Peritonitis comes in two forms, wet and dry. Dry form is tougher to diagnose and kittens can live with it for a couple months before finally dying. Wet form gets ’em pretty darned quick. But the cause is the simple corona virus that pretty much all cats have. Only sometimes it mutates in such a way that the cat’s body freaks out over it and starts doing badness to itself. There’s technically a vaccine, but there’s been some evidence that it can actually *increase* the risk of FIP… so that’s counter productive. And it tends to hit young kittens and oooold cats. Presents typically with ADR and chronic high fever of unknown origin (FUO).

    This kitten had wet form and so the body was dumping fluid into the lungs and abdomen. boo. That poor foster mom has had the worst luck with her babies.

    We also had a couple adult cats that we had to test for FIV and FeLV… and one of them was FeLV positive, only we’ve been medicating her for over a week and she was a doll and we were all attached and now she’s been euthanised.

    Icing on cake though was that my kittens are 4 weeks old… time for their FeLV test. Little Kiwi, the dark tortie whom I particularly love, had a very faint positive on her test. The vet is having me hold onto her for 30 days (she’s got ringworm so she was staying at least that long anyway) and we’re retesting the whole litter then.

    Soooo…. fuck today. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

    *eats an entire bag of dark chocolate M&Ms*

  188. Ogvorbis: failed human says

    Rowan:

    Hugs and whatever recreation relaxants you desire. One of the regulars who stops by at work is a large animal vet. He told me, about a year ago, that usually being a vet is wonderful. And then . . .

  189. AtheistPilgrim says

    Tony @ 156

    Thanks, but Prof Google has enlightened me about Miracle Whip. I think I’ll stick to Mrs Pilgrim’s home-made dressings for the time being.

    Yes, funnily enough atheist is so often written as “athiest”, mainly, but not exclusively, by contrarian religious and non-religious folk, that it can scan as looking like the correct spelling.

    Atheist is still a scary word for some people. A workmate of mine, aged in their thirties I guess, told me in conversation that they “didn’t believe in any religion” and asked what I thought about that. I replied “Neither do I. I am an atheist”. Their response was (or maybe wasn’t) startling: “An atheist! But that means you don’t believe in anything!” I sighed, smiled and said “Well, I believe that you are a very nice person, so I must believe in something” and left it at that. Proselytizing isn’t my thing.

  190. says

    Tony! @180

    That. Was. Brilliant.

    Ogvorbis

    WAY TO GO!

    Giliell

    I’m sorry to hear about your friend — I hope that she’s as comfortable as possible during this time.

    Rowan

    Oh, damn. I’m sorry.

    ==========

    As for me? I feel like I’m surrounded by death and disaster.

    The memorial service for my buddy Paul is next month. I went out on the trails today, and it’s just not the same without him riding beside me.

  191. bassmike says

    Sorry Giliell the same thing happened to my Dad: things were looking up before Christmas and he was off chemo, then after the holidays he was into palliative care. I understand what it’s like and it’s horrible. *hugs* if wanted.

    Ogvorbis that sounded like an excellently handled discussion. I’m very impressed!

    Rowan I don’t know how you cope with all that you have to do. I’m simply glad that these animals have someone so wonderfully caring to help them.

    Tony! I wish I had the eloquence to compose something like that.

    WDMKitty commiserations to you too. Losing a close friend is very hard.

    Dammit! I’m leaving a huge pile of *hugs* and *higs* for anyone who wants them. Then I’m going to sit by the bar and be there for anyone who wants company.

  192. says

    Hi there
    Thank you all for the hugs. I wrap them around me.
    It’s my aunt, better said my mother’s cousin, not my friend. That was opposablethumbs, which just shows that too many people die from fucking cancer. As my sister pointed our, we might have 3 more funerals in front of us this year. My aunt, almost for certain, my gran is 93, my mother, the last one so completly futile. 2015, the year I graduate from college and bury my family…

    +++
    Ragutis @184
    Thanks for the snorfle, I needed that.

    +++
    From the annals of complicated things are complicated…
    Some of the muslim girls at #1’s school (primary school) are apparently engaging in some holier than thou Ramadan fasting. At least in one case against their parents’ wishes. Where we used to smoke chcolate cigarettes to apear all grown up, they are eyeing headscarves and fasting…

  193. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    @Giliell:

    Some of the muslim girls at #1’s school (primary school) are apparently engaging in some holier than thou Ramadan fasting. At least in one case against their parents’ wishes. Where we used to smoke chcolate cigarettes to apear all grown up, they are eyeing headscarves and fasting…

    yeah, I’ve (only once) encountered a small clique of girls who were talking up how superior they were for fasting during Ramadan … because that meant that they were going to grow up skinny and the kid they were shaming was going to grow up fat.

    I have no idea if that’s common or a thing or what, but yeah, as repulsive as that situation was it was hard to figure out just what the right response would have been. Lucky for me, I was just walking past the school, I had no responsibility (or ability) to address it in a serious/long term way. But still, it’s the kind of thing that makes your brain strain against the limits of its skull.

  194. birgerjohansson says

    Gilliell,
    Hugs, if you want them. I could write more about cancer claiming people close to me, but the subject is still raw, many years afterwards.

  196. Pen says

    I thought you’d all like to hear something nice fora change. We spent the morning at the US embassy in London, renewing our daughter’s passport, and yes, they are flying a couple of nice big rainbow flags flanking the front door, in honor of Pride Weekend, I suppose.

    Inside it was harder, because we got to sit around for an hour and a half watching the breaking news coverage of the latest terrorist attack in our old home in France (they started off saying it was our old home town, then fine-tuned it to some 80km further north). Still waiting on all the details.

  197. rq says

    Pen
    Notice how that one got labelled a terrorist attack right off the bat? (I know, I know, it’s in Europe, but still…) Just saw it in the internet news here, wow. :( Commiserations.

    +++

    I’m all out of all the spoons, sorry y’all. I usually have a couple to share but (a) just returned from work with the circus (b) I can’t seem to catch up, never mind keep up, with all the racism just in USAmerica and (c) oogly boogly. At least I got the kids into their beds for a rest. They might last an hour. I’m afraid to take a nap because I might wake up in an even worserer mood (not that I’m in a bad mood right now, I just need a mental switch-off period).
    And various other assortiments are contributing, including the fact that I had to pay all my taxes in one go this year, and that was this month, and it’s at least another 14 days ’til I get paid again. There go the non-perishables I’d stocked up for the end times.
    Please interpret this wet-noodly wave of the wrist as offered *hugs* and *higs*. For everyone. And this half-hearted dying-beast impression as a resounding ‘Fuck Cancer’. I’m trying.

    Think I’m going to go sit at the bar with bassmike, if that’s okay with you. Campari and tonic, please, Tony. With a slice of orange.

  198. bassmike says

    You’re more than welcome at the bar rq . I’m sure Tony! will be here soon for the drinks. I’ll have a single malt whiskey. Which would you prefer: companionable silence or chat?

  201. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    And it seems SSM is now legal on all 50 states.

    Party time! Free drinks and sammiches at the Pharyngula Saloon and Spanking Parlor.

  202. bassmike says

    I’ll sit here at the bar a raise a glass to all the Americans who can finally get married. How many whiskeys is too many?

  204. rq says

    bassmike
    I’ll raise that glass with you, and I’m about ready for some chat ;) but I think (looking at the clock) you’re about to leave the Lounge for the evening. But I’ll be here tomorrow.

    +++

    Speaking of tomorrow, I open season on one of my favourite garden activities: dead-heading! So therapeutic. If anyone has any particular issues they would like me to nip off, let me know (I’m pretty sure ‘cancer’ will have at least the entire blue rose bush).

  205. rq says

    And yes, congratulations, USA! Now I just hope all those states will follow along like obedient little ducklings.

  206. says

    ::Dashes in behind the bar::
    Sorry I’m late folks. I was running through the streets with my best rainbow attire on and singing “The hills are alive with the sound of marriage equality”.
    All drinks are on the house for the weekend. Campari and tonic with a slice of orange for rq and two fingers of a nice single malt scotch for bassmike. Ice? No ice?

  207. yazikus says

    Dropping in to say YAY! I see there are drinks about, may I drop off some virtual rainbow colored drink umbrellas? And festive coasters. A good day to be in the US. A good day.

  208. rq says

    Tony
    If you can carry a tune, I bet that was a sight to see. Any pics of your rainbow attire? ;)
    Also, have a drink on me. I mean, put it on my tab.

  211. says

    I would love a rainbow-colored drink. Put me on your list, Tony.

    Franklin Graham would not like a rainbow-colored drink:

    Fox News commentator Todd Starnes interviewed Franklin Graham today about the Supreme Court decision legalizing gay marriage in all 50 states, which Graham decried because “our government is recognizing sin” and it will lead to the persecution of Christians and God unleashing His judgment upon America.

    While it is a sad day for America when the Supreme Court will “endorse sin,” Graham vowed that “I will never recognize it in my heart” because “God gave us marriage and God does not change his mind.”

    Graham went on to warn Christians that “you had better be ready and you had better be prepared” because the wholesale persecution of Christianity will now be unleashed, as will, ultimately, God’s judgment on this nation.

    “I do believe that God’s judgment will come on this nation,” he said, noting that just as God brought judgment upon the nation of Israel in the Bible, so too will He bring judgment on America.

    Link

    Sounds a lot like Ken Ham. These guys all play the same, boring note.

    In some parts of the USA, gun sales will go up again.

  213. says

    I wanted to pop in and add to the happiness of everyone who will finally will get to exercise their right to marry the person they love. Society is finally coming around. May the successes in obtaining the liberty and pursuit of happiness that we are owed continue!

    I’m dropping some hugs off. I wish I could individually deliver them today.

    I also wanted to say thank you to F.O. and Pen for the advice on my resume/career issues. I would have responded sooner but just having to think about it makes me avoid the lounge.

    F.O.
    Thanks for the advice! I’ll need to process it for a bit.

    I read your comments, I think you are a smart person, I’d hire you.

    If only I could get potential employers to see my comments!

    Are you job seeking only within the academia or also in the industry?

    At this point either will do and I’m applying for things I’m overqualified for so I can get some recent experience for better positions elsewhere. I could be happy in both areas as well as government work.
    Where I would like to be versus where I can be is a different matter though. What I’ve learned about myself over the last five years suggests that at this point industry or government work would be best in ensuring that I now know how to effectively take TS and ADHD into account with respect to personal organization. There is knowing what you need to do to be an organized, productive and happy person, and then there is functionally implementing it. So something routine and predictable at the start like a technician doing diagnostic testing at a state health services organization might be best, followed by something similar in industry.
    But I have to be honest, I miss academia very much. While my work was solid, the efficiency was lower due to how the TS and ADHD were shaping my life and I could not conceptualize what was going on. There are extra variables in an academic setting that might raise the difficulty level of integrating changes that take TS and ADHD into account.

    Pen
    Thanks for the insights! I need to process them for a bit but on general impressions I am already doing a lot of that (approaching like just out of grad school, career objective statement similar to recent MA, themes, experience and skills instead of chronological) but you frame it usefully. The rest are things I’ve been concerned about but had no mental starting point for. Thank you.

  214. says

    CD
    I think in this particular case, the appropriate reaction is to let the parents make sure the kid eats enough and let her go. She’s obviously trying to show how grown she is. I mean, which kid didn’t want to prove that they’re already grown? Going all white feminist over them doesn’t seem like a good idea, especially since she’s obviously not forced to faste, not even expected to faste, nor gettingparental approval, but choosing to faste. BUt she’s going to bring ice cream for her birthday on Monday. I guess there are birthday exceptions in the Q’rab ;)

  216. Pen says

    Congratulations USA. I’m so glad a bunch of really shitty headlines have been drowned in something nice. Mine now say ‘Victory for America’.

  217. says

    Fuck-
    There’s been a terrorist attack in France:

    A suspected Islamist pinned the severed head of his boss to the gates of a US-owned gas factory in France Friday in what President Francois Hollande called a “terrorist” attack.

    The alleged assailant, identified as 35-year-old married father-of-three Yassin Salhi, also smashed his vehicle into the Air Products factory, causing an explosion.

    The grisly attack near France’s second city of Lyon came on an especially bloody day worldwide, with at least 37 gunned down at a beach resort in Tunisia and 25 killed in a suicide bombing in Kuwait claimed by Islamic State extremists.

    “The intent was without doubt to cause an explosion. It was a terrorist attack,” said Hollande in Brussels, cutting short an EU summit to chair emergency meetings in Paris.

    The victim was found with Arabic inscriptions scrawled on him and Islamic flags were also found on the site at the small town of Saint-Quentin-Fallavier, some 40 kilometres (25 miles) from Lyon.

    The head of the victim, a 54-year-old local businessman, was “hung onto the fence surrounded by two Islamic flags bearing the Shahada, the profession of (Muslim) faith,” said French prosecutor Francois Molins.

    The attack was the first instance in France of a beheading during an attack — which has become a trademark of the Islamic State group in Iraq and Syria.

  218. Pen says

    @Tony – 217

    There have also been other more successful ones in Tunisia and Kuwait today. It’s the new way of celebrating Ramadan apparently??!

    I was going to make a point of talking about happier things but…

    @rq – 197

    Notice how that one got labelled a terrorist attack right off the bat?

    I think it could be argued that the things we’re calling ‘terrorist attacks’ and those we’re calling ‘hate crimes’ are very similar in the way they’re often arising these days (internet based hate speech + radicalized individuals working outside of formal structures). I see both as equally horrible, but the labeling problem exists and actually cuts both ways. By refusing to call Islamist attacks hate crimes, we become unable to see the hate speech that underlies them and we find it difficult to separate Islamist hate speech from Islam in general. We become polarized and radicalized ourselves by default, and all along, we have laws to deal with hate speech, yet we’re failing to use them for this purpose.

    On the other hand, refusing to call a self-proclaimed attempt to start a race war terrorism prevents Americans from understanding that they’re still emerging from a state of established racial terrorism (slavery + Jim Crow) and aren’t all the way there yet.

  219. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    @Tony!

    Are you looking for Dewars, Balvenie, Johnny Walker Black/Blue/Green/Red/Gold, Glenfiddich, Glenlivet, J&B, or Chivas?

    Actually, I’ll take Laphroiag. Jura’s nice, too. Bruicladdich and Balvenie have some nice, mellow double-casks, though.

    Still, I’m with Logan on this one: the scotch that tastes like someone put out a cigar in your glass is the best scotch there is.

  221. Pen says

    @ 218

    It’s the new way of celebrating Ramadan apparently??!

    Okay, maybe not.

    Mehdi, a 23-year-old Muslim man who lives 100 metres from the depot, said he was furious that “these people claim to be Muslims”.

    “I am a young Muslim,” he said. “I am keeping Ramadan right now. It is Friday. To carry out this attack on a Friday during the holy month is not respectful of Islam. These people may call themselves Muslims but they are not. I say to them, you do not have the right to cut off someone’s head, you do not have the right to explode anything near our homes where our children live.

    “We have French, Turks, Arabs, Chinese, Cambodians living around here. There is no more tension than anywhere else,” Mehdi said, adding that he feared the attack would bring reprisals against the Muslim community in France.

  222. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    Ah, finally made it home, and I’m sipping a nice tankard of grog while enjoying the gnashing of teeth and whining of the bigots over today’s court decision.

    The French Terrorist decision to go after Air Products hoping for an explosion was not well thought out. Air Products sells an awful lot compressed air, nitrogen, liquid nitrogen, oxygen, and liquid oxygen (for hospitals). They are very well aware of the need for segregation. While the inert nitrogen and reactive oxygen are separated from air, the oxygen is kept separate from anything flammable. At least until both are in steel cylinders and on a truck for delivery. Since these are often at 2000-3000 psi, the steel cylinders are very strong. If they crack, the gas is usually expelled slowly, unless, like the Mythbusters, you deliberately break the neck to see if the cylinder can go through a brick wall (the answer is yes, a speeding steel cylinder can go through a brick wall).

    We have a big cryogenic liquid nitrogen tank (rented from Air Products) at work. It is used to provide an inert atmosphere during chemical processing. We can safely add flammable solvents to reactors/stills once the equipment is properly inerted.

    If you are on the road and see a cryogenic tanker truck that says LOX or liquid oxygen, keep your distance. The oxygen itself won’t burn if it spills, but it will cause things like asphalt to burn rapidly.

  223. says

    Pen

    I think it could be argued that the things we’re calling ‘terrorist attacks’ and those we’re calling ‘hate crimes’ are very similar in the way they’re often arising these days (internet based hate speech + radicalized individuals working outside of formal structures).

    So the difference between hate crimes and terrorism is like the difference between expats and emigrants?

  224. Funny Diva says

    O, hai!

    One of my friends posted this on the FaceBork, and I had to share it here:

    for those of you in a celebrating mood, may I present

    Scalia’s Tears:

    2 ounces rye whiskey
    1/4 ounce Fernet Branca
    1/4 ounce Grand Marnier or Cointreau
    Few splashes of soda or water to open it up
    Serve on the rocks, garnished with a miniature Pride flag
    It’s a bitter, Italian old fashioned, made palatable by sweet, spicy American whiskey and a fruity kick.

  226. carlie says

    I’m … not quite sure what to do with myself. This week has been amazing. I had a couple of very good professional things happen, I had a couple of really nice personal things happen, then the Supreme Court rulings and Obama’s speech today and… there hasn’t been a run of things this good this long in any time I can remember. I keep expecting there’s a shoe that will drop at some point, but in the meantime, I guess I have lots of love and spoons to give? (Perhaps even a lovin’ spoonful?)

  227. rq says

    carlie
    Actually, I like to think it’s a bit of the universe making things up for being really shitty just previous.
    And there were those terrorist attacks in Kuwait and Tunisia. (Not to burst your bubble or anything…)

  229. says

    Yay for good things, carlie

    CD
    eminds me of a recent dicussion about singe malts.
    I said that Laphroig tasted like you were licking the fireplace after a peat fire. Mr. objected “but I LIKE Laphroig”. My answer? “I never said I didn’t”

    re: terrorist attacks
    It’S amazing how we all heard about the attack in France, but not about the guy in the UK who tried to behead an Indian doctor screamin “white power”, or about the nazi mob that’s threatening a refugee home every night in east Germany

    +++
    We’re going to the Spa today. I really, really, really need a break

  230. rq says

    Speaking of the spa, I can’t find my garden shears.
    There goes my day of relaxation.

  231. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    rq,

    Check inside the bucket you use to gather the clippings. Have any rags in the store room? Check under those.

  232. carlie says

    Hm, if they were my garden shears, they would be on the surface nearest to the outside doors, either inside or outside, because I would have had them in my hand until I was walking into the house and then realized I was still carrying them so I would have just put them right down wherever.

  233. rq says

    carlie
    Those were the first places I checked, but because we recently took the doorside table outside (which would have held the shears), they were not there.
    So eventually I did check the clipping bucket (or at least the bucket wherein I put the leftover soil and fertilizer bottles plus assorted other things last time I used the shears), and then I thought to look under all the items in said bucket (as per Beatrice‘s recommendation) and… there they were!
    The day has been saved.

  235. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    That’s going to be 200€.
    Tuning that Inner Eye isn’t cheap.

  236. rq says

    Dammit Beatrice I’m putting them back somewhere else, I can’t afford your services. :(

  237. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    That’s what I get for giving the first one free. *grumpy*

  238. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    .. I mean, without the payment up front.

    (Not much of a joke when I can’t manage to get it right the first time.)

  239. Pen says

    Dallilama @223

    So the difference between hate crimes and terrorism is like the difference between expats and emigrants?

    Ha-ha… Isn’t that what Americans call a dog whistle? I ought to ask you to explain it to me but I gather it has something to do with words being allocated on the basis of race? I grew up with a fairly persistent ‘terrorist’ threat coming from the next island or mountainous region over so I’m finding it a little strange.

    I also spent my whole life in various sorts of transition between countries and surrounded by other people in such transition. It now feels like the different realities of those people’s lives are being reduced to convenient tokens in someone else’s political debate. Whereas these distinctions really do make a difference:

    expat – has a ‘home’ country and does not intend to stay in host country for more than a few years.
    immigrant – intends to stay permanently up to probably acquiring citizenship in host country asap

    From where I’m sitting, if there’s any correlation between those two types of choices and race, it’s a slight one. There are other options as well, btw, I don’t fit comfortably into either of those two categories.

  240. rq says

    Pen
    I know a lot of expats who move to a ‘host’ country to stay there permanently. They identify with their home country, participate in local home-country cultural events, and they also happen to be white.
    I know immigrants who go to a host country but never intend to acquire that country’s citizenship (perhaps permanent resident status but not citizenship). All of them have a home country with which they still identify and for some reason they still get called immigrants.
    (Maybe there is something to the permanent / non-permanent aspect of the definitions, but it’s definitely the lack or existence of a home country. And while either of your choices may not have a correlation with race as such, the application of the specific label does.)

  241. rq says

    … it’s definitely not the lack or existence of a home country [that makes a difference]… :P Important edit to comment 240.

  242. says

    re Expat vs Immigrant

    I always thought there was a wealth/class flavor to the difference. An “Expat” can afford to move back and forth at will. An “Immigrant” is poor and therefore pretty much stuck where they are. But I guess (in USA at least), that folds in white/nonwhite a lot too.

  243. says

    Oh, no. This dumb move by Texas Governor Greg Abbott is NOT going to improve public education in that state. Link.

    […] Last week, Abbott announced that he was appointing Houston Republican Donna Bahorich […] to chair the Board of Education. […]

    […] “The governor has appointed as board chair an ideologue who voted to adopt new textbooks that scholars sharply criticized as distorting American history, who rejected public education for her own family and who supports shifting tax dollars from neighborhood public schools to private and religious schools through vouchers.” […]

    Critics have become increasingly concerned that Abbott has allowed homeschooling interests to play too large a role in his decision making.

    He recently vetoed Senate Bill 359, a measure that would have allowed physicians to detain patients if they are deemed to be a risk to themselves or others, after it was opposed by the Texas Home School Coalition as an attack on parental rights.

    And here’s some information from Donna Bahorich’s LinkedIn profile, information that reveals her bias toward “Christian education”:

    […] her LinkedIn profile, includes “founder/director/board member” of Home Ed Plus, which “provides the opportunity for homeschool families and Christian teachers to come together in support of a high quality academic education for homeschooled students.” Naturally she’s also a huge supporter of charter schools. Basically any way of getting students out of public schools … the public schools for which she’ll play a major role in setting policy.

  244. Ice Swimmer (was Nakkustoppeli) says

    I don’t think I have ever answered the questionnnaire, so here goes:

    1) Cheese
    2) Peas
    3) Horses
    4 Miracle Whip

    1. Cheese is essential. Also good.
    2. Peas are for other people. I’ve gout so I can’t eat pea soup.
    3. Horses are handsome. A horse I could ride would have to have a very strong back and an even temperament. And my nose would probably run.
    4. Miracle Whip hasn’t entered my life. I’d guess it’s better so.

    I’m at the time of writing in a park (Alppipuisto in Helsinki) and there is a free music festival going on. So far there’s been some metal, some pop, some blues and other “rootsy” stuff and then country rock. Next performer will be a very well known (here) old punk and new wave artist.

    It’s very nice here. People are having fun and minding their own business.

    My best wishes for all.

  245. says

    As noted up-thread, Donald Trump is in a hole and still digging. The beauty pageants he sponsors have much bigger Latino audiences than they have in other demographics. Donald insulted Latinos with his “drug dealers and rapists” comments, then doubled down by repeating those comments, then he tripled down by suing Univision. Doesn’t sound like a good business decision to me.

    The Donald is not done. Link

    Actor Christian de la Fuente posted a video that included, “I heard what this dickhead said,” and “Fuck that puto”. Fuentes was scheduled to host the Spanish-language telecast of the Trump-sponsored pageant for Univision. The video has gone viral.

    […] Even my non-political cousin in Honduras shared it, showing how Trump’s latest craziness has jumped multiple borders. It really is a perfect summation of Latino reaction to that asshole. But that’s not all.

    […] Cutting off his pageant’s biggest growth demographic is pretty stupid. Threatening to sue the people you just called rapists and murderers is even more stupid. (Not that threatening to sue is out of the ordinary for Trump.)

    […] Univision’s Jorge Ramos, the “Latino Walter Cronkite,” wasn’t kind. Fher Olvera, front man of the mega-rock band Mana, is telling the packed audiences in his sold-out shows to watch Donald Trump and register to vote against his brand of politics […].

    Trump quadrupled down by writing to Falco at Univision:

    […] “Please be advised that under no circumstances is any officer or representative of Univision allowed to use Trump National Doral, Miami—its golf courses or any of its facilities. Also, please immediately stop work and close the gate which is being constructed between our respective properties. If this is not done within one week, we will close it.”

    In a post-script, Trump added: “Please congratulate your Mexican Government officials for having made such outstanding trade deals with the United States. However, inform them that should I become President, those days are over. We are bringing jobs back to the U.S. Also, a meaningful border will be immediately created, not the laughingstock that currently exists.”

    And Trump wants to be president of the U.S.? Actually, it is kind of amusing to see him implode like this.

  246. rq says

    Ice Swimmer
    That sounds like a very lovely sort of evening!
    Me, I’m at work, sorting through the paperwork, and wondering why half of it seems to be missing.

  247. Pen says

    @ awakeinmo -242

    I always thought there was a wealth/class flavor to the difference. An “Expat” can afford to move back and forth at will.

    There’s only a loose correlation to me. There’s a lot of people with next to no money who move temporarily to make some, or just for the experience, especially when they’re young and before they have families. Sometimes people change their minds. I married an expat and made an immigrant of him.

    Then there are people with plenty of money who are actually better placed to move permanently and sometimes do so. I have some friends in this category who feel insulted by the term expat. They feel it implies a short-termism and lack of commitment to their new country (or a lack of acceptance by their new fellow citizens, sometimes).

    I don’t count refugees/displaced people in either group in the first instance. What they’re moving away from tends to overshadow where they’ve moved to. It takes a long time for them to understand where they are and decide what they want. Often enough it’s to go home, and they spend their lives as exiles, which is a third group, isn’t it? Neither expat nor immigrant.

  248. Pen says

    Re gay marriage – Why are the southern United States so darn conservative on every single darn issue? You’d think they’d be progressive just once every now and again by sheer chance?

  249. rq says

    Pen
    How do your friends with a lot of money who move permanently elsewhere label themselves? Do they call themselves immigrants, or something else? (I find it interesting that the term ‘expat’ has the idea of ‘short term’ attached to it… I’ve certainly never thought of it that way, but that’s probably because I know a lot of expats (self-labelled) who have been outside of their home country for years. This excludes the diplomatic corps, who I’ve never thought of as either expat or immigrant – though I’d have to think where I do categorize them.)
    Also, how would you categorize economic refugees? That’s a rather… awkward term coined here during the economic crisis back in 2007 – 2008 to label those who left the country due to financial difficulties. Many of them went to Ireland and the UK to work menial jobs (cleaning, berry-picking, etc.) and are considered immigrants (there’s a strong anti-Eastern-European sentiment that is analogous to general anti-immigrants-of-colour sentiments over there). Some hope to return, others won’t be doing so – are they expats? Immigrants? (Can’t really call them exiles, though no doubt no few of them consider themselves such.)
    Compare that to me, who would most likely not be called an immigrant, probably because of the kind of employment I would be able to find for myself. (So is expat/immigrant a function of wealth/class? And how do those categories overlap elsewhere?)
    And while I do hold the citizenship of my current country, I was neither born nor raised here, but I wouldn’t have called myself an immigrant until recently – I would generally label myself an expat, even though I have every intention of staying more-or-less permanently (barring the offer of millions somewhere else, of course).

    There’s a lot of people with next to no money who move temporarily to make some, or just for the experience, especially when they’re young and before they have families.

    I usually call them ‘students’ or ‘tourists’. :D

  254. rq says

    Anne
    I only ask because where the bee sting finally got pulled out is not where I remember it going in. :/ Seemed weird, but then, my perceptive capacities may have been slightly inhibited due to a night of no-sleep at the moment of stinging. And it was a weird sting, because the bee didn’t die because I brushed it off before it finished its sting, and its insides didn’t get pulled out (though it left the barbed bit of its weapon behind) – and I know it lived, because Husband released it from the car a few hours later, flying and well.
    How are you? Tea? I’ve just put the kettle on.

  258. rq says

    Tony
    Really?
    I always feel like Sundays come alive again, esp. towards afternoon/evening.
    I guess today is the day we don’t agree. ;)

  259. Ogvorbis: failed human says

    I have a dream that someday, people in the US of A, will notice that all of the dire predictions that conservatives (and their Pravda-esque media) about things like the voting acts, EEO, legal abortion, the pill, ObamaCare, miscegenation, integration, and now gay marriage, never come true. I woke up this morning and there were no men married to dogs, I and Wife are still married, I have not suddenly ‘become’ gay, boys and girls are still dating (as are boys and boys and girls and girls) in the local schools, no preachers have been arrested for their religious convictions, the country has not descended into anarchy, we have not been smote by an impotent god, and conservatives are not going into FEMA concentration camps.

    In other news, I have a maccarone, cheese, ham, bacon, roasted sweet pepper and pea casserole in the oven.

  260. Ogvorbis: failed human says

    Okay, ether done eated it. But I copied it:

    I have a dream that someday, people in the US of A, will notice that all of the dire predictions that conservatives (and their Pravda-esque media) about things like the voting acts, EEO, legal abortion, the pill, ObamaCare, miscegenation, integration, and now gay marriage, never come true. I woke up this morning and there were no men married to dogs, I and Wife are still married, I have not suddenly ‘become’ gay, boys and girls are still dating (as are boys and boys and girls and girls) in the local schools, no preachers have been arrested for their religious convictions, the country has not descended into anarchy, we have not been smote by an impotent god, and conservatives are not going into FEMA concentration camps.

    In other news, I have a maccarone, cheese, ham, bacon, roasted sweet pepper and pea casserole in the oven.

  261. Ice Swimmer (was Nakkustoppeli) says

    rq

    Important paperwork, socks, gloves and pens always find their way to wrong places.

    Ouch. Getting stung by a bee or wasp is never fun. Is it possible that there were two bees in the car and the one missing the stinger is somewhere under the seats or mats.

    The rest of the festival mentioned at 244 was good. The veteran rocker did a very good gig and the last act was a local reggae group fronted by a trio of female singers (one played also the sax and flute beside singing). Tomorrow there is another free concert/festival in the same park.

    Is it just me or do others feel that spring, summer and music come together. Not only are there more live events but also making music is more appealing. I’ve made multiple pieces during May and June. Also because of the urges to make music it took me almost a month to listen properly through a (good) CD I bought from a merchandise stand at a show.

    The U.S. Supremes made a nice surprise in making gay marriage legal. In Finland we already have registered partnerships and they did sort of pass a bill to make marriage gender neutral before the election in April but now the new socially ultra conservative justice minister (who supports death penalty and opposes gay marriage, the former is luckily irrelevant as capital punishment is against international treaties and unconstitutional here) is making noises that introducing the next steps for marriage equality will be uncomfortable for him.

  262. Ice Swimmer (was Nakkustoppeli) says

    IMHO, conservatives seem undaunted by the actual physical threats to our way of life unless there is some “evil” other behind the threat.

  263. says

    Pen
    Sorry, that was a reference to a discussion in an earlier iteration of the Lounge, which others have partially recapped. I am terrible with names, and thus do not recall who was and wasn’t taking part in that one.

    rq
    Yes, any type of small thing stuck in your flesh can migrate as the tissues move against each other. Not all kinds of bees die after stinging, but all the ones that leave stingers in the flesh do, AFAIK. Ice Swimmer may have it, about there being 2 bees.

    Ogvorbis
    Indeed, they’ve been making almost exactly the same predictions all the way back to when they were arguing for the divine right of kings. Maybe their predictions will come true when Jesus returns?

  264. yazikus says

    Ice Swimmer, that sounds lovely! I miss summer park evenings in Helsinki, I think they are quite magical. Actually, pretty much all Finnish summer evenings are magical. I used to live in Espoo on the water and there is nothing quite like swimming out to an island in the evening with the sun still shining.

  266. says

    10,000 French pupils rebel over impossible English exam question:

    The exam, which is sat by all French pupils in their final school year (normally at 17 years old), presented a passage from Ian McEwan’s “Atonement” relating to the book’s central character, Robbie Turner.

    The notorious “Question M” asked, “What are three of his concerns about the situation?” and “How is Turner coping with the situation?”

    For many French teenagers sitting the exam on Friday, the answer was that they were not coping well at all, particularly with the word “coping” which baffled so many of them.

    After the exam, social networks in France exploded with indignation under the hashtag #BacAnglais.

    Pupil Arthur, 17, (whose family name was not given) told reporters on Monday that after the exam he spoke to a friend at a different school who also had trouble with “coping”.

    “So I launched a petition to see if others were as baffled as us, and it went viral,” he said. “Loads of people were stumped with ‘coping’. It’s obviously not a word in common usage.”

    The petition, titled “Cancel Question M”, was launched for the attention of the education minister, and called for the question to be removed or for bonus points to be given to anyone who could answer it.

    By Monday morning it had garnered just over 10,000 signatures.

    Not everyone agreed with Arthur, however. Fellow examinee Hugo Travers mocked him, tweeting: “You find one question difficult so you start a petition. Totally wrong.”

  267. broboxley OT says

    Pen #248 Atlanta Georgia annually hosts the black gay pride week. Southern Baptist convention and the auburn alabama football opening game all in the same week. In Philadelphia in the north that would burn down the city. In Atlanta we all get along sort of. There is more than one south. Glad to see that the USSC found equality this week. About time.

  268. broboxley OT says

    Tony, I am about 1 hour from pensacola, can you recommend any restaurants or bars I could visit? Have some down time every now and again and the wile and I take long drives during down time. Am in Ocean Springs MS currently.
    love the beach and the local shrimp.

  269. broboxley OT says

    wife, not wile. Gah my vision is getting worse. Starting to feel like Mr Magoo

  270. says

    broboxley @268:
    If you like whiskey, try out the Old Hickory Whiskey Bar in downtown Pensacola. The downtown area is close to the water (though not the beach) and while it’s not a terribly big area, it’s has a lot of bars and restaurants in close proximity to one another. You and your wife could start on one end and work your way down.

    One good restaurant, with lots of seafood (including shrimp) is the Fish House. It’s a popular restaurant in the city and is along the water. There is waterfront dining, with a gorgeous view of the bay. It isn’t far from downtown either.

    If you like tapas style restaurants, I recommend Global Grill. Some say it’s a little on the pricier side, so heads up on that.

    All of that is before the beach, which, to be honest, I don’t recommend. Actually that’s not fair. The beach is great. It’s the parking that is horrible. There is simply not enough for the amount of visitors. The beach area is huge, but there are a lot of businesses and homes out there, which significantly reduces parking spots. If you go, I suggest getting to the beach early in the day. A good restaurant out there is the Grand Marlin.

    If you come down on Tuesday, check out Bands on the Beach for some enjoyable music.

    Hope that helps.

  276. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    Thanks, Tony (#273,274). I read the whole article. It’s heartbreaking.

  277. says

    Beatrice @276:
    I had to take a break. I’ll read the rest when I get up in the…sometime tomorrow. BTW, if you didn’t read any of the comments (they aren’t all bad, thankfully), it was noted that Mack Ford died earlier this year.

  278. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    Tony,

    I didn’t read them.
    The story about his facility should be taken as a cautionary tale to people who want to send their children to similar homes. It’s bad enough he apparently had strong enough support to keep him afloat when social services were actively rescuing children from that place, and yet places like that can still operate without (?) government oversight.

    (rhetorical) Has there ever existed a home for “wayward” or “troubled” children that wasn’t an abusive, usually also fanatically religious hellhole?

  279. says

    Beatrice @278:
    Your question may have been rhetorical, but now I’m curious how many of these type of “homes” there are. Damn, it’s scary to think how many children could have had their childhoods and lives ruined by people like Ford.

  281. rq says

    Ice Swimmer
    Summer is music season here too, end of May festivals start popping up everywhere, 2 or 3 or even more every weekend. It’s fantastic!

    +++

    Okay, minor (maybe major) gripe. You know how you’re stuck with your family? My older brother (whom I admire most of the time) just posted a link on FB in support of Tim Hunt… So I just commented ‘Seriously?’, and he said ‘Feel free to elaborate’ but before I could (bedtime) Cousin from Australia jumped in and basically said what needed to be said, and my brother told her to read the links in his link, to see the story from the other side… I read the links (Cousin did, too) and one’s from the Daily Mail, one’s from the Independent, and I forget which one but it calls social media an echo-chamber (among other horrible phrasings), so sorry-not-sorry not taking them seriously. So I just put up a reply saying that any side that has an outraged Richard Dawkins riding to the rescue is not much of an other side at all. I don’t know how he’ll respond, but I’m so disappointed. Apparently he thinks it’s okay to make sexist jokes. (And the link was Liked by another scientist-person who I respect, a mutual friend of my brother’s and mine, and I honestly, honestly thought better of HIM.)
    Anyway. That’s the morning gripe.

  282. says

    Morning
    We had a really nice afternoon/evening/night
    Only they didn’t let us on the newly fangled camp place cause that’s only for camping cars. Apparently they’re so rich they can turn my money down. Not my problem, we could camp out in the car park like the last time.

    Tony @166
    I always take “the exams were unfair” complaints with a grain of salt. Because you always get them. Sometimes they are more than reasonable ( a few years ago we had a maths final most of the maths teachers couldn’t solve), but quite often they’re “I didn’t learn that, therefore it’s unfair to ask.” In that particular case the question is whether the word is part of the standard vocabulary and appears in textbooks or whether the kids had monolingual dictionaies.
    Believe me, nowadays parents will sue over a bad grade in an ordinary test and as a teacher you have to document that it was really, really not your fault…

  283. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    Jafafa Hots,

    I’m sorry to hear that. Body-pain kind of bad night, mind-pain kind of bad night or nothing you want to talk about?

    The Mellow Monkey,
    I’m a bit worried, you ok?

  284. says

    Beatrice 278
    AFAICT, they’re all predicated on the idea that abuse is good for ‘troubled’ teens, and the results are predictable…

    The Mellow Monkey,
    I’m a bit worried, you ok?
    This.

    Jafafa Hots
    *hugs*

  285. says

    Beatrice… tonight I got the one punch in the face after a lifetime of facepunches that was the last straw… to make me decide I will never be communicating with my mother again as long as I live.

  287. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    Jafafa Hots,

    I’m sorry. *hugs*

  292. says

    Sean Hannity interviewed people associated with the film “Heaven is for Real.”

    […] “Heaven Is for Real” gave Fox News host Sean Hannity a chance to wax pious while displaying the quasi-infantile gullibility characterizing the believers of Abrahamic superstitions. He interviewed Father and Son Burpo on his show, along with Randall Wallace, the director.

    Calling the film “a heartwarming blockbuster hit about faith and family,” Hannity first lauds Wallace, who also wrote the script for (the wildly ahistorical) Mel Gibson hit “Braveheart.” Minutes later, Hannity turns to Colton, now a teenager, who describes his “trip to heaven.”

    “Heaven is such an amazing place,” he says matter-of-factly. “You just wanna be there, for a long time. I mean, I didn’t wanna come back.”

    Hannity requests more specificity. Colton obliges with a description of what the film shows, adding that he was in heaven “physically … you do have your own body.” But “if you die an old man or an old woman, you’ll be in heaven in your prime, like late twenties, early thirties.” He says he met Jesus, in a “humanoid version, he’s the one you can relate to, because he loves you so much,” but he’s a humanoid you can walk with and talk to. What, asks Hannity earnestly, did God’s only begotten humanoid tell him? “God has not allowed me to remember what Jesus has taught me,” Colton replies flatly.

    Hannity then segues to the Lord, and asks Colton what He’s like.

    “Well, God the father is just so huge. There’s nothing to compare Him to. He’s big enough to fit the whole world in His hand.”

    “How can you see that? You actually saw that?”

    “Honestly, I don’t know how to describe it.”

    For affirmation, Hannity turns to Burpo père, who offers the jarringly untrue, self-serving observation that “when you have a four year-old, there’s no way that they have the capacity to take you on long journeys, and make up things, and you not to be able to know that they’re making it up.” He then blurbs the flick: “I think this movie will do great because you’re gonna see in this little boy on the screen pretty much what I saw eleven years ago.”

    “Does everybody go to heaven?” Hannity asks Colton.

    “No, not everybody does go to heaven.” Why? “Everybody there loved Jesus … once we love Jesus, it’s easier to let [material things] go, and we can enter heaven.”

    Having expressed not an iota of skepticism, Hannity ends the interview.

    The evangelicals who raised such a fuss about l’affaire Burpo were obviously right to do so. Now they would do well take a close look at their own beliefs. Faith-derangement syndrome is, after all, a folie à deux, and they suffer from it as well. But a little clear-headed adult thinking would cure it in no time.

    As for “Heaven Is for Real,” nothing will redeem it.

    http://www.salon.com/2015/06/28/sean_hannity_very_bad_critic_fox_news_sony_sarah_palin_pal_help_hit_movie_prey_on_the_gullible/

  294. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    Huh.

    I hadn’t noticed Daz hasn’t been around, but just last night I was thinking about both TMM and Saad and hoping they were okay.

    I’m assuming there’s just a lot of meat in meatspace right now, but if it goes on much longer – especially for TMM – I’ll start to think less optimistic thoughts.

  295. says

    Can you feel it coming? All that extra time?

    NASA is adding a leap second to the month of June. The earth’s rotation is slightly slowed down. We have 86,400.002 seconds per day rather than 86,400 seconds, so we have to make an adjustment.

    The Leap Seconds keep clocks synced with the Sun as measured by earth’s rotation on its axis. The first leap second was added in 1972, and since then we’ve added 25. Earth’s rotation doesn’t slow at a constant rate, so it’s all a big deal to measure it correctly.

    https://what-if.xkcd.com/26/

  296. says

    Lynna @ 295,

    Oh, that explains it. All week I’ve been feeling like it should be an hour later than it really is, and I keep checking to see if it’s time for lunch yet. It’s NASA’s fault for adding that extra time. And here I was thinking it was because I had to get up so early.

    I just got to observe one of our backyard squirrels as it found its cache in the lawn and retrieved one of the peanuts we put out several weeks ago.

  297. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    But they have to take seconds out occasionally as well, right?

    I seem to recall that after a major earthquake (Aceh? the one causing the big Indian Ocean Boxing Day tsunami? Or maybe it was a big one in Chile.) relieved a bulge along a subduction fault. By having so many tons of crust slip a few meters closer to earth’s center of gravity our rotational speed measurably increased to maintain angular momentum, like a skater pulling in arms during a spin.

    But I don’t remember for sure if the speed increase was enough to require a skip-second.

  299. says

    As the xkcd link explains, earthquakes can make a small difference in earth’s rotation, but not enough to get rid of our need for adding leap seconds. We would have to bombard the earth nearly constantly with small asteroids, at the right angle, to make a difference. Probably not a good plan.

    Anne, your brain is not all that good in perceiving time, nor is anyone’s brain.
    http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/wonkblog/wp/2015/06/11/scientists-have-discovered-why-the-return-trip-always-feels-shorter-than-the-trip-there/

    I still maintain that we all feel the disturbance when NASA adds that leap second on June 30th, Tuesday.

  300. carlie says

    House math:

    1 broken sink trap pipe =

    1 hour on internet finding it’s not up to code
    1 trip to store to price out everything needed to bring to code
    1 more hour on internet finding out it doesn’t have to be brought up to code, and in fact can’t without a whole lot more work
    1 trip to store to buy everything needed for the replacement
    15 minutes of wrestling with slip nuts to realize a pipe wrench is needed
    1 trip to store to buy pipe wrench
    40 minutes to never get the slip nuts loose, end up tearing the metal pipes apart while trying
    1 instance of wondering if tetanus shot is up to date
    10 minutes trying to get the top nut loose, realize it will never happen so won’t be replacing that part
    5 minutes of agony upon realizing all parts purchased are 1/4″ smaller than the diameter needed
    1 trip to store to buy the right sized parts
    30 more minutes getting all of the pieces to fit correctly
    1 trip to store to return all unused and incorrectly sized parts

  301. Ogvorbis: failed human says

    carlie:

    You have my sympathy. I once spent almost an hour hunched over a toilet using a dremel cut-off tool to remove the mount for the flush handle which was mounted with the nut part against the porcelain and the built-in and attached washer blocking the nut flats.

  302. says

    Here are some OMG moments from the past, moments that illustrate how deep racial divides and racism in general permeated the presidency of Woodrow Wilson (1912, 28th President of the U.S.):

    […] When Wilson came to Washington he quickly instituted a purge of African-American federal workers in Washington and around the country. Where purges weren’t possible, federal workplaces were re-segregated, often with surreal and hideous results. Even more than Wilson, Wilson’s wife Ellen, a Georgia native, was a visceral racist who was shocked to see the limited level of integration then in place in the nation’s capital. She was reportedly especially disgusted to see black men and white women working in the same workplaces and took a personal role in pushing forward resegregation in Washington, DC.

    Numerous African-American federal workers were fired, in many cases by white Southern Democratic appointees. The Post Master General and the Treasury Secretary both re-segregated their departments and gave supervisors free rein to fire African American employees at will. In Atlanta, 35 African-American postal workers were summarily fired. Similarly stories took place throughout the country. Wilson’s Collector of Internal Revenue in Georgia said in 1913, “There are no Government positions for Negroes in the South. A Negroes place is in the cornfield.”

    Significantly, not only did Wilson’s Southern backers see his election as an opportunity to remove the little remaining federal intrusions on the race relations in the South. They also saw it as an opportunity to expand them into the North, where many believed, with some reason, they would find a welcome reception among Northern whites. Federal workplaces introduced separate bathroom and eating facilities for African-American employees. But in many cases, it was simply not possible to create the physical infrastructure of segregation quickly enough or at all, a fact which lead to bizarre workarounds. According to W.E.B. Du Bois, in workplaces where black employees could not be separated from white employees because of the nature of the work, special cages were built for black employees within white workplaces. Really. […]

  304. rq says

    Yep, my brother went and said Tim Hunt has been burned at the stake. *sigh*

    *hugs* and *higs* all ’round!

  305. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    Carlie #300, I’ve had days like that. I have some plastic calipers from a cheap set that make sizing pipes and the like much easier. If I can remember where I last put them…

  306. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    rq,

    Tell your brother that’s terrible news, and you wouldn’t have been so callously badmouthing Hunt had you known.

    .. or don’t. *hugs*

  307. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    Typical day here at Casa la Pelirroja. The Redhead has decided I want some pastichio, so I’m in the process of making some for the planned over meal of the week. I can’t get her to acknowledge she is the one who really wants some. Yes, I often get it at the Greek Fest at the local Greek Orthodox church, but if I really wanted it, I would have made it (recipes are on the internet), or asked for it. She spent a lot of time trying to get Maria Menounous’ grandmother’s recipe, and finally cobbled one together. I’m just a guinea pig as cook, bottle washer, and eater.

  308. carlie says

    rq – ugh. It’s always so hard to figure out what to do. This essay might be a good read now.

    And there is the denial about engaging in misogyny, even when it’s evident, even when it’s pointed out gently, softly, indulgently, carefully, with goodwill and the presumption that it was not intentional. There is the firm, fixed, unyielding denial—because it is better and easier to imply that I’m stupid or crazy, that I have imagined being insulted by someone about whom I care (just for the fun of it!), than it is to just admit a bloody mistake. Rather I am implied to be a hysteric than to say, simply, I’m sorry.

    Not every man does all of these things, or even most of them, and certainly not all the time. But it only takes one, randomly and occasionally, exploding in a shower of cartoon stars like an unexpected punch in the nose, to send me staggering sideways, wondering what just happened.

    Well. I certainly didn’t see that coming…

    These things, they are not the habits of deliberately, connivingly cruel men. They are, in fact, the habits of the men in this world I love quite a lot.

    All of whom have given me reason to mistrust them, to use my distrust as a self-protection mechanism, as an essential tool to get through every day, because I never know when I might next get knocked off-kilter with something that puts me in the position, once again, of choosing between my dignity and the serenity of our relationship.

    Swallow shit, or ruin the entire afternoon?

    Also, update to that post

    And it’s taken a good long time for him to wrap his head around the fact that another part of that privilege is having control over which direction we go when he says/does something sexist and I point it out to him.

    There are infinite possibilities of how to react: He could be defensive. He could refuse to hear me. He could try to insist I judge him on his intent, rather than the actual effect of his words/actions. He could accuse me of imagining things. He could imply that I’m crazy. He could turn it around on me. He could behave belligerently, childishly, furiously. He could storm out. He could stand in one place and stomp his feet. He could shout. He could demand a divorce. He could buy a one-way ticket to Rio. He could throw spaghetti. He could challenge me to a duel.

    Or he can listen. Take on board what I’m saying and acknowledge how I feel. And then we can get on with the day.

    It is a privilege that he gets to decide. And it is a privilege I recognize, because it is also operative for me, when my privilege is challenged—my white privilege, my straight privilege, my cis privilege. I have the same privilege, just in different situations.

    Listen, or ruin the entire afternoon?

  310. says

    rq
    So the poor guy has been literally brutally murdered for something that actually doesn’t exist?

    +++
    Jafafa Hots
    My sympathies and *hugs* if you want them. Don’t let anybody tell you some bullshit about blood being thicker than water or that crap.

    +++
    There can’t be too much sparkle on an 8 year old’s birthday dress, right?
    Right?
    RIGHT?

  311. says

    rq:
    Any plans on how to deal with your brother?

    ****

    Giliell @310:

    There can’t be too much sparkle on an 8 year old’s birthday dress, right?
    Right?
    RIGHT?

    Nope (certainly not today, the 46th anniversary of the Stonewall Uprising).

    ****
    ::waves at CaitieCat for no reason other than just because::

  312. rq says

    Tony
    No plans. We had some exchanges and he actually believes that Tim Hunt has been (metaphorically?) destroyed. He talked about ‘disproportionate response’ but he keeps using words like ‘torn to shreds’, ‘doused in gasoline and set on fire’, etc. He really thinks Hunt was bullied out of his jobs. … But he couldn’t point to any specific instance. Oh, and his remarks were ‘satirical’. For which he was ‘branded’ a terrible misogynist and sexist. (Personally, I believe people have been focussing on what he said and his inability to face up to it, but I dunno.)

    Thanks for those links, carlie, those are excellent! Though considering my brother’s response, I doubt he believes that the sexism (in this case) was pointed out politely or calmly.

    Beatrice
    Ha, yeah, I told him I’d call off the dogs. Actually, I didn’t say that. He ended the conversation by saying ‘internet funtime is over’, so NOW I can’t figure out if he was baiting me. Or what.

    I think at this point I don’t care. But in the Okay News category, I doubt this will change any essential part of our relationship. Except, you know, that I’ll never bring up any discussions about sexism or probably other forms of bigotry in front of him.

    Thanks, all.

    Giliell
    More sparkle can always be had. MORE! MORE!!! :)
    Will pictures be available? Will I need my sunglasses?

  314. says

    Lynna @299, apparently I’m no good at joking, either. :P

    Here are more hugs for those in need of same.

    Currently it is 96°, 27% rh, mostly cloudy. I’m getting to rather dislike the weather in my native state…

  316. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    I’m starting to hunt for an apartment, this time for real. Students are going home for the summer, so now’s the best opportunity to find decent places relatively cheap.
    I already have some candidates and I’ll call them tomorrow to check some things and if that doesn’t eliminate them, try to organize at least one apartment seeing tomorrow.

    Wish me luck. Mum is already guilt tripping me because I’m looking for apartments in another part of town.

  317. says

    I’m sure someone here who would want to know probably hasn’t heard, and doesn’t want to, that Chris Squire of Yes died yesterday. He was 67. Cause of death was leukemia, which had only been diagnosed a month ago.

  318. Owen says

    @Jafafa Hots – it’s been 6 years since we cut off contact with my mother in law. One of the best decisions we ever made.

    On the topic of immigrant vs expat, I feel like you’re an expat if you primarily maintain relations with others of your nationality as a matter of privilege, as opposed to being forced to due to discrimination from the host country. I consider myself an immigrant, although being in every way a poster child for privilege I could definitely become an expat should I so desire.

    I lurk mostly and post very occasionally, but since it’s a numerically significant thread and I think I’ve read all off them going back to Titanoboa! I should probably take the quiz too…

    Cheese – MOAR! the smellier the better.
    Horses – Not for me please, I’m full of cheese. Also I don’t like the idea of transportation with a mind of its own.
    Peas – peas are fine, but I won’t go out of my way to find them
    Miracle Whip – should go the way of theological miracles and become nonexistent. Quickly, please.

    Since I don’t post much I’m only really comfortable with offering you all long-range non-contact Jedi hugs, if you’re ok with that. But I’d like to mention that I admire you all for your wit and bloody-minded tenacity. Long may your fangs be sniny.

  321. says

    Thanks, everyone.

    I wish I could be a writer, because man would I have story to tell.
    Maybe I’ll make a clumsy YouTube video about it some day. Ripped from the headlines! etc.

  322. says

    Morning
    Took the little one for blood test.
    Let’S see if they find something.

    rq

    More sparkle can always be had. MORE! MORE!!! :)
    Will pictures be available? Will I need my sunglasses?

    Yes.
    Probably.

    beatrice
    Yay for the hunt. Ignore your mum.

    chigau
    I’m with you there

    Hi Owen

    +++
    expats vs. immigrants
    I always have Brits living in Spain voting for Ukip in front of my mental eye.

  323. rq says

    So today I get to take Middle Child to the stomatology institute to see what they can do about his 8 cavities.
    (a) I hate have an irrational fear of doctors (esp. when it’s more than one at once) but Husband has oodles of work, so he’ll accept the two endchildren while I take Middle Child;
    (b) there’s no actual time we have to arrive, it’s a first-come-first-served system from 2PM to 3.30PM, so we could end up being there for an hour and a half during the day’s most exhausting time (when we usually have downtime at home);
    (c) the institute is in the one area of the City where I always get lost, without fail, maps or no, I always get lost in that area of the City, and now I’m terrified that we’ll be late and won’t get called in at all.

    *sigh*
    I think I’m mostly hampered by my nervousness due to impending proximity to medical professionals. Middle Child is excited to have his teeth looked at. So I hope my anxiety doesn’t rub off on him.

  324. rq says

    Also, good luck to Beatrice in the apartment hunt, sounds like it’s prime season! Oh, and ignore your mum. Go you!

    Hello, Owen, and thanks for being proactive on the questionnaire!! :D Too bad, it still gets you the comfy chair just for the first day.

    Fuck cancer, indeed.

  325. says

    Anyone up for a good laugh?
    Conservative Princeton student whines about ‘left-wing privilege’ in new column.

    ****

    I’m heading to bed. Gotta get up early and continue the job search. I really hope I can find something soon, as it’s rent time all over again. Stressing out over money fucking sucks.
    (so does being stuck at home all the damn time; especially with an air conditioner that doesn’t function well, which sucks in summertime here in Florida)

  326. bassmike says

    Good luck rq . I hope you find your destination and that middle child gets his cavities sorted.

    Sorry that I’ve been away all weekend. I’d loved to be here and share a drink with everyone, but I couldn’t. So, after lunch today, I’ll go and sit at the bar again and anyone is welcome to join me.

    Weekends are always rather full on. This one has not been great to be honest. I shall explain (skip if you’re not interested in parent related stuff):

    Yesterday my daughter had been very good and played very well for quite a while with me. My wife promised her something special to eat and so when my wife started to prepare her some fairly boring biscuits first my daughter was not happy. This resulted in my wife being angry and storming off. This left we with an angry wife upstairs and a distraught daughter downstairs. I decided but to stay and comfort my daughter. But I had the problem that I couldn’t give her anything nice to eat as this would undermine my wife’s authority. Fortunately, my daughter soon recovered, but I’m concerned that some of the things my wife says in anger to my daughter may give her a complex as she gets older and understands more. Anyway, I feel terrible.

    Also, the passing of Chris Squires is a sad loss to me. Fuck cancer.

  328. bassmike says

    Thanks WMDkitty that’s the way I felt. For goodness sake the girl is only three! She hasn’t developed the nuance of ‘I’ll have a biscuit, then my treat’. I felt like giving her the treat anyway, but then it sends mixed messages and would have pissed my wife off. All I could do was to hug my daughter and tell her it would be okay.

  329. says

    rq
    Hope everything goes well

    bassmike
    First, hugs
    SEcond: Lengthy advice to follow, so feel free to skip and tell me to STFU if you just want the hugs.

    First, let me say that I understand your wife’s frustration. Really, I do. You spend an hour in the kitchen, preparing dinner, preparing the very dinner they asked for that morning and when you serve it they tell you “I want a sandwich!” Ungrateful brats they can be.
    But I think you already noticed that your wife’s reaction was not the most mature one.
    Actually, I think the concrete example may simply have been communication fail. Your wife said something special, and your daughter heard someting special and both thought of different things. So your wife probably made the biscuits expecting an expression of happiness (and we all know how good a hug and a “thank yoooooouuuuuu” from our kids make us feel) and your daughter expected something completly different, so she was disappointed.
    It is important that our children are allowed to express disappointment and also anger. They are not there to validate our feelings, which is merely a pleasant side effect when it happens.
    What your wife did was not good, and if she makes a habit of this, she may do your daughter harm. She’s probably the most important person in her life right now. She is totally dependent on her, on her love and acceptance. she must be safe in that. Storming off because your daughter did not show the expected reaction takes away that safety. It is something my own mother did: take away her love. If you’Re at risk of losing your mother’s love, you’ll do anything. With time, showing the expected reaction becomes much more important than showing your real reaction to the point you can no longer even tell your real reaction. But you’ll look happy, because not looking happy is not allowed.
    It takes away defense mechanisms. What is she going to say to her boyfriend or girlfriend later if they want (her) to do something she doesn’t really like?
    That’S not going to happen if she does it once. Heavens know we all fuck up from time to time. But I think your gut feeling tells you that this is not good already, so I want to validate your feeling.
    This is not an irrevocable doom hanging over your head, you, as a family, can change that.
    MOar hugs.

  331. gobi's sockpuppet's meatpuppet says

    I have just been told, that during the world-wide wave of people putting rainbow colours on their Facebook profile photos, our beloved Prime Minister put bands of grey on his.
    You know.. He could have just done nothing to register his disagreement…

  332. bassmike says

    Thanks for your advice Giliell . You make some excellent points I’ve spoken to my wife previously about some of the things she says to my daughter in anger, but she still does it. So often now she leaves me to deal with my daughter. It’s especially difficult when my wife won’t explain what the problem is and I’m left with a sobbing daughter and I don’t know whether I should be telling her off too, or whether I should console her. Sometimes it feels like I can’t win. It’s not helping my mental state at the moment.

  333. carlie says

    Good luck, Beatrice!

    Hugs to Jafafa Hots.

    rq, best wishes. I feel for you!

    bassmike, I agree with everything Giliell said. I’ve lost my temper with my kids a lot, but I try to apologize after – even when they were little, I did. Even if it was the next day before I could bring myself to do so. I think it’s important to let kids see that even adults struggle with emotion, that we don’t always get our reactions right, and to model what to do when that happens. And especially with younger kids, it’s important for them to see that it’s not them you’re mad at, it’s the situation, and that it’s not ok to take your feelings out on someone. Usually takes the form of “I’m sorry I yelled at you for x. I was upset because y and z had already happened, so when you did c, it made me feel like d and that was the last thing that made me lose my temper. I was wrong to treat you like that, and I will try not to do so again.” If what they did was legitimately bad too, I’ll tack on an explanation of how doing x makes people feel bad/is wrong because/etc so don’t do that either. I’m not sure if they always cared, but it did sometimes open up a dialogue between us. Sometimes they would also apologize because they had their own q/r/s things going on then I didn’t know about that was upsetting them and that’s why they acted out and did x, or would feel free to open up and tell me how much what I did hurt them so as to make me apologize more and at least lose my temper differently the next time so as not to hit that trigger.

    If it was the other parent who blew up at them inappropriately, that’s a little harder. In the moment and after I’d empathize with them that it’s ok to be upset with being treated that way, but dad could be mad at a lot of other things, and one thing you have to learn in life is how to deal with other people and their emotions (and one good rule of survival is LEAVE THEM ALONE SO THEY CAN CALM DOWN THEMSELVES). Then dad would usually come talk with them about it later, or I’d prompt it by letting him know how much his reaction scared/upset them. It’s tough.

  334. says

    I have some very nice hugs here. I’ll just let you help yourself and apply them where they are needed most.

    It’s hot and humid, 70° by the patio thermometer and it isn’t even light outside yet. It’s going to be one of those days when the air is like soup.

  335. rq says

    bassmike
    Sounds like you got the best of the advice from carlie and Giliell.
    One small thing I would like to add, too, is if your wife seems to be having a habit of storming off or having very little patience, maybe you need to talk to her, too – not about the behaviour, but about the reasons for it. Is she extra stressed? Is she finding it difficult to deal with a small child (and at 3, some days they’re soooo smart and then the next you wonder if they crawled out of the barrel just that morning)? This does not make her behaviour okay, but if she’s having difficulties coping with anything that’s causing overarching stress, and that’s overflowing into her relationship with her daughter, then there needs to be a way to help her out – dunno, rearranging schedules, validating her feelings, anything.
    *hugs*

    +++

    That was the most anxiety-inducing, anti-climactic trip ever. Of course I got lost, but right away found the right road again. We got there early enough to be before the allotted time, but we were still 10th… fortunately the line moved quickly. Then we got in to see the dentist, and she looks at Middle Child’s teeth, and then she looks at me and she’s like, Why are you here? Can he behave at the dental hygienist’s? If yes, get these teeth fixed at the dentist. Go 8 times if you have to.
    So it was all pointless. *sigh* Now I have to have a discussion with our dentist about fixing MC’s teeth the regular way after all (truth be told I’m relieved about that, because anaesthetic and small children and UGH). Which means figuring out a bribery schema that will ensure that Middle Child will sit still at the dentist’s for up to 8 times.

  336. says

    rq 335

    Which means figuring out a bribery schema that will ensure that Middle Child will sit still at the dentist’s for up to 8 times.

    Try guns. It seems to work here in the States.

  337. rq says

    ajb47
    There’s so many ways I could apply that idea.
    Sadly, our household is a gun-free environment.

  338. says

    Urgh
    Can you believe I’ve been running errands for hours?
    Including a trip to get my ID renewed.
    “You can save your fingerprints on the new IDs. No advantages or disadvantages for you!” No thanks. Really, you shouldn’t.
    Went to see my aunt. Not looking good, not looking bad either.

    +++
    bassmike
    There’s two sentences I use with hopefully great success:
    1. I’m sorry that you’re hurt/angry/upset.
    That’S not a nopology but simply a recognistion of their emotions. It’s true. Even when I think they’re 100% worng, I still don’t want them to hurt.
    2. I’m angry/upset right now. I need to calm down.
    It puts the focus on me, not on them.
    Maybe they could help yur wife to manage better, too. And as rq says, it’s important to find out why she is so stressed out as well.

    +++
    rq
    I’m glad everything went fine. Urgh for bad teeth. I unfortunately have them as well…

  342. says

    Yay! I hope this ruling has a positive effect. Theoretically, it should reduce the gerrymandering of voting districts. Gerrymandering is a blatantly partisan effort of state legislators to reduce the impact of votes cast for opposing parties/candidates and to increase the impact of votes cast for whatever party is in power.

    The Supreme Court ruled Monday that an independent commission created by Arizona voters to draw congressional and state legislative districts is constitutional. The ruling will make it much easier for states to find ways to stop partisan lawmakers from drawing districts in a way that benefits their party.

    By 5-4, the justices ruled that the Constitution allows state to cut their legislatures out of the redistricting process.

    As you may have guessed, Ginsburg, Breyer, Sotomayor, Kennedy, and Kagan dominated the ruling.
    http://www.msnbc.com/msnbc/supreme-court-decision-arizona-redistricting

  343. Pteryxx says

    rq re dentist: can they provide a video for the kid to watch? My dentist in the US did that to keep kids still and calm.

    bassmike: I’m sorry, and I have no specific advice but to look to Libby Anne’s blog for her many many posts on parenting with negotiation and mutual respect with the child. (latest)

  344. says

    Filling up the hugs bowl.

    I’m putting some draft posts on hold so I can finally get to a writing project that I’ve been needing to get to because I want to turn it into a presentation for local TS groups, how I think the Tourette’s advantages functionally work. Unfortunately all of the articles that I have found so far talk to athletes. Now I’m glad that athletes with TS have found a way to use their advantages, but I need go beyond just physical benefits. I have a historical figure and think I can make a good argument there, but I need at least one more data point today.

    At least with the autism benefits there are a bunch of articles that talk about attention to detail and categorization (come to think of it that makes me wonder what autism does physically).

    @Jafafa Hots
    I’m sorry to hear about your mother. I hope things end up good in the end.

    @rq
    Sorry about your brother. I hope we find good ways to get these people to feel pressure to actually be specific. This situation is making me hate metaphors, analogies and similar because it always seems there is nothing there when you figure out what they are talking about and that process can take a while.

    I hope the doctor went well.

    @Giliell
    Boo for errands.

  345. rq says

    Thanks, Brony. Re: the brother, when the conversation wound down last night, I had a suspicious feeling that he was actually baiting me and trolling a bit, with the constant use of metaphors… Which makes me think that using such inflammatory and empty metaphors can also be a specific tool used to rile people up, to have them respond emotionally, and then dismiss them due to an excess of emotion.
    And even if he was trying to have fun with me (from his side, of course), I’m still not certain he wasn’t serious, which leaves a rather unpleasant, lingering unease.
    In addition to that, I don’t like being used for someone’s amusement.

    Pteryxx
    Nah, no videos or movies, but she’s really good with kids in general, she lets them press the buttons and hold the little vaccuum-suck thingies that remove saliva, little things like that. :) They end up feeling like astronauts (or at least, that’s how they explained it to me!).

    bassmike
    (Feel free not to read this, it’s just me not minding my own business.)
    If it seems like a lot to try and talk to your wife about your stress, just remember that it’s not always easy for a woman (married) with kids to be able to admit that yes, she’s having trouble coping with the parenting aspect of her oh-so-biologically-set womanhood. I suppose I was in somewhat similar straits a couple years ago or so. I yelled at the kids a lot, apologized a lot, and shit got done, but I wasn’t happy. Husband kept going on about ‘why are you so stressed, everything is fine’, and then when we actually talked in depth about that – about how no, I’m not fine, because I’m not coping – he told me that in his view, I was coping perfectly well, as things were getting done, so what was the problem? Repeat several times, and things always stopped there, because I just wasn’t emotionally capable of continuing the conversation. How could I, things were fine!!!
    But yes, eventually, I had to explain to him that no, I’m not coping, because I’m yelling at the kids too much, and even I’m noticing. And I didn’t really know how to stop doing that, because talking to Husband felt like he was dismissing my very real feelings (which he kind of was, really), and in addition to that, I felt like an abject failure as a mother because I wasn’t able to cope properly with my very own children, never mind that I was trying to balance a whole slew of other things on top of that.
    So it was a pretty big deal to (a) be able to tell Husband that and (b) to admit that no I wasn’t coping, and that’s okay, and that it’s okay to involve him and sort things out (or ask for a break or whatever). But it took a lot to get to the point where I was able and okay with articulating that, even to my own Husband.
    So I guess that’s just kind of a heads-up, if you will.
    In other words, best of luck. *hugs*

  346. says

    bassmike:
    You appear to have gotten a good bit of advice from people far more qualified to weigh in on issues of parenting than myself. I did want to offer a suggestion for a possible way to communicate with your wife on regarding this situation-
    Write her a letter.
    Writing your thoughts down can allow you to cover everything you want to say. It can also allow you to choose your words in such a way that the potential for misunderstanding or hurt feelings is minimized. You could write a short letter covering your thoughts and offering to discuss the matter with her when she is ready.

    A letter also has the benefit of something she can read and digest when she feels like it.

    One of the main benefits I have found from writing letters (in addition to the read & digest point above, which I think is big) is that conversations often take detours, or you forget points you wanted to bring up. A letter allows you to cover everything you want.

    Just a thought. I hope I’m not being intrusive and overstepping any boundaries here. Apologies if I am.

  347. says

    This is a followup to comment #342:

    “The people of Arizona turned to the initiative to curb the practice of gerrymandering,” Ginsburg wrote. “In so acting, Arizona voters sought to restore ‘the core principle of republican government,’ namely, ‘that the voters should choose their representatives, not the other way around.'”

    You rock, you absolutely rock, Notorious RBG.

  349. rq says

    If anyone ever, ever, ever uses age as a reason for someone’s faulty faculties (in making bad jokes, etc.), I shall point them towards the notoriously Notorious RGB* and say, This is what an 82-year-old brain can still do, so no, age is not an excuse.

    (* I mean, along with all the other septua- and octo- and nono- (?) genarians I know and have known with incredibly sharp mental acumen and progressive thinking.)

  350. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    Well, I’ve looked at many ads, but the first apartment I organized a tour off is perfect.
    I have this thing where I’m very indecisive, but on occasions I find something I like immediately and then there’s no other for me. I think a place would have to have an amazing balance of price and quality to best this one, in my mind.

    – The price is reasonable – I could find something cheaper, but probably not this nice
    – Fairly new building, looks like good isolation
    – Gas, water,.. .everything is payed per usage
    – All the needed electronics in the apartment (there’s just no internet, but that’s easy to solve)
    – it has a balcony!
    – close to the workplace and well connected with the city centre
    – close enough to public transport, but not on a busy road
    – nice landlord, in fact I’m worried whether she liked me
    – a good kitchen – many cheaper student apartments have crappy kitchens

  351. says

    Beatrice, you will enjoy that balcony. Excellent.

    Tony @348, I’m worried too. I think some SCOTUS judges took that case just so that they can dump affirmative action.

    Some background:

    As President Lyndon Johnson said in 1965, “You do not take a person who, for years, has been hobbled by chains and liberate him, bring him up to the starting line of a race and then say you are free to compete with all the others, and still just believe that you have been completely fair.”

    President Johnson’s speech eloquently stated the rationale behind the contemporary use of affirmative action programs to achieve equal opportunity, especially in the fields of employment and higher education.

    The emphasis is on opportunity: affirmative action programs are meant to break down barriers, both visible and invisible, to level the playing field, and to make sure everyone is given an equal break. They are not meant to guarantee equal results — but instead proceed on the common-sense notion that if equality of opportunity were a reality, African Americans, women, people with disabilities and other groups facing discrimination would be fairly represented in the nation’s work force and educational institutions.

    The debate over affirmative action demarcates a philosophical divide, separating those with sharply different views of the “American dilemma” — how the nation should treat African Americans, other people of color and women. This division centers on a number of questions: to what extent discrimination and bias persist, especially in a systemic way; to what degree affirmative action programs have been effective in providing otherwise unavailable opportunities in education, employment, and business; and to what extent affirmative action programs appear to unduly benefit African Americans and other people of color at the expense of the white majority. […]

    http://www.civilrights.org/resources/civilrights101/affirmaction.html

  353. says

    This is a followup to comments 77, 100, 173, 175, 178, and 245.

    NBC has joined Univision in dumping Donald Trump.

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/donald-trump-nbc-universal

    At NBC, respect and dignity for all people are cornerstones of our values.
    Due to the recent derogatory statements by Donald Trump regarding immigrants, NBC is ending its business relationship with Mr. Trump.

    To that end, the annual Miss USA and Miss Universe Pageants, which are part of a joint venture between NBC and Trump, will no longer air on NBC .

    In addition, as Mr. Trump has already indicated, he will not be participating in “The Celebrity Apprentice” on NBC.

    “Celebrity Apprentice” is licensed from Mark Burnett’s United Artists Media Group and that relationship will continue.

  354. says

    Yes, the Supreme Court ruling on marriage equality broke Alabama Chief Justice Roy Brown. With spittle flying, Judge Roy Brown said a lot of stupid stuff.

    Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore, who has vehemently opposed same-sex marriage in his state, broke down over the weekend after the Supreme Court ruled that gay couples have the right to marry.

    “Just who do they think they are when one person can reverse 200-and-something years of precedent in our country and thousands of years of precedent in western civilization,” Moore said on Sunday while speaking at the Kimberly Church of God’s “God and Country Day,” […]

    “Welcome to the new world. It’s just changed for you Christians. You are going to be persecuted according to the U.S Supreme Court dissents,” he said.

    “Is there such a thing as morality anymore?” Moore continued. “Sodomy for centuries was declared to be against the laws of nature and nature’s God. And now if you say that in public, and I guess I am, am I violating somebody’s civil rights? Have we elevated morality to immorality? Do we call good, bad? What are we Christians to do?”[…]

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/roy-more-supreme-court-gay-marriaeg

  355. says

    Interesting analysis:

    […]To accept same-sex marriage is to accept this modern idea that marriage is about love and partnership, instead of about dutiful procreation and female submission. Traditional gender roles where husbands rule over wives are disintegrating and that process is definitely helped along by these new laws allowing that marriage doesn’t have to be a gendered institution at all. […]

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/cafe/gay-marriage-scotus-ross-douthat-oppression-vs-love

  356. says

    Uh, ummm, this train has certainly derailed. Do you know any gay people who are forcing you to have sex with them?

    On “WallBuilders Live” today, Arkansas pastor Tim Brooks spent most of the program saying that America today is just like Sodom and Gomorrah in which militant gays seek to force Christians to participate in their sin.

    “Here is the only thing that will satisfy this agenda, and it’s very clear: participation,” Brooks declared. “We want you to come out of your house and participate with us … Lot never tried to force his lifestyle on them, he never even brought that up. They are trying to force their lifestyle on him, come out and have sex with us, have to participate. They’re going to force participation and that’s what we’re seeing around the country.” […]

    Link

    That’s one strange fantasy you’ve got there, Pastor Tim.

  357. Rowan vet-tech says

    Lot never tried to force his lifestyle on them? But didn’t he offer up his daughters for gang rape instead of participating? Doesn’t that mean he *was* trying to force his lifestyle… on top of being an appalling character?

  358. rq says

    Yay Beatrice!
    I hope the place is as good as it sounds, and doesn’t run up huge heating bills in the winter. :)
    When do you move?

  359. carlie says

    I would like to see everyone who railed against the Supreme Court last week now say that EPA regulations should hold, because what the Supreme Court says doesn’t mean anything. What? That’s what they just said a few days ago!

  360. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    rq,

    Not yet. I couldn’t really go for the very first place I looked at, although now I’m worried the landlord will find someone else.

    Would it be stupid to call her tomorrow to confirm my seriousness about the place, and explain I just want to look a bit more to be sure?

  363. rq says

    … But if you really want to look some more (though it certainly sounds as if you’ve done your research), then definitely give the landlady a call and let her know that you are very serious about taking the apartment. Maybe set a short time limit (such as three days) that give you a chance to look around but that isn’t a burden on the landlady.
    Just don’t overthink it. If it’s a good catch, it’s probably a good catch, and there’s no sense in worrying yourself over the fact that something that much better may have appeared. :)

  364. Morgan!? ♥ ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ says

    beatrice,
    Take the apartment. I had the same reaction you are having when hubby and I started looking at houses up on the mountain. The first one we looked at was a bit out of our price range but was perfect, needed work, but perfect nonetheless. But I said “no, we have to see more houses. It isn’t smart to take the first thing you see.” I spent the next month obsessing over the first house and got nearly apoplectic at the thought that we wouldn’t get it. So we put in a very low bid and hot damn! we got it. Lesson: trust your instincts.

  365. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    *happy dance*

    I love you folks. Thank you very much for the encouragement. I’m not sure you know how much it means to me. (A LOT, the answer is a lot)

  366. chigau (違う) says

    Beatrice
    I’d take it.
    If it meets your needs now, that’s good enough.

  367. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    Beatrice, if it felt good, take it. When the Redhead and I first visited our house prior to purchase, we both felt “we could live here”. That was 26 years ago.

  368. says

    Whew! SCOTUS rules SCOTUS ruling allows Texas abortion clinics to remain open!

    The Supreme Court issued a brief, two paragraph order on Monday permitting Texas abortion clinics that are endangered by state law requiring them to comply with onerous regulations or else shut down to remain open. The order stays a decision by the United States Court of Appeals for the Fifth Circuit, which imposed broad limits on the women’s right to choose an abortion within that circuit.
    The Court’s order is temporary and offers no direct insight into how the Court will decide this case on the merits. It provides that the clinics’ application for a stay of the Fifth Circuit’s decision is granted “pending the timely filing and disposition of a petition” asking the Court to review the case on the merits. The Court adds that, should this petition be denied, the stay will automatically terminate. Otherwise, the stay “shall terminate upon the issuance of the judgment of this Court.”
    While the substance of the order offers little insight into how the Court will ultimately decide this case, the final sentence of the order does: “The Chief Justice, Justice Scalia, Justice Thomas, and Justice Alito would deny the application.” Notably absent from this list of dissenting justices is Justice Anthony Kennedy, a conservative who typically votes with his fellow conservatives in abortion cases, but who has also refused to overrule Roe v. Wade outright.

  369. says

    Jafafa Hots
    L made the same decision some years back, and it was the right one.

    Beatrice
    Yay for finding a place.

    Tony!
    Hugs and best wishes on the job front.

    rq
    Sympathies for you and Middle Child; I’ve been having dental work for the first time in a while, due to Obamacare, and it’s required several visits, with more in the offing still; all my cavities have been filled, but I’ve got to get a wisdom tooth out next week as well.

    bassmike
    *hugs* and sympathies.

  370. says

    Beatrice:
    I’m with CaitieCat and everyone else-take the apartment. From the sounds of it, there are a whole lot of check marks in the plus category and not a lot in the minus column.

  371. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    The only minus is that I worry about spending too much when I could live cheaper.

    But damn it, I have a good job with prospects of getting a raise. I shouldn’t worry so much. I might not be able to save the money for that yacht*, but I won’t have to struggle either.

    * just to make it clear, this is a joke, I don’t want a yacht

  372. rq says

    Beatrice
    There’s a difference between living well, and living beyond your means.
    The apartment doesn’t sound beyond your means.
    You deserve to live well.
    TAKE IT.

  373. says

    I like this article by Amanda Marcotte at TPM.

    Reading Douthat, you do get a better idea of why conservatives see same-sex marriage as a threat to traditional marriage. It’s not because straight people won’t want to get married if gays are doing it, too. It’s because it redefines marriage as an institution of love instead of oppression.

    It basically explains that this is why conservatives couldn’t be coherent on why “traditional” marriage was the only way to go. They can’t come out and say it’s because they want to control women.

    Beatrice

    My opinion matches those saying to take the apartment. For what it’s worth.

  374. rq says

    Dalillama
    Good luck with the teeth fixing, esp. the wisdom tooth.
    Thankfully, I have no wisdom teeth to worry me, but I don’t have any cavities that I know of – but then, I haven’t actually been to the dentist in three years (didn’t have any then!), so who knows by now. Middle Child’s got the worst teeth of the lot, and we’re not sure if he gets it from Husband or my maternal side of the family.
    I’m actually afraid of getting cavities because I have no idea what fixing them entails. :/
    I hope you manage to sit still through it all, yay Obamacare?

  375. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    *hugs* for everyone dealing with dentists

  376. says

    A photographer in Florida lost a client when he posted online his support for marriage equality. The client cancelled the arrangement for photos and asked for her retainer back.

    The photographer, Clinton Brentwood Lee, wrote a perfect response:

    Wow, I’m not really sure what to say here. I would say this disappoints me, but I actually find this to be a good thing because our company now would now not like to work with you as well.

    It’s not that because you have a different view from us, but it’s because, since you don’t like an support gay marriage, no one else should be able to have it. That’s like me not liking broccoli, and demanding that everyone else in the world should not have broccoli either! If you’re not in favor of gay marriage that’s fine, don’t marry a woman.

    Personally, I was taught not to judge others and to love everyone else. So I will try not to judge you here and say anything more as to my opinion of you.

    At Brentwood Photography we see love in all forms. Now as far as your retainer goes, I hope you’ll read the first article in the contract you signed stating that this retainer is nonrefundable.

    But don’t you worry, I’m not going to keep it!

    Because of this conversation, I have decided to donate your $1500 to GLAAD [the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation], a group created to help and support gay rights.

    So let me be the first to say [redacted], thank you very much for your donation and support for this great cause!

    I couldn’t have done it without your money.

    Sincerely and with Love,

    Brentwood Photography

    Link

  377. says

    Judge Roy Moore is causing more trouble and confusion in Alabama. Moore wrote:

    Parties have 25 days in which to contest the U.S. Supreme Court ruling before it becomes a mandate, Moore said. The Alabama Supreme Court will hold a hearing before the 25 days is up to hear petitions in an Alabama Policy Institute lawsuit.

    “Basically it states that in the court’s judgment, it (the U.S. Supreme Court ruling Friday) is tabled […] until after the hearing (before the Alabama Supreme Court),” Moore said. “It’s not in effect until after this hearing in this 25 day period.”

    Judge Roy Moore is having trouble with reading comprehension, and with the English language. The Alabama Supreme Court did not order a stop or hold on issuing same-sex marriage licenses. What it did order was a briefing on Roy Moore’s idiotic previously existing order to NOT issue licenses.

    We’ll have to wait to see how this shakes out. I don’t know who is going to be tasked with telling Roy Moore that he is wrong.

  379. says

    More on the confusion caused in Alabama thanks to Judge Roy Moore:

    […] The Crimson White reported that the probate judges in Tuscaloosa County will not issue marriage licenses to gay couples for 21 days. But the Jefferson County Probate Judge Alan King, said that his office will issue licenses to same-sex couples. […]

    “I am not real clear what it’s [order from Alabama Supreme Court] saying,” Jefferson County Probate Judge Sherri Friday told AL.com. “It’s very unclear.”

    Sarah Warbelow, legal director for the Human Rights campaign, weighed in:

    There is no justification for delaying or obstructing the clear message of the Supreme Court of the United States—marriage equality must begin in Alabama, and probate judges who stand in the way of that legal imperative risk exposing themselves to legal consequences. There is zero chance of marriage equality being reheard by the Supreme Court—particularly given that all four states that were parties in this case have accepted the outcome—and as a result the Court’s holding in Obergefell v. Hodeges should be implemented across the country immediately.

  381. says

    Good news from Massachusetts: home care workers are getting a raise:

    […] Home care workers have long been poorly paid, thanks in part to the fact that they are excluded from federal minimum wage and overtime requirements. They make just $9.61 on average, while a quarter live in poverty and three in five rely on public benefits.

    […] home care workers joined up with the Fight for $15 movement, those in [the] union have become the first home care workers in the country to win such a wage level.

    Despite the low pay, home care aides do tough work. For her client and his wife, who has dementia, Cummings-Akers gives them showers, lifts them and their wheelchairs, gives them medication, makes them meals, takes them to doctor’s appointments and talks with the doctors, does the grocery shopping, cleans their clothes, and even helps care for their cat. “It’s a lot of work, it truly is a lot of work,” she said. “When you do work like this, you have to be a very strong person.” […]

    Link

  382. says

    Moments of Mormon Madness, home schooling at its worst:

    […] Heber City parent Jenny Cook also does science experiments with her kids — at home.

    Cook never planned on home schooling. But three years ago, she felt directed by God to remove her five children from public education.

    The at-home format allows her to incorporate LDS beliefs into every subject, she says, like reading verses from the Mormon Pearl of Great Price scriptures during a lesson on planets and stars.

    “We try to teach with the Bible and the Book of Mormon,” she says, “so they understand: This is what the philosophies of men are, and this is what the philosophies of God are.”

    For a recent lesson on the big-bang theory, Cook asked her children to build something out of Lego bricks.

    The bricks were then disassembled — or “unorganized” — and placed in bags, which Cook’s children tossed and shook in simulated “big bangs” to see if they would form shapes independently.

    “They know the logic behind [big bang] is flawed,” Cook says. “Things just don’t miraculously come together. There has to be somebody behind it helping to create things.”

    Cook believes that guided creation extends to human beings.

    “I see no room for human evolution,” she says. “We are what we are. We are how Heavenly Father created us in the beginning.”[…]

    http://www.sltrib.com/news/2615369-155/debate-about-science-standards-pits-faithful?fullpage=1

    Utah statewide teaching standards do not affect homeschoolers like Cook. So that’s a problem too.

    From the readers’ comments section:

    I think the mormons are becoming more unhinged with time. There was absolutely no religious influence in the science curricula in the 60s/70s in Salt Lake City and religion was taught in Sunday school and seminary. The two remained separate (as they should be).

    The lunatics are taking over the asylum.
    ———————-
    Science class has been canceled because your parents believe in magic.
    —————-
    Man-made climate change and evolution are two teachings of pantheism and require more faith to believe in than most traditional monotheistic belief systems.
    —————–
    the scientific community seems to lack any inherent self-scrutiny or critical thinking space for current, prevailing doctrines (and many are just doctrines at this point). The scientific community actually controls thought and dialogue in the same way religion does–by shunning, shaming, and casting out (excommunicating) those who are ahead of their time
    —————-
    The Mormons are the modern neanderthals. How long before the human species can’t mate with them and they go extinct?

  384. Rowan vet-tech says

    Threadrupt.

    Cleaned Beret’s, the Turtle What Hates, tank tonight, and fed him 6 worms and a new lettuce leaf. This turtle loves his worms, and he’ll take them from my fingers.

    In case you have never seen a turtle tongue, or ever thought that E.T’s character design was based on a turtle, please click the links to be enlightened.

    He helps make up for the disasters these last couple weeks. I got him expecting the worst, and instead he’s thriving. Thank you, hateful turtle.

    http://imageshack.com/a/img661/3122/mQdqgh.jpg – Wondering if fingers taste better than worms.
    http://imageshack.com/a/img538/1913/mlAjnw.jpg – No, Beret, you can’t phone home. You don’t have fingers and can’t work it anyway.
    http://imageshack.com/a/img673/6038/J8hbCi.jpg

  387. says

    Rowan

    Glad the hateful turtle (a chuckle-worthy term in and of itself) gave you a lift. My sister wanted to be a veterinarian at one point in her early teens, but that changed when she found out that bad things happen to animals and sometimes there’s only one thing you can do about them.

    In other news, slightly related, I took my kids to the Philadelphia Zoo today. It was sort of last minute. I had planned on taking them, not necessarily today, but my son was quite insistent, and the weather was great. So we went. And it was fun. It’s part of my attempt to keep my kids and I from just sitting around the house on the internet or video games all summer. I have no real point except that we did manage to see many turtles and tortoises (including the really big Galapagos Tortoise).

  388. says

    Good morning
    Did I mention that I love my neighbourhood? #1 delivered her birthday invitations. If everybody comes there’ll be 8 kids with roots in 4 different countries. Christian, muslim and atheist as well and the world still keeps spinning…

    ajb47
    I love zoo stories. We make good use of zoos as well. Fun and educating.

    Rowan
    Beret is adorable. I once found out that turtles are surprisingly fast…

    +++

    At Brentwood Photography we see love in all forms. Now as far as your retainer goes, I hope you’ll read the first article in the contract you signed stating that this retainer is nonrefundable.

    But don’t you worry, I’m not going to keep it!

    Because of this conversation, I have decided to donate your $1500 to GLAAD [the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation], a group created to help and support gay rights.

    Holy fuck, 1500$ on a retainer?
    I swear that’s about 70% of my whole wedding budget. But a good response!

  390. bassmike says

    Good morning all,

    Warning parent related post (again), feel free to ignore:

    Thanks for all the really helpful advice. I’m impressed with how accurate your assessments of my situation are! Tony! you may not be a parent, but you continually show how well you understand people.

    For those who are interested (and probably TMI), the basic problem as far as I can tell, is as follows: my wife always wanted children, more so than me. Not that I was averse. It took a while to conceive and then my daughter was premature and she had reflux issues from the start. Then she had the numerous chest infections and hospital stays. So my wife’s expectation of parenting has never stacked up with reality. Add to that Postnatal depression and you have someone who, to a certain extent resents their child. So when my daughter plays up, as all kids do, my wife finds it hard to cope. Whenever I can, I try to relieve the pressure: I’ll take my daughter to the park or distract her in some other way, to give my wife some space a child-free time. But as both of us work, that means that I get very little child-free time myself.

    Most of the time this is fine and I enjoy time with my daughter, but when, as last night, I’m trying to prepare tea and care for a sobbing child, who needs cleaning up, while my wife ends up watching TV. I start to feel a little over burdened. I know that there are loads of parents who have it a lot worse, but you’re in the situation you’re in and you feel the way you feel and you can’t help it.

    I know that now my wife regrets having a child, so I feel that the bulk of the parental interaction stuff becomes my responsibility and sometimes it gets stifling. My only free time is on a Sunday morning at orchestra rehearsal.

    I’m going to stop my self-indulgent whine now. Sorry.

  391. says

    bassmike
    My deepest sympathies to both of you.
    You know, societal expectations of parenthood, especially motherhood damage us so fucking much.
    I can understand your wife. You’re doing the best you can, and then there’s that image and you just cannot get there. And the worse we get in this respect, the worse our kids get. I have the suspicion that the little one’s recent illness is in part due to the fact that I’ve had so little time and patience for them recently. Which leads to more stress, more trouble, less time.
    And I understand you because, due to Mr. being away during the week, I’m the one who gets “dumped” with them all the fucking time.
    Also, it’s ok to whine and complain and seek a sympathetic ear. “Dear Muslima” has never solved anybody’s problems.
    Talking about a sympathetic ear, does your wife have one? I mean one she can talk into, not one to lend you.
    *hugs*
    and *cookies*

  392. rq says

    bassmike
    *hugs*
    What Giliell said, about your wife having an outlet, preferably other than you.
    Also, do you get any child-free time for the two of you together? (This is the part where I offer you the opportunity to leave your daughter with us for a whole weekend day while you two go off, only to realize we live too far apart. :( )
    Other than that, I hope she (your wife) realizes eventually that it’s okay to have a family that diverges from the stereotypical perfect one. It really sounds like she’s comparing her experiences with the ideal experience, and constantly finding herself (and, by connection, the whole family) coming up short. I don’t know how to explain to someone to stop doing that. Which is why I think some time alone, just the two of you, without your daughter, should be attempted. As stress-free as possible. Because her withdrawal from familial involvement seems… worrying.
    Anyway, about you – it’s definitely okay to feel over-burdened. You probably are, and you’re right, it’s the situation you’re in and you can’t help feeling that way. Boy, do I know that feeling. I just have no quick fix on how to solve it :P but if ‘whining’ (I would prefer the less loaded term ‘venting’ or ‘relieving stress’) here helps, go for it! I can at least lend an understanding… eye, I guess.
    Q: Are there any other parents in your immediate vicinity, or play-groups, with which you could maybe share some of the supervisory load? Even if it is only for an hour at a time? This might mean that occasionally you have to keep an eye on two other children while at the park (for instance) while their parent(s) run errands, but at least when it’s several children together, it removes some of the focus from you.
    Anyway, good luck. *hugs*

  394. bassmike says

    Thanks Giliell . There are a few people that my wife can turn to for a chat. But, as they’re in a similar situation child-wise, it makes meeting up problematic. I hope my wife speaks to some of her colleagues at work, but that would be her choice.

    It doesn’t help that my daughter was especially awkward last night. I’m sure she’s no different from other kids, but she was pressing all sorts of buttons last night. Whether it was the hot weather, a function of which other kids were at nursery that day or something else, I don’t know. When she’s calm I try and ask her if there’s anything wrong, but either she can’t articulate it, or she’s fine, or she doesn’t want to say. Parenting is hard!

  395. says

    rq

    This is the part where I offer you the opportunity to leave your daughter with us for a whole weekend day while you two go off, only to realize we live too far apart.

    Well, maybe there’s a cheap aircarrier connection. 2 day trip visiting your beautiful country ;)

    bassmike

    When she’s calm I try and ask her if there’s anything wrong, but either she can’t articulate it, or she’s fine, or she doesn’t want to say.

    She’s three years old. Even our highly verbal children just cannot think in terms of “there’s something wrong, this is bothering me.” They just can’t tell, they can only do. That’S probably why she’s pushing all sorts of buttons ;)
    Has your wife ever considered a therapist? They can be very helpful people, espcially if they specialise in family matters and such.

  396. bassmike says

    rq as I mentioned: I try to relieve the burden for my wife when I can. With regards to external assistance; my mother is too far away and not robust enough to help. My wife’s parents are close, but, as I may have mentioned before, they spend at least three days a week looking after my nieces, as my wife’s brother has mental health problems. So, by the time it gets to the weekend, they want some time to themselves. They will look after my daughter if we ask, but we don’t like to ask too often given the situation. We tend to ask only when we have something arranged. We have my birthday and our Wedding Anniversary coming up, so we will look to go out a couple of times soon. I think we need it!

    As my daughter gets older it gets closer to the possibility of her spending time at a friends house. So far, apart from hospital, she’s not slept apart from us. Hopefully we can do that soon. I think she’d love the excitement of it, and we would get some free time.

  397. bassmike says

    ….oh yes rq , and once they invent that cheap teleporter, you’re welcome to exchange visits for the kids!

  398. rq says

    bassmike

    I try to relieve the burden for my wife when I can.

    I got that, I’m sorry that it came across as if I didn’t. I meant more to say that you need some burden-relief, too, therefore child-free time for both of you, whether that happens together or not.
    But as you’ve explained (and I know from experience) that’s not always as easy as people make it sound.
    I hope you get some free time soon!

  399. Rowan vet-tech says

    Anne: The only reason he didn’t take fingers was because he couldn’t reach ’em after the first time he got close.

    Ajb47: I’m glad my hateful turtle makes you laugh. He really does despise me unless it’s feeding time. Lots of people get turned away from the profession because of that realization. Some weeks it can be overwhelming, but the good outcomes far outweight the bad for me. Also, yay other turtles!

    Giliell: Beret has learned that the white container is the source of worms and he came rocketing out of his tank (30 gallon on its side) after it. I had to keep picking him up and putting him back in, which just made him crankier. He was fast the day he got his first giant nightcrawler and he couldn’t use his leg. Now that he’s got 4 of ’em working he’s a speed demon. One does not normally think of turtles as being able to ‘run’.

    And hearing that, I’m now tempted for some blue tooth speakers…

    bassmike, I have no advice to offer (if she was a kitten or a puppy I possibly could, but tiny humans are somewhat different), but you do have all my sympathy. I hope things improve for you and your wife soon, and that she becomes willing to accept and enjoy the reality of the situation, instead of the dream.

  400. Rowan vet-tech says

    Oops, forgot to close a tag. I blame it being morning, and my brain doesn’t work in the morning.

  401. yazikus says

    Hi bassmike!

    I’m sorry you are having such a tricky time. As others have said, the societal expectations of what parenthood should be can fuck us up so much. Here are a few things that have helped me: Remind myself and partner that we are on the same team. Same team! We both want to have a happy kid, be happy ourselves and relax. Next, I try not to keep an accounting of how many times I do such and such chore vs. partner, because that seems to make me resentful. Remember that your daughter is growing up, and this part of her life, even though it is difficult now, will soon move into a whole new (and wonderfully verbal) phase. Make sure you prioritize your own self-care while doing what you do. And as the others have said, families are divers, unique and wonderful, so I hope you can celebrate yours, even if it wasn’t what you expected. Best of luck. Sending many hopeful thoughts your way.

  403. says

    Tony @402: It was great to see that True Believing Mormon (TBM) woman supporting her gay son, but I was still glad to see the son had stopped believing in the doctrines of the mormon church, glad to see he had stopped attending church.

    The gay mormons who stay in the church and try to reconcile its doctrines with their inner life have a real struggle. And it never ends.

    It was a telling detail that the gay son tried to commit suicide with pills before his family came around and started to fully support him. They’re lucky the kid is not dead.

    As for the detail about mormon-sponsored Boy Scout Troops — yes, it’s that bad. Other TBMs in the kid’s community were the opposite of tolerant. They were cruel.

  404. says

    Rowan @399

    I’m glad my hateful turtle makes you laugh.

    Just to be clear, it’s not the hating part, it’s the term “hateful turtle” because outside of snapping turtles (and that huge alligator snapping turtle at the zoo), I’ve never seen one that could be described as “hateful”. It seems like an oxymoron (cue military intelligence and jumbo shrimp).

    And now for something completely different… (no, not a man with tape recorder up his nose)

    The courts at the All England Lawn Tennis and Croquet Club always look so nice the first day of the Championships at Wimbledon.

  406. Rowan vet-tech says

    I call him hateful because he is. Every single time he sees me he hisses and ducks into his shell. I’m quite certain he feels that humanity in general, and I in particular, are the worst things ever.

    UnknownEric… if he was more willing to actually bite, I’d totally agree! He is, unfortunately, also a fairly dignified turtle and would never lower himself to the sort of actions that those… lesser turtles… would.

    Mayhaps I should change his name to Dawkins. That would cover the range of disgust for lesser lifeforms unless we prove useful that seems to emanate from him.

  407. says

    I’m cheering for the Girl Scouts:

    An unnamed $100,000 donor sent the Queen Anne offices of the Girl Scouts of Western Washington a note last May asking the chapter to “guarantee that our gift will not be used to support transgender girls. If you can’t, please return the money.”

    Council CEO Megan Ferland returned the donation, which would have sent 500 girls to camp and helped the troop meet nearly a quarter of their annual fundraising goal, with a note saying “Girl Scouts is for every girl. And every girl should have the opportunity to be a Girl Scout if she wants to.”

    http://www.themarysue.com/girl-scouts-indiegogo/

  408. says

    Another creationist museum is coming soon to the USA. This one is just off the National Mall in Washington D.C. Visitors will see an obnoxious, anti-science “museum” in a place where lots of tourists will mistake it for a public building supported by the federal government.

    […]The private building amid a sea of public space is a stone’s throw from the Federal Center Southwest Metro station, and walking distance to the Smithsonian museums, the Capitol Building, and other sites frequented by tourists. […]

    The founders of the Museum of the Bible are the Green family, the owners of the arts and crafts store chain Hobby Lobby, whose litigation against the federal government over contraception coverage in the Affordable Care Act turned their franchise into a new ambassador for the overt expressions of Christianity in public spaces—including workplaces, museums, and even the nation’s courtrooms. […]

    As Jacques Berlinerblau, a professor of Jewish civilization at Georgetown University and author of the book How to Be Secular: A Call to Arms for Religious Freedom, told NPR earlier this year, “When there’s an anti-abortion rally, an anti-gay marriage rally, an anti-Affordable Care Act rally to be had, what a convenient thing to have church groups coming to see the museum, and then while they’re at it, next step on their itinerary is to march down to the Mall for a protest.”

    Cary Summers, the museum’s president, has denied that characterization. But he fully admits he has an agenda: “The subway stops in Washington are ugly, so we will put on there an electronic billboard talking about the museum,” he said recently at an event for donors. “So when people are just coming to Washington, they’re going to hear about the Bible even if they’re just coming to see Congress.”

    At the same event, he describes to donors the vast undertaking, which will house libraries, exhibits, a children’s area with games, a “Disney-esque” New Testament theater, a Nazareth village recreation, biblical restaurant, and a “Joshua machine” that will be like “Times Square on biblical steroids.” […]

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/theslice/hobby-lobby-museum-of-the-bible

  410. says

    Back to the 1950s again for Phyllis Schlafly:

    Phyllis Schlafly is none too pleased with the Supreme Court’s decision striking down state gay marriage bans, and has a modest proposal for Congress: Pass a resolution affirming the “dignity of opposite-sex married couples,” especially that of couples where “a provider-husband is the principal breadwinner and his wife is dedicated to the job of homemaker.”

    Link

  411. says

    Tony @409, My diagnosis would be ignorance and Tea Party brainwashing damage.

    In other news, rightwing media is backing all of Donald Trump’s insulting and fact-free statements, including the one about Mexican immigrants being drug dealers and “rapists.”

    Sean Hannity: “I Agree With Mr. Trump… I Have Seen The Drug Warehouses.”

    Bill O’Reilly: Maybe Trump Was “Highlighting A Problem … That Is Harming The Nation.”

    Megyn Kelly Defends Trump By Claiming Ann Coulter Agrees With His Anti-Immigration Stances.

    Steve Doocy Excuses Trump’s Comments Because “He’s Probably Right. Our Unsecured Southern Border Is A Problem.”

    The summary above was excerpted from a media matters.org article.

  412. says

    This comment is a followup to the Fox News celebration of Donald Trump (see #411). Fox News Latino takes a different stance.

    […] Fox News Latino highlighted how Hispanic advocates pressured NBC to end its relationship with Trump, writing that “Latino media advocacy leaders say NBC’s decision Monday … marked a watershed moment for Latinos.” In particular, Fox News Latino profiled the efforts of the National Hispanic Foundation for the Arts, whose chairman and co-founder published an op-ed encouraging the network to “dump Trump.” […]

  413. says

    Moments of Mormon Madness, anti-gay category.

    Mormon leaders are doubling down on the doublespeak and the “obey your leaders” crap when it comes to pushing their anti-gay agenda on LDS church members.

    In a letter to be shared with rank-and-file Mormons in the wake of the U.S. Supreme Court’s legalization of gay marriage across the nation, top LDS leaders are reaffirming the faith’s steadfast belief in and exclusive commitment to heterosexual unions.

    “Marriage between a man and a woman was instituted by God,” reads the letter from the Utah-based church’s governing First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, “and is central to his plan for his children and for the well-being of society.”

    The letter and accompanying background materials are “being sent to leaders of LDS congregations for them to share with members,” […]

    Changes in “civil law do not, indeed cannot, change the moral law that God has established,” the letter continues. “God expects us to uphold and keep his commandments regardless of divergent opinions or trends in society.”

    No matter what civil authorities in the U.S. or other countries dictate, Mormon officials “will not employ their ecclesiastical authority to perform marriages between two people of the same sex,” the letter says, “and the church does not permit its meetinghouses or other properties to be used for ceremonies, receptions or other activities associated with same-sex marriages.” […]

    That means, of course, that marriages performed in LDS temples will continue to be between only faithful men and women. Mormons view such marriages as “sealed” for eternity. […]

    At the same time, the highest-level LDS leaders urge Mormons “to love and treat all people with kindness and civility — even when we disagree.” […]

    Mormon leaders teach that same-sex attraction is not a sin, only acting on it is. LDS officials, including apostle D. Todd Christofferson, also have said Latter-day Saints who support gay marriage are not in danger of losing their church memberships or temple privileges. […]

    Link

    It’s worth noting that the mormon church has excommunicated people in the past for being gay, and even for supporting gay rights. With a fake smile, (and sometimes with fake tears), they tell people to be kind and then they are cruel beyond belief.

  414. says

    This is a followup to comment 413, in which mormon anti-gay pronouncements are discussed. The official LDS church position says, in part, “The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and its members should have the right to express and advocate religious convictions on marriage, family and morality free from retaliation or retribution.”

    But that is a false front. Many mormons and ex-mormons have started documenting online what actually is said, and what actually happens in church meetings:

    After listening to an extremely cringe-worthy lesson on Sunday about “Religious Freedom” and how the Supreme Court just brought on the apocalypse, I was assured that members are free to “believe in gay marriage, and even celebrate it on Facebook by turning your profile picture into a rainbow.”

    It’s not until you actually “act upon those beliefs and support groups that support gay marriage that your temple recommend could be taken away.”

    So I am free to think things, but if I follow my conscience and act on my belief to defend human rights, I may be punished with the loss of a temple recommend.
    ————–
    It is okay to deceive your friends and neighbors into thinking you support equal rights, just don’t actually support equal rights.

    And here’s an excerpt from background material that was handed out only to Bishops and Branch Presidents, background material that accompanied the more softly-worded letter for church members:

    […] Homosexual behavior violates the commandments of God, is contrary to the purposes of human sexuality, and deprives people of the blessings that can be found in family life and in the saving ordinances of the gospel. Those who persist in such behavior or who influence others to do so are subject to Church discipline. Homosexual behavior can be forgiven through sincere repentance.

    Sounds remarkably similar to anti-gay laws in Uganda, especially that “who influence others to do so […]”. They’re all “subject to Church discipline.”

    There’s more:

    If members engage in homosexual behavior, Church leaders should help them have a clear understanding of faith in Jesus Christ, the process of repentance, and the purpose of life on earth.

    “While opposing homosexual behavior, the Church reaches out with understanding and respect to individuals who are attracted to those of the same gender.

    “If members feel same.gender attraction but do not engage in any homosexual behavior, leaders should support and encourage them in their resolve to live the law of chastity and to control unrighteous thoughts. These members may receive Church callings. If they are worthy and qualified in every other way, they may also hold temple recommends and receive temple ordinances. […]

  415. David Marjanović says

    *pops in*

    Phew. Lots of work on the big manuscript, and preparing for conferences and stuff. I still have important stuff to catch up with in The Mended Drum… and it’ll be a while till I find the time for that. :-(

    So, two things:

    1) I got e-mail from Deepak Chopra. You see, a year or three ago, somebody (no idea who or why!) put me on a mailing list for Bhaktivedānta creationists; I found it funny, stayed on, and still haven’t written a message because the one time I could have contributed something, I was too busy. :-( Currently they’re babbling about the awesomeness of cells in an extremely dignified philosophical/theological tone, and the actual Chopra showed up to say how right someone was. :-)

    2) Beatrice! I completely forgot! My sister and I are going to pass through Zagreb on the 15th! Would you like to meet us? :-) Google Scholar knows my e-mail address.

    *pops out*

  417. Rowan vet-tech says

    It is 97 degrees outside. I’ve sent my boyfriend to the store for grapes to freeze for future snacks, baby food to get the kittens to eat better, and chocolate ice cream mochi. In the mean time, I shall be miserable.

  418. Morgan!? ♥ ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ says

    It is hot here too, Rowan. I think we are both in California. Except it is a tad cooler up on the mountain. But not much. I just got back from the market with the ingredients for strawberry gazpacho. That will be dinner.

  419. says

    Rowan and Morgan,

    It’s hot and humid here in the OC, too. We even got a little rain and some thunder, which led to one very worried tortiecat, and one fascinated calico fluffycat.

    Morgan, how are you doing with the fire and all?

  420. says

    It’s 78 degrees (F) here in Bellingham, and I’m finding myself wishing for a bit of rain.

    On the other hand, a good bit of central Washington has literally gone up in flames, so I really shouldn’t complain too much.

  421. yazikus says

    Sunday it was 109 where I am, and today it is a balmy 98. At least on Sunday we escaped the heat a little by heading toward the river. This June has been a little unsettling in that usually we joke about ‘Juneuary’ because of the cold and wet weather, this one, however, is relentlessly hot so far. Not looking good for fire season. I’m hoping they ban personal fireworks this weekend.

  422. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    It’s around 60 F here in Chiwaukee, as the wind is coming off the Lake.

    Last night the Redhead’s bed developed a problem. The head of the bed will go up with the remote, but not down. It’s much easier to change her if the bed is flat. Fortunately, there is a manual crank, as we discovered this morning. But the middle of the night is not a good time for such discoveries to occur, but we coped. The company the insurance rents it from previously needed to replace the motor that wasn’t going down. Now they have a good reason to speed up that repair (the motor they brought last time wouldn’t fit, don’t they know the part numbers for their equipment?), as the insurance checks up on the Redhead periodically.

    My company is giving us Friday off since the Fourth of July is Saturday. Happy dance time!

  423. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    Hmm…Just noticed an e-mail from Freethought Equality Fund. It was about donating to somebody running for state senator. Except I haven’t heard that our present state senator is quitting. Anybody else receive such an e-mail?

  424. Morgan!? ♥ ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ says

    Hi Anne,

    Thankfully the fires are out. The Sterling fire in San Bernardino was arson and they’ve not nailed anyone yet. The Lake Fire that burned about 35,000 acres is contained and mostly out. It also seems to have been arson and they may have found the culprit. Damn fools.

    But we are okay. The air is clear. We love getting storms during summer but it is a two edged sword. The rain is good, the lightening strikes are bad.

  426. Morgan!? ♥ ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ says

    Anne, I think we should paint ourselves blue and go out during the next full moon and chant for the success of the currently forming El Nino. But then we get floods. Can’t win.

  428. Morgan!? ♥ ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ says

    Anne, me nekkid is truly a crime against nature. But if Mama Nature would approve, I’d dance in the rain with anyone! I’ll let you know as soon as Mama Nature gets back to me.

  430. rq says

    It’s hot here, too! But no fires. I think we’re going to make a trip to the seaside soon.

    Giliell
    I don’t know if I have to say ‘good luck’ anymore, as all the hard work has been done, but I hope whoever evaluates it looks upon it with kindness, constructive criticism, and awe!
    Yay!

  431. bassmike says

    Good luck with the thesis Giliell . Here’s to your newest qualification.

    Thanks to everyone for your supportive comments. We had a better evening yesterday, but it took my daughter a long time to settle. Primarily it was the heat: we’re not used to it in the UK. When she had gone to sleep and we checked on her, she had taken her trousers and pull-up off. We put it back on while she slept. Just as well as she used it in the night! We’re at the transition between nappies and pants at night, but we’re not quite there yet.

    We’re in for another hot day today. I may postpone my run until later tonight or I might do myself some damage.

  432. says

    This is the most embarassing thing ever.
    I swear it.
    I want a fucking hole in the fucking ground.
    So I wrote this thesis.
    I sent it to Cait for proofreading.
    I proofread myself again.
    I typed the cover sheet.
    I proofread the coversheet.
    Three times.
    I had it printed, bound, handed it in.
    I was feeling great.
    I bought a muffin and a coffee and walked to the car.
    When I arrived there I saw a mail on my phone from the exams’ office to my prof with CC to me: I managed to overlook a typo in the title, the thing that needs to be exactly like in the official slip.
    Head->steeringwheel.
    Now I have to wait for my professor to decide. I think that the worst case is that I just wasted 30 bucks and 2 hours of time…
    But still I managed to turn a moment of triumph into one of utter failure.

  433. gobi's sockpuppet's meatpuppet says

    Oh Giliell!
    It couldn’t be a printer’s error… Could it?

  434. bassmike says

    I’m sorry to hear that Giliell . I know it’s not any comfort, but it is surprisingly easy to overlook something like that. I hope it gets sorted as painlessly as possible.

  437. says

    Giliell
    Sorry about the typo. Yes, embarrassing, but I wouldn’t call it an “utter failure.” I’m sure your professor will judge the contents of your thesis fairly. Meanwhile, have some tea and cake. You finished a thesis!

  441. birgerjohansson says

    I haz a question. Where the £$€ did the axe-wielding giants i “Resident Evil” come from? Did the Umbrella Corporation clone them when I was not watching?
    — — —
    Also; the latest Terminator is set in three different time lines and is a Retcon to make the kids more interested in a thirty-year-old franchise.
    Three time lines is at least one too many.

  442. says

    Up-thread we talked quite a bit about Alabama Chief Justice, Roy Moore, the religious doofus who fails at separating church and state. He was mightily upset over the recent SCOTUS ruling on marriage equality.

    It turns out that most of the Alabama state court system, led by Moore, is infested with rightwing religious zealots. Moore’s lawyer, Win Johnson, is also the director of the legal staff of the Administrative Office of Courts. Johnson wrote a scathing, off-the-rails letter to Governor Robert Bentley (and anyone else who is thinking of complying with the Supreme Court order):

    […] he argued, “Public officials are ministers of God assigned the duty of punishing the wicked and protecting the righteous.”

    Uh, no, dude. Wrong country.

    http://www.al.com/news/index.ssf/2015/06/roy_moores_lawyer_to_gov_bentl.html

    “Public official, what will you do? Will you stand up for the law of Alabama, for the people, for the weak and vulnerable, for the law of God? Or will you capitulate? Will you become complicit in the takeover by the wicked?”

    There’s more at the link, including obligatory Nazi references made by Johnson, as well as purple prose about leaving your children and grandchildren to the wolves.

  445. says

    What happens when rightwing doofuses like Bobby Jindal invite feedback from Twitter users? A sampling:

    How does it feel to sell your soul for political gain and yet not gain anything politically?
    ————–
    If you’re not a scientist when it comes to global warming how are you a doctor when it comes to women’s reproductive systems?
    —————-
    When did God create the dinosaurs?
    —————
    I’m having a hard time deciding which SCOTUS rulings I should ignore/selectively be outraged by. Can you help?
    ————-
    If I sail too far will I fall off the edge of the Earth?
    —————
    Which spice girl is your favorite and if you had a chance, what laws would you pass to oppress them for having a uterus?
    ————-
    How many Robertsons will serve in your WH cabinet and will you start pardoning ducks instead of turkeys at Thanksgiving time?
    ————-
    How long did it take Jesus to write the constitution?

  446. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    Giliell, CONGRATS!

    I understand how that typo can feel like the greatest failure ever right now, so that’s just one of those things that you’ll have to wait to fade away under the great success of finishing an interesting, brilliant thesis.

  447. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    David Marjanović,

    My sister and I are going to pass through Zagreb on the 15th! Would you like to meet us? :-) Google Scholar knows my e-mail address.

    That would be great! I’ll email you.

  448. says

    Sorry about the typo, Giliell, but many lines of high-kicking conga rats for finishing the damed thing.

    For proofreading purposes, I usually do one thing at a time:
    Titles
    Subtitles
    Footnotes
    Photo captions
    Chapter text
    etc.

    Next time, divide the task. That doesn’t guarantee you will catch all the errors, but it’s a process that’s more likely to catch mistakes. Also, don’t stress over the errors.

  450. Morgan!? ♥ ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ says

    Giliell, huge congratulations on finishing the thesis! And I wouldn’t think that one damn typo could impact the value of your work. Well done. And you did it all without any distractions, right?

  451. says

    Oh, FFS. Rightwing dunderheads are pushing the envelope of nutbaggery when it comes to the SCOTUS ruling on marriage equality:

    Tom DeLay appeared on Newsmax TV yesterday, where he told host Steve Malzberg that, just as he had predicted, all Hell is now breaking loose because of the Supreme Court ruling striking down gay marriage bans. Things are now so out of control, DeLay said, that he even knows about a “secret memo” from the Justice Department aimed at legalizing “12 new perversions,” including bestiality and pedophilia.[…]

    Link

  452. says

    Amanda Marcotte talks about the Women’s World Cup:
    http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2015/07/01/women_s_world_cup_uswnt_men_who_say_women_s_soccer_is_boring_are_wrong_so.html

    […] Men who imply that fans of women’s teams don’t really understand sports or that watching women play is some kind of charity act is a constant problem in women’s sports. It’s the same story, over and over: Dude says women’s sports suck, fans of women’s sports push back, sexist dude smirks about how defensive the women are, and now the topic is yet again whether women really deserve equality instead of talking about, you know, the game. […]

  453. says

    rq @449
    You’re referring to Russia? I was reading you over in The Mended Drum. Stay safe, and somehow at the same time, try not to worry too much. Yeah, I know that’s a crappy “comfort.” I really don’t know what to say or do to offer support.

    Oh, I know–
    HUGS. Should have started with hugs.

  454. says

    This is a followup to comments 442 and 444.

    All of that nutbaggery coming out of Alabama’s court system is going to cost taxpayers in that state a lot of money. That’s right, Judge Roy Moore, Moore’s lawyer Win Johnson, various probate judges, etc. who are balking when it comes to implementing the SCOTUS ruling on marriage equality want the state of Alabama to pay for their court battles.

    Alternatively, they are having some questionable organizations pay to defend their bogus claims.

    […] Swimming against the legal tide of same-sex marriage will cost money, and at least one of those probate judges has now turned to his county commission to foot the bill.

    This week, Pike County Probate Judge Wes Allen has been something of a mini-Moore in Alabama’s same-sex marriage fight. Rather than issuing licenses to same-sex couples, Allen has used a little loophole in the state law, which says probate judges “may” issue licenses, not “must” or “shall.” Allen has quit issuing marriage licenses altogether. […]

    The trouble for Pike County is that Allen has made a lawsuit all but inevitable, and now Allen wants the commission there to hire him a lawyer.

    The commission there told him no, and Allen blasted the commissioners

    “I sincerely believe the decision that Commissioners (Joey) Jackson, (Charlie) Harris, (Homer) Wright and (Ray) Goodson made tonight to support bringing gay marriage to our county courthouse is 100 percent counter to the Christian values and principles of the people they were elected to represent,” Allen told the Troy Messenger. “April 13, 2015 will go down as a sad day in the history of our community.”

    Or in other words, if you don’t want to pay my legal bills for a futile legal fight, then you hate God.

    […] As it happens, there’s a non-profit that, according to its tax records, exists for the very purpose of “educating the public and promoting current litigation activity aimed at moral and religious issues.”

    The Foundation for Moral Law.

    Just look at what this nonprofit has done for Allen’s role model — Chief Justice Moore.

    In the last 10 years, the foundation has paid almost $1 million to Moore and his wife. In 2011 alone, the foundation reported $60,000 in salary and a $393,000 cash-out of retirement and deferred compensation for Moore. The following year, Moore made $138,000 in salary and $42,000 in “other” compensation from the organization. […]

    http://www.al.com/opinion/index.ssf/2015/07/alabama_gay_marriage_fight_who.html

  455. rq says

    awakeinmo
    Thanks. And yes, I wanted to look up 1940 to make sure I get the date right, and freaked myself out. Ah well!

  456. says

    A Republican politician says stupid stuff, sounds like an old fogey, needs guidance:

    Federal Communications Commission member Michael O’Rielly yesterday argued that “Internet access is not a necessity or human right” and called this one of the most important “principles for regulators to consider as it relates to the Internet and our broadband economy. People can and do live without Internet access, and many lead very successful lives.

    Mr. O’Rielly does want to make sure that Comcast, Verizon and other industry giants have the freedom to charge individuals more money, and he wants them to be free from regulation.

    Well, yes, some “People can and do live without Internet access, and many lead very successful lives,” but in my life the internet is not optional. A lot of people need access, and that access can make a big difference to economically disadvantaged communities.

    Michael O’Rielly sounds like he is another guy who lives in 1950. What the heck is a guy like that doing on the Federal Communications Commission?

    http://arstechnica.com/business/2015/06/internet-access-not-a-necessity-or-human-right-says-fcc-republican/

  457. carlie says

    Child 1 and Child 2 both went to apply for a job at the same place today. They came out and said two different people asked if they were twins.

    They are a year and a half apart in age.
    They are an inch and a half different in height.
    They are about 40 pounds different in weight.
    One has light blond hair and one has brownish hair.

    I don’t get it.

  459. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    More good news- Realizing that they needed to begin a fundraiser to recover that $100K, the Girl Scouts set up an Indiegogo page. In less than 24 hours, they received $185K.

    As of right now, they’ve received more than $281K.

    Ah, that many more girls who can join an organization that welcomes everybody. Applause, applause. Both to GSA and their supporters.

  461. Crudely Wrott, lurching towards recrudescence says

    OK. Finally got the new computer (it’s a brute!) to talk to the rest of the world. The most important part is you, here. I have good news.

    My family and I have survived the month of June by virtue of grit, true love, the vagaries of fate and the assistance of you. Would you believe that yesterday, the last day of June, I had five dollars in my pocket? Well, it’s true.

    A month ago I raised the panic flag and you dear folks responded. With the intercession of the inestimable Esteleth my struggling family has passed over the hump and we all have found places of realistic hope.

    Surviving Daughter, SIL and the mancubs are secure in a family home while I have found a near perfect place to continue my life. My gratitude and my heartfelt admiration are yours. My dear, dear Lounglings, your generosity has made the difference. I will always be thankful to the innate wonderfulness that manifests in this all too real place that you and I treat as another home, a home that we cling to with kindness and purposeful intent.

    Teal dear: We lost the house. Mortgage called in. For a couple of weeks there was uncertainty. Then one day I went to the ATM and there was the means to the ends. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Your gifts to us made the difference. Please, bask in the knowledge that you have made a profound difference in the fate of five (go ahead, count ’em, five) people. Your humanity is multiplied within the fabric of my family and in so doing you have solidified your position as part of our family. You will always be welcome and you will always be honored. Just look at what you have done!

    SD, SIL and the mancubs are together in SIL’s parent’s home (his childhood home) and are welcome there for the long term. I have found a wonderful place in the home of a pair of father and son bachelor’s home in which I am welcome. In which I feel very comfortable.

    There is much more good new that I will relate later. The main point is that your concern, your kind regard and involvement as much as your generosity has been instrumental in making all of this possible. Again, thank you. From the top to the bottomus of my heart.

    PZ, you fantastic poopyhead you, did you ever imagine that something as offhand as The Endless Thread would ever be the vehicle to provide the glue to hold a family together?

    It’s taken a few days to take hold of the reins of this new (to me; I got a hell of a deal, folks) computer and a few more days to realize that it doesn’t understand wifi — had to get a fifty foot cable to connect to the home router and that box has been petulant and erratic — but now I am back and will have stirring reportage for you in the days to come.

    In the mean time you all have every right to feel the power of love, kindness, honesty, generosity and downright neighborliness. I sure do.

    More later but for now,
    Love,
    Crudely

  462. says

    Crudely
    I’m so glad you and your family are safe and have roofs over your respective heads
    *hugs*

    Lynna
    Believe me, I proofread.
    Several times. Still didn’t catch it.

    +++
    Well, apparently my professor has decided that I deserve to sit on hot coals for a while longer over this. Not that I disagree. Or she simply hasn’t had time to reply yet. Either way, I still have no answer…

  463. Crudely Wrott, lurching towards recrudescence says

    Thank you, Giliell. It’s my wish that you are enjoying the same. Family is tough to get right sometimes and sometimes, if recent experience is valid, deeply doubtful.

    When, in such a state, principal character’s decisions blended with unpredictable circumstantial developments bolstered with grace from the ether lead to happy and promising potential, there is good reason to celebrate.

    You are part of that (just in case you didn’t know). Anx.

  464. Crudely Wrott, lurching towards recrudescence says

    I’d be remiss to not acknowledge the five hundredth iteration of this fine thread as it happens in synchrony with astoundingly righteous decisions from the Supreme Court. Taken together, we’re doing damned well.

    Enjoy, my friends. Enjoy.

    Just don’t forget the mountains yet to climb. Let us all stand for us all. We will either go to the future together or we will not go at all. We must act in concert, singing the song of us all.

  465. bassmike says

    Crudely Wrott I am very pleased for you. I hope your good luck continues. It’s good to have your voice in the Lounge.

    Giliell I’m sure everything will be fine with your thesis. It’s something I would love to read when the dust has settled. I’m sure one small typo is not going to spoil what sounds like an excellent piece of work. My fingers are crossed for you.

    *hugs*

  466. Great American Satan says

    Hey folks. I don’t recall what the ethics of self-promotion in here are, but I’d love it if someone other than one lonely slimebeast was commenting on my articles, so give it a look if that’s cool. I think my newest one is kinda fun.

    My comment policy there is that if you’re a hater, I edit your post into something cute. Simply disagreeing with me is totally reasonable, as I am often thoughtless or foolish. But I’ll only allow that disagreement out of moderation if you’re coming from a progressive point of view. That’s all.

  467. carlie says

    Crudely, I’m so glad you’re all in a good place. I know it isn’t what you would have envisioned, but your daughter and the grandsons know they can rely on you and their extended family, and everyone is stable and surrounded by love. Many hugs to you.

  468. birgerjohansson says

    Where the wild things aren’t: Cats avoid places coyotes roam http://phys.org/news/2015-06-wild-cats-coyotes-roam.html
    — — — — — —

    A golden oldie of hate speech with an Iranian twist. Ze Joos! Ze Joos!
    “Pastor Blames the Jews for Same-Sex Marriage on Iranian TV” http://freethoughtblogs.com/dispatches/2015/07/01/pastor-blames-the-jews-for-same-sex-marriage-on-iranian-tv/
    He goes on about “the key Jewish role played in the mainstreaming of abortion, LGBT, and pornography in the United States”…
    Them Joos sure are busy, accomplishing all of that!

  469. says

    OMG
    I’m crying
    I’m so relieved. My professor wrote back and basically blamed everyone but me.
    I think she might be a bit annoyed that a lack of a genitus S would be considered a “change in topic”.
    Also, I hadn’t even noticed that they had misspelled Tamora as “Tamara” in my official topic.

  472. bassmike says

    It would be fun to think that the support of the Lounge was instrumental in the acceptance of your thesis Giliell , but I know in reality it was all your own hard work! Well done.

  475. chigau (違う) says

    Crudely Wrott
    Very nice to see your news first thing in my morning.

  476. Saad says

    Ben Carson is passionate about his candidacy.

    “I really don’t want to do this, to be honest with you” …. “I was looking forward to a relaxing retirement, you know, with a beautiful home in Florida by a golf course.”

    Confidence inspiring. It’s about time we have a commander in chief who wakes up early in the morning, looks at his agenda, goes “Meh” and shuffles back to the bedroom.

    Source

  477. Ogvorbis: failed human says

    Remember: alcohol may not be the answer, but it is a solution.

  478. rq says

    Sorry I’ve been out and about elsewhere all day, YAY for Giliell!!! So glad for you!!

    Also, *hugs* for Crudely Wrott, it’s so good to hear some good news from you!

    +++

    Read this a couple of days ago, on gender parity in Parliament, and it took me a couple of double-takes to realize those weren’t typos.

  480. rq says

    Saad
    Hello!
    re: Carson
    Heck, if that’s his attitude and h meddles less with the rest of the world… why not?

  481. rq says

    Warning for rather racist imagery… and some other unpleasant messages including homophobia, etc. Totally non-racist image distributed by anti-immigration proponents fervid protectors of the national identity of Latvia!!!
    Essentially, the gay agenda in Latvia is being forced in order to allow black refugees arrive in Latvia, marry all our white women, have mixed-race children, and receive European Union passports! Because that’s the plan! Plus it’s all black (and brown) men coming to this country, none of this families fleeing in terror bullshit!!!!!
    I have a feeling I have some FB unfriending to do in my near future.

  482. Saad says

    rq, #480

    Hi!

    You’re probably right. For the rest of the world, that might be a good thing.

  483. Crudely Wrott, lurching towards recrudescence says

    World wide phenomena, rq. Some people accept and arrange their lives accordingly and lay up treasures in this world, much to the joy and profit of all. Others resist, they balk and claim prior authority, much to their own chagrin.

    Tide goes out, tide comes in. How does that work?

    We live in a world of symbols and abstractions and many a man dies by his own cliches.*

    *still looking for a citation for this quote. Anyone?

  484. says

    Hi Saad! Your presence was missed around here. I hope all is well.

    ****

    Giliell:
    I’m glad your prof didn’t blame you. That’s got to be a huge weight off your shoulders.

    ****

    Crudely:
    I’m thrilled that you and your family found a place to stay, and I’m glad the Horde was able to assist you in your time of need (as they’ve done so many people-myself included-so many times).

  485. Crudely Wrott, lurching towards recrudescence says

    Hey! Tony!.
    How the hell are ya?

    Lovely to see you again my friend.
    Walk along with me to the next bend.
    Tell us what you’ve seen
    In far away forgotten lands
    Where empires have turned back to sand.

    Seven qutloos for anyone who recognizes Moody Blues.

  486. Crudely Wrott, lurching towards recrudescence says

    I’m going outside to move dirt now. Yes. I am actually going to alter the face of the earth.

    OK, I’m just going to fill a couple holes in the driveway but, just look at what I can do . . .

    That I have regained the ability to do so is not only way cool it is also motivation.

    Back in a while . . .

  487. Crudely Wrott, lurching towards recrudescence says

    Should have included above some quirky allusion to something like “can you dig it?”

    I am energized and I want to explore how that happened. There is so much to do and all of a sudden I am motivated to just get busy. Oh frabjous day! I’m human again!!

  488. says

    rq

    Totally non-racist image distributed by anti-immigration proponents fervid protectors of the national identity of Latvia!!!

    That looks like a fine couple to me.
    Fuck those assholes. In Germany, every day at least one refugee home is attacked, in Austria they#re carrying gallows to anti-immigration ralleys.
    I’m worried. Very worried. Cause where could we run to this time?

  489. Crudely Wrott, lurching towards recrudescence says

    We should not run. We should walk. With purpose. Shoulder to shoulder. Slow and steady wins the race. Just look at last week.

    Sometimes progress is achingly slow and may seem fruitless. Those who have gone before us must be smiling because we have kept on walkin’, kept on talkin’, marchin’ to the freedom land.*

    I watched something similar happen back in the 60s. It was deeply frightening and even today is incomplete. Still, we walk together into the future. Faith? You bet. Faith in myself and in you and you and that guy over there and that gal yonder. Life is seldom phenomena; it is mostly process. Slow process. It is what we hand over to those we raise up and who will inherit our wind.

    Never give up. Never stop.

    *hat tip to Steve Miller Band

  490. Saad says

    Thanks, Tony. Just had some meatspace stuff going on. Hope you’re doing well.

  491. says

    Saad @490:
    To be honest, I’m not doing spectacularly as I’m still unemployed.
    Speaking of which-
    Dear Horde–
    I thank everyone who was able to pitch in and help me out last month. Loathe as I am to ask for assistance again, since I still have no job, I’m in need of assistance once again. It’s rent time and I only have $150 out of the $412 I owe. If anyone is willing or able to, I would really appreciate any assistance.
    My email associated with PayPal is-
    t*a*n*t*h*o*n*y*v @yahoo.com
    (obviously without the asterisk<—I can never spell this word correctly).

  492. rq says

    Giliell
    Actually, when I first saw the picture, I thought it was a positive image – you know, healthy young mixed-race couple with a baby… until I noticed all the little background stuff, and the article it was attached to.

    Tony
    *hugs* I’m sorry I can’t help you out this time, too. :( It’s the end of a very tight financial month for us, roundabouts July 10 it should be looking up again!

    Saad
    Incidentally, I hope you’ve been well. :)

  493. Crudely Wrott, lurching towards recrudescence says

    Thanking bassmike, carlie, chigau and rq and! Tony! for the touches.

    Such friendliness means more than you know. Or maybe you do know . . .

    Regardless, kindly offered, gratefully received.

  496. Crudely Wrott, lurching towards recrudescence says

    Holey Mutthead, makeral, here on the mid-Atlantic peneplain it’s been nudging 100 degrees F. for two weeks or better.

    Good new is that rain is forecast every day for the next week.
    Bad news is that rain is forecast every day for the next week.

    And I have exterior painting that needs finished and I’ve only got the first coat on. Fudge.

  497. rq says

    Lessee… 100 Fahrenheit… *quick conversion* Wow, that’s like 38 degress Celsius! In June? Wow.
    We’re only hitting those temperatures this week, June was annoyingly cold.
    Anyway, in honour of July.

  498. Crudely Wrott, lurching towards recrudescence says

    Luckily, the relative humidity has been behaving. In fact, at the moment the outside RH is 27% at 87 F. (cooling trend ahead of a storm front, thankfully) while inside, with AC, it”s 78 F. and 49%.

    I worked in New Orleans during the summer of 1979. I recall temps of 95 F. plus and RH of 95% plus. Sweating was a waste of energy and resource.

  499. Crudely Wrott, lurching towards recrudescence says

    By the way, rq>/b> . . . you have the most wonderful avatar. My face rises up at the edges at your every post. Anx!

  500. Crudely Wrott, lurching towards recrudescence says

    Well, I tried to get that right and all tucked away and proper but in spite of that I think the previous comment looks good. Passably good. Good enough. I like it and the message is certainly unmistakeable. Success via failure; a new standard!